Old boyfriend Options

[Kay-]

Ok, well im going in to grade 8 and my new boyfriend is going in to grade 11. Is that really wrong? Have you guys ever had an older boyfriend?

[xprobablecausex]

I dated a guy that was 5 years older than me. *shrugs*
I was 19, he was 24.

It really doesn't matter as you get older with age, but I'm not extremely fond of the whole jail-bait issue.

[omgomgKATHY]

once he's 18 it'll be a big stretch.

[mszxkay]

well that depends. i'm "talking to this guy" and he's in college
but we use to go out like a year a ago. but he's only a year older.

if you trust him then thats ok

a friend of mine went through what your going through now.
there relationship worked out perfectly.

[jesusisthebestth...]

i think that it's too much of an age differnce simply because you're so young. i mean, your in middle school and you're talking to a guy who's about to graduate high school? you shouldn't even be "talking" to one another like that, he can get into a lot of trouble...in some states it's illegal to date anyone 3 years younger than you even if he isn't 18 yet.

[pinayprincess]

now u know he just wants you for one thing; i'm sorry but i just hate it with a passion when an older dude dates a younger girl.. really young like that---- i mean the guy cant get a girl his own age???

[KayleighKins]

Yup. Thats just a whole lotta cradle robbin' nastyness going on.

[LittleMissSunshi...]

i agree thats kinda young.. im in 9th grade, and there's a 7th grader i know who dated an 11th grader. and thats even worser, so sometimes, people think of it as sexual harassment if your parents find out, they can sue him, and everything would be all over.. thats what we talked about in school yesterday. so i don't know much about this overage and underage relationships

[Kay-]

Can that really happen? Because i live in Canada and I don't want that type of trouble from my parents or from kids at school.

[lorrytruck;]

I was 14 and he was 18 (frosh & senior).
Lots of my friends were dating Junior and Senior guys Freshmen year aswell.

now u know he just wants you for one thing; i'm sorry but i just hate it with a passion when an older dude dates a younger girl.. really young like that---- i mean the guy cant get a girl his own age???

That really depends on the guy... let's not stereotype that all guys who date younger girls want only one thing because the guy I dated, he wasnt like that at all. And trust me I know him.

On the otherhand, I had a friend who was 13 when she dated a 24 year old...

[TimeZonesAway]

yeah there are a lot of things that it depends on.
i mean i guess if your in different grade schools then it's not good.
ya might as well just wait until you are actually in the same school.
[[HS]]
but if it works out then awesome

NOTE: if he wants to have sex. then people are right about "wanting you for one thing" if he never mentions it and you really get the idea that you know him well. then you should be fine.
and age shouldn't matter.
but if it really works out and lasts...think about what's gonna happen in another year or two when he has to go off to college.

[*Steven*]

3 grade difference. At that age it's a larger difference than say an 18 year old dating a 21 year old. I'm 19, Michelle's 17, I started dating her when I was a senior in high school, and her a sophomore. Now she's about to be a senior, and I'm going to be a sophomore in college. It can work, you just have to make it work, and I would still be a little iffy about the whole middle school / high school dating thing.

[RAWRstephishere]

Hm. He might be using you.

I would probably wait until you both were in highschool.

[jammylise]

Well then that mean he's like 16/17 years old.
and you are like 13/14

am i correct?

it's 3 years different either way.
and i did that when i was 11 i met this guy, we were friends until i was about 13 and we dated and we recently broke up last year
we lasted but it was hard, people talked shit, but once ur bf turns 18 he cant be with you, he really can't unless your like 17 or 16 at least.

usually, if it's more than 3 years dependding on the situation it's wrong.

[EmoEyelinerx]

i think that it's too much of an age differnce simply because you're so young. i mean, your in middle school and you're talking to a guy who's about to graduate high school? you shouldn't even be "talking" to one another like that, he can get into a lot of trouble...in some states it's illegal to date anyone 3 years younger than you even if he isn't 18 yet.

Yeah I agree.

[anydaynow]

It wouldn't be a big deal if you were older, but when he turns 18 you'll have problems.

[Kay-]

But this year both of us are going to be in highschool because i live in Canada so there's only elementary, high school and college/univercity. Would it be that wrong of a 15 year old to date an 18 year old?

[Gigi]

In Canada, high school starts at 8th grade, so they would both be in the same level of schooling. Just to get that clear.

Well...I know someone in 12th grade who's going out with a girl in 9th grade. My friends and I think it's a little weird, but not unheard of. I don't think it's wrong, by any means, but it may be a good idea to wait a few years.

As for the question of the law...

In Canada, traditional statutory rape laws have been replaced with specific laws against a variety of sexual offenses concerning children. For example...if the accused person is between the ages of 12 and 16 and the victim is less than two years younger than the accused and consented to the activity, it is not considered a crime.

http://encarta.msn.com/text_761564013___2/Rape_(law).html

That is to say, you can't have sex with him. Just keep that in mind.

[*Michelle*]

My friend did that exact same thing! And I didn't find it wrong. I thought she was lucky to have an older guy. You may be facing many different issues, though, such as time management, work load, time available for each other, parents, etc.

