I just want it to work Options

[dpl313]

It all started at my job. I was working one day, and my co-worker (let's call her Alice) kept bumping into me. I never saw Alice much, and I never paid her much attention. She got off of work, and went into my line. I had to do a double take, because I never looked at Alice with interest before. Then as we worked with each other more we had moments to where we bumped into each other, or we talked, and it seemed like it was a little bit of flirting going on. But for a little bit I was talking to someone so I just held respect for that, but the girl I was talking to ended up telling me she had a bf for 6 years. So I took some time to get over that, and during that whole time my interest for Alice continued. So I took a chance and I asked her if she wanted to hangout with me? She told me she would think about and msg me back on myspace for an answer.

So with that in mind there was a problem. You see where I live I don't know too many people so when I get a chance to meet new people and make new friends it's a rarity for me. So as I got to know a few of my co-workers I asked them about hanging out, etc. They all told me no only because they perceived it as me asking them out on a date, but that wasn't my intention. I didn't realize they took it as that, until I asked Alice out. Alice immediately went up to her friend Ann, and told her I asked her out. Ann looked really pissed at me, and said something as I was getting off my break. So with that in mind days later Alice msged me back, and she told me she didn't want to go out with me. She referred to hanging out with me as a date. So I told her how I was trying to go out with her as a friend instead of a date, etc. So when we saw each other at work she didn't say anything to me. She just ignored me the whole time we worked. The next time we worked together She didn't say much to me at first, but she was doing some cleaning, and I started a conversation with her. It went ok, and what I found funny was I walking back from doing some cleaning. Alice almost hit me with the door. As that happened I slid on the floor, and as I was catching my balance she burped in my face by accident. Which I thought was funny, because of how it happened. After that we joked around for a little bit, and when we had to work we just ended up staring at each other off and on. Point being I realized I still do like her, and I know she has some type of interest in me(even if it's just a speck of interest). What do you think I could do get past the flirting, and to actually get her to hangout with me? Also, do you think asking her why she told me no when I asked her out is a good idea?

[mytangerine]

ok. wow read that WHOLE thing. phew.
uhmm...
i believe that you should just continue having normal casual,
friendly conversations with her; don't bother asking why she didn't want to go on that 'date' with you; just start over basically. focus on your friendship, don't make any major moves. sure you can flirt & stuff but nothing major. maybe you can talk to her about how you don't really know a lot of people & how if she wants you guys can hang out except she can bring a few friends or something? i don't know. just make sure you make it clear that it is just a casual outing. don't want to freak her out again.

[*Uronacid*]

Like you said, it seems like she's just afraid of being your friend because she's afraid you like her. People don't like to be friends with people who like them as more than a friend because they are afraid of leading them on. Let's be realistic, when you're friends with someone who likes you it rarely ends well.

They like you, and they can't have want they want. Deep down inside they are hoping that you'll go out with them someday, but they will never go out with you because you're not attracted to them that way. It usually just ends up in a big fail.

If she thinks you like her, she's probably just trying to avoid a problem. I would suggest just playing it out like you are. Gain the trust you had as a friend, and when you ask her to hang out next time suggest something that friends do.

[*Podomaht*]

Throw some D's on that bitch.