Older Brother Options

[novaj]

My older brother never calls home and rarely comes home...He's 23 and has a job, lives with gf, and has a job up north. But he never calls home or does anything with his family. Here are some instances: He never calls my mom on mother's day or buys a card for her or anything, he never calls home on my birthday or any occasion, graduation etc. He never buys us gifts for christmas, instead he buys stuff for all his friends...When he comes home he just spends all his time with his gf who lives in LA. I mean he sees her the whole year but during those few days home can't he stay with his family...geez. I don't know, I just don't feel connected with him and I sometimes forget I even have a brother truthfully...Is this normal for him, cause I hate him for this...putting friends and gf in front of family...when my grandma had surgery he didn't bother calling her or even when my dad went to the hospital...Is my brother distancing from us on purpose or what...


My parents work so hard to get him through college, and pay for his $40,000 car after college. And during last christmas my mom bought him the 200 jacket he wanted but when it was christmas day he didn't get my mom anything...but i thought he was when he said he was going christmas shopping, but when he came back he had tons of stuff but all of it were for his friends... I feel like he doesn't appreciate his family at all...He never calls my mom or dad on their birthdays nor on any holiday...I feel like this occured when he went to college and got his girl friend...I know he's busy but at least try to stay connected with family and care about them instead of constantly putting friends and girl friend in front of family...I think that's just wrong


I do tell him but he doesn't listen or just forgets right away...He doesn't even know how old I am or what grade i am in...And when he comes home he criticizes so much...I honestly hate my brother...I used to be close to him before he went to college and got a job ...srry but i just needed to vent...

[x-hotchocbun-x]

w8

how old is he?

&

i think you should face him and tell him about this problem

that's the best thing to do really !

[dispn0ygonekrazy]

people change, maybe he wanted to get away from family or hes going through a phase who knows. His friends and Gf may be the cause of lack of attention towards your family, but people get that way tend to put friends before family. Friends ain't always gonna be there, but your family will. If he becomes broke, homeless, or a low life you think his friends are gonna take him in and support him financially? Nope. He'll soon to realize that in the end family is all he has.

[Kay-]

Sorry hun, but maybe him and your parents had a fight and he doesn't want to see them anymore.

[ChangeofHeart]

w8

how old is he?

&

i think you should face him and tell him about this problem

that's the best thing to do really !

He is 23. It says that in the 1st sentence.

[aybaybay007]

he just dont give a f**k. hes one of those people. aka: a douchebag

[aaayotiffany]

whoa, what the fxck. people like that don't realize what they have. and even though he has a job and is "super busy" a call once in a while won't kill you, seriously. its your family, they were there first before the job, the girlfriend, and the independence. he's such a duck, seriously.

[Insurmountable]

I think you should tell him, and if you can't tell him to his face then write him a letter. From the sounds of it, he just doesn't see how good he has it. Or hes just feeding off everything he can get from his parents. I think its really disrespectful that he doesn't acknowledge his family at all though.

[moorepocket]

he wouldn't be where he is now without the help of his parents. Like could he afford a $40,000 car or college. He's not appreciative of the things other done for him. i think he is being ignorant and an a-hole on purpose.

[novaj]

I think he thinks that he's better than us now...I really do...he buys expensive clothes,goes out to eat with his gf a lot (in nice restaurants too) but last time when we went up there when he moved into his new apartment with his gf, he just left us in his apartment and went to watch a movie at the theater...and that was right after my mom bought him a new couch...and to dinner he just brought us to this cheap sushi place...and even still my parents had to pay...I'm not exaggerating any of this... at first I just let go all these events...but when I really thought about it...I wondered if other people did this...

[LoveToMySilas]

Yeah, I know how you feel. My sister is like that sometimes but she does come home and helps us out whenever she gets the chance to. As parents, I don't think your parents should say it because they're the ones who raised him and its just sad if he doesn't appreciate what he has. My mom doesn't live with me so she forgets when my birthday is or what school I go to or how old I am as well. If you can, find some time to confront and really put all of this in his face. Tell him everything that you've told us.

[ChangeofHeart]

He will learn what an ass he was when he has his own kids one day.

[karmakiller]

I would just suggest being blunt with him. I went through some drama with my brother, when the day after his 19th birthday he just packed up and left and didn't let anyone know he was leaving or where he was going. I held a grudge for a while, and his on again off again girlfriend didn't help the situation any. Do you get along with your brother's girlfriend? Because then I would suggest talking to her and letting her know how you feel and maybe she can remind him how important his family is. Just call him up, meet with him, or just pack up your family and go to his place, haha.