I have a PayPal., Give me money. Options

[Maccabee]

Hello CreateBlog.

I got a PayPal, and I would like some money for it. I am a Jew and I like money very much, honestly. I don't want to lie and say that my parents are dead and that I don't have cancer. Just a few dollars would be nice. It's not much. It's the least you can do after all the years of ridicule and hate. If I will be completely honest, if I am given 2.99$ or more I most likely buy a custom mousepad. In case you are interested, there is a very large thread on the poplar website facepunch.com filled with happy customers who bought the same, said mousepad. Also, the reason I say most likely, is because in the even that I am unable to spend said money, or I change my mind on which direction my money is spent, I don't want to be liar. Thank you for your time.

-Sincerely
Joseph

You can send money using the following email:
josephbc95@gmail.com

Please enjoy this photo of me with my dog, taken for this special occasion.

click to enlarge

Also, incase you were wondering the hat is covering some bad acne on my forehead, and with a little money I will be able to afford treatment for it. Ok, the not being able to afford it was a lie, but I do have acne on my forehead, and one large zit on my cheek as you can see.

[Mikeplyts]

I'd need to be more persuaded, or intimated, to complete such a task.

[karmakiller]

Get a job.

[Maccabee]

Get a job.

I would if I could.
I really want a job but i'm not old enough...

[Tung]

old trick is old.

i mean....



...............

[brooklyneast05]

i'm pretty sure nobody is gonna give you money like they did with tung.

[Maccabee]

What if I post newds?

[none345678]

I would if I could.
I really want a job but i'm not old enough...

CoeHoe there are 8 year olds making Nikes right now. Go join them.

[Maccabee]

CoeHoe there are 8 year olds making Nikes right now. Go join them.

I would if I could. But I live in America.

[shawtiegotem]

I would if I could.
I really want a job but i'm not old enough...

ANYBODY can get a job.

[Maccabee]

ANYBODY can get a job.

At 16. Correct.
I'm 14.

[karmakiller]

I was working when I was 14.

Maybe you should go cut people's lawns or work construction or something.

[Maccabee]

I do, dog sit, but business is low right now. And all my rich neighbors just pay mexicans to cut their lawns. And my parents don't give me money. No one has give me any money...

I just want two dollars!

[heyo-captain-jac...]

Looks like prostitution is your only option.

[Tung]

collect like 40 cans and you get $2.

[karmakiller]

Looks like prostitution is your only option.

Business will probably be low, just like every other money making option.

Pickpocket?

[Maccabee]

Business will probably be low, just like every other money making option.

Pickpocket?

I would love to be a pickpocket, living in england in the 30's.

Looks like prostitution is your only option.

wheres that custom mousepad thread on facepunch?

Also, all the proceedings, will be donated.

Also, should I test my luck and post this on facepunch, or will that get me banned?

[heyo-captain-jac...]

Depends on where you post it. It will get you banned in GD. It will get you spammed/assf*cked in OIFY. You might be able to get away with it in fast threads, but the mods in that section are pretty nazi.
Maybe The Endgame, but you wouldn't have the proper permissions to get in there.

I don't know where the thread is, but here is the link to the site that had them: http://www.artsnow.com/promote/details.aspx

I'm banned on FP until saturday so I can't do any searches.

[Maccabee]

Lol. Shouldn't have spammed you foo.

[heyo-captain-jac...]

Nearly everyone who posted in the thread got banned. Dragon decided to cull people following the rules of the thread.

The thread was meant to be the fastest auto-lock ever (aka everyone posting as rapidly as possible, post content optional), and it succeeded.

I got a "2000 get" and got banned for it.

[Tomates]

go work the corner you lazy son of a bitch.

-sincerely
Natalie

[heyo-captain-jac...]

