Need a female opinion |
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 Dec 9 2009, 04:48 AM
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#1
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Member  Group: Member Posts: 12 Joined: Dec 2009 Member No: 754,801  |
Let's say my name is John, and the name of my ex-girlfriend is Jane.
I am currently 22 years old, and Jane is 19 years of age. We dated for about ten months, and broke up about four months ago. The last time I ever saw and spoke to her was the 2nd of September, 2009. She was the first person I gave myself to, and vice versa. We really loved each other, and I still continue to do so to this very day, although she may have moved on. During the time that we were dating, we decided to keep a 'journal.' We would write it in everyday, or try to, about whatever we want and would give it to each other as a gift for our one year (which we never made). I'm pretty sure she stopped writing in it after we broke up, but I still continue to write in my journal. I write about how much I miss her, reminisce on our memories, jot down lyrics and poems about love and heart break, and so on. I want to stop writing in it after the journal fills up to the very last page, and use it as some symbolic meaning of 'closure.' I do need to move on, and stop living everyday based on my past memories. I don't know if I will ever give the journal to Jane or not but if I ever were to... My real question to the ladies: how would you feel if you were Jane and randomly received a journal one day? Would you read it? Would you laugh at it and think of John as some pathetic being? would you be flattered? What would your initial thoughts be? |
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Dec 9 2009, 05:13 AM
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#2
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Member Group: Member Posts: 12 Joined: Dec 2009 Member No: 754,801 |
How would I be putting her in an "awkward position"? We never talk anymore, and most likely would never encounter each other again. I don't understand how she could be placed in such a position.
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Dec 9 2009, 05:15 AM
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#3
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 Pocketful of Sunshine Group: Staff Alumni Posts: 8,690 Joined: Nov 2005 Member No: 289,004 |
QUOTE(Sriracha @ Dec 9 2009, 02:13 AM)  How would I be putting her in an "awkward position"? We never talk anymore, and most likely would never encounter each other again. I don't understand how she could be placed in such a position. You contradicted yourself there. That totally makes it awkward. |
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Dec 9 2009, 05:59 AM
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#4
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 Senior Member Group: Staff Alumni Posts: 4,665 Joined: Aug 2008 Member No: 676,364 |
Ok, The journal thing is kinda cute, but seriously -- that's maybe one of the reasons why Jane broke up with John.
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Dec 9 2009, 06:37 AM
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#5
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 ‹(. .)› Group: Official Member Posts: 2,367 Joined: Jun 2004 Member No: 20,089 |
QUOTE(Beenly @ Dec 9 2009, 12:59 AM) Ok, The journal thing is kinda cute, but seriously -- that's maybe one of the reasons why Jane broke up with John. i concur. |
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Dec 9 2009, 07:21 AM
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#6
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Member Group: Member Posts: 12 Joined: Dec 2009 Member No: 754,801 |
QUOTE(iDecay @ Dec 9 2009, 05:15 AM) You contradicted yourself there. That totally makes it awkward. You obviously don't get it. No, I did not contradict myself in my prior post. If Jane and I were continually talking as friends and I suddenly gave her the journal, then that would proceed to place her in an uncomfortable situation. However, Jane doesn't have to worry about reading it and feeling uncomfortable whenever she sees/talks to me because, as a matter of a fact, we don't see nor talk to each other anymore. Understand my point of view? |
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Dec 9 2009, 07:22 AM
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#7
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Member Group: Member Posts: 12 Joined: Dec 2009 Member No: 754,801 |
QUOTE(Beenly @ Dec 9 2009, 05:59 AM) Ok, The journal thing is kinda cute, but seriously -- that's maybe one of the reasons why Jane broke up with John. Care to elaborate more on that post? |
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Dec 9 2009, 09:24 AM
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#8
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Pocketful of Sunshine Group: Staff Alumni Posts: 8,690 Joined: Nov 2005 Member No: 289,004 |
QUOTE(Sriracha @ Dec 9 2009, 04:21 AM) You obviously don't get it. No, I did not contradict myself in my prior post. If Jane and I were continually talking as friends and I suddenly gave her the journal, then that would proceed to place her in an uncomfortable situation. However, Jane doesn't have to worry about reading it and feeling uncomfortable whenever she sees/talks to me because, as a matter of a fact, we don't see nor talk to each other anymore. Understand my point of view? You were asking for an opinion and I stated it. |
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Dec 9 2009, 12:03 PM
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#9
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 poison Group: Official Member Posts: 4,806 Joined: Mar 2008 Member No: 629,020 |
If i were Jane and if i received the journal i would feel awkward and a little...i dont know "creeped" out?
