Would you get into a relationship, With a soldier going to Iraq?? Options

[*icecreamisyummy*]

So this guy ive been talking to has asked me to be his gf twice now. the first time i said no, because i hadn't seen him in a while. Now he jsut found out he'll be sent back to Iraq in about 2 weeks and asked to be my bf again...but in much serious terms. I really do like him and he really likes me. My best friend is against it and doesnt want me doing it because of the emotional impact it will cause.

now the other problem is, i just got otu of a serious relationship about a month or so ago. me and my ex still hang out* and what not. we both love one another, but we've had our issues and he said theres no chance between us now after what happened this past weekend. in a way i wanna believe him, but idk if he's being serious or not... i mean, he keeps showing up at my house he keeps calling.

so do i get into a relationship with someone who will be able to give me everythign and treat me how i should be treated, after he gets bck from iraq, or do i just sit around waiting for the guy i love to come to his senses?

of course theres more to all this but i dont want to bore you guys.

[MissFits]

Aside from the fact that I don't think your ex loves you or vice-versa, I think you should get with the army man!
Not only will he need a pen pal, you deserve someone that treats you right! If you know your ex doesn't ditch him and find a man that does.

Someone being in Iraq is pretty strenuous on a relationship, but it can work and I have seen it work many times. If it doesn't work out you could just be friends.

[*jeanna*]

i wouldnt suggest the army guy because like your friend said it would cause unneeded emotional drama especially if you don't think you should.

tell him you'll write him and all this stuff but not be together. your ex, well you guys broke up for a reason and he could be using you for whatever you give him.

[*icecreamisyummy*]

i wouldnt suggest the army guy because like your friend said it would cause unneeded emotional drama especially if you don't think you should.

tell him you'll write him and all this stuff but not be together. your ex, well you guys broke up for a reason and he could be using you for whatever you give him.

the breakup was more of a break. he said he couldnt give me what i deserved because hes always too busy with work college bandd

[barbieeedollxo]

i say get with the soldier
soldiers are awesome..lol

[Insurmountable]

I would do it, I kind of looked at it in terms if Josh was ever sent over there of course I would remain in a relationship with him.

But with your current situation I would defiently say the Soldier, but first before you jump in to that relationship does he know what went on between you and your ex? And that you still have feelings for him? But yet there isn't a chance for you guys to ever get back together.
Because it would really suck to hurt the soldier if he had to go overseas and you were in a relationship with him and possibly cheated on him with your ex. It would tear him to pieces. The lines of communication need to be completely open and you need to tell this guy the whole situation about whats going on with your love life.
Also I don't think you can say your still in love with your ex, you just deeply like him because I just don't think you can sit around and love someone and like this other guy.

So in all seriousness, ask yourself now.

Do you still want to be with your ex?
Do you really still love him?
Do you think its right to lead this other guy along and possibly really hurt him in the end by continuing?
Do you think its right to hang out with your ex boyfriend and still let the feelings trail on while this other guy your letting him have feelings for you?

[Uronacid]

I would do it, I kind of looked at it in terms if Josh was ever sent over there of course I would remain in a relationship with him.

But with your current situation I would defiently say the Soldier, but first before you jump in to that relationship does he know what went on between you and your ex? And that you still have feelings for him? But yet there isn't a chance for you guys to ever get back together.
Because it would really suck to hurt the soldier if he had to go overseas and you were in a relationship with him and possibly cheated on him with your ex. It would tear him to pieces. The lines of communication need to be completely open and you need to tell this guy the whole situation about whats going on with your love life.
Also I don't think you can say your still in love with your ex, you just deeply like him because I just don't think you can sit around and love someone and like this other guy.

So in all seriousness, ask yourself now.

Do you still want to be with your ex?
Do you really still love him?
Do you think its right to lead this other guy along and possibly really hurt him in the end by continuing?
Do you think its right to hang out with your ex boyfriend and still let the feelings trail on while this other guy your letting him have feelings for you?

