Answer me a simple question, please.. Options

[Oreo_bro]

Why is it.

That when it comes to friendship, it doenst matter what you look like, if your a good friend thats what you are, regardless of looks/personality.

But

When it comes to gf/bf, even if you have a great personality, and the person likes being with you, if your not hot/handsom then you have no chance with the one you love when compared to a supermodel type person?

The question is, in its simpilist forum, is why do people, guys and girls, let outwardly appearance affect their decision? When in all reality, looks are only skin deep and fade with time, yet the inner beauty remains the same?



i just..cant..figure this out girls, pls tell me why so many of you *and yes guys are included but im focusing on the girls for a moment, not saying all girls do this, but just in general* let looks be the judge?

why..

[SarahxJoy]

I don't see why you are focusing on the girls (even for a that moment there), since there are girls out there with eating disorders thinking they never look good enough. <--Sorry, I was just wondering.

But yes, I think people take looks into account when they're considering that person as a partner for a relationship because honestly, they're thinking of themselves.
The inner beauty is always one of the top priorities and expectations as a friend, but for relationships, not friendships, I guess people are expecting more.

I don't know how to explain it...

[Winter]

I'm always friends with a guy before we go out. So looks honestly don't matter to me. So I know what he's like you know, on the inside. I know how he feels and stuff. And that's what attracts me to him.

[DoOdOox3]

ok i c what u mean
ok maybe herez the scenerio..
a girl likes a guy thatz good lookin AND nice personality.. nd another guy whoz ugly [wow thatz harsh but w/e] nd nice personality.. then the grl would go for the guy whoz goodlookin..
everyonez sayin y pplz pick good lookin pplz rather than good personality.. as if the good lookin pplz don have personality or something which is not tru.
so u kno everyone wants a "better".. if the good lookin person looks better nd have the same personality.. the grl would choose the good lookin


but still there r lotz shallow ppl.. cant escape from the beauti outside.. so some grls mite pick the pretty boys with shitty personlity.. but let them be.. they will taste the biterness eventually

X

[Edele]

Okay. Most of the time looks don't matter. Atleast not to me. But you know, what I consider attractive, might not be attractive to the general public. I don't like guys that have six packs, and are buff, and such. I like guys with glasses, wear t-shirts/hoodies, jeans, and tennis shoes, that look a little geeky.

But the reason looks DO go into account is simply because you HAVE to be physically attracted to someone to have things workout. It has to be a balance between the two, half physical attraction and half personality or emotional attraction.

P.S. Everyone has their owns tastes. So, how one person might find someone physically and emotionally attracted, another person may not.

Balance.

Given some people choose physical more. But hey, that's life.

[*stephinika*]

yeah thats just how people are. and looks are more visible than personality, so sadly sometimes thats just the way things go. but yeah remember all people aren't like that.

[*krnxswat*]

Where'd you plagarize the first 5 paragraphs from?

[*Weird addiction*]

i have no idea why

[ghjgfkgfk]

[i didn't read the other posts yet, so sorry if i'm repeating things]
btw, i'm a girl (last time i checked!)
but um, yeah.
i'm proably going to come off as shallow here but...

looks DO matter, when first seeing someone. it's how you remember them and what makes you want to know more or less about them.
some people aren't attractive because of their looks, but their personality. it's when you first see them and they aren't the hottest thing in the world (next to me, of course. haha) but once you get to know them and they're like really cool and all, you think differently and they're cute because of how they act.

or maybe it's the other way. some people who are attractive when it comes to looks, but when you get to know them more, they aren't so pretty/hot anymore because of their personality and the things they do.

i make no sense.

[Oreo_bro]

to add a little more info.

this isnt really about somethign that happend to me, i already have a gf so yeah...

this is more for my 2nd best buddy cause he was asking me the same question yesterday at school, was just wondering what people, the girls especally thought.

cause u see. He is friends with this girl thats not REALLY popular but she is popular a little, and they are close, like she crys on his shoulder and shares her deepest darkest secrets with him *wich he wont tell me lol* and i mean she was single too. Hes not the most attractive guy in the world by far, hes a little chubby, not cause hes lazy, but cause he use to play football and he gained weight back then. He wears glasses/contacts and he wears sorta inbetween tight and loose clothing.