Now this is a story, all about how
my life got flipped, turned upside-down,
And I'd like to take a minute,
So just sit right there,
I'll tell you how I became the prince of a town called Bel-Air

In West Philadelphia, born and raised,
On the playground is where Ii spent most of my days
Chillin out, maxin', relaxin' all cool,
And all shootin some b-ball outside of the school
When a couple of guys, who were up to no good,
Started makin' trouble in my neighborhood,
I got in one little fight and my mom got scared
She said 'You're movin with your auntie and uncle in Bel-Air!'

I begged and pleeded with day after day
But she packed my suitcase and sent me and my
She gave me a kiss
And then she gave me my ticket
I put my Walkman on and said 'Might as well kick it!'

First class
Yo this is bad
Drinkin orange juice out of a champaine glass
Is this what the people in Bel-Air livin like?
Hmm...this might be alright

But wait I hear the prissy,
Bushwa and all that
Is this the kind of place that they just send this cool cat?
i don't think so
I'll see when I get there
I hope they're prepared
for the Prince of Bel-Air!

Well I,
The plane landed and when I came out
There was a dude,looked like a cop,
standin there with my name out
I ain't tryin to get arrested yet
I just got here
I sprang with the quickness
and like lightening dissappeared

I whistled for a cab and when it came near
The license plate said 'Fresh'
And had dice in the mirror
If anything I could say that this cab was rare
But I thought 'Nah, forget it - Yo, homes to Bel-Air!'

I pulled up to a house about seven or eight,
I yelled to the cabbie 'Yo homes, smell ya later!'
I looked at my kingdom,
I was finally there!
To sit on my throne as the prince of Bel-Air!

[Maccabee]

Still no money.

Jerks.

[Tomates]

Still no money.

Jerks.

go work the corner you lazy son of a bitch.

-sincerely
Natalie

[synapse]

It would have had to be more heartfelt, or simply asking without lying. Sorry, no thomas moneyz for you. :P

[Maccabee]

It would have had to be more heartfelt, or simply asking without lying. Sorry, no thomas moneyz for you. :P

Darn. You were the only person, I was betting I would get any money out of. I though you would give me 5 bucks.

Here, I'll edit the OP and make it more heartfelt and take out the lies.

[none345678]

I'd need to be more persuaded, or intimated, to complete such a task.

is that Prince? lol

[Maccabee]

Edited OP.

[creole]

You know, if you stop spending so much time on the computer, maybe you can raise some few bucks. Why don't you just go to the bank and make a loan of "2 dollars" LOL.

[Maccabee]

Not even a penny for a poor boy like me...

[Blyat]

Looks like prostitution is your only option.

Prostitution paying rates go up during holidays, especially 4th of July

....just a little FYI Jcpenny

[tokyo-rose]

Wow, you're desperate, huh?

[Maccabee]

Wow, you're desperate, huh?

Yes. Please. Just give me 3 dollars.

[brooklyneast05]

i don't get all the jew shit

[Maccabee]

Lol, I couldn't have done this worse.

[brooklyneast05]

there's not a good way for you to do it though really

[Maccabee]

Honestly, I was expecting to get at least a dollar.

[brooklyneast05]

i don't know why you would even expect that...you're asking for money for no reason. not even thomas feels for you enough to give you a dollar. that's saying something, he even gave money to spencer and i can't think of anyone who has gotten along less than thomas and spencer.

[Maccabee]

i don't know why you would even expect that...you're asking for money for no reason. not even thomas feels for you enough to give you a dollar. that's saying something, he even gave money to spencer and i can't think of anyone who has gotten along less than thomas and spencer.

Exactly, they have a relationship. It's just a bad one. I just troll him.

[brooklyneast05]

you troll thomas?

[Maccabee]

Are you asking Thomas if he is a troll?

[brooklyneast05]

no. you said you troll him. i'm asking if you just said you troll thomas.

[Maccabee]

no. you said you troll him. i'm asking if you just said you troll thomas.

That is what I said.

[brooklyneast05]

how do you troll him

[none345678]

STOP PICKING ON LITTLE KIDS JC.

