Could really use some advice on this situation!!!, Dont know what to think about his actions or my sudden feelings! Options

[Marrisa3636]

I graduated this past May..but At the beginning of the year, everything was normal between me and one of my teachers, but as the year went on, I realized that he started doing strange things, like telling other kids(as a joke), that they should not talk to me, even make eye contact with me..or one time he said in class one day, that he loved me and that I will always have a special place in his heart. He would make these little remarks like, once I saw him in the hallway and it was crowded and he came out of one of the classes and told these kids, hey you guys need get to class and clear the hallways, because there is a beautiful girl in the hallway. He saw me before graduation, he told me I looked beautiful, and said that this year has been a year he won't forget, because he feels that he has become a better person, teacher, everything because I opened his eyes to giving people an opportunity to succeed.The year was full of moments like that. Now, I am starting to question how I feel about him, It's like he slowly seduced me all year? I just don't know if these 'feelings' between us are real?

I am gonna be 19 and he is gonna be 25. I have talked to some friends and some family.. and most just tell me I just took what he said wrong, and I should forget it..but everytime I get convinced, yeah..it probobly didn't mean anything..or he didnt mean what he said like that, something else happens..and it makes me think otherwise.

As for me, in all honesty, I do like him, as we did spend a lot of time together last year, but I just can imagine what other people would say, and Its sort of like, my heart tells me one thing, but the reality of the way people think makes me feel like I have to think otherwise. I don't want either of us to get a bad reputation, and I know that people could think things happened before Graduation. I mean, he told me at the end of the year, that he did like me, and hoped that any guy that dates me, realizes how lucky he really is. I really dont know if these feelings are 'real' or if my mind is just playing tricks on me.

I caught up with my teacher recently.. and it was at school and when he saw me, he told me, 'hey..before you leave, you have to check out my office..you haven't been up there yet.' So, He went to class and I went up to see what he was talking about, and he had this pic. of us that I gave him at the end of the year, framed. The picture kinda shocked me...I was like...huh? I mean, I gave any teacher that I had taken a photo with at the end of the year, a copy of the pic. and some of them tacked it on the wall, or just have it like leaning on something in their office, or some just took it home, but I was surprised that he framed it...I was like..wow..really was not expecting that. Should I just take that as a compliment, that he doesn't want the pic getting messed up, or take that as something...weird??? Its like the only two things he has up too..like he doesnt have any other things up in his office yet. Part of me says, wow, thats nice of him, and then the other part is like...alittle strange???

What do you guys think?!?

[mizzkewl06]

first things first... don't hold back from doing something you want because of what people may think or say about it. if you decide to do something do it because it's what you want & don't let peoples opinions about it get in your way. you don't live life to make anyone but yourself happy.
now about your teacher... i knew a girl who was in a similar situation as you. it all started out really subtle and then it started happening more & more often until our teacher just told her that he liked her. after graduation they started seeing each other and got into a serious relationship. it's been a little over two years and they're still together. at first it was weird.. but she took a chance and she's really happy. you never know what can happen.

[CocaineNoseJob]

Thats creepy. but its a cute situation. =] Well u graduated... and ur over 18 so i think u shud do wats in ur heart. c if he actually does have feelings for u and go with ur intuition from there.

[Marrisa3636]

The thing that really gets me, is that at the start of the year, we didnt really get along, I mean I had a hard time at the start of the year and we bumped heads about everything! So everyone always was hearing me complain about his class, or that I had to fight for every point, or whatever it was that was bothering me that day. But then as the year went on, I guess you can say I grew up alittle..I mean, i was always a mature person..but I really learned so much about myself... and I started to change the way I was approaching his class, and he made tons of changes too..and it was like we both kind of grew on eachother. We sort of made each other change, and lucky for both of us, they were mostly changes for the better..and I like to think we are better people because of some of the stuff that we went through. I dont know if any of that makes sense. I mean, I am not that blind..and like I know there are feelings there but, its like a part of me..likes him alot, but I dont know if its the "like" everyone thinks it is.

