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man who loved baked beans, this is hilarious...
swtmaggie92
post Sep 21 2004, 07:48 PM
Post #1


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Once upon a time, there lived a man who had a terrible passion
for baked beans. He loved them, but they always had an
embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction on him. One day he met
a girl and fell in love. When it became apparent that they would
marry, he thought to himself, she'll never go through with the
marriage with me carrying on like this, so he made the supreme
sacrifice and gave up beans.

Shortly after that they were married. A few months later, on his
birthday and on the way home from work, his car broke down.
Since they lived in the country, he called his wife and told her
that he would be late because he had to walk home. On his way
home, he passed a small cafe and the wonderful aroma of baked
beans overwhelmed him. Since he still had several miles to walk
he figured he could walk off any ill affects before he got home.
It was, after all, his birthday. So he went in and ordered, and
before leaving had 3 extra large helpings of baked beans.

All the way home he putt-putted. By the time he arrived home he
felt reasonably safe. His wife met him at the door and seemed
somewhat excited. She exclaimed, "Darling, I have the most
wonderful surprise for you for dinner tonight!" She put a
blindfold on him, and led him to his chair at the head of the
table and made him promise not to peak. At this point he was
beginning to feel another one coming on. Just as his wife was
about to remove the blindfold, the telephone rang. She again
made him promise not to peek until she returned, and away she
went to answer the phone. While she was gone, he seized the
opportunity. He shifted his weight to one leg and let go. It was
not only loud, but ripe as a rotten egg. He had a hard time
breathing, so he felt for his napkin and fanned the air about
him. He had just started to feel better, when another urge came
on. He raised his leg and RRIIPPP !!! It sounded like a diesel
engine revving, and smelled worse. To keep from gagging, he
tried fanning his arms a while, hoping the smell would
dissipate. He got another urge. This was a real blue ribbon
winner, the windows shook, the dishes on the table rattled and a
minute later the flowers on the table were dead.

With his blindfold still on, when he heard the phone farewells
he neatly laid his napkin on his lap and folded his hands on top
of it. Smiling contentedly, he was the picture of innocence when
his wife walked in. Apologizing for taking so long, she asked if
he had peeked at the dinner table. After assuring her he had not
peeked, she removed the blindfold and yelled, "SURPRISE!!!"

To his shock and horror, there were twelve dinner guests seated
around the table for his surprise birthday party. whistling.gif
 
mzteriouzme007
post Sep 21 2004, 08:43 PM
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hahahahah!! LOLZ@
 
o0_BLuez_0o
post Sep 21 2004, 11:35 PM
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omg thats soo funny! i would be so embarrassed
 
xtremeliquid
post Sep 22 2004, 12:38 AM
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Haha funny.
 
SarahxJoy
post Sep 23 2004, 01:12 AM
Post #5


What the fack.
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Lmao. I wonder how those people survived in that toxic air. tongue.gif Lol.
 
Teesa
post Sep 24 2004, 02:37 PM
Post #6


crushed.
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omg i heard that one before..it is the BEST joke=D..i always laugh at that one..aw how embarassing for the guy..lol
 
*AngelicEyz00*
post Sep 24 2004, 02:48 PM
Post #7





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ROFLMFAO oh my god!! laugh.gif that's horrible
 
*stephinika*
post Sep 25 2004, 03:53 PM
Post #8





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LMAO!! Oh my god...hahahaha i love it. biggrin.gif
 
inthemudhole
post Sep 25 2004, 03:55 PM
Post #9


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ROFL!!!!!
Haha, omfg. I haven't laughed that hard in a long time! XDDDD
 
gothicvengeance
post Sep 25 2004, 05:10 PM
Post #10


I'd like to have u for dinner.
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LOL!! laugh.gif Awesome joke! I feel bad for the guy...._. it must have been so embarrassing.
 
xLil SweetnezZx
post Sep 26 2004, 08:14 AM
Post #11


Soft drinks are my high
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OMG lol-ur jokes r so funny laugh.gif
 
swe3ttemptasian
post Sep 26 2004, 08:20 AM
Post #12


to be loved by someone you love is.. everything
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OMG LOL! biggrin.gif laugh.gif happy.gif tongue.gif pinch.gif ohmy.gif
 
pnai4eva
post Sep 27 2004, 03:00 PM
Post #13


ranDUMB
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ROFL!!!! OMFG THAT IS SOO FUNNY!!!
 
JessJR1022
post Sep 27 2004, 03:04 PM
Post #14


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hahahahaha...that was great.......
 

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