Men fall in love quicker..., hm Options

[Melissa]

We just learned in my psych class that men fall in love quicker than women, and women fall out of love quicker than men.

This surprised me.

Do you notice this ever?

[marielamuneka]

Noooo I dont think men fall in love quicker.. well maybe some men, but girls usually fall in love quicker.. you know what f**k it lol it goes both ways but ive never really notice all men fallin in love quicker..

[Glamourouz]

I beg to differ; I really believe it's the other way around, otherwise why would most females insist that "all men are dogs"...I've never witnessed guys falling quick; usually the female & then they act stupid, ask for advice, don't listen, & end up heartbroken; it gets on my nerves (sorry, I was venting about some stupid female friends relationship wise of mine)

[marielamuneka]

; usually the female & then they act stupid, ask for advice, don't listen, & end up heartbroken;

Hell yeah.. thats true.. but the guys who fall in love quick are the little junior high school boys and thats not even love you know..

[Melissa]

We propose a two-part generalization about sex differences in entering into and giving up romantic attachments: (1) Men tend to fall in love more readily than women; (2) women tend to fall out of love more readily than men. Evidence in support of these generalizations is derived from a longitudinal study of 231 college student dating couples. The data suggest that women are more cautious than men about entering into romantic relationships, more likely to compare these relationships to alternatives, more likely to end a relationship that seems ill fated, and better able to cope with rejection.

http://www.springerlink.com/content/m25366mx75784312/

[illriginal]

We just learned in my psych class that men fall in love quicker than women, and women fall out of love quicker than men.

This surprised me.

Do you notice this ever?

What?!?!

If females fall out of love quicker... then this forum board is a complete oxymoron.

Hell yeah.. thats true.. but the guys who fall in love quick are the little junior high school boys and thats not even love you know..

Seriously...


My mind thinks at a peaceful pace, I don't fall into love quickly... I need to realize everything about the person I'm with before I get on that level.


On top of that, I wonder if women will realize that majority of the men don't fall in love just because they say so, they want to fall into your panties, that's how they use the word, "LOVE" =\

But then again, this isn't even a national research, do an international poll or study, then make the general claim :P

[Melissa]

The data suggest that women are more cautious than men about entering into romantic relationships, more likely to compare these relationships to alternatives, more likely to end a relationship that seems ill fated, and better able to cope with rejection.

That's actually true for me.

I think the "in love" and "out of love" they're talking about is more of a relationship/romance-love, not the idealistic love that everybody has put up on some pedestal in their heads.

Hm, I mean, I guess I do notice that guys are more quick to get into relationships whereas women are a little more picky.

[illriginal]

That's actually true for me.

I think the "in love" and "out of love" they're talking about is more of a relationship/romance-love, not the idealistic love that everybody has put up on some pedestal in their heads.

Hm, I mean, I guess I do notice that guys are more quick to get into relationships whereas women are a little more picky.

There's two different types of love? o.O

Men are more quick to get into relationships cuz well... you got something they like. But to claim that they fall into love quicker than females... lol there's just too many objections to this.

Love is on a level of life and death. Are you willin to sacrifice your life for your significant other? No? Then please shut the f**k up, you're not in love.


/rant

P.S. I wasn't tellin you to shut the f**k up... just sayin in general.

[Melissa]

There's a pretty big discrepancy as to what love really is. People can go on for ages about what they think love is. What you're talking about is something that poets have been going on and on about over and over through the years.

According to my psych professor however, psychologists try to distinguish among the different types of love. There's the intimacy, vs. passion, vs. commitment road, then there's the romantic/passionate love vs. companionate love. The love that this study is talking about is described as "a wildly emotional state [in which] tender and sexual feelings, elation and pain, anxiety and relief, altruism and jealousy coexist in a confusion of feelings." Apparently, men are more susceptible to this type of love than women.

//edit - lol, i'm glad you're not telling me to STFU, bc in that case, I would've had to have been like GTFO my faccee

[illriginal]

There's a pretty big discrepancy as to what love really is. People can go on for ages about what they think love is. What you're talking about is something that poets have been going on and on about over and over through the years.

According to my psych professor however, psychologists try to distinguish among the different types of love. There's the intimacy, vs. passion, vs. commitment road, then there's the romantic/passionate love vs. companionate love. The love that this study is talking about is described as "a wildly emotional state [in which] tender and sexual feelings, elation and pain, anxiety and relief, altruism and jealousy coexist in a confusion of feelings." Apparently, men are more susceptible to this type of love than women.

