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I need help/advice...
Qbangrl
post Jul 10 2004, 09:44 PM
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Hi I'm new her to Createblog.com.I surfed around the community center and found great people and advice.So here's my problem to anyone who is helpful to listen.I'm 15 and I'm in a relationship where everything I ever asked for in a relationship....personality wise.We have so much in common and we have alot of fun together.It's perfect!The problem is I'm not attracted to him facially.I don't know what to do?Hopefully, I can see pass this.I hope I dont sound stupid or something and this may not seem like a type of topic you would ask advice for but I need someone's perspective on this.Please help! _unsure.gif
 
conster
post Jul 10 2004, 10:20 PM
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so .. everythings good except u think hes not good lookin enough? =\ i think if u really like someone.. it shouldnt matter... and if u cant face him, then u jus dont like him all that much and u should break it off before both of u get deeper into the relationship, which also means deeper to get out of
 
Darkpekkle
post Jul 10 2004, 10:29 PM
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hrmmm. well, i think that once you really like that person... their inward beauty makes them physically attractive [in time]. I mean, you might start liking the way he smiles, or the way his eyes light up when he finds something amusing, etc.

But obviously, if you don't find him that attractive, then there may be trouble up ahead (in the relationship). Maybe you can give him a nice haircut or somehting if that would make you feel better.

Just take a little time to think it through. If you really care for this person and if his looks do not bother you that much, then stay with him... if u are turned off by his looks, despite his amazing personality... then perhaps you are not fully ready to settle into a serious relationship with him (it'll only hurt him to learn that he's not good looking enough for you).
 
always_n0vember
post Jul 10 2004, 10:56 PM
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QUOTE(conster @ Jul 10 2004, 10:20 PM)
so .. everythings good except u think hes not good lookin enough? =\ i think if u really like someone.. it shouldnt matter... and if u cant face him, then u jus dont like him all that much and u should break it off before both of u get deeper into the relationship, which also means deeper to get out of

I agree... it really shouldn't matter what the person looks like.. if you REALLY like them... Once I was in this "relationship" with this guy I met over the internet and all I did was talk to him on the phone. When I finally got my licence I went to see him.. and he wasn't "my type" physically but i really didn't let that bother me because I knew how he truely was.. hmm dunno if that helped.. but I guess you can do whatever... you think is right.. in your heart... :)
 
NawtyLilAznChic
post Jul 10 2004, 11:19 PM
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dont worry, tha more u c him, tha more u'll get used ta his looks n notice his great eyes or cute lil nose or swt smile or sumthin lol laugh.gif

.:sigh, thinks of tha guy she dates:. wub.gif
 
ThePrincessofTKD
post Jul 10 2004, 11:25 PM
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like everyone is saying, you`ll grow to like him for his personality. i was in that situation, where i met this guy online and i liked him..but when i saw his picture...i didn`t want to talk to him again.. pinch.gif i was so horrible. but after awhile i missed talking to him. so i`m still talkin` to him now but i won`t have the same feelings for him ever again. _smile.gif if you`re all about personality...then it wouldn`t be a big problem for you on their looks. but if it starts to bug you...you know what to do. happy.gif
 
rOckThISshYt
post Jul 10 2004, 11:30 PM
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for different people different things matter. i think the only thing that's important is that you're comfortable and happy with him. if you're not happy, for whatever reason (personality, face, body, bad sex, whatever) then you should do your best to change it. but you obviously can't change his face. but just give it a little time. people's feelings change and you might begin to like/love him so much that it doesn't matter worth a cent.
 
x rOck mai sOcks...
post Jul 10 2004, 11:31 PM
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QUOTE(conster @ Jul 10 2004, 10:20 PM)
so .. everythings good except u think hes not good lookin enough? =\ i think if u really like someone.. it shouldnt matter... and if u cant face him, then u jus dont like him all that much and u should break it off before both of u get deeper into the relationship, which also means deeper to get out of

if hes a great guy with a great personality it really shoulnd matter...if hes not that attractive...then...well...i would stay with him...because i would love him for who he is...and not for what he looks like

does that make any sense?
 
islandkiss
post Jul 11 2004, 08:32 AM
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QUOTE(conster @ Jul 10 2004, 10:20 PM)
so .. everythings good except u think hes not good lookin enough? =\ i think if u really like someone.. it shouldnt matter... and if u cant face him, then u jus dont like him all that much and u should break it off before both of u get deeper into the relationship, which also means deeper to get out of

I agree
 
xsweetdreams12x
post Jul 11 2004, 01:37 PM
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Yeah, sometimes the greatest guys are just... well ugly. _unsure.gif

I'm usually like that too. I love cute guys.

Just try to see past it since you are in a relationship, and it would be kinda mean to just break up with him because of his looks.
 
babygurl_xtacy
post Jul 11 2004, 02:36 PM
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then does that mean you really LIKE him? cuz if u did.. you wouldnt think that way..
 
*FreeStickers*
post Jul 11 2004, 02:50 PM
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his personality'll start to make him look better biggrin.gif
 
SasukeNaru
post Jul 11 2004, 02:55 PM
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Is that all? You shouldnt care about that.. Face doesnt always matter. Relationships are about caring about one another not just physical attraction.
 
