EVERYONE READ AND REPLY IM SERIOUS! Options

[chloelovesyou]

so my sisters friend, who is about 23 wants to create a series of books, so heres the beginning of it! please reply if you like or not, and what she needs to work on:

the beginning:
Have you ever felt your life just completely fall apart, like there is no way out of the hole your in and its explanding and the roots are growing. just when you finally get enough strength to climb to the opening, and not just the opening to opening of life, of a new start it just pushes you back down to where to started. Welcome to my soul. Most of my life has been acting like the glass is half full, and really its not. for so long ive been covering up so many secrets,so many lies so many dreams that i thought people would laugh of me stating them, and the truth is they will laugh at them. My life is a complete udder mistake, but i still live it, and my friends still dont know how i feel, and espessially my parents, and espessially not. <b>him</b>. No one knew about what i did when no one was watching, or what i was hiding.....

[brooklyneast05]

sounds like every other series of books written for teenage girls so far. i hope it improves!

my life is a mess and no one understands me.


original

[chloelovesyou]

^^^^^yeah when i first listen to it^^^^^^
heres more of the idea around what shes hiding, tell if you like it
NEW UPDATE:
my name was Jordyn smith, i was turning 17 in the fall and, I lived in a small town outside of Las Vegas.
Small town secrets, is what was described.
Vegas was my hometown, its were i felt the joy and excitement of the parties, strippers, gamblers, and casinos. My name known there was lillian storm. every night i would linger down the stairs to my garage, put the key of ignition and drive around 8 miles to Las Vegas, were i could know i fit in, and everyone would love me as lillian storm, the girl that was always found sliding down the poles.

[itshaleyhun]

I really like it.
it sounds interesting. Tell her to keep writing.
i'd love to read more.