heartbreak. Options

[weed]

i found my boyfriends secret myspace, i saw him flirting with other girls and saying this like " i cant wait to see you" and "i hope you dnt mind im flirting"..

my heart is torn. i cant explain this feeling. It just hurts.

please make this stop.

[Tung]

it's just myspace. and online flirting. is he flirting irl with these people though? that I would be concern about.

stupid myspace dramas lawls.

[weed]

tung its not funny. im f**king crying. and i feel really shitty.

[Tung]

i'm just saying. if he's just online flirting, and not flirting in person with them, I see nothing wrong with it. nothing so serious to cry over. remember

"no dick is ever worth that"

[weed]

three years. its been three years, how is he going to do this to me.

[Tung]

so did you guys break up?

[RissyMel]

I would either, 1. dump his sorry but.
or
2. get revenge, then talk.


probably not helping, but I'm trying.
I hope this all gets worked out.

[Tung]

I would either, 1. dump his sorry but.
or
2. get revenge, then talk.
probably not helping, but I'm trying.
I hope this all gets worked out.

have you ever be in a relationship? if not. refer to this thread.

http://www.createblog.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=196979

[RissyMel]

Yes, I am right now actually.
For a little over a year, thanks.

[weed]

we havent broken up. He wants to stay together but i have no clue if thats what i want. I calmed down ALOT after i talked to my mom.

I still feel like shit.

Its easier to say "yea just dump his ass" than actually do it, after 3 years, you dont know whats what in the world of single people.

[Heathasm]

wow im so sorry :[ what a jerk...but i cant say that i would leave my bf if he did the same to me...

there are some things you are just better off not knowing about :\

[weed]

Im actually glad i know, because not only will this make me less vulnerable next time but it shows me exactly what his priorities are.

I just wish it wouldnt hurt so bad....

[CapCaDancer]

I'm really sorry. =/
What did he have to say about it?
That's just terrible, I'm so sorry it happened to you. Has he ever done anything like that before?

[weed]

I'm really sorry. =/
What did he have to say about it?
That's just terrible, I'm so sorry it happened to you. Has he ever done anything like that before?

all he did was cry and apologize.

no he's never done anything like this before that i know of...

[Tung]

wow, it's not like he kissed another girl, or remotely touched them. guys will flirt, it's just in their nature. geezus. you are being too emo about this shit. cmon. he flirted with other girls ONLINE especially on MYSPACE. that's just laughable.

heartbroken? lmao.

[CapCaDancer]

Personally, I think you are not being emo.
You have every right to be upset.

Well, ONE thing tung was saying I agree with -
At least he wasn't physically interacting with girls. Maybe the myspace thing was a way for him to vent, so that he would never cheat on you in real life. Maybe? He just needed an outlet for something, I don't know, and instead of hurting you (well, I know he did hurt you, but you know what i mean) he created that myspace to get it out of his system.

And if he hasn't done anything like that in the 3 years...I see no reason to break it all off unless it continues.

Hope I'm helping. =/

[weed]

Long ago, men went to sea, and women waited for them, standing on the edge of the water, scanning the horizon for the tiny ship. Now I wait for Henry. He vanishes unwillingly, without warning. I wait for him. Each moment that I wait feels like a year, an eternity. Each moment is as slow and transparent as glass. Through each moment I can see infinite moments lined up, waiting. Why has he gone where I cannot follow?
- The Time Traveler's Wife

i hope you never feel like i do right now tung. you must really not have a f**king clue.

[CapCaDancer]

Aw, I'm glad you like that quote.
I'm....not gonna say anything about Tung. =X

[Tung]

of course i have a f**king clue. and of course i've been heartbroken before. but over actual things that have way more meaning to online myspace shit. i've been in 4 relationships, and i can tell you. one of my gf was wayy to emotional about the simplest things and overreact to small things I did, like if I have a conversation with another girl in public, or if I hung out with another female friend. she wouldn't even let me have girls on my aim buddy list.

so you say you been with him for 3 years now? are you in love with him? would you consider the relationship to be possessive love?

i know this is probably the first thing he ever did that you might feel insecure about, so I understand why you might feel "heartbroken" I think you are more just upset and have a sense of jealousy feelings in there. I'm sorry to hear about what you have to deal with, but the fact of the matter is, what he did isn't as nearly as bad as you think.

[CapCaDancer]

It's not pointless myspace crap.

