you weren't supposed to |
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 Oct 2 2004, 11:09 PM
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#1
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Member  Group: Member Posts: 12 Joined: Jul 2004 Member No: 30,969  |
You weren’t supposed to see me
There. With tears slipping out of my eyes. Crying. You weren’t supposed to hear me Pour my soul onto the azalea bushes Who, in turn Wilted away, under my red rimmed eyes Please, say you didn’t hear Me pray So fervently For the deliverance that never came While I sat under the bumblebee hive And you sat there Unknowns to me Listening to the rants of a lost soul Wandering among the azalea bushes. Why were you there To hold me When all I wanted to do was cry Alone Tucked away in the corner of the world |
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Oct 3 2004, 03:04 AM
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#2
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 Will write poetry for sex! Group: Member Posts: 1,110 Joined: Jan 2004 Member No: 600 |
Hrm, not bad.
Something about the repetition is off...Maybe could've been more organized. I like the line: QUOTE Pour my soul onto the azalea bushes Who, in turn Wilted away, under my red rimmed eyes Keep posting.  -Joe |
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Oct 3 2004, 10:31 AM
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#3
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SOS Brigade!! Group: Member Posts: 2,573 Joined: Sep 2004 Member No: 47,775 |
good job keep posting =P
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