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 Aug 12 2004, 02:50 AM
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#1
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 Yum. =]  Group: Member Posts: 888 Joined: May 2004 Member No: 16,139  |
A man was ordered by his doctor to lose 75 lbs. due to very serious health
risks. As he wondered how in the heck he would ever do it, he ran across an ad in the newspaper for a GUARANTEED WEIGHT LOSS PROGRAM guaranteed. Yeah right!" he thought to himself. But desperate, he calls them up and subscribes to the 3-day/10 pound weight loss program. The next day there's a knock at his door, and when he answers, there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old young lady dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign round her neck. She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company. The sign reads, "If you can catch me, you can have me!" Without a second thought he takes off after her. A few miles later, huffing and puffing, he finally catches her and has his way with her. After they are through and she leaves, he thinks to himself, "I like the way this company does business!" The same girl shows up for the next two days and the same thing happens. On the fourth day, he weighs himself and is delighted to find he has lost 10lb as promised. He calls the company and orders their 5-day/ 20 pound program. The next day there's a knock at the door and there stands the most stunning, beautiful, sexy woman he has ever seen in his life, wearing nothing but Reebok running shoes and a sign around her neck that Reads, "If you catch me, you can have me!" He's out the door and after her like a shot. This girl is in excellent shape and it takes him a while to catch her, but when he does, it is worth every cramp and wheeze. For the next four days, the same routine happens. Much to his delight, on the fifth day, he weighs himself and found he has lost another 20 lbs. as promised. He decides to go for broke and calls the company to order the 7-day/50 pound program. "Are you sure?" asks the representative on the phone. "This is our most rigorous program." "Absolutely," he replies, "I haven't felt this good in years". The next day there's a knock at the door and when he opens it he finds a muscular guy standing there wearing nothing but pink running shoes and a sign around his neck that reads, "If I catch you, I can have you!" 
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Aug 12 2004, 02:52 AM
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#2
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 ‹(. .)› Group: Official Member Posts: 2,367 Joined: Jun 2004 Member No: 20,089 |
aaaaaahahah ;o poor dude
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Aug 12 2004, 02:59 AM
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#3
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 Is it maturity, or admitting defeat...? Group: Member Posts: 152 Joined: Aug 2004 Member No: 36,659 |
LOL OMG that's so wrong
 , I would hate to be that guy.
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Aug 12 2004, 03:07 AM
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#4
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 Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 1,384 Joined: Aug 2004 Member No: 37,337 |
lmfao sad....
at least he loast like 30 pounds 
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Aug 12 2004, 03:17 AM
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#5
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 :hammer: Group: Staff Alumni Posts: 9,849 Joined: Mar 2004 Member No: 7,700 |
ROFLMFAO. hahhahahaa..
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Aug 12 2004, 03:21 AM
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#6
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 GREEENROCKS Group: Member Posts: 1,393 Joined: Apr 2004 Member No: 10,624 |
ooh. scary *shudders....i feel sorry for that guy. i think...demand for your money back....better keep running.
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Aug 12 2004, 05:17 AM
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#7
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 say maydayism. Group: Staff Alumni Posts: 7,447 Joined: Jun 2004 Member No: 26,344 |
*lol* well at least that guy lost a lot of weight
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Aug 12 2004, 05:22 AM
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#8
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 Assistant Manager of Personal Group: Member Posts: 1,101 Joined: Jul 2004 Member No: 26,922 |
hmmmmmmmm what is ithe number of this company .......
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Aug 12 2004, 09:39 AM
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#9
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Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 97 Joined: Aug 2004 Member No: 36,267 |
lmao pink runnin shoes
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Aug 12 2004, 10:16 AM
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#10
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 doot doot doot Group: Member Posts: 1,803 Joined: Jan 2004 Member No: 1,954 |
WHOAA LOL poor guy
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Aug 12 2004, 10:18 AM
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#11
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 who again? Group: Member Posts: 555 Joined: Jul 2004 Member No: 31,458 |
QUOTE(diezelbabygrl_xoxo @ Aug 12 2004, 2:50 AM) A man was ordered by his doctor to lose 75 lbs. due to very serious health risks. As he wondered how in the heck he would ever do it, he ran across an ad in the newspaper for a GUARANTEED WEIGHT LOSS PROGRAM guaranteed. Yeah right!" he thought to himself. But desperate, he calls them up and subscribes to the 3-day/10 pound weight loss program. The next day there's a knock at his door, and when he answers, there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old young lady dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign round her neck. She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company. The sign reads, "If you can catch me, you can have me!" Without a second thought he takes off after her. A few miles later, huffing and puffing, he finally catches her and has his way with her. After they are through and she leaves, he thinks to himself, "I like the way this company does business!" The same girl shows up for the next two days and the same thing happens. On the fourth day, he weighs himself and is delighted to find he has lost 10lb as promised. He calls the company and orders their 5-day/ 20 pound program. The next day there's a knock at the door and there stands the most stunning, beautiful, sexy woman he has ever seen in his life, wearing nothing but Reebok running shoes and a sign around her neck that Reads, "If you catch me, you can have me!" He's out the door and after her like a shot. This girl is in excellent shape and it takes him a while to catch her, but when he does, it is worth every cramp and wheeze. For the next four days, the same routine happens. Much to his delight, on the fifth day, he weighs himself and found he has lost another 20 lbs. as promised. He decides to go for broke and calls the company to order the 7-day/50 pound program. "Are you sure?" asks the representative on the phone. "This is our most rigorous program." "Absolutely," he replies, "I haven't felt this good in years". The next day there's a knock at the door and when he opens it he finds a muscular guy standing there wearing nothing but pink running shoes and a sign around his neck that reads, "If I catch you, I can have you!" LMFAO. great. |
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Aug 12 2004, 11:07 AM
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#12
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Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 2,412 Joined: Feb 2004 Member No: 3,012 |
HAHAHA.