Qbangrl
post Jul 11 2004, 06:48 PM
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hey you guys!I just read all of your posts and I must say you guys are awesome.Thank you to anyone who posted.You really helped me to figure out something about myself.You're all right.It shouldn't matter what he looks like as long as you know he's a great guy inside.Thank you all! biggrin.gif biggrin.gif
 
HoneyGurl
post Jul 11 2004, 08:36 PM
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You should just love him.. Because yooh may not feel like yooh love him but wen u break up does feelingz will come... So yea yooh should maybe talk bout it..
honey gurl

P.S.
Sorry i haven't been in this situation b 4
 
megumint
post Jul 11 2004, 08:41 PM
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haha everyone already said what i was gonna say.. i was gonna help you..

anyway, you might try to change it (if it's something easy like just a unibrow or something) but if it's his actual face, then that's bad. PLASTIC SURGERY!

no... but anyway, if you really liked him, that wouldn't matter. unless you really care about your children, and if you're gonna have kids, you wouldn't want them to look like him right? well, if you're like that..

the question is: do you think he's ugly or bearable?

if it's bearable, then you can keep going out with him and focus on the personality. if he's so ugly it makes you puke, then i dont' think you can stand it.. i know i wouldn't.

hope i helped..
 
lilsammie13
post Jul 11 2004, 11:36 PM
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hmm .. i know a lot of people are saying it shouldnt matter .. but i doubt half of them have ever been in the position .. i know how u feel totally .. ive tried out a relationship where, personality wise, we were perfect for each other, but .. i know it sounds shallow, i broke up with him cuz he wasnt that attractive facially ;\ .. im not telling you to go and break up with him .. im jus saying that in my mind it isnt THAT bad of an idea, you know being attractive goes a long way for me lol

goodluck!
 
shawty_redd
post Jul 12 2004, 12:00 AM
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hes not good looking enough?? well try to get him to do a makeover but don't make it obvious like suggest a hair cut or a change of style or something...i dunno i have never been a situation like that...
 
empyrean
post Jul 12 2004, 12:31 PM
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if you really like him that much then you would be able to see past his looks. maybe the two of you just shouldnt be in a relationship, you know, like just as friends
 
wHoOt_Iz_DeZzy
post Jul 13 2004, 02:51 PM
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you should be attractive to the guys u like... people say that looks shouldnt matter... but i kinda disagree.. cuz the first thing that you see is their looks... and thats what attracts you [[unless if you go for your friends... cuz then you already know them]] but he cant control the way he looks... and his personality [[if its as great as you say it is]] should make up for it... i think its a lot better to have a b/f whos maybe not so cute looking but has a great personality that i feel in love with... than to have a hott bf whos a jerk and full of himself... thats just me... but i would try to see past it... this guy seems like a really really sweet guy... and if you love him like you say you do.. than you should except it... but if you cant.. than maybe you dont like him as much as you think you do...
 
h22fanatik
post Jul 13 2004, 03:04 PM
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typically looks shouldn't really matter but if it means that much to u to even ask advice on this matter then obviously this is a big issue. don't be with him if its that big of a deal to u cuz u'll just end up hurting him.
 
DrEaMgUy2K1
post Jul 13 2004, 04:16 PM
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well if u guys have fun and have alot of things in common, but ur not attracted to him sexually ish... isnt that what a friends for? to have fun with and have htings in common
 
defjam_gangsta
post Jul 18 2004, 02:37 PM
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Greetings!!

everythin comes from da heart. if ya dun have da heart, dun get involved. da longer it drags, da more painful da breakup will be. so bottomline is, ya gotta decide whether ya wanna continue wit him. thing is, it's affecting ya despite everythin seems so perfect. its' all inda mind. ya gotta work ya way out. so ya gotta decide and imma sure if ya can decide to get yaself involve in a relationship, makin a decision might just be a walk on da beach!! _smile.gif

CHEERS CB!!
 
xpiixeespriitx
post Jul 18 2004, 02:40 PM
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QUOTE(Darkpekkle @ Jul 10 2004, 10:29 PM)
hrmmm. well, i think that once you really like that person... their inward beauty makes them physically attractive [in time]. I mean, you might start liking the way he smiles, or the way his eyes light up when he finds something amusing, etc.

But obviously, if you don't find him that attractive, then there may be trouble up ahead (in the relationship). Maybe you can give him a nice haircut or somehting if that would make you feel better.

Just take a little time to think it through. If you really care for this person and if his looks do not bother you that much, then stay with him... if u are turned off by his looks, despite his amazing personality... then perhaps you are not fully ready to settle into a serious relationship with him (it'll only hurt him to learn that he's not good looking enough for you).

coulnt of syd it better myself
 
strwbrryluv8
post Jul 18 2004, 11:33 PM
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QUOTE(conster @ Jul 10 2004, 10:20 PM)
so .. everythings good except u think hes not good lookin enough? =\ i think if u really like someone.. it shouldnt matter... and if u cant face him, then u jus dont like him all that much and u should break it off before both of u get deeper into the relationship, which also means deeper to get out of

i agree
 
babieshortie
post Jul 19 2004, 12:43 AM
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if he matches personality-wise...den dats all dat counts...

i havta say that someones personality ken make dem PRETTIFUL even wen deyre not physicalli...but wen someone is HOT nd has the worst personality...dat ruins everything
 
strwbrryluv8
post Jul 19 2004, 01:49 AM
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QUOTE(babieshortie @ Jul 19 2004, 12:43 AM)
if he matches personality-wise...den dats all dat counts...

i havta say that someones personality ken make dem PRETTIFUL even wen deyre not physicalli...but wen someone is HOT nd has the worst personality...dat ruins everything

totally agree... wink.gif
 
*bright eyes*
post Jul 20 2004, 12:35 AM
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if you really like him you will eventually see past that. its probably better that he isn't facially attractive because you know the reason you like him is because of who he is on the inside. a lot of times these days people go out because they think one another is hot. wacko.gif _dry.gif
 

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