a man and his passion, a baked beans story |
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 Oct 31 2004, 08:41 PM
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#1
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 Member  Group: Member Posts: 16 Joined: Oct 2004 Member No: 56,419  |
there was this guy who had a terrible passion for baked beans. he'd have them every meal of everyday, even in spite of the "ill effects" he experiences after eating them. when he finally met the woman that would be his wife, he vowed to never again eat another baked bean as long as he lived.
several months had passed, and it was the day of his birthday. as he drove home from work, his car broke down. he called his wife and told her he'd have to walk home. while walking, he passed a cafe. an aroma flowed out of that restaurant and caressed his nostrils. the man knew that smell... baked beans. the aroma had overpowered him, but he still remembered the promise he had made to his wife. "its a little ways from home," he thought, "im sure it wont hurt much". he went inside and had three extra large helpings of baked beans, and then proceeded to walk off the "ill effects." when he arrived home, his wife met him at the door and told him she had a big surprise for him. she blindfolded him and took the man into a room and sat him in a chair. "now," said his wife, "dont open the blindfold, okay?" the man nodded. suddenly, the man began to feel intense pressure in his stomach. he had realized he may have eaten too many beans, but if he broke wind in front of his wife, then she would probably figure out what he did. as she was about to remove the blindfold, the telephone rang and she left the room to answer it. the man now realized that this was his chance. he leaned to one side and let it out slowly, but unable to control it, resulted in a loud *brump*. after a brief sigh of relief, he discovered that it wasn't over. his second fart sounded like a diesel engine revving up, and smelled a lot worse than the first one. soon, the windows fogged (some even cracked) and all the plants and flowers in the room had died. the man overheard his wife ending her conversation, so he felt around and grabbed what was a napkin and fanned off any smell that could have been lingering in the room. when his wife returned to the room, she found her husband, still blindfolded (he never took it off). he was the picture of innocence. "did you take off the blindfold?" asked his wife. the man shook his head no. the woman then counted to three and took off the blindfold. the man's jaw dropped, for there were 12 dinner guests seated around the dining room table for his surprise birthday party. The moral of the story: a promise broken will break other things (wind) |
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Nov 1 2004, 02:36 PM
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#2
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 Yum. =] Group: Member Posts: 888 Joined: May 2004 Member No: 16,139 |
Good moral. Funny joke, but it's been posted before, I think.
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Nov 22 2004, 03:22 PM
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#3
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 Senior Member Group: Official Member Posts: 6,953 Joined: Oct 2004 Member No: 52,702 |
i heard this one
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Nov 22 2004, 03:38 PM
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#4
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 whatever d00de Group: Member Posts: 1,349 Joined: Nov 2004 Member No: 63,060 |
lol thats funny
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Nov 30 2004, 11:47 PM
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#5
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 LiLaZnGurL Group: Member Posts: 969 Joined: Jul 2004 Member No: 29,072 |
lol how embarrassing for him haha
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Dec 1 2004, 04:30 PM
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#6
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 Smile Like a Retard =D Group: Member Posts: 1,350 Joined: Nov 2004 Member No: 63,186 |
awww, poor guy!
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Dec 1 2004, 05:27 PM
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#7
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 RiKACHANtEL Group: Member Posts: 3,876 Joined: Sep 2004 Member No: 51,230 |
awwww!!! thats f**ked up!!!! i would have been so mad and embarrassed....
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Dec 5 2004, 04:52 PM
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#8
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 Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 290 Joined: Jun 2004 Member No: 22,423 |
aw.. poor fella. :( |
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Dec 11 2004, 10:55 AM
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#9
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 My batteries are dead. Group: Member Posts: 45 Joined: Nov 2004 Member No: 66,393 |
Heard it before...many times....but still verrrrry funny
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Dec 11 2004, 10:22 PM
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#10
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 Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 219 Joined: Dec 2004 Member No: 68,958 |
haha funny.
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Dec 12 2004, 02:33 PM
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#11
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 define our lives for us. Group: Staff Alumni Posts: 11,656 Joined: Aug 2004 Member No: 43,293 |
bad for the man...
what ever happened to him anyway? with him and his upset stomach? |
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Jan 7 2005, 12:59 AM
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#12
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 Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 184 Joined: Oct 2004 Member No: 59,375 |
hilarious!!
 great joke!
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Jan 8 2005, 01:40 PM
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#13
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 HI IM aLLi =] Group: Member Posts: 216 Joined: Aug 2004 Member No: 41,012 |
hahaha sucks fer the birthday guy lol
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Jan 8 2005, 08:24 PM
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#14
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 boo Group: Member Posts: 5,512 Joined: Dec 2004 Member No: 71,765 |
serves the guy right.
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Jan 8 2005, 08:31 PM
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#15
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d O r k Group: Member Posts: 154 Joined: Dec 2004 Member No: 71,505 |
eww. but aww.
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