Yeah... :P

[misoshiru]

do you support the war in iraq? for me, because i don't support the war, i could never get into a relationship with someone who is/or will soon be in iraq one, because of the emotional stress and two, because of the differences between his and my beliefs.

[Kay-]

Wow, your in a bit of a state =/
I say drop both of them and get a hunky football player.

[shoryuken]

Sounds like he wants to get some before he leaves.

He'll be all alone once he heads off, just say YES so he can sleep at night over there. He'll be playing with himself at night thinking of you.

[*icecreamisyummy*]

soldier does know about the whole ex situation. idk the thing with him is... when he gets back, he prettymuch wants to start a family, and thats hard for me to do im only 18....he's 25 ( i have a topic about this on this board) he says he's willing to pa for my college education (he obviosuly has the money) and blah blah blah. idk if i want to settle down with someone i think i like, i mean im sure that bby the tiem he gets back (may-june) ill have stronger feelings, but right now, i dont.

but then there's the whole, if you have the opportunity, why not take it.. well like why would i wanna give that up, you know, someone who actaully does care and the word marriage and kids doesnt scare them off. idk im a bit confused.

Wow, your in a bit of a state =/
I say drop both of them and get a hunky football player.

ACTUALLY, i havent talked to the ex or soldie since tuesday, and hung out with a friend i havent done so. turns out we're both into each other, well at the moment is more physical for me, he's starting to actaully like me like me. he's really cool though, he's not a football player, but he does skate lol. he's a good guy over all.

so i think i might just stick with the skater lol. we'll see what happens in the next week or two. ill keep ya'll posted :-D

[Insurmountable]

Wow..

I really don't know what to say to you, to be really honest. Your one of those people I can't stand because your sitting back playing with others feelings, and I personally can't stand it happening to me so why the hell would I ever do that to someone else? And I'm pretty sure you wouldn't to have your feelings played with either.

Its like you just completely gave the other two guys the shaft and pretty labeled a big f**k you I'm going to this skater guy now.

From what I know and that you've told us I feel bad for the soldier guy Not so much the ex because I mean hes already flat out told you things weren't going to work between you guys so I would have moved on and not looked back.

[*icecreamisyummy*]

Wow..

I really don't know what to say to you, to be really honest. Your one of those people I can't stand because your sitting back playing with others feelings, and I personally can't stand it happening to me so why the hell would I ever do that to someone else? And I'm pretty sure you wouldn't to have your feelings played with either.

Its like you just completely gave the other two guys the shaft and pretty labeled a big f**k you I'm going to this skater guy now.

From what I know and that you've told us I feel bad for the soldier guy Not so much the ex because I mean hes already flat out told you things weren't going to work between you guys so I would have moved on and not looked back.

actually i dont play with guys feelings. They all know about the situation with my ex. the soldier, he asked me out tuesday, told me to give him my answer the next day, i was gonna say yes, but i calle dhim, he didnt answer, he hasnt called me. i know he was suppose to go see his family over the weekend, and i can understand why he wouldnt call me during the weekend, but what happened with wednesday and thursday. i mean if it was that important to him, why havent i heard from him.

the soldier has known about my ex, andhe decided to put his self in this position. he's the one that started getting feelings for me.

my ex has been playing with my feelings

the skater, well we're just friends, right now, we're jsut attracted to each other but nothing big... not like im aiming for a relationship with him, no way lol

[Insurmountable]

Yea but the way you came off with it, "physical relationship".

You know its your decision ultimately and I mean my opinion of you won't change no matter what. In the end I still view you as a good person and as long as you feel you made the right decision then thats all that matters

I can't tell you what to think about the soldier guy, I mean something may have come up I'm not him and don't know him so I guess I just wouldn't know. And if your ex is playing with your feelings then why hang out with him?

[icecreamisyummy]

can someone close this please and delete it and burn it?

