Uronacid, A Fraud!!!!!!!!! Options

[bat19]

There are those of you who think you know Uronacid, a.k.a. Josh, a.k.a. Mr. Chuckles. But do you? Do you really?

On the morning of April 31, 1986, a child was born to one Margaret and John Kanutsin. They feared the child offhand for on his back was a detailed marking of their home and where all the gas mains were, with little pictures of flames next to them. So they decided at once to move away. Most people put in this position would have abandoned the child, or sold him to ivory-merchants. But the Kanutsins were growing old and the prospect of another childbirth seemed daunting and very possibly dangerous. So they tried, as any first time parents do, to raise their child without regret. If only they knew, if only.

Early on, the child showed signs of innormalcy. The child required homemade clothing made out of a special material known as Dermacite, regular cotton would rot at the touch of his skin and fall off into rags. While his mother sewed the dermacite into clothing suitable for his rare condition, he would covertly stick his hand underneath the fabric and watch as his mother unknowingly sewn his flesh into his clothes.

Then came the fire. It is not clear what exactly started the fire, only that it took the lives of the Kanutsins. When the firefighters arrived on the scene, they found the boy sitting unharmed in an area torn apart from the blaze. When the rescuers picked him up, they noticed the area where he sat was undamaged in any way.

He was brought into the custody of the state and sent to an orphanage. This would be the stage for the Great Orphan Disappearance of 1992, an event that if you are not aware of, your parents most likely would be. The caretaker of the home said in her statement that she left the room filled with fourty children in various acts of play, and returned only moments later to find one child alone, laughing maniacly. There was no evidence of foul play, all the windows were shut and too high for all the children to escape from. To this day, there is no evidence that exists that would logically explain where the children went. When asked about their whereabouts, the boy simply said "My stomach hurts, I ate too much." The horrified caretaker swears the boy had not been fed since the night before.

Fearing what would happen to the boy, the state decided to change his name to Josh. He was transferred to a waiting facility, left in close confinement away from people. After a switch in public office, the new mayor found this action barbaric and took the boy into his own home.

The only one's to survive were his older daughter and their dog. Among the deceased was the daughter's boyfriend who was in the families hot tub when a stereo was pushed in. The wife who's body was found in the kitchen, next to a microwave with the front screen broken and many boxes of popcorn kernels. An autopsy showed the body had suffered from an incredible injestion of popcorn which ruptured the stomach cavity. The youngest daughter, who was found lying face down in the pool and below her, her favorite doll tied to a brick. The mayor was found in the basement, having apparently been beaten to death with packages of frozen vegetables.

Eventually the boy, now known as Josh, was able to calm his bloodlust in a public setting, but wherever he goes, bodies show up mysteriously and without explanation. Beware this man. If you ever happen to see him, run to your nearest church and pray that God will show mercy on you. Beware.

[*Steven*]

Go on

[*Sandraaa*]

But do you? Do you really?

[*Villainess*]

Dude did you jsut give away his actual last name?

[dustbunny]

lahved it

[*Girthy*]

LOL WTF!

[*Insurmountable*]

OMG, I never knew! How the hell am I still alive though?!!??
HOWWWW!?

Josh, make something happen to my mother in october. It will be known as the great Halloween mystery or something snazzy sounding.

[*Uronacid*]

Jeremy, did I just sense you thinking about my mother naked? Take it back... I have shown you mercy. TAKE IT BACK!!!

[*Programmer*]

heh...not bad...

[salcha4u]

This is boring.

[mytangerine]

When asked about their whereabouts, the boy simply said "My stomach hurts, I ate too much." The horrified caretaker swears the boy had not been fed since the night before.

AHAHAA!

[*Michelle*]

I can't read this...

I read the last paragraph. I guess, BEWARE HOLLY. YOUR BOYFRIEND IS EVUL.

[*Insurmountable*]

Yea I know I'm a little freaked out I have to say.

I really like that last name though, Kanutsin.

Hollyann Kanutsin.

hmm

[Kontroll]

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^OMG HOLLY! You're sixteen. Take it easy. Let's just keep it Hollyann [whatever your last name is] for now.

[bat19]

I just received information from my informant in the Federal Administration for Crimes of Egregiousness (F.A.C.E.) and he informed me that the subject known as Josh, a.k.a. Mr. Osha, a.k.a. Johnny Feltleroy has been seen in the Cincinatti area. It is not known how long he has been there, it is known however that within the past three days there has been a 120% increase in Homicidal activity. 8 bodies have been found so far in various degrees of mutilation with another 9 being reported missing. People of Cincinatti, remain in your homes until further notice. Good luck, and God bless.

[*Uronacid*]

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^OMG HOLLY! You're sixteen. Take it easy. Let's just keep it Hollyann [whatever your last name is] for now.

Don't brainwash her Jake:

Quick! Holly read this!

Marriage Marriage Marriage Marriage Marriage Marriage Marriage Marriage Marriage Marriage BABY Marriage Marriage Marriage Marriage Marriage Marriage Marriage Marriage BABY

[bat19]

^ Any child of yours will be damned you psycopathic abherration of nature. No, no, I didnt mean it. Please!!! I DONT WANT TO DIEEEE!!!!!

[*Uronacid*]

^ Any child of yours will be damned you psycopathic abherration of nature. No, no, I didnt mean it. Please!!! I DONT WANT TO DIEEEE!!!!!

Blasphemy!!

[EmoEyelinerx]

Um is this a true story or made up story? If its a real story its pretty freaky but if its made up its really good.

[salcha4u]

Um is this a true story or made up story? If its a real story its pretty freaky but if its made up its really good.

LOLL yeah it's real

[*Insurmountable*]

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^OMG HOLLY! You're sixteen. Take it easy. Let's just keep it Hollyann [whatever your last name is] for now.

Sheesh Jake, I was joking o_O

don't take things so seriously, its the internet.

[bat19]

***Bulletin***

I've just recieved word from an agent in the British Inquisition and Technical Cohorts of Heterodoxy (B.I.T.C.H.) that Josh, a.k.a. Colonel Cataclysm, a.k.a. Fisty Frankford was spotted at Kennedy Airport possibly boarding a plane to England. It is unclear as to what purpose he has there. Survelillance so far has shown no known associates in England. Reports coming from Kennedy Airport are as follows...

::At 09:15 Sept. 14, 2007, a blonde haired assailant took hold of an elderly woman by the hair and threw her into the engine of a 787. She died instantly. Security responded at once, but were unable to discharge weapons on assailant due to a simultaneous backfire that killed four guards and injured three others. Army personel arrived shortly thereafter to find the assailant had disappeared. It is believed he was able to board flight E-267 bound for Heathrow Airport London, England. No word has come from the plane itself. It seems something has disrupted communication between the aircraft and the ground. More news as it unfolds.::

[*IVIike*]

Yea I know I'm a little freaked out I have to say.

I really like that last name though, Kanutsin.

Hollyann Kanutsin.

hmm

lmao that name sounds sexy

[arghrawr]

This whole thing is hilarious.

And hell, I'd marry him just for his last name.

[1angel3]

This is weird, lol.