Quick Advice Please, about my boyfriend.. |
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 Dec 22 2007, 11:52 PM
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#1
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 Senior Member  Group: Member Posts: 226 Joined: Nov 2007 Member No: 593,106  |
So my boyfriend and I have been dating eachother for 1.5 years now. We love eachother more than anything.. and I do trust him with my life. We've spoken a lot about our problems together but he has this one female friend who I hate. He doesn't realize it and we've talked about it, but I know she's out to "get" him away from me.
She sends him an email everyday.. pretending to be sweet and caring. She tries to talk to him everyday and she seems to follow him around the internet wherever he signs up..It's really getting out of hand. I never liked her in the first place and now she's just being a creep. It's been 4 months! I've talked to my boyfriend about it but he thinks that she's just being a "nice friend" and nothing is going to go wrong. On one hand..I'm kind of worried that he might fall for her in the end because she's always there. But on the other.. I am really annoyed by her. What should I do? |
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Dec 23 2007, 12:04 AM
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#2
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 Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 66 Joined: Jun 2004 Member No: 25,063 |
Well there really isn't much you can do that you already haven't done. You've warned her and you've told him that you feel uncomfortable about her, but if you persist in talking about her or make it a habit it could really begin to irritate your boyfriend and make him doubt the trust you have in him. My friend underwent a similar situation with her boyfriend. He continued to insist that her guy friend had more than friendly intentions with her and it ended up tearing them apart leaving the path open for this guy friend to slip in.
So all you can and should do is continue to enforce your relationship with your boyfriend, continue to make it strong and give him no reason to stray because if your love is really true he'll only have eyes for you and this other girl will remain just a friend. |
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Dec 23 2007, 12:13 AM
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#3
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 Member Group: Member Posts: 27 Joined: Dec 2007 Member No: 602,934 |
How does your boyfriend know this girl? Does he see her often? Does he see her behind your back? Have you ever smelled any foreign scents on him? Not to imply anything, but if it's gone on this long, perhaps she might already be up to something, or she might be trying.
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Dec 23 2007, 12:18 AM
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#4
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Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 226 Joined: Nov 2007 Member No: 593,106 |
QUOTE(Jensen @ Dec 22 2007, 09:13 PM)  How does your boyfriend know this girl? Does he see her often? Does he see her behind your back? Have you ever smelled any foreign scents on him? Not to imply anything, but if it's gone on this long, perhaps she might already be up to something, or she might be trying. He doesn't see her often because he's with me.. but she's always around when he's online. They talk online a lot. I don't think my boyfriend is up to something but she certainly is. The things she tell him isn't what a firend should say to another friend. |
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Dec 23 2007, 12:24 AM
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#5
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Member Group: Member Posts: 27 Joined: Dec 2007 Member No: 602,934 |
What do they talk about? How often do they speak, and for how much time? Have you confronted the girl?
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Dec 23 2007, 12:28 AM
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#6
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 sleep now, moon Group: Staff Alumni Posts: 2,540 Joined: May 2007 Member No: 526,212 |
where does she live?
where does she usually hang out? what's her favorite drink? just get rid of her. |
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Dec 23 2007, 12:32 AM
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#7
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Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 226 Joined: Nov 2007 Member No: 593,106 |
I don't know how to get rid of her! She sticks to him like a fly to sugar.
Jensen, they speak for a few hours every day. I didn't care before but its starting to bug me.. |
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Dec 23 2007, 12:41 AM
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#8
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Member Group: Member Posts: 27 Joined: Dec 2007 Member No: 602,934 |
So, you live with your boyfriend, or what? If so, how have you been fine with him talking online to some girl for this long, anyway? Seems, if he's been talking to her for such a long amount of time, that he prefers her company, in some way, to yours?
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Dec 23 2007, 12:42 AM
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#9
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sleep now, moon Group: Staff Alumni Posts: 2,540 Joined: May 2007 Member No: 526,212 |
a few hours every day is a lot.
dig up some dirt on here and blackmail her out of the metro. i've done it, except with one of my kung fu instructors. |
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Dec 23 2007, 06:20 PM
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#10
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 Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 123 Joined: Nov 2007 Member No: 593,311 |
This girl's prettier than you, isn't she? That's what it is. If that's the case, you're f**ked, anyway. Give him an ultimatum: you, or her.
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Dec 23 2007, 06:37 PM
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#11
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 Tick tock, Bill Group: Administrator Posts: 8,764 Joined: Dec 2005 Member No: 333,948 |
Don't take this the wrong way, but what you should do is relax. If you honestly "love eachother more than anything", then some girl doing the puppy following thing with him shouldn't matter and shouldn't amount to anything.
