so, this f*cking hurts me., fb Options

[creole]

click to enlarge

i'm sick of being judged. i've had enough of holding back. i thought those two other people that replied back would be my friends, but apparently laughing at me is better. ok, this sounds like i'm overreacting, but if anyone could fit into my shoes, then at least you would feel a little bit sympathy. i don't know. i don't know who my friends are out of all my 539 friends. it sucks to see myself being critically hurt over this.. but i guess i'm the freakin victim again. i just wish the world could see the pain that everyone that's not "normal" go through and how much they judge them without even knowing them personally.



i thought there wouldn't be a thing like this that would come back again. but anything that's like this, i go back to my suicidal thoughts. i know more people in this world will not agree with my lifestyle and choices, but should we completely shun someone cause of this?

[tokyo-rose]

Um, I don't mean to be harsh, but reread what you wrote. Do you really believe that all of those 500+ people you have added care about you enough to sympathize? Teenagers are often cruel, and you should know that a Facebook add doesn't mean anything. I have so many classmates added for the sake of convenience in case I need to ask about classwork I've missed, and high school peers I haven't talked to since graduating. I only really talk to a select group of friends on Facebook, so that and being smart about my privacy are why I don't air things out like that, or even give anyone a chance to humiliate/otherwise harm me as such.

[Tomates]

I don't mean to be mean either, but I have you on facebook and some of the things you say on facebook isn't exactly kept hidden.

[creole]

i write things like that all the time. no one says anything, except for maybe wth and such. if people hated me so much for my posts, then they should just go ahead and block er delete me. i know that all of my friends wouldn't sympathize with me at a time like this since it's midnight, but it would have been nice to see at least someone stand up for me instead of having it the other way around. i'm a teenager, but i try my very best to not be cruel. i talked to my inner circle and they wish they could punch that guy with a brick right now, but it's kinda hard to not ignore him if i see him in the halls everyday.

[Tomates]

I know I know. But I guess the thing is that if you don't want people being cruel then hold back on what you say? That's the only way for idiots to stop being mean to you. But you say you don't want to hold back, so if you don't then you just have to deal with the cruelness i guess : \

[karmakiller]

Why are you adding people who don't even know if you're male or female? lol

[creole]

I know I know. But I guess the thing is that if you don't want people being cruel then hold back on what you say? That's the only way for idiots to stop being mean to you. But you say you don't want to hold back, so if you don't then you just have to deal with the cruelness i guess : \

yeah, i don't want to monitor and control what i have to say about how i feelz about my lifestyle. i'm not going to be a chameleon and suit myself to their likings. it's hard for me, and probably hard to the other millions of gay teenagers that are probably in situations like this. i wish i had powers to just change peoples' hearts and i wish i had super armor that would at least reduce the pain and paranoia i get from over thinking of what people say.

Why are you adding people who don't even know if you're male or female? lol

lol, i was testing to see what the mofo would do. i actually know the guy, cuz i went on a fieldtrip with him and he sat right behind me, and he was so f*cking annoying. he kept hitting me in the face and messing with me. but i'm more mad at those two other people just joining the bash wagon. at times like, it really shows the true colors of people, huh?

[karmakiller]

lol, i was testing to see what the mofo would do. i actually know the guy, cuz i went on a fieldtrip with him and he sat right behind me, and he was so f*cking annoying. he kept hitting me in the face and messing with me. but i'm more mad at those two other people just joining the bash wagon. at times like, it really shows the true colors of people, huh?

I see. I was wondering why you would add someone like that, or why they would add you. Honesty, though, I just think your friends thought that what you posted was meant to be laughed at.

[none345678]

Who told you people are loving, accepting, understanding creatures? They were wrong bro.

[creole]

I see. I was wondering why you would add someone like that, or why they would add you. Honesty, though, I just think your friends thought that what you posted was meant to be laughed at.

yeah, if they think being bashed on my gayness is humorous to them.

Who told you people are loving, accepting, understanding creatures? They were wrong bro.

Disney, LOL jk

[heyo-captain-jac...]

just scrolled over to my phone's facebook app, surprised to see that you're not the most recent post

[Mikeplyts]

I can agree with most of what has been already said. But, I also want to say that you don't necessarily have to hold back what you think or feel about yourself, your life, and/or your lifestyle to prevent being ridiculed, teased, taunted, etc. You need to learn how to do deal with shit, no matter how much of that shit you receive. I've done some stupid stuff before, I admit, and people have said some rather cruel, hurtful things to me about it. But, I don't view it as if I'm going to act depressed and hurt when people say things. Society is f*cked up, as all of you know. So, how do you think we're still talking to each other, making friends, and etc.? We just deal with the bullshit and stick to what's important. Is calling you a gay motherf*cking homo f****t necessarily determine how you want to act or who you want to be? No. And yeah, I might sound a bit irrational because I can't understand your perspective since I'm not homosexual/bisexual myself. But, does it really all matter in the end? Nah, bro.