It doesn't matter if it's myspace or not.

It's the fact that he made a secret account purely to flirt with other girls. Who cares if it's myspace, xanga, or anything else. A different screenname. It's not possessiveness she's demonstrating. It's shock, betrayal...confusion? After 3 solid years, if I found that my boyfriend had a secret account to flirt with girls, I'd be worried, too.

>.<
But then again. I'm speaking for her. Sorry, danceenaked.

Just expressing what I think.

[weed]

of course i have a f**king clue. and of course i've been heartbroken before. but over actual things that have way more meaning to online myspace shit. i've been in 4 relationships, and i can tell you. one of my gf was wayy to emotional about the simplest things and overreact to small things I did, like if I have a conversation with another girl in public, or if I hung out with another female friend. she wouldn't even let me have girls on my aim buddy list.

so you say you been with him for 3 years now? are you in love with him? would you consider the relationship to be possessive love?

i know this is probably the first thing he ever did that you might feel insecure about, so I understand why you might feel "heartbroken" I think you are more just upset and have a sense of jealousy feelings in there. I'm sorry to hear about what you have to deal with, but the fact of the matter is, what he did isn't as nearly as bad as you think.

wow okay.
I dont feel like going into details as to what those messages said but you'd figure if you've been with someone that long and everyday they tell you they love you then you find out your significant other spits game to other girls and talks to other females in a more than friendly disrespectful way. It kills me tung it kills me because it completely caught me off guard and i never expected this from him.

i TRUSTED him...

Do you really think im over reacting? Do you really think i dont have the right to be upset?

[Tung]

of course I believe you have the right to be upset. but like I said. this is probably the first time he ever done something hurtful to you like this, and you don't know how to react, and it's understandable. it won't help to cry about it and rant about it here. keep talking to him about it, and express how you are feeling. if you still want to be with him, try to talk about how you guys can work it out. if you think what he did was too hurtful to take back, then I would consider breaking up or taking time off with each other. give it some weeks and see how it is.

[weed]

of course I believe you have the right to be upset. but like I said. this is probably the first time he ever done something hurtful to you like this, and you don't know how to react, and it's understandable. it won't help to cry about it and rant about it here. keep talking to him about it, and express how you are feeling. if you still want to be with him, try to talk about how you guys can work it out. if you think what he did was too hurtful to take back, then I would consider breaking up or taking time off with each other. give it some weeks and see how it is.

Thank you.

Now boys listen and learn,

Im sure none of you are familiar with the cranberries but man arent they great.

[shoryuken]

onlioneee flirtt n crush..

girl get mad when there crush flirt with otha girl online.. for real..

[vietbabiiix3]

of course i have a f**king clue. and of course i've been heartbroken before. but over actual things that have way more meaning to online myspace shit. i've been in 4 relationships, and i can tell you. one of my gf was wayy to emotional about the simplest things and overreact to small things I did, like if I have a conversation with another girl in public, or if I hung out with another female friend. she wouldn't even let me have girls on my aim buddy list.

so you say you been with him for 3 years now? are you in love with him? would you consider the relationship to be possessive love?

i know this is probably the first thing he ever did that you might feel insecure about, so I understand why you might feel "heartbroken" I think you are more just upset and have a sense of jealousy feelings in there. I'm sorry to hear about what you have to deal with, but the fact of the matter is, what he did isn't as nearly as bad as you think.

I think your posts aren't really helping her. You're not a girl, and of course everyone has their insecurities. What is online versus outside? Don't we all have like "virtual lives" nowadays? How would you know if he doesn't go out and say that to girls?

Girl, you have a right to be upset.

[weed]

onlioneee flirtt n crush..

girl get mad when there crush flirt with otha girl online.. for real..

LISTEN PIECE OF SHIT, GTFO MY f**kING THREAD, I DONT NEED YOUR ANNOYING ASS HERE RIGHT NOW. BITCH. GO DIE. AND ITS NOT A f**kING CRUSH.

Girl, you have a right to be upset.

hell yes i do. I just wish someone would tell me what to do so i wont care and it wont hurt.

