Fishing for compliments Options

[miyashu]

Let's say you're talking to a friend and she says something like, "OMG that girl is so pretty. Why can't I look like that ?"

I used to reply with "No, you look good!" But I've just grown tired of constantly flattering her whenever she feels insecure.

And then there's this scenario:

If I tell her she's pretty, she'll get depressed and say "Ugh no I'm not. Don't say that."

WTF. Seriously, I'm not here just so I can fondle your under-developed ego.

What would you say to a friend in this situation?

[queen]

"maybe god didn't like you."

-_-"

yah, i seriously got tired of answering people who ask questions like that. i either ignore them or say something stupid back.

[*yrrnotelekktric*]

Normally, I just laugh or don`t say anything. Seriously, it`s annoying when friends do that. I don` t see why they care so much. Or i say "Oh shut up." Because I hate hearing crap like that.

[BabiiJay]

I have a friend that does that all the time. She's always like "I'm fat" or "I'm so ugly" or "I'm not girlfriend material" blah. blah. blah.

And I used to be like "yeah I'm fat too."
&& then she'd yell at me.

But now I just tell her to shut up. And that she's beautiful.

[MissHygienic]

Well, sometimes, it's just better not to say anything.

Honestly, when people do that, "No, you're so pretty!" just to defy their statements is a little fake and annoying. You're her friend, after all, not a friend of the other girl she finds to be more beautiful. Boost her ego when she isn't calling for compliments or ego-boosters and it will make her feel better, but not at that moment.

[lojay]

Most of my friends grew out of that stage... but every now and again someone breaks out the "I'm fat." And I'll be like, "Yeah I need to start working out more again" and then the conversation ends. Or every so often "I'm not pretty enough." I usually just say "Oh, don't worry, me either." I never really let people get the satisfaction they are looking for. I guess that makes me a bitch?

[Joss-eh-lime]

When people are down on themselves and I feel like it's only to get a compliment I just reply with
"okay"
"well, thats just how you look"
or i say nothing.

I don't like to boost their self confidence with empty compliments.

but if i truly like something a friend has done with his/her hair or clothes i'll say something. this way they know i really mean it.

[libertie]

I'm around musicians all the time, and girls are really bad about being overly hard on themselves. I don't know if they're wanting to hear from me that I think they're good, or if they really think these things about themselves, but I typically reply with something like, "You don't really think that, don't be so hard on yourself."

I do the same thing when I'm around people who trash talk their appearances, too, although I have a much lower tolerance for that. "I'm so fat!" This girl's my friend and I know her well enough to be able to tell her straight up, "I know you don't think you're fat, but if you keep telling yourself and other people that, you're never going to be happy with the way you look. Lighten up." People are usually a bit shocked when they hear that from me, because it's not the answer they're looking for, but once they hear that I'm not buying it, I don't have to hear the same BS from them anymore. =x

[superficial]

When one of my friends say that, I know that they're just looking for compliments on how pretty they are, but actually, I do the complete opposite and say that they look like horse shit. Sorry, but that shit don't work on me. I hate it when people post pictures of themselves on MySpace and in the caption, they're like "OMG IM SO UGLY." I mean, if you thought you were so f**king ugly, then why would you post the pictures in the first place?

[Joss-eh-lime]

^yup! like they take a picture of themselves and say "NO this is horrible!" then its on their myspace the next day.

I had a friend who would ALWAYS say "aww you look cute today!" to EVERYONE. It pissed me off because she didn't even mean it.

[S-Majere]

I tend to go with an 'uuhhn' which is sort of a reassuring affirmation.

[miyashu]

Well, sometimes, it's just better not to say anything.

Honestly, when people do that, "No, you're so pretty!" just to defy their statements is a little fake and annoying. You're her friend, after all, not a friend of the other girl she finds to be more beautiful. Boost her ego when she isn't calling for compliments or ego-boosters and it will make her feel better, but not at that moment.

I'll keep that in mind. Thank you for being honest.

I hate it when people post pictures of themselves on MySpace and in the caption, they're like "OMG IM SO UGLY." I mean, if you thought you were so f**king ugly, then why would you post the pictures in the first place?

-_- That also irritates me. Typing that as a caption is the equivalent of: "DON'T FORGET TO TELL ME THAT I'M PRETTY. AND NOT UGLY."

[JCLore]

i think shes insecure because no one just says "you look pretty today" or something along those lines. Maybe if you were to start complimenting her before she compliments you...then she wouldn't feel as though she has to compliment to be complimented.

Or maybe you can take her on a shopping spree...girls like that dont they??...and say she looks really good in everything she tries on or "that color is so you" or watevr

[pandora]

isnt this what everyones doing in member photos?

[jaeman]

"It's just better that way."