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 Sep 20 2004, 07:24 PM
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#1
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 Newbie  Group: Member Posts: 0 Joined: Jul 2004 Member No: 31,817  |
First Affair
There was a middle-aged couple who had two stunningly beautiful teen-aged daughters. They decided to try one last time for the son that they always wanted. After months of trying, the Wife became pregnant and sure enough, nine months later delivered a healthy baby boy. The joyful father rushed to the nursery to see his new son. He took one look and was horrified to see the ugliest child he had ever seen. He went to his wife and said that there was no way he could be the father of that child. "Look at the two beautiful daughters I fathered." Then he gave her a stern look and asked, "Have you been fooling around on me?" The wife just smiled sweetly and said....."Not this time." ***************************************************************** Second Affair A mortician was working late one night. It was his job to examine the dead bodies before they were sent off to be buried or cremated. As he examined the body of Mr. Schwartz, who was about to be cremanted, he discovered the longest private part he had ever seen! "I'm sorry Mr. Schwartz," said the mortician, "But I can't send you off to be cremated with a tremendously huge private part like this. It has to be saved for posterity." And with that, the coroner used his tools to remove the dead man's member. The coroner stuffed his prize into his briefcase and took it home. The first person he showed was his wife. "I have something to show you that you won't beleive." he said, and opened his briefcase. "Oh my God!" she screamed....."Schwartz is dead!" ***************************************************************** Third Affair A man walks into a bar one night. He goes up to the bar and asks for a bear. "Certainly sir, that'll be one cent." "ONE CENT!" exclaimed the guy. Teh barman replied "Yes." So the guy glances over at the menu and he asks, "Could I have a nice juicy T-bone steak, with chips, peas and a fried egg?" "Certainly sir" replies the bartender, but all that comes to real money." "How much money?" inquires the guy. "4 cents", he replies. "FOUR cents!" exclaims the guy. Where's the guy who owns this place?" The barman replies, "Upstairs with my wife." The guy says, "What's he doing with your wife?" The bartender replies, "Same as I'm doing to his business." |
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Sep 20 2004, 09:19 PM
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#2
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SOS Brigade!! Group: Member Posts: 2,573 Joined: Sep 2004 Member No: 47,775 |
wow this is funny lolz sad as heck though
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Sep 21 2004, 04:06 AM
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#3
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 jn Group: Member Posts: 713 Joined: Sep 2004 Member No: 49,769 |
omg. that's funny yet...hahahahahah!!!
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Oct 1 2004, 01:08 AM
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#4
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 Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 889 Joined: Aug 2004 Member No: 42,392 |
lol ...i;ve heard it before..though it was in chinese.
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| *wind&fire* |
Oct 1 2004, 07:10 AM
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#5
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Guest |
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA!!! farking funny!!!!!!
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Oct 1 2004, 09:15 AM
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#6
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 Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 1,989 Joined: Apr 2004 Member No: 10,691 |
Thats funny.
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Oct 1 2004, 02:25 PM
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#7
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 ohBrian Group: Member Posts: 556 Joined: Aug 2004 Member No: 44,625 |
hahaha its alwaysn the ladies!
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Oct 31 2004, 05:07 AM
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#8
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Jessica Group: Member Posts: 480 Joined: Jul 2004 Member No: 29,118 |
lols funnieeeeeee!
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Oct 31 2004, 08:39 AM
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#9
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 Yum. =] Group: Member Posts: 888 Joined: May 2004 Member No: 16,139 |
Heh, I like that last one
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Nov 12 2004, 12:38 AM
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#10
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Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 136 Joined: Mar 2004 Member No: 9,910 |
i dind't get the last one
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| *Weird addiction* |
Nov 13 2004, 11:54 AM
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#11
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Guest |
i didnt get the 2nd,the last one wuz funni tho
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Nov 13 2004, 12:03 PM
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#12
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 Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 2,248 Joined: Jul 2004 Member No: 30,084 |
lol
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Nov 13 2004, 02:53 PM
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#13
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 Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 2,172 Joined: Jul 2004 Member No: 34,045 |
i didn't get tha 2nd one, either..
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Nov 13 2004, 03:29 PM
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#14
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 team late night queen Group: Member Posts: 1,602 Joined: Feb 2004 Member No: 2,861 |
aha.. those are funny =]
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Nov 13 2004, 11:32 PM
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#15
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 i need an sn change. Group: Member Posts: 1,915 Joined: Jul 2004 Member No: 27,746 |
QUOTE(swtmaggie92 @ Sep 20 2004, 7:24 PM) The wife just smiled sweetly and said....."Not this time." ***************************************************************** Oh my God!" she screamed....."Schwartz is dead!" ***************************************************************** lol i realy like those |
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Nov 14 2004, 01:04 PM
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#16
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 I Luv Yooh! Group: Member Posts: 874 Joined: Jul 2004 Member No: 29,183 |
LOL!!! Haha, those r funnni!
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Nov 15 2004, 03:01 PM
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#17
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 Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 1,498 Joined: Jun 2004 Member No: 25,711 |
lol i liked the first 2.. the last one was sorta hard to get.. but it was funny too
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Nov 17 2004, 04:20 PM
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#18
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 RiKACHANtEL Group: Member Posts: 3,876 Joined: Sep 2004 Member No: 51,230 |
i dont get the last one.
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