[vietbabiiix3]

Listen, you need to just stop the tears and the frustration because that won't do you any good. I suggest you talk to your boyfriend about what you encountered. But don't make such a big front about it. Listen to what he has to say. Because it shows him that you trust him. So basically, don't go up to him / call him and freak out. I hope you understand what you mean. Just be calm and be like "Hey, I found your myspace." And if he doesn't react, just tell him straightforward. But don't get offensive. Because he will just think you're fussy and that you don't trust him. Just slowly say all your feelings. Tell him "Hey, you know I trust you and everything. I'm not accusing you with anything, but it makes me uncomfortable what you say to other girls." And if after you say this he still puts up a wall against you, then you have a right to be angry. But what I'm trying to say is maybe it's just a misunderstanding. Maybe he just casually said those things. That's how guys are. But don't get all up in his face.

But seriously, after three years, he shouldn't be doing that to you. And I'd hate to see you "dump his ass" just because of this. So think wisely before making any decisions. But don't let him be controlling. Show him what youuu gottt girl =]

Good luck

[Edwinbarkhordari...]

Just talk to him..online flirting is nothing too serious

[Tung]

I just wish someone would tell me what to do so i wont care and it wont hurt.

I just told you what to do in my last post. Go and talk to him about it. relationship is all about communication. I basically said that in short simple terms, but what vietbabie said was more detailed.

Just talk to him..online flirting is nothing too serious

Exactly.

[JokeInsideJoke]

awww im sorry

I would either, 1. dump his sorry but.
or
2. get revenge, then talk.

number 2.

Just talk to him..online flirting is nothing too serious

any type of flirting is serious!

[weed]

online flirting is nothing too serious

well, if he feels the need to flirt with girls online or in person then why the f**k is he crying because he doesn't want to break up? Why didnt he just leave me then go flirt with other girls. It would have hurt either way but wtf. i dont get it. i don;t get why he would go behind my back and do this?

Does he not love me anymore?

[pkbabe]

i found my boyfriends secret myspace, i saw him flirting with other girls and saying this like " i cant wait to see you" and "i hope you dnt mind im flirting"..

I don't know exactly what is going on but maybe I can give a new perspective. I too am in a "serious relationship" & I will admit that I am major flirt. But just because I flirt does not mean I do not feel for my guy. For me, my 2 main reasons are:

1. To see if I still got it (meaning if I can still attract men)
2. I suppose testing limits

& the thing about me is that my main "flirtee" targets are those in relationships. I don't do it to try to break up people. I lead no one on either (@ least I don't try to LOL). I always state that I am in a happy relationship but they are the ones who continue with the flirting.

BUT if he is acting upon it & going beyond flirting, then thats a different story...

[shoryuken]

LISTEN PIECE OF SHIT, GTFO MY f**kING THREAD, I DONT NEED YOUR ANNOYING ASS HERE RIGHT NOW. BITCH. GO DIE. AND ITS NOT A f**kING CRUSH.
hell yes i do. I just wish someone would tell me what to do so i wont care and it wont hurt.

... you think im lyin..

girl n boy the same... they get jealous when there crush flirt or hit on the other online.. dont tell me u dunno that NUB..

[tokyo-rose]

nquack, stop it.

Suzie, you have a right to be upset. It's not right that he made a secret MySpace account just to flirt with other girls. Everyone flirts from time to time when committed, it's natural, but for him to do this behind your back and feel like he has to hide it from you, then he must know it's wrong. Even if he's not interacting with those girls physically, he's still cheating on you emotionally. When you confronted him about it, did he say he would shut that account down and stop flirting with other girls in secret? I hope so.

[TearsOfAPhoenix]

It seems to me that the real problem goes back to certain rules or mutual agreements between the two people. Some people don't consider flirting cheating, others do. Obviously to some extent you do and as a result so did he, thus he wouldn't have made a secret MySpace to do just that. Personally, I don't consider flirting cheating, but then again there is a thin line between flirting and taking it too far and yes if he was happy he wouldn't need to flirt and so on. It all depends on the couple I guess.

Back to you, understandably you're hurt, but you really have to calm down because honestly you're coming off as sort of hysterical and I say that as politely as I can. You need to step back and seriously take a deep breath and stop crying because its getting you no where. It hurts I know and I say that after having my boyfriend sleep with another girl, which is much worse than MySpace flirting.

So my advice, since I see you've already brought up the subject with him and were met with apologies and tears from him, is to decide whether those three years you spent together are worth getting over online flirting. You need to confront him head on and ask him if there's anything else he's hiding or needs to tell you and again evaluate if his faults supercede your what seems happy three years. I forgave my boyfriend and he's completely reinvented himself and I've never been happier, the question is whether or not your relationship is strong enough to put that behind yall and start over. Its ok if you have to take some time off to really figure out whats good for you and him or simply split all together because there is no use in having a relationship if you will never be able to trust him as much as a healthy relationship demands. Second chances can be the best thing that ever happens to you if you let it.