[brooklyneast05]

NO YOU

[Maccabee]

PLEASE SEND ME SOME MUNEEZ.

[Blyat]

What about go mow someones lawn
Shovel snow (if you live in a winter environment)
sell your body
clean my closet

Instead of begging since it seems like if you own an i-touch your not poor or anything to be begging from strangers and starving college students

[Maccabee]

I'll clean your closet.

I'll clean more then your closet if you want me to.

[rnicron]

hey tung, how much money did you make from your thread?

[Mikeplyts]

is that Prince? lol

Yes, that pimp-slapper would be the infamous Prince (the singer, that is).



Also, Joseph, you do have internet, no? I'm sure there's plenty of online job shit you could get involved with. Hell, you design, so why not set up a design business? I sometimes wonder why some people don't recognize some of the most simplest things.

[creole]

I'll clean your closet.

I'll clean more then your closet if you want me to.

suuuuuuuuuuuuck my diiiick.


then i'll give you 20 pennies.

[synapse]

hey tung, how much money did you make from your thread?

You made more.




Joseph, I give to people with a legitimate cause.

[Maccabee]

Yes, that pimp-slapper would be the infamous Prince (the singer, that is).
Also, Joseph, you do have internet, no? I'm sure there's plenty of online job shit you could get involved with. Hell, you design, so why not set up a design business? I sometimes wonder why some people don't recognize some of the most simplest things.

How so? If I set up my own personal thing, the odds of it becoming successful are slim, but if there is a site out there, for people like me, then plz by all means tell me.

You made more.
Joseph, I give to people with a legitimate cause.

What is a legitimate cause?

[synapse]

What is a legitimate cause?

Well the three that I've given to are: winning a paid design contest, someone in financial hardship, and a wedding donation.

[Maccabee]

Well the three that I've given to are: winning a paid design contest, someone in financial hardship, and a wedding donation.

I'm having financial hardship, because I'm having a wedding. Care to help?

[synapse]

I'm having financial hardship, because I'm having a wedding. Care to help?

ha ha.

[synapse]

In addition, I'm not sure if it's legal to give money to you, cause you're 14.

[Maccabee]

In addition, I'm not sure if it's legal to give money to you, cause you're 14.

It's completely legal. It's legal for me to have a paypal, and one of the features of paypal, is receiving money. therefore it's legal. I just need twee dawllas.

[heyo-captain-jac...]

It's legal for me to have a paypal

No it isn't. You're violating Paypal's terms of service.

[Maccabee]

No it isn't. You're violating Paypal's terms of service.

How so?
It's also illegal for me to do half the things I do on the computer.

[karmakiller]

To be eligible for our Services, you must be at least 18 years old and a resident of the United States or one of the countries listed on the PayPal WorldWide page. This Agreement applies only to Users who are residents of the United States. If you are a resident of another country, you may access your agreement from our website in your country (if applicable).

soooo you're not even asking for donations for yourself, you're asking for donations for the person whose credit card you used.

[synapse]

soooo you're not even asking for donations for yourself, you're asking for donations for the person whose credit card you used.

Or put a non actual DOB.

[creole]

soooo you're not even asking for donations for yourself, you're asking for donations for the person whose credit card you used.

owned

[Mikeplyts]

Um, yeah, no need to bother with this anymore, right Joseph?

[Maccabee]

soooo you're not even asking for donations for yourself, you're asking for donations for the person whose credit card you used.

Nah, I have a debit card.

[Mikeplyts]

Nah, I have a debit card.

But technically, it's not really yours. You're underage so that means you would had to have like an adult co-signer to even get your debit card, or let alone your bank account. You also probably have some kind of limit to how much you can spend and/or retrieve.

[creole]

But technically, it's not really yours. You're underage so that means you would had to have like an adult co-signer to even get your debit card, or let alone your bank account. You also probably have some kind of limit to how much you can spend and/or retrieve.

ohai critical thinker.



if yah really want money, why dont u do online surveys or whateva

[rnicron]

i have a chacha guide account. if someone wants to answer questions, i'll gladly accept all the money you make.