Also, I wouldn't recommend telling him to stop talking/chatting with her. It makes you look incredibly insecure and mistrusting. Just chill out and let the cards fall as they will. |
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Dec 23 2007, 06:45 PM
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#12
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 We're in for one wild night. Group: Member Posts: 402 Joined: Dec 2007 Member No: 603,255 |
QUOTE(superstitious @ Dec 23 2007, 06:37 PM) Don't take this the wrong way, but what you should do is relax. If you honestly "love eachother more than anything", then some girl doing the puppy following thing with him shouldn't matter and shouldn't amount to anything. Also, I wouldn't recommend telling him to stop talking/chatting with her. It makes you look incredibly insecure and mistrusting. Just chill out and let the cards fall as they will. Completely agree  @stacy It sounds like you're thinking way to much about it and i'll be the first to say, jealousy is a sickness. To be clear, is this an online relationship? If so, there really isn't to much you can do but just see where it goes. If not, you have nothing to worry about. 
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Dec 23 2007, 08:39 PM
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#13
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 That's what she said. Group: Staff Alumni Posts: 3,559 Joined: Apr 2005 Member No: 130,200 |
As Libertie from degrassi once said, "Jealousy is ugly, Emma." I think you should just calm down. If you say you feel the way you do, you should trust that nothings going to happen. Well, have you spoken to HER about it? Since its not your boyfriend thats the problem.
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Dec 23 2007, 09:54 PM
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#14
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Member Group: Member Posts: 27 Joined: Dec 2007 Member No: 602,934 |
QUOTE(Cowboy @ Dec 23 2007, 04:20 PM) This girl's prettier than you, isn't she? That's what it is. If that's the case, you're f**ked, anyway. Give him an ultimatum: you, or her. I agree. Stacy: if you don't like this, give your boyfriend an ultimatum? If it bothers you that much, make it known? Tell him to make his decision -- you, or her, and be firm with him. |
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Dec 23 2007, 10:00 PM
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#15
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 Resource Center Tyrant Group: Official Member Posts: 2,263 Joined: Nov 2007 Member No: 593,306 |
Threaten to destroy his balls. Remember, we are in control of that.
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Dec 23 2007, 10:10 PM
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#16
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Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 226 Joined: Nov 2007 Member No: 593,106 |
No this isn't an online relationship. His job requires time on the computer.. so yeah.
I have spoken to her but she refuses to talk to me. I've never met her before. I only know her through her accounts on the internet. I'm just worried like TearsOfaPhoenix said.. constant presence of someone else CAN destroy a relationship. I don't blame my boyfriend.. I want her out of the picture. |
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Dec 23 2007, 11:02 PM
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#17
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We're in for one wild night. Group: Member Posts: 402 Joined: Dec 2007 Member No: 603,255 |
Touchy situation you are in right now. It's clear that since you two are together in RL and this chick is just someone on the internet, you have the upperhand, besides that I doubt she's known him for 1.5y.
I don't think giving a guy an ultimatum would work, it never does for me, infact if anything it would be pushing him away. But because it's an everyday thing, try, very kindly, going up to him and tell him your not trying to tell him to be friends with, but it really bothers you that you talk to her, please stop for me? Be as caring as you can, and if he truely cares for you the way you say, he should have no problem stopping talking to some chick on a pixelated screen. Anything else IDK! lol. |
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Dec 23 2007, 11:12 PM
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#18
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Resource Center Tyrant Group: Official Member Posts: 2,263 Joined: Nov 2007 Member No: 593,306 |
The more I think about this, the more retarded it seems. Excuse my word choice. If you become "suspicious" over female friends that your boyfriend has over the internet, then I have to wonder how you react to close female friends of his in real life. Or if he has any at all under your persistent scrutiny.
My advice is to let it go and give your boyfriend some room to breathe already. No one likes to be controlled and or told what friends he/she should have. Let it go, you're just possessive and overly paranoid. |
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Dec 24 2007, 12:56 AM
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#19
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 Sarcastic Mr. Know-It-All Group: Staff Alumni Posts: 2,089 Joined: Dec 2003 Member No: 29 |
SUPERMAN THAT HO
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Dec 24 2007, 03:13 AM
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#20
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Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 123 Joined: Nov 2007 Member No: 593,311 |
Good luck with your fruitless pursuits, Stacy. You should get one of these: http://www.vitadigest.com/vibratex-rabbit-habit.html.
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Dec 24 2007, 02:49 PM
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#21
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 in the reverb chamber. Group: Staff Alumni Posts: 4,022 Joined: Nov 2005 Member No: 300,308 |
QUOTE(kryogenix @ Dec 23 2007, 11:56 PM) SUPERMAN THAT HO NO UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU |
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Dec 24 2007, 03:22 PM
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#22
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Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 66 Joined: Jun 2004 Member No: 25,063 |
There is nothing more attractive than a confident woman. If you are left with two choices, a sexy attractive flirty new female or a possessive paranoid and jealous old girlfriend, the choice isn't a difficult one. Cool off. Your constant presence isn't the problem if you love each other you want to spend as much time possible together, but you will push him to wander if you continue worrying. This girl may not even be a problem, but you may make her a problem through your insistance. Be the calm, cool girlfriend who knows all he needs is found in yourself. You've voiced your concern already. Have faith in your relationship and your history will triumph.
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Dec 24 2007, 04:10 PM
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#23
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 AKA RockIt Studios Group: Official Member Posts: 2,286 Joined: Jun 2006 Member No: 421,809 |
yeah...just deal with it. if you nag too much, he will go to her. don't push it too far, just leave it.
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