[shoryuken]

nquack, stop it.

Suzie, you have a right to be upset. It's not right that he made a secret MySpace account just to flirt with other girls. Everyone flirts from time to time when committed, it's natural, but for him to do this behind your back and feel like he has to hide it from you, then he must know it's wrong. Even if he's not interacting with those girls physically, he's still cheating on you emotionally. When you confronted him about it, did he say he would shut that account down and stop flirting with other girls in secret? I hope so.

stop what.. LOL...

its true.. im talkin from experience u NUB...

if girl or boy like you online and you guy talk PM n shiet alot then soon u gonna like one another.. then when he or she flirt with other guy or girl then you gonna get jealous DUH...

[MeanBastard]

So what did you do?

[aaayotiffany]

i actually have a friend that went through this.
the boyfriend who is online flirting with girls saying "i can't wait to meet you" blah blah.
they've been together for two years since their senior year in high school. after what happened, she completely lost his trust. and now they're not together anymore, because he wanted to do his own thing with her there in the end. she would always come to me telling me things like how she doesn't trust him and how she hates what he's become.
but the main reason why they broke up isn't because she didn't trust him, its because they didn't communicate at all. he wouldn't call her, she wouldn't call him because she would wait for him and he would wait for her. it was all very immature and stupid.

so i agree with some of these people on this thread, you should definitely talk it out with him [if you haven't already], also consider the three years you've been together. i'm sure you'll work something out [if you haven't already].

[Tramatize]

Were the comments or w/e it was up to date?
Well id confront him.
But idk what else there is to do.

[mellysmelly]

i kinda had this same situation with my bf
i went into his email ne day when i was bored at school and i saw that he was flirting with some girl he was working with on some project

i asked him about it and he was denying it and he went in and deleted the messages and when i confronted him about that he kept denying it
and FINALLY admitted to it

he basically said he didnt realize it were flirting and deleted the messages cuz he was scared to lose me

that was a month ago and im still with him even though i dont trust him and havent yet forgiven him and he knows that. hes having to regain my trust


you should do the same. give him a second chance but let him know everything wont be dandy right after, that he will have to regain your trust

its not second nature for guys to flirt, its not in their blood, its a dam stereotype so what he did was wrong even if it is online. especailly having a secret myspace. idk where/ how i can help you with that area

but i dont believe he doesnt love you anymore, give him a chance but with a warning you will leave him if it happens again (keeping things from you and flirting)

goodluck

[heyo-captain-jac...]

tung its not funny. im f**king crying. and i feel really shitty.

I hate to say it, but tung is right. Online stupid exists with everyone. In reality, few people are such asses like that. And theres always the chance that its not really him.

[illriginal]

i found my boyfriends secret myspace, i saw him flirting with other girls and saying this like " i cant wait to see you" and "i hope you dnt mind im flirting"..

my heart is torn. i cant explain this feeling. It just hurts.

please make this stop.

Wow... what a scum bag. The sad part is that he uses myspace to go ho huntin while he has a girlfriend =\

[Glamourouz]

You know, the same thing happened with my boyfriend. He said he even thought about cheating on me with the chicks he was talking to but he didn't continue talking to them or go through with it & it's sorta behind us because it is just the net. Everyone's situation is different.

[RissyMel]

i kinda had this same situation with my bf
i went into his email ne day when i was bored at school and i saw that he was flirting with some girl he was working with on some project

that's not right.
it's a violation of his personal privacy

[weed]

that's not right.
it's a violation of his personal privacy

f**k that shit.
(in my case) i feel that if he lied about it i have all the f**king right in the world to "violate" his personal privacy.

people like you piss me the f**k off you know that?

can someone please

close this topic.

k thanks.

[Melie]

you know i was actually the one in my relationship that was doing something like that. i was flirting back and forth with an old flame and my hubby found out. this was before we got married. so, i gave him the right to change the password of that email account, and i gave him the password of my new one. doing that made it easier for him to get over it because he was now able to see what i do and what comes in. after awhile, he was able to trust me and see that it was over.

[brooklyneast05]

can someone please

close this topic.