If she was the one who broke up with you, then she had a reason for breaking up with you and would probably feel very uneasy if she received a journal filled up like that. |
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Dec 9 2009, 01:32 PM
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#10
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 Senior Member Group: Human Posts: 525 Joined: Nov 2008 Member No: 695,913 |
im a dude who went through something similiar, and the way it was explained to me by people was that if you send her this journal . . . it shows your still thinking about her. If she has moved on she does not want to be brought back into those old memories. I say finish it for your own closure, but keep it to yourself .. because something tells me that by sending this to her you are hoping it sparks something in her head to maybe rekindle things with you . . . if that's true please dont because you will just end up getting hurt again.
Good Luck though Stay Up -1- Subliminal |
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Dec 9 2009, 02:34 PM
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#11
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Senior Member Group: Staff Alumni Posts: 4,665 Joined: Aug 2008 Member No: 676,364 |
QUOTE(Sriracha @ Dec 9 2009, 05:22 AM) Care to elaborate more on that post? What's there to elaborate? If I was in Jane's position, I would feel freaked out. You know why? Because having to receive a journal that was written during the relationship brings back memories. Some could be romantic and charming, but others don't fit well with what's happening right now. Bottom line -- Jane moved on. Having John tell her that his feelings do exist still is really sincere, but having a journal as a symbol of the past relationship isn't that rewarding for John. John needs to stop living in the past and realize that if he really does Jane, he should leave her alone. Things happen for a reason. John will find the perfect girl when the time is right. |
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Dec 9 2009, 09:44 PM
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#12
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 i like boobies, yes I do. I like boobies - how 'bout you? Group: Member Posts: 620 Joined: Jun 2008 Member No: 662,457 |
Clearly she's moved on. If I was her and I'd moved on, I would definitely NOT want a journal full of a years ramblings about your feelings for me. It'd probably be the most awkward thing I could imagine post-breakup.
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Dec 9 2009, 09:48 PM
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#13
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 Sarcastic Mr. Know-It-All Group: Staff Alumni Posts: 2,089 Joined: Dec 2003 Member No: 29 |
Write creepy shit in it. Like, "I watch you when you're on the toilet. I revel in the sound of your farts." You'll have her back in no time.
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Dec 9 2009, 10:00 PM
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#14
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 DDR \\ I'm Dee :) Group: Mentor Posts: 8,662 Joined: Mar 2006 Member No: 384,020 |
Burn it and move on.
You're lucky that you don't have to see her and deal with her, especially if you still have feelings for her. Being away from her should make it easier to move on and forget her. Don't even finish the stupid journal for your own sake, why would you even want to put yourself through that? |
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Dec 9 2009, 10:08 PM
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#15
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 Senior Member Group: Official Designer Posts: 5,880 Joined: Nov 2007 Member No: 593,382 |
Don't give it to her. That would just be creepy. Sorry man.
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Dec 10 2009, 01:11 AM
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#16
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Senior Member Group: Human Posts: 525 Joined: Nov 2008 Member No: 695,913 |
QUOTE(karmakiller @ Dec 9 2009, 10:00 PM) Burn it and move on. You're lucky that you don't have to see her and deal with her, especially if you still have feelings for her. Being away from her should make it easier to move on and forget her. Don't even finish the stupid journal for your own sake, why would you even want to put yourself through that? your not putting yourself through it . . . most people who are put in that position still have feelings for the other, and want closure... so they finish it for their on sake Stay Up -1- Subliminal |
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Dec 10 2009, 01:31 AM
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#17
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Senior Member Group: Official Designer Posts: 5,880 Joined: Nov 2007 Member No: 593,382 |
QUOTE(deteam @ Dec 10 2009, 12:11 AM) your not putting yourself through it . . . most people who are put in that position still have feelings for the other, and want closure... so they finish it for their on sake Stay Up -1- Subliminal Could a mod please put "Stay Up -1- Subliminal" In his sig for him? |
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Dec 10 2009, 11:13 AM
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#18
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Senior Member Group: Human Posts: 525 Joined: Nov 2008 Member No: 695,913 |
QUOTE(Maccabee @ Dec 10 2009, 01:31 AM) Could a mod please put "Stay Up -1- Subliminal" In his sig for him? i hate you lol  Stay Up -1- Subliminal |
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Dec 10 2009, 01:59 PM
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#19
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DDR \\ I'm Dee :) Group: Mentor Posts: 8,662 Joined: Mar 2006 Member No: 384,020 |
^ What are you, 12 years old?
QUOTE( @ Dec 10 2009, 02:33 AM) You know what's the awesomest thing? Doing better. Its the biggest F you. You can do it man. Agreed. These are the words of a wise man.
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Dec 10 2009, 06:39 PM
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#20
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Senior Member Group: Staff Alumni Posts: 4,665 Joined: Aug 2008 Member No: 676,364 |
QUOTE(Maccabee @ Dec 9 2009, 11:31 PM) Could a mod please put "Stay Up -1- Subliminal" In his sig for him? i'm not worried about that. it's the drake signature that's killing me. 
