is he right? Options

[bcktthftr]

during the summer between high school and college, my boyfriend of three years suddenly decided he wanted to take a break. his idea, not mine. i think his exact words were "i dont want to break up, but i dont want us to miss out on new experiences"

me, being an idiot, agreed with him and we decided to have an open relationship. i just found out a few weeks ago that he hooked up with some whore at a party when he was shit faced. of coruse, i'm extremely pissed and my first reaction is to break up with him.

through facebook.

lame, i know, but he called me the other day telling me that he loved me etc etc etc and doesnt want to be in an open relationship anymore. he wants us to be 100% faithful, no hooking up, no girls for him, the whole shebang.

i dont know. i dont want to throw away something good just because of this but at the same time, i dont think i can trust him. not once in our break or open-relationship have i wanted to hook up with another guy and it makes me pissed and sad that he didnt think twice about it.

[bcktthftr]

i just realized that the name of this topic doesnt match with the post, haha.

[Tung]

I think the term is "you don't know what you have until it's gone" and that's exactly why he wants to be 100% with you now after you broke up with him through FB. But should you be all that mad though? I mean you did agree to be in an open relationship, so you know this would happen.

[bcktthftr]

to be perfectly honest i didnt think he would go off and have fun with other girls. he's not the type that people find attractive.

i dont know what i was thinking.

=(

[brooklyneast05]

i don't believe in "open" relationships. they just make no sense to me. i don't think it's wrong to not think someone is going to go that far and at the same time i don't think it's wrong to go that far when you've already put it out there that it's open.


it's like having consent to cheat

[bcktthftr]

would it be lame to say that i just wanted to not break up with him? i thought he was thinking of me and agreed to it even though i told him it was a dumb idea.

[brooklyneast05]

lol yeah it'd be lame. i mean it's a lame situation regardless but only from the outside. if i was in it, it wouldn't be stupid anymore, of course. these kinda things are always dumb as hell until you find yourself in one of the situations.


i don't think it's fair to say you can't trust someone though becuase of what they did while DRUNK in an open relationship. it's sorta like if your dude was single and did that, got in a relationship, and then you claimed you couldn't trust him. i duno, i just don't think you're even really warranted to say that he isn't trustworthy based on it. but i only know what you said in the first post, so i mean if you have other reasons and stuff to think he's not trustworthy that's a different story.

[gojira]

have you seen the last kiss?

[bcktthftr]

thats the movie with the guy from scrubs? no, i haven't seen it.

[gojira]

do you mind if i spoil it a bit for ya?

[bcktthftr]

sure go ahead

[gojira]

just in case anybody gets mad.
in the movie, the main character is conflicted with life after being in a relationship with his girlfriend whose pregnant. he fears his life will soon be over, and jumps at a chance to hold on to his youth when he meets a young college girl. he ends up sleeping with her, confesses to his wife, and of course being pregnant, she is outraged that he would go do something like this. she kicks him out, they fight, he sleeps on the porch, he begs her to give him another chance... in the end, she takes him back.

i think it's forgivable, not forgettable. there are no excuses that justifies what he did, but it sometimes takes drastic measurez to realize what you really have. just like the main character, your boyfriend took you for granted. it's really up to you if you decide to end it or not, and i'm sure it'd take a while for him to earn your trust again.

[bcktthftr]

oh, that movie sounds like something i would watch!

i see the bf again in a week or so. i guess i'll wait to see how things pan out and try not to do anything too drastic.

[hypnotique]

i don't believe in "open" relationships. they just make no sense to me. i don't think it's wrong to not think someone is going to go that far and at the same time i don't think it's wrong to go that far when you've already put it out there that it's open.
it's like having consent to cheat

Exactly
All a open relationship and "taking a break" is just a lame excuse to have cheaters insurance.

f*ck that.