=\ I go by God's description of Love... and anything that closely resembles love would be lust... never heard of multiple types of love, tell your psychologist to drop the lesson of love, he's only helpin love seem more complicated than what it really is.

[marielamuneka]

Seriously...


My mind thinks at a peaceful pace, I don't fall into love quickly... I need to realize everything about the person I'm with before I get on that level.


On top of that, I wonder if women will realize that majority of the men don't fall in love just because they say so, they want to fall into your panties, that's how they use the word, "LOVE" =\

But then again, this isn't even a national research, do an international poll or study, then make the general claim :P

mhmmmmmmm ; pero if you give it up to a guy mad easy you cant really take him serious if he says he loves you i mean he loves the pussy you gave him not you..girls give it up to easy and expect to be loved truly because of that. wtf - i mean if a guy says i love you within a week or something after dating/getting to know him i really wouldnt believe him unless i knew him before we 'officially got together' but i wouldnt really believe him, i would be cautious cause to some girls the word i love you is the open button for their pussy.. honestly if a guy says i love you to quick to me i think like damn you fall in love fast i wonder how many girls you said i love you to before..

with me i knew my boyfriend about 3 or 4 months before going 'offically' out with him we were friends and i fell in love with him i never told him but then after spending more time together i can tell he fell in love with me and we talked about it and decided to go out two days before his birthday its now been 7 months im still in love with him im still getting to know him and i love it because gettig to know a person while your together its great you learn new things about each other i just hate how people claim they love someone and the next day they dont.. wtf is that about feelings dont change overnight

i hate seeing junior high school kids going out with each other saying oh i love you so much and then when they break up they go out with someone else and then claim they love them too i swear ill break a lil kids head next time i see that.. lol it gets me mad i mean sure its easy to say i love you but what about showing it.. people want to be in love so bad that they dont even know what it is
and they say it to whoever and that shit kills me

love is not a word for games is not for little kids saying i love you when you dont mean it truly can really destroy a person ive known people who f**ked up their own lives because guys lied about loving them.. and girls lied too.

i just dont understand how someone can fall in love quickly..i still find myself falling more in love with my bf every now and then.. love is not only with words, if your gonna say it to someone i mean..be real about it. if you dont, you dont.. if you just wanna say it because they said it - dont let me hear about that. lol

wtf, im rambling on and on. i have to much energy from kick boxing.


- edit;

its not proven, but homosexual relationships move a lot faster than heterosexual relationships. In my opinion.

well what type of relationship you talkin bout? a sexual relationship or a commited relationship? Sexual? lol dont need to say anything about that. but in a commited relationships its really the same but some of them just move quicker into it thats normal because with straight people some of us move faster in a relationship than others.

ive seen some move slowly..and move quickly.

[LoveToMySilas]

Hmm, in a way I kind of agree with that. Guys don't really fall unless they really like the person. Girls just get bored more easily than guys do and guys are usually very committed to the girl if he really feels for her. Thats my outlook on things, did that make sense?

[illriginal]

Heh.. it's funny cuz I've only experienced majority of the girls I been with some how fallin in love with me from within 2 weeks to 2 months... and I just wonder how or what the hell did I do for them to all of a sudden fall for me. I dunno, oh well

[mizzkewl06]

We just learned in my psych class that men fall in love quicker than women, and women fall out of love quicker than men.

This surprised me.

Do you notice this ever?

i think this is true. i had a friend who was with this guy for almost 2 years and he was first to say he loved her and when they broke up she got over him way quicker than he got over her. i've seen this happen lots of times. most people don't notice because girls are a lot more open about their feelings than guys are.

[illriginal]

Yeah but there's too many variables... too many different scenarios, to make such an audacious claim.

[karmakiller]

I think girls fall out of love pretty fast. I see a lot of girls that can get over an ex with only one date with Ben and Jerry and then they're good to go out and get back at it.

Who really knows which sex falls in love faster? I think that generally, we all go by the stereotype that women are more emotional than men, and therefore fall in love faster than men. It all depends on the person.

[illriginal]

It all depends on the person.

exactly. so that claim sucks.

[marielamuneka]

I think girls fall out of love pretty fast. I see a lot of girls that can get over an ex with only one date with Ben and Jerry and then they're good to go out and get back at it.

Who really knows which sex falls in love faster? I think that generally, we all go by the stereotype that women are more emotional than men, and therefore fall in love faster than men. It all depends on the person.

