68 Things to do in WalMart, a supposed joke Options

[lkajsfklajskds]

1.Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations.
2.Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.
3.Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day.
4.Start playing football -- see how many people you can get to join in.
5.Run up to an employee (preferably a male) while squeezing your legs together and yell, ''I need some tampons!!''
6.Try on bras over top of your clothes.
7.Make a trail of orange juice on the ground, leading to the restrooms.
8.While walking around the store, sing in your loudest voice possible ''Sex and Candy''
9.Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, ''I think we've got a Code 3 in Housewares,'' and see what happens.
10.Tune all the radios to a polka station, then turn them all off and turn the volumes to ''10.''
11.Play with the automatic doors.
12.Walk up to complete strangers and say, ''Hi! I haven't seen you in so long!...'' etc. See if they play along to avoid embarrassment.
13.While walking through the clothing department, ask yourself loud enough for all to hear, ''Who BUYS this shit, anyway?''
14.Repeat Number 14 in the jewelry department.
15.Put pairs of women's panties on your head and walk around the store casually.
16.Leave small sacrifices or gifts in the hands of the mannequins.
17.Play soccer with a group of friends, using the entire store as your playing field.
18.As the cashier runs your purchases over the scanner, look mesmerized and say, ''Wow. Magic!''
19.Put M&M's on layaway.
20.Move ''Caution: Wet Floor'' signs to carpeted areas.
21.Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you'll only invite them in if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath.
22.Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the spray air fresheners.
23.Nonchalantly ''test'' the brushes and combs in Cosmetics.
24.Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around saying,''...I'm Batman. Come, Robin -- to the Batcave!"
25.TP as much of the store as possible.
26.Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles.
27.Play with the calculators so that they all spell ''hello'' upside down. (01134)
29.When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask, ''Why won't you people just leave me alone?"
30.When two or three people are walking ahead of you, run between them, yelling, ''Red Rover!''
31.Look right into the security camera, and use it as a mirror while you pick your nose.
32.Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full-scale battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. the X-Men.
33.Take bets on the battle described above.
34.et up another battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. Barbie. (Red lipstick might give an interesting effect...)
35.While handling guns in the hunting department, suddenly ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are. Act as spastic as possible.
36.While no one's watching, quickly switch the men's and women's signs on the doors of the restrooms.
37.Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from ''Mission: Impossible.'
38.Attempt to fit into very large gym bags.
39.Attempt to fit others into very large gym bags.
40.Fill an entire cart with boxes of condoms, and watch everyone's jaws drop when you attempt to buy them.
41.Set up a ''Valet Parking'' sign in front of the store.
42.Two words: ''Marco Polo.'
43.Leave Cheerios in Lawn and Garden, pillows in the pet food aisle, etc.
44.''Re-alphabetize'' the CDs in Electronics.
45.In the auto department, practice your ''Madonna'' look with various funnels.
46.While walking around alone, pretend someone is with you and get into a very serious conversation. Exp: The person is breaking up with you and you begin crying ''How could you do this to me? I thought you loved me! I knew there was another girl, but I thought I had won.'' Then act as though you are being beaten and fall onto the ground screaming and having convulsions.
47.When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream, ''No, no! It's those voices again!''
48Go to an empty checkout stand and try to check people out.
49.Drag a lounge chair on display over to the magazines and relax.If the store has a food court, buy a soft drink; explain that you don't get out much, and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it.
50.Get a stuffed animal, go to the front of the store and begin stroking it lovingly, saying ''Good girl, good Bessie."
51.Go over to the shoe department and try on every pair of shoes, not putting one pair back. Take the paper from the boxes and throw it in various aisles.
52.When someone steps away from their cart to look at something, quickly make off with it without saying a word.
53.Follow people through the aisles, always staying about five feet away. Continue to do this until they leave the department.
54.Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.
55.Test the fishing rods and see what you can ''catch'' from the other aisles.
56.In the makeup department, spray yourself with every perfume there is, then walk up to a boy who is with a girl and start flirting with him as ditisily as possible: ''Hi! (giggle) What's your sign? (giggle).'' When the boy shows no interest, start hitting on the girl the exact same way. ''Hi! (giggle) What's your sign? (giggle).''
57.Hold indoor shopping cart races.
58.Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit.
59.When there are people behind you, walk REALLY SLOW, especially through narrow aisles.
60.Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.
61.Say things like, ''Would you be so kind as to direct me to your Twinkies?''
62.Make up nonsense products and ask newly hired employees if there are any in stock, i.e., ''Do you have any Shnerples here?''
63.Ride a display bicycle through the store -- claim you're taking it for a ''test drive.''
64.Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters.
65.Get boxes of condoms and randomly slip them into peoples' carts when they aren't paying attention.
66.Hide in the clothing racks and when people browse through, say things like ''the fat man walks alone,'' and scare them into believing that the clothes are talking to them.
67.Relax in the patio furniture until you get kicked out.
68.Pay off layaways fifty cents at a time.

[miyashu]

LOL @ #s 20, 60, 62, 64

Reminds me of that youtube video I saw where some kids were making stupid announcements in a Walmart store. Something about bananas...

This brightened my mood a little :D

[Heathasm]

um no
thats not cool
i work at walmart and people who do shit like spilling oj and leaving carts full of shit are EVIL.

but idc if people play with footballs and shit

and also walmart got rid of layaway because of people like that (aka my bf who put a box of condoms and a stick of gum on layaway)

[icecreamisyummy]

um no
thats not cool
i work at walmart and people who do shit like spilling oj and leaving carts full of shit are EVIL.

but idc if people play with footballs and shit

and also walmart got rid of layaway because of people like that (aka my bf who put a box of condoms and a stick of gum on layaway)

hahahahah thats genius

and the whole leaving carts full in th3e middle of the store makes me wanna shove it up ppls a s s h o l e. i used to work at a grocery store and i hated when ppl did that

[*yrrnotelekktric*]

i`ve totally done number 10.

[Joss-eh-lime]

i like the alarm one
it is funny, and not descructive.

[illriginal]

o.O; did you get that off the Anarchist's Cook Book?... Nearly all of those are in the book XD

[*yrrnotelekktric*]

haha, minus the "polka station".

[lkajsfklajskds]

o.O; did you get that off the Anarchist's Cook Book?... Nearly all of those are in the book XD

i got it at the comedy centrals site.

i`ve totally done number 10.

Me toooo! cept not at wal-mart.
at target =]

[illriginal]

i got it at the comedy centrals site.

LOL Awesome!

[karmakiller]

Might be a little hard to do 36, unless if you go shopping with an industrial screw driver, lol.

I've done some of those things when I was younger, but then you grow up and realize that your friends will be cleaning up after you and you'll have to clean up after people like that.

[markmejia]

Hahaha. I've only ever read the short version of this.

I used to hide in the circular clothing racks. It was pretty funny cause someone would browse and see me in the middle of the rack.

But I would totally attempt #36 with an industrial screwdriver.

[JokeInsideJoke]

who made this up?!
it is so f**king funny!

[lkajsfklajskds]

^

i got it at the comedy centrals site.

[heyo-captain-jac...]

35, 46, and 56 win pretty hard. I would try any of them.