Now a lot of people, and i mena like me, my friends, and even the girls friends, though my buddy and her were gonna get together, well the time came and he was gonna ask her out but like, she asked this one hot guy out just cause he was hot! her friends even said that! hell, i was there when they aske dher why did she ask him out, they al know he's a b!tch *he is, hes mean to people an dplays pranks on kids in jr high* and she said "cause he was hot and avaible".


so right..a bitchy hot guy gets lucky, when a cute nice guy gets left in the dust...yeah..

oh and i didnt mena this to be sexist or anything, it was just the situation

[xTINAA]

i`m not sure but i think it`s because then they would be embarrassed to date that person based on looks. because if they are like This is my friend and someone says they are ugly it doesn`t i guess hurt you but if you are like this is my girl/boyfriend and someone says they are ugly then you get offended... i think. but yeah, basically i think people care too much about what other people will think so that is why. plus there being FRIENDS and being a SIGNIFICANT OTHER is very different. so just because someone is a great friend & loved a friend, it doesn`t always work the same if that person were to be their significant other...heh sorry that was kind of confusing.

[teenprincess]

that's a good question, I've never actually thought of it before. But maybe if your talking to someone your not attracted to then you can just talk to them and they can really be your friends, but If you are attracted to them then when you talk to them you don't want to be their friends, and your destracted my their looks. I dont know, I'm just rambling, and I'm confusing myself

[kaytee_lou]

i know a guy who is like that .. used to, when we hung out .. we used to be really close, but when he got around a lot of guys .. he wouldnt say one word to me .. i think a lot of people are different around others because their afraid of what someone might think if they go out with someone who doesnt look as good as someone else does .. it's like some guys wont go out with girls if they're not skinny enough or tall enough or gorgeous enough because they dont want their other friends making fun of them for going out with someone who isnt the best looking .. its not just guys though, girls are like that too .. i used to say that if i had a boyfriend, he would have to be cute .. but when you start hanging out with people, and they have a great personality .. they start to become better looking .. so it shouldnt matter if they're the most gorgeous person in the world, or just okay .. i dont think you should judge someone on their outside appearance, even though i still do it .. like if i see a guy in the mall, i'll either say hes cute or ugly .. and thats judging him .. its just a habit of mine though!

[xsilent_kidx]

its becasue when your seen wiht a (quote"ugly"unquote)girl that u can jus be like,nah she is jus a firned and then whisper to a fired"she is hideoues"
but if u date that girl then your cant be like that u have to say...umm i asked her out?
EWEW SHE UGLY DAWG
and u dont get props but if you catch a nice one then all the guys are like...eh eh u gonna tap that eh eh.

[shortAY_07]

I think it's just human instinct to go for physical beauty rather than "what's on the inside". I know 'cause I do it too. But not everybody is like that. My boyfriend isn't exactly Heath Ledger, but I don't mind because we get along and I think he's one of the best people in the world. It also helps that he's a very good kisser.

[*krnxswat*]

Love how you just ignored my question.

[Chaos13]

whoa! thats a good topic you've brought up! yet i still wondered.

[houjin_himo]

i AGREE WiTH WiNTER

[IamNoBody]

eeep i think i'm saying something someone else already has so sorry if i do but yea i think it's because when you're someones friend it matters more what their personality is so they can help you and stuff and you don't really care about their looks becaus ei mean its your FRIEND....you don't relally need them to be pretty ( I'm confusing myself...lol) yea but if you're going out with someone their appearance is what first "catches" your attention cause you can't see their personality...... sorry...i don't think this made sense just now....but good topic!!

[eversosweet]

i think it's just human instinct to go for physical beauty rather than "what's on the inside".

^^ i agree, i mean as a friend, you don't really care how they look like. in a friendship it matters more on their personality then their looks. whereas in a relationship, they rather go for a hot gf/bf rather than whats 'inside' becasue they're worried bout the comments their friends are gonna say bout their gf/bf


did that even make sense?