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Dec 10 2009, 09:07 PM
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#21
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Senior Member Group: Human Posts: 525 Joined: Nov 2008 Member No: 695,913 |
QUOTE(Beenly @ Dec 10 2009, 06:39 PM) i'm not worried about that. it's the drake signature that's killing me. lol i thought this was supposed to be a mature forum....yet im getting criticized for my sig Stay Up -1- Subliminal |
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Dec 10 2009, 09:29 PM
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#22
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Senior Member Group: Staff Alumni Posts: 4,665 Joined: Aug 2008 Member No: 676,364 |
QUOTE(deteam @ Dec 10 2009, 07:07 PM) lol i thought this was supposed to be a mature forum....yet im getting criticized for my sig Stay Up -1- Subliminal one person doesn't make up a whole forum. 
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Dec 10 2009, 09:34 PM
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#23
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 Sex, Blood, & RocknRoll Group: People Staff Posts: 5,305 Joined: Nov 2007 Member No: 596,480 |
stay on topic bitch asses.
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Dec 10 2009, 09:36 PM
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#24
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Senior Member Group: Staff Alumni Posts: 4,665 Joined: Aug 2008 Member No: 676,364 |
Hopefully OP replies back, but unanimously we all agree that Jane is just lame.
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Dec 10 2009, 09:43 PM
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#25
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i like boobies, yes I do. I like boobies - how 'bout you? Group: Member Posts: 620 Joined: Jun 2008 Member No: 662,457 |
yeah, what a h00r!
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Dec 10 2009, 09:45 PM
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#26
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Senior Member Group: Staff Alumni Posts: 4,665 Joined: Aug 2008 Member No: 676,364 |
QUOTE(HeartOfPandora @ Dec 10 2009, 07:43 PM) ^ Why the hell is Jane lame? She didn't do anything but move on. OP is the creeper here, writing in that journal every day even though they're apart, and wanting to make her think of him when clearly she's done. shhh, i was trying to convert him if you know what i mean. 
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Dec 10 2009, 09:56 PM
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#27
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i like boobies, yes I do. I like boobies - how 'bout you? Group: Member Posts: 620 Joined: Jun 2008 Member No: 662,457 |
idk what you're talking about beens, clearly she's a whore and he needs to move on.
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Dec 10 2009, 11:13 PM
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#28
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Member Group: Member Posts: 12 Joined: Dec 2009 Member No: 754,801 |
QUOTE(HeartOfPandora @ Dec 10 2009, 09:56 PM) idk what you're talking about beens, clearly she's a whore and he needs to move on. Clearly you're just another stupid fat c**t who spends their day looking forward to your daily Dunkin Donuts trips with your other grotesquely obese and corpulent gourmands. and I'm a creep? Since when was being in love considered 'creepy'? Loves makes people do crazy things, even if the majority may not agree with it. |
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Dec 10 2009, 11:39 PM
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#29
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Senior Member Group: Human Posts: 525 Joined: Nov 2008 Member No: 695,913 |
QUOTE(Sriracha @ Dec 10 2009, 11:13 PM) Clearly you're just another stupid fat c**t who spends their day looking forward to your daily Dunkin Donuts trips with your other grotesquely obese and corpulent gourmands. and I'm a creep? Since when was being in love considered 'creepy'? Loves makes people do crazy things, even if the majority may not agree with it.  Stay Up -1- Subliminal |
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Dec 10 2009, 11:55 PM
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#30
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Sex, Blood, & RocknRoll Group: People Staff Posts: 5,305 Joined: Nov 2007 Member No: 596,480 |
QUOTE(Sriracha @ Dec 10 2009, 10:13 PM) Clearly you're just another stupid fat c**t who spends their day looking forward to your daily Dunkin Donuts trips with your other grotesquely obese and corpulent gourmands. and lol I have a feeling u did not c wat they did there. QUOTE Since when was being in love considered 'creepy'? Ever since stalkers were around. Take this opportunity to forget her. Some people get the shit luck where they have to see and talk to there ex everyday. 'Sides writing in a journal is kinda gay bro. |
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Dec 11 2009, 02:10 AM
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#31
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Senior Member Group: Human Posts: 525 Joined: Nov 2008 Member No: 695,913 |
QUOTE(IWontRapeYou @ Dec 10 2009, 11:55 PM) 'Sides writing in a journal is kinda gay bro. your avatars kinda gay bro  Stay Up -1- Subliminal |
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Dec 11 2009, 02:16 AM
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#32
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rawr? Group: Official Member Posts: 2,705 Joined: Nov 2005 Member No: 285,858 |
I would have mixed emotions, I think every girl would. I would be like "wow he still wrote in it after so long." that is what I would say.. for the initial thoughts it would read it, imo why would you give it to me and I not read it? the feelings would be curious yet wow needs to move on, and reminisce. i think that's the pretty most obvious explanation.