But some guys can go out and f**k with girls and f**k them right after you break up.. and some girls sit around crying like worthless lil piece of shits.

and also

some girls go out to clubs, partys and whatever to get "him" off her mind.. and the guy is around feeling sorry for himself

so it goes both ways the only way to tell is gather every person whos been in a relationship/in love before and score the results and we'll know but that will never happen, so it just depends..

[illriginal]

But some guys can go out and f**k with girls and f**k them right after you break up.. and some girls sit around crying like worthless lil piece of shits.

and also

some girls go out to clubs, partys and whatever to get "him" off her mind.. and the guy is around feeling sorry for himself

so it goes both ways the only way to tell is gather every person whos been in a relationship/in love before and score the results and we'll know but that will never happen, so it just depends..

yeah that study was done in his classes... was it even the whole campus? regardless... there's still a whole world to study =\

[karmakiller]

Lol, a whole world survey. It will only take years and years to complete, and by the time we all find out the results of it we'll be grandparents and it won't matter anymore.

[marielamuneka]

Lol, a whole world survey. It will only take years and years to complete, and by the time we all find out the results of it we'll be grandparents and it won't matter anymore.

^ Heh..exactly. so we'll never know the true answer.

@ illmortal
yeah that study was done in his classes... was it even the whole campus? regardless... there's still a whole world to study =\

Yeah but that was based on college/or hs students. I mean..blah thats one survey done in one state. Everyones different..

[Melissa]

Tama: Why don't you read more articles about it before you completely reject it as an "audacious claim." You just read a statement I took out of my textbook and are really blowing it out of proportion. You're so certain about some Hell at the core of the earth and so quick to reject something printed in reputable scientific journals and textbooks - what background do you have to make such assertions? You dispute what other people say outright without even checking up on your background. I didn't say anything about your Hellhole at the core of Earth until I went online and did some extra research. You can personally disagree with something, but until you have something to prove it wrong (something concrete, not just you saying shit because you're oh-so-sure you're correct), I can't really take you seriously.

And of course it varies from person to person. A study just generalizes the actions of a group of people and apparently, results were statistically significant enough to write a report on it. It's as if I reported the results of the Milgram experiment to you and you told me it's bullshit just because everybody's different. Of course people are different. The point is that there was enough of a single, shocking result to make a difference and therefore make a claim.

And I'm not even going to get into God because he has nothing to do with anything I posted before.

[marielamuneka]

And of course it varies from person to person. A study just generalizes the actions of a group of people and apparently, results were statistically significant enough to write a report on it. It's as if I reported the results of the Milgram experiment to you and you told me it's bullshit just because everybody's different. Of course people are different. The point is that there was enough of a single, shocking result to make a difference and therefore make a claim.

So how many people were involved in this survey anyway ?
Do you know?

[illriginal]

Because... your claim is too far-fetch.. or not your claim but the professor's. Culture, region, ethnics, religion, did these people even fall in love? Do they even know what love is? The list goes on.... lol you can't generalize the human race like that, there's too many variables.

I read the article... I laughed at it.

Just because we analyze American students in a specific campus... doesn't mean the rest of the world is gonna follow through with the same results, that's just horrifically laughable, to death.

No one has to research this... this is a big laugh. It's generalizing the human race as a whole for goodness sake. Unless you're Hitler's soul stuck in a female's body, then please I'm sorry, you're sooo right, don't put me in the oven

[mizzkewl06]

hmm... just because you're out doing stuff with other people doesn't mean you're not in love anymore. if you break up that doesn't automatically make you not be in love anymore. guys can pretend/claim that they're over it (as well as girls), and screw whoever but that doesn't necessarily mean that they are no longer in love.

[marielamuneka]

hmm... just because you're out doing stuff with other people doesn't mean you're not in love anymore. if you break up that doesn't automatically make you not be in love anymore. guys can pretend/claim that they're over it (as well as girls), and screw whoever but that doesn't necessarily mean that they are no longer in love.

not that they are no longer in love..with them just that they dont care enough about them and they go out and f**k chicks/guys and shit.. they do stupid things. but doing things like that causes people to think you dont love them anymore

[Melissa]

Because... your claim is too far-fetch.. or not your claim but the professor's. Culture, region, ethnics, religion, did these people even fall in love? Do they even know what love is? The list goes on.... lol you can't generalize the human race like that, there's too many variables.

I read the article... I laughed at it.

Just because we analyze American students in a specific campus... doesn't mean the rest of the world is gonna follow through with the same results, that's just horrifically laughable, to death.

