omg what do i do Options

[Elba]

Okay so my ex and I have been broken up for over a month now, but we still talk and it still feels like we're together.

Now there's this guy in my geology class that I just barely knew existed yesterday after he started emailing me when I mass emailed everyone the notes I had for the class. He found me on myspace and added me and now he's saying we should hang out.

Wtf I am still talking to the ex but my myspace says I am single but I am DEF not ready to mingle and I do not want to stop talking to the ex and I feel like even talking to this guy is like not very nice to the ex and I don't know what to do.

Plus, this guy is white and whities are definitely not my type, but he's attractive. Actually, I don't know if he's attractive, he looks cute?

ms

[Insurmountable]

He looks just like this guy that is the manager of this pizza place in the mall I work at. He's nice, and very complimentive, I don't think thats a word. So I guess hes attractive? I mean I don't really look at others guys as attractive or not xD

But I mean, do you have plans of getting back together with your ex? If so, does he want to get back together with you? I mean if you both don't have plans of ever getting back together, then I would say to get unattached from your ex, so you aren't so closed off to others.

But even if you don't want to get back together with your ex, and you aren't over him yet. And don't want to date, then I don't think you should get to caught up in anything and just tell the guy that you don't want to hang out. Or you could always just ignore him, hah.

[Elba]

We've talked about getting back together, and we have both agreed that we'd like to get back together someday, but that isn't going to be happening in the near future.

How do I tell the guy "hey thanks for the offer but I'm still with my ex and I can't hang out cause he'll be pissed".

[brooklyneast05]

How do I tell the guy "hey thanks for the offer but I'm still with my ex and I can't hang out cause he'll be pissed".

how do you not get extremely annoyed at this? i would go crazy because i think that attitude is annoying. if i'm not "with" someone then they can get the f**k over if i wanna go do something. they can't have their cake and eat it too.

ELBA YOU'RE STILL ON A LEASH.

[Elba]

Well, he will be upset and he wont talk to me and he'll just let me go. But I still want to talk to the ex and I am not interested in meeting another guy.

At the same time, I may just be wasting my time, eh? I don't know...

[AngryBaby]

I think...........f**k it, mingle. your just "hanging out". its not like your joining a circle jerk elba.

[Elba]

But I don't hang out with anyone!

[brooklyneast05]

i duno. it just seems to me like you're wasting too much of your time chasing him around. if something as simple as hanging out with someone is enough to make him ignore you and "let go", then i guess i'd just be seriously questioning how much he really cares. if he doesn't really care, then i don't really understand what you're hanging around for or why you're worried about loyality-like issues.

it seems like just a circumstance when you've been around/with someone so long that they are integrated into your life. even if it's not really that great anymore, you still don't know what to do without it.

[AngryBaby]

But I don't hang out with anyone!

how lame lol

[Kay-]

Ok wow, you just said that you're not interested in seeing anyone else. Doesn't that answer it? DON'T SEE ANYONE!! Jeeze. If you want to see someone, see someone. If you don't, don't.
As for the ex? Talk to him about getting back together and if you guys don't want to get back together then talk to him about seeing other people. And if it would be ok with him.
If he says some sh*t like "If you see other people or flirt with other people i won't be happy about it" Then tell him to f*ck off cuz he doesn't want to be with you anyways.
Don't let him make all the decisions. You should wear the pants in the relationship!! Or friendship..

[AngryBaby]

i don't see why ya'll cant chill, poor guy.

[rnicron]

But I don't hang out with anyone!

Because Peanut won't let you. You are the most foolish person I know for still messing with him.

[Elba]

Hey, I'm in love with Peanut, what do you want me to do?

Someone tell me what to message this guy on myspace.

This post has been edited by Elba: May 14 2008, 11:33 PM

[AngryBaby]

Hey, I'm in love with the guy, what do you want me to do?

Someone tell me what to message this guy on myspace.

you love the new guy? jeez that was quick, so go hang out with him!

[Kay-]

"sorry i just got out of a relationship, i don't really want to see anyone right now"
And i know what it's like to be in love, it'll be hard.

[Elba]

NO. There, I edited.

[rnicron]

No, she likes Almond, the prick.

[AngryBaby]

i know who you were talking about elba lol. i was just messing..

anywho! we all know you wanna do whitey, so you might as well get on with it, ill even close my eyes.

[Elba]

OMG EVAN!

Dude, I am about to send a message (at 12:20 a.m.) I am stuck on the part of explaining that I kind of have a boyfriend.

[stephinika]

Elbaaa, after all these things I've heard about Armond and how much has happened I thought you said that was done? =p Oh Elba..

[Elba]

I'll learn from all of this one day.

Oh that sucks, I wish she wasn't so strict about those deadlines. What threw me off is that she said to wait until the last week of classes to do the quiz, so I waited and then I just forgot. Yeah I usually just sat in the back of class by the door so I can be in and out quickly. I never go to PB I usually stay in the Southbay or East County. & about hanging out, I know my myspace says single but I am kind of in a relationship (& I say kind of because we're not together at the moment, but we had been for a few years now), and well he basically wouldn't be okay with that.

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: BC
Date: May 14, 2008 8:31 PM


Hah, I was just about to write you when I got your comment. Hey I was wondering... do you ever hang out in Pacific Beach at all? That's where I live and I was thinking we should hang out sometime. I still can't believe you were in my class that whole time and I never saw you lol.

Anyways, yea I hear you about that class... It was super easy and I should of got a better grade then I did. I missed those first two online assignments because I tried doing them the day there were due thinking that was acceptable.<br style="display:none"/>

How does that sound?

