how do i tell my mom that im gay... Options

[bhrama]

i have a problem...i have to tell my mom that im gay and that i've been havin an internet bf for the past three months and that in about two weeks he's comin here to see me and that he's also five years older than me... what do i do!!?? im reallly close to my mom and i really dont wanna lie to her... im afraid that if i do tell her she wont let me see him..i could always tell her just part of the story, that im meetin up with a "friend" and he's only stayin here for a short period of time....but then later on i'd have to tell her the truth and come out to her to what really happened, i dont want it to get to this point cuz then she might not trust me anymore...shes always tellin me her stuff, and she said that since she tells me alll her stuff i shouldnt be afraid to tell her all my stuff....im very confused!

[DrEaMgUy2K1]

u havve a very rare situation ..... =/

[inlonelinessidie]

I know how you feel babe. This has happened in my family, so here's all you gotta do; tell her. It's that simple just bring it up. Be like "Mom have you noticed that I don't have a girlfriend?" I'm sure she'll understand and no matter what she'll always love you.
BTW: Careful with the whole online dating thing.

Take care and I'm sure it'll all work out.

[idllyic-serenity]

just go up to her and tell her wat was happening and she'll understand! shes ur mom and she'll love u no matter wat!

good luck!

[DrEaMgUy2K1]

u can tell her now or u can tell her later, i think the sooner you tell her the quicker the awkwardness and "drama" would be done with, and if shes loves u she'd still love you.

[xsweetdreams12x]

Tell her that you're gay, and then later tell her that an online friend is coming up to visit. Don't worry. She won't disown you. She's your Mom and will love you no matter what.

Good luck!!

[babixlilac]

jus tell her straight out dat ur gay..she prolly understand

[bhrama]

inlonelinessidie Posted on Jul 16 2004, 8:49 PM
  I know how you feel babe. This has happened in my family, so here's all you gotta do; tell her. It's that simple just bring it up. Be like "Mom have you noticed that I don't have a girlfriend?" I'm sure she'll understand and no matter what she'll always love you.
BTW: Careful with the whole online dating thing.

Take care and I'm sure it'll all work out. 

hmmm that sounds so simple but yet so hard...i'll try...somethin like this happened in ur family?? even the whole online thing?

[xpiixeespriitx]

okay, ive never had an experience like this but... have you heard of the show will and grace? will was gay an dhis best friend<grace> wasnt and it was really hard to tell her b/c they told each other everything. but when he did she was very surprised, but she understood, and she helped him through it, and it even brought them closer.. now i know this sint TV, but it relates... like i too am really close to my mom and when i thnk abt when i get older and im ready to have sex i wonder how in the hell am i suppose to tell her that? but you just gotta get her in a good relaxed mood, and just explain to her how you feel, and shell kno how hard it is for u and help u throug it, and also how important it is to u that she supports u. be very grateful u have a mom like that!

i hope i could help, and more advide id be more than happy to help, emial me at beachbum089@hotmail.com

britt

[inlonelinessidie]

hmmm that sounds so simple but yet so hard...i'll try...somethin like this happened in ur family?? even the whole online thing?

lol not the online thing silly. The whole "coming out of the closet" thing . . . yes many times. We're one gay familly . . . in all aspects of the word.

[defjam_gangsta]

Greetings!!

it's okeyz for ya to explore ya 'sexual behaviour' but dis online thingy has it risks too. so do take care on tat one. anyway, tell ya momma. dun make it awkward though. she's gonna have another shock of her life just like da same kind of shock when she found out her husband got her pregnant!! okok. j/k aight. but on da brighter side of things, at least ya being honest and truthfully. i know da truth hurts at times. but it's better than to being in denial right?! all da best aight?!

CHEERS CB!!

[islandkiss]

well, since you're close to her won't it be easier to tell her this?.. just tell her how you feel about him.. let him meet your mom..

[oOjenniOo]

tell her cause being gay isn't like a crime

and two, you shouldn't have an internet date...

[GyrL_wit_da_KuRL...]

i think im prolly gonna b the only wun that seys this buh hurr goes lolz...i think u shoudlnt tell..i mean u should egde around tha subject buh just not cum out lik dhat...i mean i bet half the pplz dat sed ur parents will still lub u..R NOT GAY....i mean cuz im just seeyin...they still will..but that doesnt mean theyll act alot diff about it.....i noe wut ur goin threw..i mean nott the online thing but to cummin out 2 my parent thing....and jeah im les...and my parents hate me fo it...my mom and i were sooooo close....lik we did terr tyng together..and she found out bout me and errr tyng changed..i mean im not seyyin this happens to err body....mayb ur mom ish mo under standin bout myne isnt..i just wish i woulda ask her how she felt bout it..b4 it came out....and now my mom wont let me do NE TYNG....and she inspcets all my frens of the female gender..so jeah....tak it slow..dont just tell her lik err wun else ish seyyin...u might regret it...sry i just wanted ta b honest..cuz jeah...i think ur right to b scared er nervous...tak it slow i hope that err tyng goes good fer you....i was tynkin da bezt approach ish just to ask her how she feels about gay in genaral...iite payyce..