Only my close friends really knew about any of the remarks he would make. And I mean...some of my friends pick on me already, and there is nothing even going on between us. The whole year, they would always be making remarks about how funny it would be if we ended up together... and what was even stranger, was I even had some other 'Faculty' members that would tell me, " oh, well...lucky for you he likes you, cause he does he likes you', or ' ohh you know he loves you', stuff like that. It was kind of like...everyone saw "something", except for me...

[towntown2]

Because of your primary teacher-student relationship, his actions come across as creepy.
The fact that he seemed to profess his love/like for you publicly in front of other students is kind of creepy. I personally think that if he really liked you, he'd know to keep it quiet for the sake of both of you.

You are an adult, so if you decide to pursue the relationship, none of you would be breaking the law. Is it worth an attempt?

I will add this: My mom had a friend in high school who married a teacher that both of them have. So..as long as it's no reverse Mary Kay Letorneau-Villi Fualauu thing, the choice is up to you.

[Marrisa3636]

I dont know if its all worth an attempt...or even if I am convinced that these feelings I have are even "real". I really do like him, but I dont know if its the "like" that everyone thinks it is. I dont know if I can, trust him..just yet... I mean we did spend a lot of time together the past year..I would always go to his help sessions before and after school, and that was just becasue I really needed the help to get through the class, but I mean of course..you end up straying on to diffrent topics eventually...so we got to know eachother over time...and I really dont see him as a bad person, but at the same time, part of me always wonders, " did he say and do all of this stuff, just because I was around all the time or did he mean any of it?

Its like...Iam a torn between thinking..he is a good person, and friend..with thinking he is got ulterior motives for everything and the whole year was just a joke.

[Marrisa3636]

Heyy....I was just wondering what you guys thought about this...Am I crazzy or does this guy just give me mixed emotions here??

I headed out to the first home game for my High School....And like everyone from the school went to the game....other alumi...everyone...it was a huge game because we were playing a school we have not played in years...so everyone was there..and I saw my teacher at the Football Game this past week and He told me, he (w/out the use of my real name to his students), he used my whole."Struggling at the start of the year.changed my attitude.ended up passing his class with an 'A'.or the as we call it.The " miracle story ".He was like."I used that in my First day of school speech that I gave all my classes." "I told them, no one can tell me they can't pass my class.because I know a girl out there that is living proof that it is possible." "so I just thought you should know, I was talking about you to all my classes the first day of school." and then he was messing with our cell phones.trying to take pictures of me and trying to figure out how to save pics. of himself on mine, etc.

But the strange thing is, that earlier this week..we saw eachother...because my cousin is a junior in the school that I graduated from, so I had to go in and pick her up...and she was getting help from a teacher so I was in the front office waiting and..he came in the front doors from the parking lot and was like..Ohh Hi...what are you doing here and I told him I was picking up my cousin and he was like ohh..and then he walked into the office and when he came out, he was like " oh Marrisa...I have to stay away from you..." or something like that..I couldn't really make out what he said..but I was like..hmmm...thats wierd. Its like...he throws so many mixed signals....I just dont ever know if Iam reading him right.

People say, its just like...maybe he is just getting tierd of me not being receptive to his advances..there like...he has done lots of things to show you he cares and you have not done anything in return really. There like..maybe you two should just sit down and talk.But with these mixed signals...I really dont ever know what to do....=/

[towntown2]

Your friends may be right.
In any case, you're an adult now, so you can talk to him face to face and be honest about the situation.

Answer this question:
Are you interested?
If the circumstances are different--if you guys met somewhere else and didn't have a student-teacher connection--would you date him?

[Marrisa3636]

Your friends may be right.
In any case, you're an adult now, so you can talk to him face to face and be honest about the situation.

Answer this question:
Are you interested?
If the circumstances are different--if you guys met somewhere else and didn't have a student-teacher connection--would you date him?

Well..part of me really was does like him, but I I am convinced that these feelings I have are even "real". I do think about him somdays...but then there are days, that I really do think...its all in my head and eventually...all of this will just go away, and we'll be friends and thats it. But then there are the times when we see eachother, or someone will say something, or I'll see something on TV and it will trigger a memory, of something that happen during the year, or it will remind me something he said, or we talked about once...and, i'll think of everything of that happend..and its like the moments just replay in my head. ( I know it probably sounds weird).