Also, consider yourself lucky, because there are several countries that persecute or even execute those who are homosexual/bisexual. And besides, it's almost like you're just being kind of selfish. Maybe that guy isn't actually a bad guy, and he's had unfair or unjust things happen to him, too. He just doesn't know how to control his hatred/dislike. For example, I hate Twilight and everything about it, but I don't purposely rip off on those who do to make them feel like shit because 1) I'm better than that, 2) I can control the way I express what I agree or disagree, love or hate, like or dislike, etc., and 3) at the end of all the "cruelty" and "injustice", it won't make me any bigger or cooler than the person I'm ripping on.

I suggest just laughing at what these people say, because it just makes them seem immature and idiotic. Notice, I said they seem immature and idiotic, but they could actually not be. Chances are, if they don't know you personally, then you don't them personally either. So, brush your shoulders off, shrug, and move on.

[none345678]

What to you mean other places? Some gay guy is being beaten to death as we speak somewhere in the US. So is some black guy. and Chinese guy. and Mexican guy. and white guy. all because of some ignorant shit.

Beenly, you got a mean FB comment. Whoop de f*cking doo.

[Mikeplyts]

What to you mean other places? Some gay guy is being beaten to death as we speak somewhere in the US. So is some black guy. and Chinese guy. and Mexican guy. and white guy. all because of some ignorant shit.

I was legally speaking, but that works too.

[brooklyneast05]

dude, you did that to yourself. that whole thing is becuase you added someone who you already knew didn't like you otherwise that entire thing would have been prevented. i don't get why you want people to feel sorry for you when you went out of your way to mess with that dude and see what he would do...they need to grow up and so do you.

[tokyo-rose]

dude, you did that to yourself. that whole thing is becuase you added someone who you already knew didn't like you otherwise that entire thing would have been prevented. i don't get why you want people to feel sorry for you when you went out of your way to mess with that dude and see what he would do...they need to grow up and so do you.

Agreed. You're inviting provocation and attacks when you add someone who annoys you and you dislike. You really need to learn how to stop setting yourself up for embarrassment if you want to be happier.

[creole]

well i was just trying to be friends with him and just forget what happened in the past, but he got off because he wasn't pleased to see that i wasn't boxxy, and he probably read some of my previous wall posts. i didn't say anything towards him before this thing started, he just found a target to start up the situation. i hate playing as the victim, but anything i do now seems like i'm "letting myself a target". wtf am i suppose to say or do? anything i mention could mean a target for you guys, but the whole intention wasn't suppose to be a target.


for example;
me: hi guyz i just got back to a lady gaga concert and it was the awesomeness concert ever.
guy 1: f*g

[synapse]

dude, you did that to yourself. that whole thing is becuase you added someone who you already knew didn't like you otherwise that entire thing would have been prevented. i don't get why you want people to feel sorry for you when you went out of your way to mess with that dude and see what he would do...they need to grow up and so do you.

so true

[superstitious]

Beenly, you make me so sad sometimes. Why do you set yourself up for these things?:( It seems like with you, negative attention is better than no attention. I hope I'm wrong, that's just my observation of you at times.

[brooklyneast05]

wtf am i suppose to say or do?

how about not adding people who you know don't like you and that you find annoying

[Mikeplyts]

Oh yeah, I definitely agree with JC too.

Stop pushing yourself to be friends with those who don't like you. They'll usually either just ignore you, annoy you, and/or use you. They could actually try to be friends, but if they're as immature as that guy, I don't think they would.

You're smart and mature, right? Well, start acting like it. Don't let some douche bring you down.

[none345678]

Oh beanzy boy. You just can't let people get to you so f*cking easily. That's what is making you an easy target. You give them the reaction they want.

[creole]

alright, but my back problems and my left testicle aching doesn't really help right now, lol.

[tokyo-rose]

well i was just trying to be friends with him and just forget what happened in the past, but he got off because he wasn't pleased to see that i wasn't boxxy, and he probably read some of my previous wall posts. i didn't say anything towards him before this thing started, he just found a target to start up the situation. i hate playing as the victim, but anything i do now seems like i'm "letting myself a target". wtf am i suppose to say or do? anything i mention could mean a target for you guys, but the whole intention wasn't suppose to be a target.
for example;
me: hi guyz i just got back to a lady gaga concert and it was the awesomeness concert ever.
guy 1: f*g

What you shouldn't do is, as Abbey said, let him get a rise out of you. You know the secret behind bullies' provocation of their victims? The fact that most victims don't have tough enough skin and let mean people like the guy you added affect them so drastically. It'd be different if he had caught you off-guard in real life, but this is the Internet and you can think about what to say, or to just not respond at all--or, you know, delete his wall post? It's your Facebook, so do what you want with it to keep the haters out.

[creole]

well at first i wanted to keep the wall post, but i just deleted it now. i guess i should just start thinking positive. i only have 3 days of school left, so i have better things to be more concerned about like summer plans.

[tokyo-rose]

well at first i wanted to keep the wall post, but i just deleted it now. i guess i should just start thinking positive. i only have 3 days of school left, so i have better things to be more concerned about like summer plans.

That's more like it. IM me at changmin says if you need to reach out or just chat about other stuff!