[Maccabee]

But technically, it's not really yours. You're underage so that means you would had to have like an adult co-signer to even get your debit card, or let alone your bank account. You also probably have some kind of limit to how much you can spend and/or retrieve.

Nope.
Nope.
Nope.

[Mikeplyts]

Nope.
Nope.
Nope.

Yep.
Yep.
Yep.


Is this is a game? If so, I don't like it.

[Maccabee]

10/10
WOULD READ AGAIN!

[brooklyneast05]

wtf

[heyo-captain-jac...]

JOSEPH YOU SUCK AT THIS

[brooklyneast05]

JOSEPH YOU SUCK AT THIS

for real. this is probably the dumbest thread i've read on cb in a long time. when i read the replies in here i feel sorry for you. i seriously don't believe you're as douchy as you try to be lately. people used to give you a hard time before, but you really weren't that bad. what happened? bring back the old joseph.

[heyo-captain-jac...]

for real. this is probably the dumbest thread i've read on cb in a long time. when i read the replies in here i feel sorry for you. i seriously don't believe you're as douchy as you try to be lately. people used to give you a hard time before, but you really weren't that bad. what happened? bring back the old joseph.

He started visiting /g/. Now he's spewing out /g/ memes at innappropriate times.

[creole]

[Maccabee]

He started visiting /g/. Now he's spewing out /g/ memes at innappropriate times.

That's what makes it so funn...
nvm.

JOSEPH YOU SUCK AT THIS

I know.

SOMEONE JUST SEND ME MONEY!

Still, I do believe that was in context.

for real. this is probably the dumbest thread i've read on cb in a long time. when i read the replies in here i feel sorry for you. i seriously don't believe you're as douchy as you try to be lately. people used to give you a hard time before, but you really weren't that bad. what happened? bring back the old joseph.

But yall hated the old Joseph, so I'm just acting like an underage b&.

[none345678]

Still, I do believe that was in context.
But yall hated the old Joseph, so I'm just acting like an underage b&.

your acting like a wanna be CJ, tbh.

[brooklyneast05]

your acting like a wanna be CJ, tbh.

[sixfive]

your acting like a wanna be CJ, tbh.

[synapse]

your acting like a wanna be CJ, tbh.

[superstitious]

Your avatar reminds me of Ethan from the show Lost.

And sorry, no money for you. I'm already tapped out on people to buy things for and give money to. ;)

[creole]

ohi jcp

[Maccabee]

your acting like a wanna be CJ, tbh.

No, I think you have boards.4chan.org/g/ to blame for that.
just go to it. Everything is (most of the time) SFW.

ohi jcp

Are you
>implying
that, that looks like me?

[creole]

that thing is u and acts like u

[heyo-captain-jac...]

>implying

innappropriate times.

.

[Maccabee]

that thing is u and acts like u

Who is it?

[creole]

andrew woods. y

[Maccabee]

For 3 bucks, I will post a picture of myself shirtless, with my crotch hair hanging out of the top of my pants.

[brooklyneast05]

it's more likely that people would pay you 3 dollars for you NOT to do that

[Maccabee]

Ok. Pay me 3 dollars, or I will post that picture tomorrow at midnight. I'm not joking.

[Mikeplyts]

I donated $5.

[Maccabee]

I donated $5.

You're lying. You gonna see my crotch hair.

[Mikeplyts]

Hm, took 6 minutes for you to respond. I'd thought it'd be around 2 or so.

[Maccabee]

Hm, took 6 minutes for you to respond. I'd thought it'd be around 2 or so.

Come again?

[fixtatik]

I'll give you $200.

[Maccabee]

I'll give you $200.

Thanks.

[synapse]

Please tell me she's joking.

[Maccabee]

Please tell me she's joking.

She? Oi, I assumed fixtatik was a boy.
And nope, you should send some too.