A song I made(its Rough darft) |
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 Apr 7 2008, 04:02 PM
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#1
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 Senior Member  Group: Member Posts: 152 Joined: Mar 2008 Member No: 636,188  |
I wrote this song for my boo..its a rough draft
I record this on a radio shack mic and cool edit pro. so the quality isn't good, but its decent...its a very simple song http://www.zshare.net/audio/10192888c9a9b93f/ note. i'm not a singer... [/center]seconds, minutes and hours its ben ours a sugar rush how you lighten up the sour- Brighten my world up cuhz your beautiful then spring flowers- juicing thoughts about you takes no concentration boo I’m thinking about you.. I’ll wipe away your tears, things gonna be alright I promise I’ll be here, you don’t gotta fear I’ll be the light that’s steer you clear I need you like the air that we breathing Be the one to hold you close through the season Your the reason why love never gets old You’re the pot of gold seen below the rainbows Every where I go, the world turn If I got you to hold Never change my dime, loven you one heart beat at a time I gotta seize these envious RUMORS my love grows bigga like numerous tumors haters they jealous that they never found a wifey type in a lover Discover your friends talking shit, they just haters undercover babay[center] watcha think?... |
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Apr 7 2008, 04:10 PM
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#2
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 I'm Jc Group: Mentor Posts: 13,619 Joined: Jul 2006 Member No: 437,556 |
the numerous tumors part was kinda weird.
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Apr 7 2008, 04:12 PM
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#3
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 metalmouth hoee Group: Member Posts: 786 Joined: Aug 2007 Member No: 566,794 |
the rhythm is a little quirky, but otherwise i like it.
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Apr 7 2008, 04:15 PM
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#4
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Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 152 Joined: Mar 2008 Member No: 636,188 |
QUOTE(brooklyneast05 @ Apr 7 2008, 04:10 PM)  the numerous tumors part was kinda weird. I was reaching for that multi in that one ... |
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Apr 7 2008, 04:17 PM
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#5
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Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 152 Joined: Mar 2008 Member No: 636,188 |
QUOTE(chocokissez @ Apr 7 2008, 04:12 PM) the rhythm is a little quirky, but otherwise i like it. 
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Apr 7 2008, 04:33 PM
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#6
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 Senior Member Group: Official Member Posts: 6,349 Joined: Aug 2006 Member No: 455,274 |
I know this may be difficult (was for me) try to align the words so whatever rhymes has a the same amount of words between the next word that'll rhyme. You'll might want to add/remove words and replace them with much better synonyms.
A - - - - - - A - - - - - B - - - - - - B - - - C - - - - - - C - - - Etc... ^ That's what I would call a perfectionist hip hop artist. Listen to Binary Star if you haven't. They make hip hop beautifully. |
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Apr 7 2008, 04:38 PM
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#7
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Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 152 Joined: Mar 2008 Member No: 636,188 |
QUOTE(Tamacracker @ Apr 7 2008, 04:33 PM) I know this may be difficult (was for me) try to align the words so whatever rhymes has a the same amount of words between the next word that'll rhyme. You'll might want to add/remove words and replace them with much better synonyms. A - - - - - - A - - - - - B - - - - - - B - - - C - - - - - - C - - - Etc... ^ That's what I would call a perfectionist hip hop artist. Listen to Binary Star if you haven't. They make hip hop beautifully. thanks for the feed back homie...I'll fix it when I hit an actuall studio when I have a break from school...and i'll give binary star a listen... |
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Apr 7 2008, 04:43 PM
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#8
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Senior Member Group: Official Member Posts: 6,349 Joined: Aug 2006 Member No: 455,274 |
QUOTE(j4ye @ Apr 7 2008, 05:38 PM) thanks for the feed back homie...I'll fix it when I hit an actuall studio when I have a break from school...and i'll give binary star a listen... Another good source of samples/examples are poems themselves. Poetry is the most elegant element of spitting lyrically. |
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Apr 7 2008, 04:46 PM
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#9
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Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 152 Joined: Mar 2008 Member No: 636,188 |
I use to write poetry..thats how i got into music...
my homeboy, he spit mad metaphors and vicious punchline..dood deep..and hes only 16.. |
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Apr 7 2008, 04:56 PM
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#10
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Senior Member Group: Official Member Posts: 6,349 Joined: Aug 2006 Member No: 455,274 |
QUOTE(j4ye @ Apr 7 2008, 05:46 PM) I use to write poetry..thats how i got into music... my homeboy, he spit mad metaphors and vicious punchline..dood deep..and hes only 16.. Niiiice |
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Apr 7 2008, 04:58 PM
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#11
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Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 152 Joined: Mar 2008 Member No: 636,188 |
i'll post up some of his music, when he release his mixtape..
right now he's in Cali recording it... |
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