Lack of chemistry?, Relationship or exaggerated friendship? Options

[azndreamer]

I'm really confused about my situation with this guy right now, and i would really appreciate your help...

So me and this boy started out as best friends in the first few months of college. We have been going out for a couple days less than a year and I do love him. Basically, I want him to be happy, we have fun together, and our relationship is great. The problem: He is my first real relationship, and I don't know if there is any chemistry between us. Sometimes it feels like we are just really close friends and not actually boyfriend and girlfriend. Like we will be hanging out, and we'll have fun, but at the end of the day it will just feel like time spent between best friends. I don't know if maybe i'm just overreacting to the level of commitment that we share, given that he is my first real anything really, or if there actually is a lack of a connection between us. The reason that I feel like this tho, is because he really doesn't feel like more than a best friend anymore. Like we can talk about literally anything, and we are always looking out for each other, and we have all that cute & sweet stuff, but he just feels like a really close guy friend... My problem basically is that i want to feel more for him because he is a brilliant boy, and an even better boyfriend, but i don't think that i do.

Any insights?

[MiSSP]

It sounds like you guys have a very fulfilling relationship, and some couples would love to have what you guys have, Love & Friendship. Most couples only have one or the other either not enough love or not enough friendship..For example..a couple who has only love and no friendship shall only remain intimate and romantic and lovey dovey like feeding each other spagetti typa thing..and friendship is more along the lines of you just play around, wrestle, laugh, smoke, whatever basic things you would do with your friends..now to combine the two is a wonderful thing because you wont have to go looking for someone to fill the shoes of one of the parts that you are missing, and it sounds like you have both but if you are having serious doubts on your feelings and if you think he treats you more as a friend than a girlfriend then just talk to him about it you said yall can talk about anything so just go for it and see if he feels the same way and i guarantee it will bring yall closer together and make your relationship stronger/better. I just read your post over to make sure i hit every or most points and just tell him you feel like his more of your friend and you want to feel more for him so maybe tell him u want to be more intimate whatever it is you want just let him kno. Good luck and i hope i helped a lil.

[Castaway]

It sounds like you guys have a very fulfilling relationship, and some couples would love to have what you guys have, Love & Friendship. Most couples only have one or the other either not enough love or not enough friendship..For example..a couple who has only love and no friendship shall only remain intimate and romantic and lovey dovey like feeding each other spagetti typa thing..and friendship is more along the lines of you just play around, wrestle, laugh, smoke, whatever basic things you would do with your friends..now to combine the two is a wonderful thing because you wont have to go looking for someone to fill the shoes of one of the parts that you are missing, and it sounds like you have both but if you are having serious doubts on your feelings and if you think he treats you more as a friend than a girlfriend then just talk to him about it you said yall can talk about anything so just go for it and see if he feels the same way and i guarantee it will bring yall closer together and make your relationship stronger/better. I just read your post over to make sure i hit every or most points and just tell him you feel like his more of your friend and you want to feel more for him so maybe tell him u want to be more intimate whatever it is you want just let him kno. Good luck and i hope i helped a lil.

Brilliant! I liked you're love and love+relationship description. That's so true.

[LittleMissSunshi...]

i think your confused.. that you think of him more as a best friend than a boyfriend. are you guys intimate? like do you guys kiss when you guys hangout and such? if not it's okay, i mean some couples like kiss or do intimate things constantly while being together. and some don't, mainly i feel that you really have to let yourself be out there, be romantic as you can be. imagine what it's like to be in love with him to make him feel like he's your boyfriend. you say you love him, so try putting it into a boyfriend way.. i don't know if this helped. hope everything goes well (:

[MiSSP]

Brilliant! I liked you're love and love+relationship description. That's so true.

lol thanks I try. i try lol =)

[applejaxkz]

MiSSP and Shannlovin have got it on point. Especially with the love+relationship theory. From what is sounds, you guys have the friendship part down. But you might be struggling with the relationship side.

Try being a little more intimate, or surprising. See how that affects things between the two of you. Don't be afraid to make mistakes. Either way you guys can talk about anything so bring it up sometime.

[MiSSP]

try writing him a little love note or something or a poem n see how he reacts to it to see if hes into the lovey dovey thing cuz sum guys r just not into that, thst doesnt mean they dont care about you or anything thats just the way they are

[applejaxkz]

^ I'll be honest, I like it when I get surprising notes from my girlfriend. I remember I had a bad day at work one time and she left me a "parking ticket" that had a pretend court date, which was held in my room

Some guys like it, some don't. But you'll never find out for yourself and less you try.