[NvieDi3ai3yGrL]

i couldn't agree with you more. however, realistically it's in one's nature for looks to count along with personality. i most definitely feel that personality is more important but looks do play a role as well. you can't just force yourself to be happy with someone you aren't physically attracted to.. either the attraction is there with personality and looks or it isn't..i can't fully judge because i haven't been in a situation that would show my true opinion on the matter. however, it also ranges on people's tastes and what they consider to be good looking .. someone can be happy with a wonderful person but others will look at them and think *what the fcuk!?* lol .. so i don't know .. i personally go by both .. personality is the major factor.. but they still have to be somewhat appealing and good to my eyes :)

[gigiopolis]

Well. If you want me to go all scientific on you...

The only reason humans want good looking partners in life is because they want to produce good looking babies, babies that will grow up to be good looking and therefore attract more attention from other good looking people. That's why we look for hot guys/girls. Because we want our children to be hot.

But for friends...you don't really need to make babies with them, do you? So why would it matter if he/she were slightly unattractive (<--understatement).

Okay, here's for the more mental view:

I'm not sure why. Maybe because society forces us to think everything has to be beautiful in order to be loved. Maybe because media has brainwashed us into loving beautiful things. Maybe because people have made it so that there is only one kind of beautiful person, and if you don't fit into that mold, you won't succeed in love and therefore will not be loved.

*sigh*. It's all about society these days, isn't it?

[sheddingtears]

wow that was deep. you deserve an applause.


lol. but to be honest, when it comes to choosing the right guy, i admit that i can be a bit shallow. it's human nature i guess. if the guy's inner beauty shines so strong to me, then of course i'd give him a chance.

and adding to what "barelyy_coherent" said, yes, our society today is brainwashed--from magazines, TV, etc... which all affects our minds and cause us to believe that the meaning of perfection and beauty fits to what we see today in those magazines or whatever when the people in it are really imperfect themselves. tools like the computer, airbrushing, make-up, etc... creates this perfection. so when we see some of the like qualities in the people we see, we admire them and it just goes from there. but, beauty eventually fades anyway. nothing really lasts forever.

[Justingamemaster]

Why is it.

That when it comes to friendship, it doenst matter what you look like, if your a good friend thats what you are, regardless of looks/personality.

But

When it comes to gf/bf, even if you have a great personality, and the person likes being with you, if your not hot/handsom then you have no chance with the one you love when compared to a supermodel type person?

The question is, in its simpilist forum, is why do people, guys and girls, let outwardly appearance affect their decision? When in all reality, looks are only skin deep and fade with time, yet the inner beauty remains the same?



i just..cant..figure this out girls, pls tell me why so many of you *and yes guys are included but im focusing on the girls for a moment, not saying all girls do this, but just in general* let looks be the judge?

why..

Personally i think we (guys) are more inclined to say no if that person is not some hotty. But i don't think it's true that girls are that "visual." If you're hot/handsome, you will just get more "auditions." What i mean is that if your handsome, more girls will check you out. But if you aren't, you can still "get" the girl if you have a great personality, or if the girl likes the way you are.

[Just_Dream]

You can't possibly tell me that you've never been attracted to a girl just becuase you notice she's cute, pretty, or hot (you name it)? Don't lie to yourself and say that looks don't matter because deep down, everyone is attracted to someone and notices them by the looks first. I'm not saying that everything is based on looks, but that's what people will notice, unless they're blind (and I really DO mean blind, as in they cannot see, NOT in a derogatory way). But it's the personality that keeps the relationship going. I'm not a good-looking person, but I did think my bf was cute, when I first met him. But then I wouldn't have loved him if he didn't have a good personality.

But even so, looks aren't that much of a big thing to me. Yea sure I can think guys are cute/hot/handsome, but I wouldn't dare like-like them unless I was for sure that they had a good personality. I guess what I'm trying to say is looks and personality are an important factor. But IMO, poersonality should ALWAYS outweigh looks, no matter what. No offense, but it seems as if guys are alot more picky than girls. No offense or anything, but yea sometimes I do see pretty girls who are dating not-as-pretty guys and sometimes I think "she can get better, look-wise." But then I realized, that the pretty girl saw something wonderful in that guy, that it greatly outweighed looks.

[Guarneri]

when you fall in love... the ugliest person in the world can become the most beautiful person to you.

[l_anqeless_l]

yeah because to date someone there has to be an initial attraction... no matter how many people say that looks don't matter... i don't believe it... looks aren't everything, but if ur not physically attracted to them how far can it go?