Part of me wants to just be friends but the other part of me always wonders, well..I have to be feeling this way for a reason...What if we were together? What if all of this was for real, and he meant the things he said? I would hate having to live my life with all the " What Ifs". I do want to give it a chance..and I guess at the same time.. I am scared, on the other hand...No one has ever really made me feel this way before.

Although I honestly, can not say that if I had met him outside of school, I would be like...OMG I have to have that guy. Our initial friendship...really was like non-exsistent..we just delt with each other becasue we had to. It was really a " we sort of Grew on each other, made each other change some ways" kind of thing. He changed a lot and so...the person he is now...I like so much better then the person I met the first day of classes to be honest.

[towntown2]

It is not weird to recall certain moments with him the way you do.
We all do the same thing.
You're definitely not alone on that.

Okay, to know for sure, you gotta go for it, right?
If it doesn't work out, so what?
I'm sure you're going to be mature enough to move past it and be civil whenever you meet him.

You'll eventually know for certain if the two of you are a good fit.

[Audrina]

...

[Marrisa3636]

I guess, word got out that I had done well on this exam, so when I was at the school, everyone was talking about it, and they kept asking me if I had told my teacher about all of this. I did well on a Math test, and I NEVER do well in math. This teacher was my math teacher last year, and I really just struggled like you cant imagine and then It all just came together at the end of the year. So everyone was like..Oh my god, he is not going to believe how well your doing, you have to tell him about this, yourself..everyone was like, we wont say anything, you tell him, personally.

Turns out the afternoon that I was there, he had left school early..so a teacher who he shares an office with gave me his E-Mail and said, go ahead..just E-mail him the good news. So I sent him an E-mail and just said..Hey, Your never going to believe what happened..and I told him about the test grade..and that I just can not believe that iam doing so well...and I guess all that hard work from last year is just paying off, because this semester so far, has been pretty good.

Then he responded back like two days later, and he was like.." ohh iam sorry its taken me this long to respond. I missed you when you came to school the other day, becasuse I left early. Now, I wish I didnt do that, because I am sure you would have made me laugh, just the way your E-Mail did. ( I guess he found the part, where I said...I was FREAKING OUT when I got my test back..and the teacher like asked me if I needed some air...lol...I dont get A's in MATH ever, so I was really..freaking out! ^_^, I guess he found that funny)

He was like..I heard about your score from a lot of people actually. It just goes to show you what can happen when you work hard at something, you can really do well when you put your mind to it. I am so proud of you, and not just academically, that your doing well in school...but I am really proud of the woman your becoming. I just want you to always remember that anything done with determination and hard work can be achievied, and that Anything is possible. Every time I look at the photo of you and I, here in the office...it just makes me smile".


So, really...my message was so, straight foward and about the "Math grade"..and he got so personal..I mean, do I even respond to that, or just let it be and just see how things are the next time we run into eachother.

[towntown2]

If you want to reply--because, after all, it is the polite thing to do--then do so impersonally.
Just say a quick "Thank you" and leave it at that.

I still think you need to figure out how you feel so that the next time he tries to profess something to you, it can be dealt with easily.
You know, take out the confusion.

[Marrisa3636]

I noticed something this past weekend, I was at a homecoming game and was walking the track with a friend and I and all of a sudden, i hear someone say " ohh so whats this? You cant say hello to me anymore?" And I like turned around and it was him and he was like " hey...what you doing?" and he gave me a hug and I was like..I am not doing anything, just here for the game and stuff", and he was like ohh, well these are my friends..and there was like a guy and I guess the guy's girlfriend or wife, and they had a kid with them. And he was like..yeah, this is Marrisa, she is my former student. And they were all like..."ohh, nice to meet you." Then he was like..alright ladies..I guess I will see you later.