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Dec 11 2009, 07:42 AM
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#33
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‹(. .)› Group: Official Member Posts: 2,367 Joined: Jun 2004 Member No: 20,089 |
in a sense, receiving pity is worse than blatant apathy.
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Dec 11 2009, 04:47 PM
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#34
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i like boobies, yes I do. I like boobies - how 'bout you? Group: Member Posts: 620 Joined: Jun 2008 Member No: 662,457 |
QUOTE(Sriracha @ Dec 10 2009, 10:13 PM) Clearly you're just another stupid fat c**t who spends their day looking forward to your daily Dunkin Donuts trips with your other grotesquely obese and corpulent gourmands. and I'm a creep? Since when was being in love considered 'creepy'? Loves makes people do crazy things, even if the majority may not agree with it. Clearly, you missed what I said first and edited over. Just 'cause you're lovesick over some girl who dumped you doesn't mean you have any right to freak out at us when you don't like what we say. You don't get to pick and choose which opinions you want to hear when you ask on a public forum like this.And also, wtf is Dunkin' Donuts? I'm done with this, bye. I hope that, if you send it to her, it makes her emotionally freaky, 'cause then it'd be your fault and you'd have to live with that for the rest of your life or until she got over you (AGAIN). |
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Dec 11 2009, 07:07 PM
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#35
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Member Group: Member Posts: 12 Joined: Dec 2009 Member No: 754,801 |
QUOTE(HeartOfPandora @ Dec 11 2009, 04:47 PM) Clearly, you missed what I said first and edited over. Just 'cause you're lovesick over some girl who dumped you doesn't mean you have any right to freak out at us when you don't like what we say. You don't get to pick and choose which opinions you want to hear when you ask on a public forum like this. And also, wtf is Dunkin' Donuts? I'm done with this, bye. I hope that, if you send it to her, it makes her emotionally freaky, 'cause then it'd be your fault and you'd have to live with that for the rest of your life or until she got over you (AGAIN). I actually did read what you said first and edited over. But then I saw your profile picture and wanted to make fun of you anyways. And how the hell in the world do you not know what Dunkin' Donuts is? Woman of your healthy size I'd imagine you'd know better than that ;) |
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Dec 11 2009, 07:16 PM
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#36
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Sex, Blood, & RocknRoll Group: People Staff Posts: 5,305 Joined: Nov 2007 Member No: 596,480 |
QUOTE(deteam @ Dec 11 2009, 01:10 AM) your avatars kinda gay bro Stay Up -1- Subliminal why you gonna diss Daffy? |
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Dec 11 2009, 07:21 PM
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#37
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Member Group: Member Posts: 12 Joined: Dec 2009 Member No: 754,801 |
QUOTE(IWontRapeYou @ Dec 11 2009, 07:16 PM) why you gonna diss Daffy? Yeah, I actually like Daffy. |
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Dec 11 2009, 09:15 PM
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#38
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Senior Member Group: Staff Alumni Posts: 4,665 Joined: Aug 2008 Member No: 676,364 |
QUOTE(Sriracha @ Dec 11 2009, 05:07 PM) I actually did read what you said first and edited over. But then I saw your profile picture and wanted to make fun of you anyways. And how the hell in the world do you not know what Dunkin' Donuts is? Woman of your healthy size I'd imagine you'd know better than that ;) Please don't member bash. If there's a fatty around here, that fatty is me. Nobody else. |
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Dec 11 2009, 09:17 PM
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#39
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 Senior Member Group: Official Member Posts: 1,938 Joined: Jul 2008 Member No: 667,832 |
She'll get a restraining order on you.
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Dec 12 2009, 03:53 PM
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#40
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Member Group: Member Posts: 12 Joined: Dec 2009 Member No: 754,801 |
QUOTE(Uso @ Dec 11 2009, 09:17 PM) She'll get a restraining order on you. LOL. Funniest thing I've heard yet. |
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Dec 24 2009, 09:33 PM
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#41
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 Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 31 Joined: Dec 2009 Member No: 756,147 |
I would read it and as I read it, I'd probably think it over.
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Dec 25 2009, 01:00 AM
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#42
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Senior Member Group: Official Member Posts: 1,938 Joined: Jul 2008 Member No: 667,832 |
imo if you'regoing ot give it to her to try to win her back and have her fall in love with you, don't bother it'll pressure and maker her feel uncomfortable
If your going to give it to her just cause then maybe that'll be ok it really depends in the person |
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