This post has been edited by Elba: May 15 2008, 02:35 AM

[Melissa]

Oh, Elba.

If you seriously don't want to hang out with this guy, don't, but don't let your actions be pulled around by what your ex wants or doesn't want you to do. You're not together right now, therefore, you should be able to do what you want. Even when you ARE together, you shouldn't let him control you like this. It really isn't healthy.

[transcendentalis...]

Wtf I am still talking to the ex but my myspace says I am single but I am DEF not ready to mingle and I do not want to stop talking to the ex and I feel like even talking to this guy is like not very nice to the ex and I don't know what to
do.ms

elba, your ex really seems to have treated you like shit. i mean, i can't say for sure because i don't know all the little details, but he's hurt you a whole lot and you don't deserve to be with someone who'd do that to you.

so what if talking to someone else would get your ex all pissy? it's over - or at least for now, and you guys don't intend on getting back together in the near future... so leave him be. letting him influence you like this is just slowing down the process of getting over him.

(you do want to get over him, right? at least partially?)

if this potential guy is worth the time, you can just explain to him that you're still getting over your ex and would rather not be involved for a while. if he's a decent guy, he'll understand. or at least, he'll understand eventually.

[LoveToMySilas]

I personally don't know anything about you and your boyfriend but if you're not ready then yeah, save the hanging out for some other time. Guys and girls will always come ago, that includes your potential crush and your ex. You should be able to do what you want.

[pinacoolada]

Well if you're broken up as of now then I think he has no right to get mad.
Don't make him feel lik you're HIS property, because you're not. He won't just forget it if you go and hang out with someone else. I think it would even make him want you more and make him realize that he doesn't have you all to himself anymore.

But also, make sure you're not just hanging out with other guys to make him jealous etc. etc. That's just mean. But if you ever meet another guy you're genuinely interested in, don't let him hold you back.

[ersatz]

f**k Armond duuuuude.

Why are you still in love with him? What is redeeming about him? You might just be in love with his former self, when he wasn't such an a-hole...

[Glamourouz]

Ok, well I don't know you or anything about your situation but from what I've heard by reading your post, you are being quite stupid. You are allowing your ex to control your decisions. If you continue to let the thought or hope of you two getting back together keep you from finding someone that's going to treat you any better you are going to keep putting yourself through a cycle and you'll never be truly happy. How can you honestly be ok with this? Yea, if you have been with someone for years it will be hard to let go & move on, but you should always give yourself the option to hang out with someone else. You don't even have to call it a date and just make it known that you just got out of a relationship & not ready to let someone else feel that spot yet. Always keep your options open. Your ex could continuously screw you over just because he knows he has you wrapped around his finger. He can tell you anything & you'll believe it because of the history but you'll be back where you are now. Just a thought...Don't let him hold you back from finding happiness elsewhere...

[aaayotiffany]

well, you're single. you can still hang out with him, you guys are just friends anyways. and your ex, you guys are broken up. he shouldn't have that leash on you anymore. lol, not saying you're whupped i'm just saying you don't have that line anymore that you can't cross.

just remember, you and that white buddy are just friends for now. and if he tries something, just set him straight and let him know you're not ready or don't want to get into anything.

[alyssa6789]

"I can't hang out cause he'll be pissed".

that sentance right there you should end it now. if he doesnt like you hanging out with other guys when your not even going out with him then thats wrong.

you said your not going to get bck together to the near future sometimes thats basically never.

if a guy wants to hang out with you hang out with him cause i dont see anything happening with your ex. if your ex and you were meant to be than eventually something will happen but for now live live not tied down to some one that "your not getting back to the near future with.

who even knows he can be talking to other girls too you never no.

you said he doesnt seem like hes your tpe sometims the opposite what you think is your type really is your type.

so i think you shoulg get to know the new guy if things dont work out eventually hings ith your ex will work out if its mean to be.

[Elba]

You know what, this guy is making me realize what a turn off it is to be after some body so hard...

I am going to tone it down with Armond and play hard to get.

[Just_Dream]

But I don't hang out with anyone!

WHATTTTT?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That's it, when I get a car, things are going to be VERY DIFFERENT. Well, only because I'm a stalker.

[Elba]

lulz

[TiffanyFactorial]

what ruth & pinacoolada said. anyway, white boy is A CUTIE. no seriously, he's cute.

you really need to think about YOURSELF and not anyone else right now. i know it's selfish but you must think about yourself. you may love him but you must remember about yourself. there's this quote from sex & the city.

samantha recently got back with this guy who cheated on her and she was in love with him. she knew she couldn't trust him nor let him out of her sight. one day when they went on a trip to Atlantic City, every time he'd tell her that he would be in the room doing his work, she'd rush up to the stairs to make sure he wasn't banging the maid. then she blurted out to him:

"I'm sorry Richard. I love you but I love me more."

you gotta take into account for your feelings too. i know you don't want to lose him, but maybe you won't. be friends with him. take things slowly.

and this cutie pie white boy that's asking you to hang out, what if it's just a friendly hang out? and if anything, hang out with him if you're bored and you've got nothing else to do! maybe he'll help you get over all of this. don't use him as a rebound or anything and i know you said you dont want to hang out with anyone so play everything on your time frame. but make sure that you get YOU time and YOU get to relieve your woes by surrounding yourself with some good friends and try to have fun..without your ex.

best of luck! you're far too pretty to be dwelling over a boy. he should be dwelling over you.

[Joss-eh-lime]

put on a DGAF attitude about your ex and go hang out with the new guy.

[Mikael]

Guy. is your type. Ex. is ex.

Get yours. I have faith in you.