He didnt even acknowledge my friend, who he had in a class last year too. And she was like.."I was going to say...um, I was in your cla** last year too...she was like...but whatever. She was like...Dont you think its kind of weird..he introduces anyone he is with to you, all the time?" Like I saw him at school one day...and he was with a girl and he was like..."Ohh this is my brother's fiance"..and I was like.."ohh..well nice to meet you." lol

I didnt really notice it, until the other day at the game, I mean...my friend was RIGHT next to me...to the point that I was like...and this is my friend..blah,blah... b/c he didnt even bring her up. He asked how she was doing and then he was like..alright well I'll see you ladies later. I mean, I understand being polite when you are with other people and you run into someone you know, its fine to introduce everyone, but EVERYONE...being the key word there.

[Marrisa3636]

Alright guys..well its been awhile and sadly..things are pretty much still the same as they were before. Although...I really need an opinion on something that happen just this week.

I recently saw him after classes and we were just talking and then I had him help me with Math..I told, Ohh man, I have a test this week, can you help me out. So he did..we went to the library on campus and then after we were done ..we were leaving and I was assuming we were just gonna go our seperate ways..but he kept talking to me and then he was like ohh man I forgot my keys..and we were like.. just heading around the corner from where the table was that we were sitting ( meaning, we were not that far from the keys...lol) and I turned towards him and said..ohh well you should go back for them and he was like...well are you coming?? Like he was just going around the corner..I didnt think he needed me to go with him. So... I was said...Umm..do you want me to--- and then he was like...hold on, and he ran to the table got his keys and ran back.

Anyway, long story short, we were walking out and a girl in one of my classes stopped me and as we were talking...he was like alight well, I guess I will see you ladies later...and he left. Now part of me feels like...Should I have just blew off my friend and ran and caught up with him, rather then talk to her? We were only talking for like 2 min. and he was so quick to leave me there with her, it was not like he was acting like he wanted me to stick around. Although I really think he did.. And my friend was heading to class..so it was not like we could go hang out or anything.

So, really...I am feeling like...was it my fault this time...should I have just kept walking with him and not have stopped to say hello. Maybe something between us finally would have been put out there. Its like I said...everytime we are alone and finally it seems like we can just talk things out ( our feelings), something messes it up. EVERY TIME! ...He was walking with me and we were just walking and talking together, and it was so almost random...I was thinking to myself...so do I go...or do you want me to stay..what do you want? I am not a mind reader. What do you guys think?? Am I just making more out of this then what it really is, or do you think he might have finally made a move...and I just blew it this time?? =/

[towntown2]

Why not just ask him to dinner?
Figure it out once and for all so you can stop worrying about this.

[LittleMissSunshi...]

i don't think you blew it.. i think that he's scared. because he doesn't want other students that recently go to your previous school to know that you guys might have something.. cause it may cause problems for him. i mean yeah you are out of high school and you should definitely go for him. but teachers or administrators would question him about it. and your teacher might be insecure about the situation. you should really start hanging off-campus or not near where students know him or know you. it definitely seems like he's attracted to you, so go for it.. don't be confused you have to realize that your at school and he's a teacher.. your formal teacher, be more cautious not confused.. (:

[Marrisa3636]

You know what, something that is just really bothering me is, I cant figure out...why he bailed so fast. I mean, we were walking out of the school...No one was really around, acouple of people heading places ( like my friend), but it was not like it was middle of the school day or anything like that. You would think, he would've stayed w/ me..if he really wanted to get together...right?

After that, I was kind of like...man, he bailed so fast..wtf was that about. That was why I kind of started feeling like maybe it was my fault I didnt go after him....BUT, I know this probably sounds bad now a days but I was always told...never chase a guy; they chase you. Also, I guess in this situation...that would not really apply..simply because he has done a lot of "Chasing" already..but still...I just cant seem to make the first move w/him. I just cant do it.

Most of the time...I am always with a group of people. I realized that when we were alone was when, we really "talked" to each other. I dont want to just keep beating around the bush you know...but really neither of us, are every really up front about any of this.

But do you think its really the (Former-Student/teacher thing) that is holding him back from just telling me exactly how he feels, or do you just think he is that shy.

[LittleMissSunshi...]

it can be both.. you may never know if you don't ask him. if you want to have a relationship with him, all you have to do is be honest. ask him, do you like me or not. or get around there.. i don't know if anyone else can ask him, cause it would be weird telling one of his former students about his love life with another former student. so i think you should ask him or get around that topic..