i need that. ;D |
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Aug 12 2004, 11:11 AM
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#13
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 Roses are red so r my cheeks! Group: Member Posts: 136 Joined: Jun 2004 Member No: 20,115 |
HAHA
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| *tyedyefroggy* |
Aug 12 2004, 11:16 AM
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#14
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Guest |
rotflmao........whoa....poor guy, but he lost some weight so I guess thats all good LoL
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Aug 12 2004, 11:49 AM
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#15
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 hi. call me linda. Group: Official Member Posts: 8,187 Joined: Feb 2004 Member No: 3,475 |
haah, wow. at least he lost some weight.
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Aug 12 2004, 12:26 PM
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#16
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 ranDUMB Group: Member Posts: 757 Joined: Jul 2004 Member No: 35,833 |
OoO, that's scary in the end...at least he lost 30 lbs.
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Aug 13 2004, 12:44 AM
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#17
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 Your love is a razorblade kiss ♥ Group: Member Posts: 1,794 Joined: Apr 2004 Member No: 9,959 |
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA i wud hate to b dat guy for the last program!
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Aug 13 2004, 01:28 AM
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#18
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 Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 1,989 Joined: Apr 2004 Member No: 10,691 |
Haha that was funny.
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Aug 13 2004, 03:20 PM
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#19
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I am Sandy. Hear me roar. Group: Member Posts: 1,152 Joined: May 2004 Member No: 15,896 |
lmfao, LOL, omg, that poor guy! but if the guy in pink running shoes was hot... hmm.... can i have the number?
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Aug 13 2004, 04:02 PM
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#20
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 Ne0 Is The One Group: Member Posts: 1,348 Joined: Jun 2004 Member No: 24,349 |
I read this joke somewhere else before. it so funny and yet, sad for the guy. I wonder if he caught him.
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Aug 13 2004, 04:36 PM
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#21
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 ilikeyouSofreakingmuch. Group: Member Posts: 2,014 Joined: Jan 2004 Member No: 643 |
LMAO xD
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Aug 13 2004, 05:03 PM
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#22
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 Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 94 Joined: Jul 2004 Member No: 29,621 |
haha poor guy !
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Aug 14 2004, 01:33 AM
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#23
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 memories echo the silence Group: Member Posts: 171 Joined: Jun 2004 Member No: 24,624 |
lmbo! that's great. yhanks! i needed a good laugh!
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| *Weird addiction* |
Aug 14 2004, 10:32 AM
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#24
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Guest |
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
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Aug 14 2004, 12:29 PM
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#25
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 s a r a h r o s e <3 Group: Member Posts: 575 Joined: Apr 2004 Member No: 12,944 |
LOL i feel really bad for that guy, shulda stuck with the 5 day program
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Aug 14 2004, 11:29 PM
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#26
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Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 1,384 Joined: Aug 2004 Member No: 37,337 |
lol just can't please obese men
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Aug 15 2004, 12:07 AM
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#27
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 when mary jane isn't around. Group: Member Posts: 435 Joined: Apr 2004 Member No: 12,525 |
lol omg that's funny.. i wonder what people were thinking as they saw a fat dude chasing a naked lady??
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Aug 15 2004, 12:34 AM
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#28
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 and they say imitation is flattering Group: Member Posts: 1,337 Joined: Jul 2004 Member No: 27,269 |
lol that's... interesting o.O
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Aug 15 2004, 04:28 AM
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#29
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 Hi! I'm Dani :) Group: Member Posts: 5,637 Joined: Feb 2004 Member No: 3,369 |
haha omfg that must b scary
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Aug 15 2004, 06:05 AM
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#30
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 ~Dandie Andie~ Group: Member Posts: 22 Joined: May 2004 Member No: 17,644 |
Lol that's funny!! Poor guy... >_<
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Aug 15 2004, 04:02 PM
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#31
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 Wife of Legolas Group: Member Posts: 1,290 Joined: Apr 2004 Member No: 10,190 |
oh the poor guy!
he should have stuck to the 5 day programs! |
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Aug 15 2004, 09:00 PM
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#32
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Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 214 Joined: Apr 2004 Member No: 14,404 |
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Aug 15 2004, 11:37 PM
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#33
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 chri$ Group: Member Posts: 1,014 Joined: Jul 2004 Member No: 29,284 |
haha, nice
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Aug 16 2004, 12:39 AM
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#34
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 BANNED Group: Member Posts: 2,419 Joined: Apr 2004 Member No: 14,387 |
LOL. I heard that on a hispanic comedy show a while ago . . . still funny though, lol.
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Aug 16 2004, 03:26 PM
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#35
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 Ah, mon Dieu ! Group: Member Posts: 2,274 Joined: May 2004 Member No: 16,587 |
 lmao aww... haha poor guy
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Aug 16 2004, 11:05 PM
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#36
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 green eyes ^-^ Group: Member Posts: 24 Joined: Jul 2004 Member No: 30,081 |
LOL!!!! i'm glad i read this joke!! hahahah poor guy!
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Aug 17 2004, 02:06 PM
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#37
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Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 1,384 Joined: Aug 2004 Member No: 37,337 |
i cud use sum excercise...
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Aug 17 2004, 02:07 PM
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#38
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 Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 215 Joined: Jul 2004 Member No: 26,839 |
that guy better run like hell
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