No one has to research this... this is a big laugh. It's generalizing the human race as a whole for goodness sake. Unless you're Hitler's soul stuck in a female's body, then please I'm sorry, you're sooo right, don't put me in the oven

lol, it's useless to argue with you since you're obviously so single-minded that you don't even bother to look at the whole picture. You're so stuck in your idealistic definition of love that you can't even see that what they're talking about is not your poetic, Godly, what-have-you type of love, but the tendency to get into relationships.

And please, that wasn't the article. It was an abstract.

And the claim isn't mine nor my professor's. It was made in '76 (I believe) and hasn't been disputed to be false yet.

[illriginal]

lol, it's useless to argue with you since you're obviously so single-minded that you don't even bother to look at the whole picture. You're so stuck in your idealistic definition of love that you can't even see that what they're talking about is not your poetic, Godly, what-have-you type of love, but the tendency to get into relationships.

And please, that wasn't the article. It was an abstract.

And the claim isn't mine nor my professor's. It was made in '76 (I believe) and hasn't been disputed to be false yet.

Psychology is just psychology. You can't read a person's mind... you can't tell if they're tellin truth, how can it hold truth when the study would have to be done every year on every person. Time changes, culture changes, generations in general change... my only argument is simply that, "there's too many variables to make that statement legitimately true" bah I give up... I'm not even tryin to argue, I'm being as realistic as possible and you're tellin me different.

[Melissa]

win!

jk. I get what you're saying, I just disagree. Everybody has different opinions, I just think it's fun pinpointing yours since you posted after like... every individual post. This was never meant to get into a god/psychology discussion. lol. I was just studying for my midterm, thought that statement was interesting, and decided to post it up.

[AimeeLynn]

I might actually agree with this. So many of my guys friends had girl friends and majority of them the girl dumps the guy not the other way around. I think when the boy dumps the girl is only if the guy is a man whore lol.

But again it just depends on the person.

[superstitious]

Oh I'm not sure about that. From what I've seen, it's quite the opposite. At least it's like that for a while. Now, if a guy even starts muttering anything resembling "love", I run. I run far, I run fast. I just get the hell out. hahaha

[AimeeLynn]

^Not being mean or anything but I agree.

[aaayotiffany]

with the people i know, i've always known for guys to fall for the girl first. this happened to a lot of my guy friends, they supposedly "fell" for the girl, but then later on, dumps her.

like this good friend of mine was dating my best friend and he was the first to say 'i love you', she was always iffy about it and they were going out for almost 2 years, but then he dumped her because he fell "out of love" with her. so it really varies.

but a lot of my guy friends are whores. lol. so i think my comment doesn't count. but personally, i think it just depends on the person. i also heard that if a guy says 'i love you' supposedly he really means it and i heard that supposedly it means that he loves the girl more.

[Tramatize]

I've only fallen in love once, I am still young though.
But I did fall in love fast. Like the third time I hung out with her.

[Joss-eh-lime]

yeah i have noticed this

but it depends on what kind of love.
talking about fun "love ya" hugs&kisses love, then yes i believe men do
but live together forever marriage love, well, women probably fall into that kind of love faster.

I think when the boy dumps the girl is only if the guy is a man whore lol.

omg i so agree with you! haha thankss that made my day

[Sprague]

The data suggest that women are more cautious than men about entering into romantic relationships, more likely to compare these relationships to alternatives, more likely to end a relationship that seems ill fated, and better able to cope with rejection.

This seems very plausible to me. Several women, not generalizing to all the women, are very cautious about entering relationships because they always have their past relationships at the back of their head. What if this won't work, or what if there's someone better, or what if I'm not ready to settle down? Several men, on the other hand, skip into several different relationships after one crashes and burns. Though a lot of my male friends spent a ridiculous amount of time mourning after their lost girlfriend.

Although, there are some women who find it difficult to cope with the loss of a male significant other, as well. So like its been reiterated in this thread, it all varies on the type of person they are. But I do generally agree with what your psychology text book says.

[cmac]

Hmm, "----" I wouldn't exactly say guys fall in love quicker but in my opinion, and in my experience- its always the guy who slips the 4 letter word first.

[towntown2]

I can't speak for other girls and boys on this board..

But I personally fall out of love quicker than my partners.
Out of like at least.

[datass]

i've read or heard somewhere that when a guy loves a girl, he loves the girl more than the girl loves the guy.

[hi-C]

I can definitely believe the findings. My (ex-)boyfriend has been telling me he loves me for months. He's suggested/asked me a couple of times to marry him, each time I've said something to the effect of "HELL NAW, I'M NOT READY FOR THAT SHIT." I told him again last night. And then he hung up on me, basically.