-ashley

[inthemudhole]

Alright, either hint around until she finally gets it, or just sit her down and start the conversation off with, "Mom, I need to tell you something rather important, so please hear me out" or something like that.

With the online thing.. be careful.. lots of times those things just backfire.

[Retrogressive]

she is the most important person in your life right now, and you need to be true to yourself about your feelings. She deserves to know who you are and you deserve to be able to be free about who you are.

[lAzN YiN YanGl]

i think im prolly gonna b the only wun that seys this buh hurr goes lolz...i think u shoudlnt tell..i mean u should egde around tha subject buh just not cum out lik dhat...i mean i bet half the pplz dat sed ur parents will still lub u..R NOT GAY....i mean cuz im just seeyin...they still will..but that doesnt mean theyll act alot diff about it.....i noe wut ur goin threw..i mean nott the online thing but to cummin out 2 my parent thing....and jeah im les...and my parents hate me fo it...my mom and i were sooooo close....lik we did terr tyng together..and she found out bout me and errr tyng changed..i mean im not seyyin this happens to err body....mayb ur mom ish mo under standin bout myne isnt..i just wish i woulda ask her how she felt bout it..b4 it came out....and now my mom wont let me do NE TYNG....and she inspcets all my frens of the female gender..so jeah....tak it slow..dont just tell her lik err wun else ish seyyin...u might regret it...sry i just wanted ta b honest..cuz jeah...i think ur right to b scared er nervous...tak it slow i hope that err tyng goes good fer you....i was tynkin da bezt approach ish just to ask her how she feels about gay in genaral...iite payyce..

-ashley

i agree!!! i talked to my mom about gay ppl before because she asked what i did in school n i said we talked about gay ppl in s.s and then she started saying oh gay ppl are wrong (no offense) n she was yellin at me that if i was gay she would disown me...so yeah it all depends on your parents and what u should do is go slowly n just be all...hey mom what do u think about gay peepo? n then if its a good answer then tell her but if she says somethin really mean, ignore it, dont tell her cause its none of her buisness your sexuality, n then go hav sum fun with the guy ^_^

[jarnifer]

i think that you should wait till you're financially independent before you come our to your family...believe me...even though you are close with your mother...you may never know her reactions...since she loves you so much...she might react PRETTY BAD to your sexual orientation...and i don't think it's gonna kill you if you keep it a secret for awhile...(tho it might feel like ur lying to the closest person you're with all the time)

[sammi rules you]

i think im prolly gonna b the only wun that seys this buh hurr goes lolz...i think u shoudlnt tell..i mean u should egde around tha subject buh just not cum out lik dhat...i mean i bet half the pplz dat sed ur parents will still lub u..R NOT GAY....i mean cuz im just seeyin...they still will..but that doesnt mean theyll act alot diff about it.....i noe wut ur goin threw..i mean nott the online thing but to cummin out 2 my parent thing....and jeah im les...and my parents hate me fo it...my mom and i were sooooo close....lik we did terr tyng together..and she found out bout me and errr tyng changed..i mean im not seyyin this happens to err body....mayb ur mom ish mo under standin bout myne isnt..i just wish i woulda ask her how she felt bout it..b4 it came out....and now my mom wont let me do NE TYNG....and she inspcets all my frens of the female gender..so jeah....tak it slow..dont just tell her lik err wun else ish seyyin...u might regret it...sry i just wanted ta b honest..cuz jeah...i think ur right to b scared er nervous...tak it slow i hope that err tyng goes good fer you....i was tynkin da bezt approach ish just to ask her how she feels about gay in genaral...iite payyce..

-ashley

psst, i dont think he can understand a word in there cause i cant..

anyway..i think you should tell her. youll feel guilty and as if youre sneaking around if you dont. but, let it out slowly. start with something like "have you been noticing anything..different about me lately?" or something..try to make her guess first, cause she might have noticed something about your attitude and such. if not, then just come out and say it like "mom, im sorry, but im gay. if you cant accept that, its your loss." or something..try to make it seem like shes not losing you because youre gay, shes gaining another part of you. you cant help the fact that youre gay, and it shouldnt be a bad thing. its not. its just who you are.

[mistahpho]

psh,what a rare situation.but yeah tell her

[whywasisostupid]

just tell her, if she loves you, she wuldnt care wut u r...
good luck with ur date...

