poem(bad) dont read ever please |
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 Jun 21 2004, 11:11 AM
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#1
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 short one  Group: Member Posts: 469 Joined: Jun 2004 Member No: 23,284  |
well some friends told me to put it somewhere so ill put it somewhere itll never get read hehehehe
 just ignore this post completlySorrow ive lived in sorrow all my life ive lived in darkness too because ive lived without a friend thinking my friend was you i tried to ease my troubled sorrow by turning sadness to pain but than you left me and i never lived again because this life of sadness this life without a friend was passed down along to me i made sure it would not be passed again but than as i dropped one thousand feet i saw you once again i saw you in your glory shining bright like a star i fell my thousand feet down under but my heart is still not far thought of you your bright warm smile i thought of your sweet face ok goodbye |
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Jun 21 2004, 08:38 PM
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#2
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 Rock like a GIRL.. Group: Member Posts: 250 Joined: Apr 2004 Member No: 13,434 |
thats really good. strong feelings. but also, as ive posted elswhere, this poem would be alot less awkward without so much of the rhyming. poems do not have to rhyme
very good., and good luck with your rhyming! 
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Jun 22 2004, 08:19 AM
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#3
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 Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 3,077 Joined: Feb 2004 Member No: 3,904 |
*sniff* All the poems I've read today are making me cry!
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Jun 22 2004, 08:51 AM
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#4
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 ..Michelle Group: Member Posts: 1,002 Joined: Feb 2004 Member No: 3,282 |
Aw.. I like it. I know you said not to read it, but it's here so of course I'm going to read it. haha.
There's just one problem though.. You mixed up "then" with "than" in two lines: QUOTE but than you left me and i never lived again QUOTE but than as i dropped one thousand feet
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Jun 22 2004, 08:54 AM
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#5
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 pixel hybrid Group: Member Posts: 6,410 Joined: Jan 2004 Member No: 1,081 |
I can relate to that. It's beautiful.
 
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Jun 22 2004, 08:50 PM
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#6
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short one Group: Member Posts: 469 Joined: Jun 2004 Member No: 23,284 |
ummmm ty i guess.....actually they told me to put it in a competition
 so i did and well  yeah
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Jun 27 2004, 03:41 PM
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#7
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 Look its... Group: Official Member Posts: 5,817 Joined: Feb 2004 Member No: 4,767 |
i wont ignore it is good. i liek it. reminds me of this one boy who cant get the facts straight grr..
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Jun 29 2004, 08:35 PM
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#8
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short one Group: Member Posts: 469 Joined: Jun 2004 Member No: 23,284 |
well actually the poem was inspired by the anime series naruto its sad
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Jun 29 2004, 10:57 PM
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#9
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 Member Group: Member Posts: 29 Joined: Jun 2004 Member No: 21,713 |
Its pretty good..i should post some of mine somewheres...
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