[shoryuken]

1

[*jeanna*]

^ *throw a note to icecreamisyummy that say .. go to the girlslockroom and go to the thread that say "Slut"*

in there i said everything i needed to say about girls in general. You seem to be one of those girls..

I understand girls are all about feelings, but you HAVE GOT to think outside the box sometimes. You're still young why would you wait for that f****t to come back...? Seems like he's one greedy mofo and you're just a confused/naived girl.

YOU are confused and sexist. shut up and stay out of the girl's locker room if you're going to completely 1 sided.

[icecreamisyummy]

^ *throw a note to icecreamisyummy that say .. go to the girlslockroom and go to the thread that say "Slut"*

in there i said everything i needed to say about girls in general. You seem to be one of those girls..

I understand girls are all about feelings, but you HAVE GOT to think outside the box sometimes. You're still young why would you wait for that f****t to come back...? Seems like he's one greedy mofo and you're just a confused/naived girl.

who ever said i was f***ing those 3 guys??? the only one ive been messing with is my ex, and he's the ONLY guy ive ever messed around with.

The fact that i have not only 3 BUT 4 guys ( i never mentioned the 4th one) wanting to be in a some sort of relationship wit me doesnt mean im a slut. just meeans im damn good looking and guys actually like me and my personality. when i say physically attracted i mean, he thinks im hott i htink he's hott end of story. does not mean we're f*ckign each other.

Yes i'm young only 18, but my ass is out of high school, I'm an adult. which means I'm well aware of my decisions and whats right and wrong. I mean how many times have you thought back to when you were a kid and thought, " oh damn, maybe i shouldnt have done that, what was i thinking" no matter what it was.

Yes, I'm a girl. yes there is the whole emotional stuff and what not. ive never been through what im going through right now. i never let my emotional side get to me until now. ive been able to tackle everything on my own.

idk maybe its the fact that i just moved 1000 miles away from home. away from family and friends.

I have guys interested in me. no i dont dress "slutty" i dont like showing off my legs, and i dont liek showing off my body at all. no im not sefl conscious, but i know better.

***forget about closing this, just leave it open i guess.

[EddieV]

Go for it. Army guys = sex.

[icecreamisyummy]

Go for it. Army guys = sex.

i already have sex every week with the ex. although, the soldier is more experienced hmm hahahahahahaha lets see what the ass**** has to say about that

[LoveToMySilas]

Soldiers are always gentlemen. I think you should go with soldier boy. You need someone who will treat you right. Yeah, he'll be in Iraq. But you don't need to worry about him being unfaithful...unless he suddenly realizes hes attracted to other men. God forbid. There are ways you guys can keep in contact. I wish you guys the best!

[icecreamisyummy]

the soldier hasnt call me or anything since last tuesday. i was usppsoe to call him wednesday to give him my answer... i did but he didnt answer.... left a message. still waiting for his call. i know he got back from seeing his fam. yesterday or today, but still.. i even messaged him on myspace. it said he read my message but didnt reply. idk if i should call or what.

[EddieV]

^ Call.

[icecreamisyummy]

phone with soldier .....

[shoryuken]

1

[icecreamisyummy]

i dont think i ever mentioned why me and the ex broke up. but hey thanks

me and the soldier decided on the phone last nite that it wouldnt be fair for the both of us. cuz like certain people said, i shouldnt be worried whether or not he's a live and he sholdnt be worried whether or not im f*cking with some other guy. we pretty much decided that june 1st we would email each other and see where we are in our lives, and if we happen to both be single and what not, we would try to have a relationship. june 1st because he should be back by then.

now the problem is.... we decided to go on cam, and well everything in the paragraph before just crumbled into nothing. and we're both back to wanting to be with each other. and we almost did decide to just get into the relationship, but i said... we should wait until i go visit him. so thats what we're gonna do, wait for me to go visit him and see how that goes.

i get to find out today when im goin over....hopefully!

EDIT//
thanks eddie, ill take your advice anytime lol