[sheepy]

well if she really loves you [which she does] she'll jjust accpet dt fact dat ur gay and still keep on loving you for WHO you are.

[straightedge9]

contrary to what other people are saying, i doubt very much that your mom will 'disown' you just because you're gay. theres absolutly nothing wrong with that...it's your choice, not hers. your mom will love you no matter what!

online dating?? errrr not such a good idea. you don't know what this person could really be like...

[lAzN YiN YanGl]

ahh another idea...get "some" and run away? haha jkjk but i sitll stand by what i said because no matter how close you are, sometimes ppl will just break and say things they dont mean to...

[xXbabi_gangstaXx]

Be like "Mom have you noticed that I don't have a girlfriend?" I'm sure she'll understand and no matter what she'll always love you.
BTW: Careful with the whole online dating thing.

i agree, n i don't think she'll be pissed at u but she will b really shocked

[mouse_3k]

hmm if i was gay, i would say this


"mom, u love me right? even if i had a birth defect or was gay or something like tht right? (((the mom should say yes by now))). well mom...im gay"

somethin like tht. wow, i probably didnt help u at all huh?

[literemix24]

i dink you should juss tell her..i mean shes ur mom 'nd she loves you. I'm pretty sure that she'll love you no matter wut..Oh 'nd like inlonelinessidie sed..becareful wif online dating..XP

[DrEaMgUy2K1]

i have a problem...i have to tell my mom that im gay and that i've been havin an internet bf for the past three months and that in about two weeks he's comin here to see me and that he's also five years older than me... what do i do!!?? im reallly close to my mom and i really dont wanna lie to her... im afraid that if i do tell her she wont let me see him..i could always tell her just part of the story, that im meetin up with a "friend" and he's only stayin here for a short period of time....but then later on i'd have to tell her the truth and come out to her to what really happened, i dont want it to get to this point cuz then she might not trust me anymore...shes always tellin me her stuff, and she said that since she tells me alll her stuff i shouldnt be afraid to tell her all my stuff....im very confused!

god people....look at when this thread was posted......im pretty sure he dealt with his problem by now...

[ComradeRed]

i have a problem...i have to tell my mom that im gay and that i've been havin an internet bf for the past three months and that in about two weeks he's comin here to see me and that he's also five years older than me... what do i do!!?? im reallly close to my mom and i really dont wanna lie to her... im afraid that if i do tell her she wont let me see him..i could always tell her just part of the story, that im meetin up with a "friend" and he's only stayin here for a short period of time....but then later on  i'd have to tell her the truth and come out to her to what really happened, i dont want it to get to this point cuz then she might not trust me anymore...shes always tellin me her stuff, and she said that since she tells me alll her stuff i shouldnt be afraid to tell her all my stuff....im very confused!

Say you have Reverse Oedipus Complex and threatend to kill your mom.

[scandalous_chic]

.

[Counting]

She'll probably just be surprised, but mom's love you no matter what the circumstances are.

[[i]LLMATiC]

she prollie wont b surprised. i mean shes ur mom. most moms knoe stuff like that. cuz if uv nevr had a gf or ne thing like that. then yea shell think somethings up.

[Devastation]

I know how you feel babe. This has happened in my family, so here's all you gotta do; tell her. It's that simple just bring it up. Be like "Mom have you noticed that I don't have a girlfriend?" I'm sure she'll understand and no matter what she'll always love you.
BTW: Careful with the whole online dating thing.

Take care and I'm sure it'll all work out.

great response

[sweetdreamsx3]

I know how you feel babe. This has happened in my family, so here's all you gotta do; tell her. It's that simple just bring it up. Be like "Mom have you noticed that I don't have a girlfriend?" I'm sure she'll understand and no matter what she'll always love you.
BTW: Careful with the whole online dating thing.

Take care and I'm sure it'll all work out.

Couldn't have said it any better...

[captured_serenit...]

talk to them about the situtation but talk to them about what they think about the subject and then you have to break it to them gently they will always love you no matter what so they should support you.

[xoxspanky569]

i think you should tell her, because if you don't and she finds out she's going to be mad that you hid it from her. I don't think she will be mad that you are gay, unless she is a very ignorant person. And if she is she's just going to have to accept who you are. Also, internet relationships can be a tad risky...it's extremely easy to lie about things on the internet, so please just be careful. I'm sure things will work out the way they are intended to. Good luck.

xox Spanky

[DavidxN]

break it to her slowly, first tell her u have a friend comin over, and let her get to know him and like him then u tell her later that you're gay and then tell her later that you're seein him then later tell her u guys met online

[luckyxi3]

i think you should just tell your mom straight up... she seems pretty cool so i`m pretty sure she`ll accept you for who you are... if you wait longer to tell her things then it might come to its worst...