--> Relationships

[xprobablecausex]

In Canada, high school starts at 8th grade, so they would both be in the same level of schooling. Just to get that clear.

Well...I know someone in 12th grade who's going out with a girl in 9th grade. My friends and I think it's a little weird, but not unheard of. I don't think it's wrong, by any means, but it may be a good idea to wait a few years.

As for the question of the law...
http://encarta.msn.com/text_761564013___2/Rape_(law).html

That is to say, you can't have sex with him. Just keep that in mind.

Eh, that's not always true. In Ontario high school starts at the 9th grade.
All depends where you live.

[xburnoutx00]

i agree thats kinda young.. im in 9th grade, and there's a 7th grader i know who dated an 11th grader. and thats even worser, so sometimes, people think of it as sexual harassment if your parents find out, they can sue him, and everything would be all over.. thats what we talked about in school yesterday. so i don't know much about this overage and underage relationships

HAHAHA.

[Watttt]

I had a boyfriend 6 years older... idk i like older men i guess....

[shiftieeyedpnoi]

My girlfriend is older than me. She's the reason I get into Rated R movies. Wewt!

[Peanups]

I liked a guy in 8th grade and he was graduating highschool

it sucks for such a huge age gap.

anyways, you NEED to be careful. He could just be using you, and that big of an age gap AT THAT AGE is a bit iffy for me. If you are 20 or something, I can understand age gaps that big because you are older and more mature, an adult.

Once an adult, you have all rights for who you like and what big of an age gap there is.

My friends parents i think are like 13 years apart in age.


I like older men too.

[*souperstition*]

My girlfriend is older than me. She's the reason I get into Rated R movies. Wewt!

Babe, you're a big kid now, you can get into those movies with or without me. Just wait until next year when I can buy you alcohol, right?

[shiftieeyedpnoi]

Babe, you're a big kid now, you can get into those movies with or without me. Just wait until next year when I can buy you alcohol, right?

Because drinking with someone who gets plastered after one shot is SOOOOO FUN.

But yeah. I can just take advanta-...

HI CB!

[jennyjenny]

I'm in 11th grade right now and if I ever knew a guy my age who was dating an 8th grader I would slap him in the face and ask what he is really up to...

and plus everyone in the school wouldn't approve of it and there will be gossip flying around by the end of the day



actually now that i think of it my friend when we were going into 9th grade was dating someone going into 11th... but i don't think that that's bad because they were both in high school by then and she was a year older than everyone else because she was kept back

[Gigi]

Eh, that's not always true. In Ontario high school starts at the 9th grade.
All depends where you live.

Oh, sorry about that. But she posted before me saying they'd both be in high school, so I figured that would be enough.

[lilsnoopy]

Theres an ok...and a not ok

ok = after high school 18+ its ok to have high age gaps

ot ok= high age gap below the age of 18

Im wondering why hes attracted to a middle schooler instead of someone his own age

no offense

[blacknailpolish]

^ I have to agree... although summer before eigth grade I dated a guy who was a rising sophmore, and then this past year (I was a freshman last year) I dated a senior, so I may be being a tad hypocritical. Still, it just sounds so odd I suppose....I dunno.

[faydedprimadonna]

i know from personal experience that any older guy interested in younger girls (i mean like 3-4+ years) are interested in their v-card... any guy who denies that is a liar or possibly gay... younger girls are incredibly naive, easily manipulated, inexperienced, and best of all, untouched (for the most part)... if you're really going to "date" this guy, don't be a prostetot... have some self respect and just say "no"... at least save him the jail time and your parents the grief...

[transcendentalis...]

i know from personal experience that any older guy interested in younger girls (i mean like 3-4+ years) are interested in their v-card... any guy who denies that is a liar or possibly gay... younger girls are incredibly naive, easily manipulated, inexperienced, and best of all, untouched (for the most part)... if you're really going to "date" this guy, don't be a prostetot... have some self respect and just say "no"... at least save him the jail time and your parents the grief...

any older guy? what a generalization.
anyway, 8th grade-11th grade isn't that large of an age gap.

[*stephinika*]

^^
Yeah, it isn't all that bad. It really just depends on the maturity of the both of you and as long as you guys make sure you're on the same page in your relationship, then its fine.

[*Uronacid*]

I don't know... I don't think age is bad, as long as they aren't using it against you. I could really expand on this, but I don't feel like it.

[faydedprimadonna]

^ aww... you disappoint me ok... so i generalized with the any older guy thing... however most older guys are guilty of such things... i'm pretty sure that if the age gap wasn't such a big deal, then she wouldn't be asking for everyone's opinion (read: approval) about it... it just seems like she's trying to justify it with other people's opinions... whatever... i really couldn't care less what she does with her personal life... i thought the point of forum posts were to get other people's opinions... not a "everybody needs to have the same opinion" party... my bad... next time i'll know...

[*Girthy*]

three years isnt a big difference.
pffft.

[charlg93]

nuthing wrong with it, iv done same, and im just going into grade 9.
but you are a year younger so still be careful.

[lilsnoopy]

Hahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahha.

Wow. The naivety.

Excuse me, while there are guys like that, there are also guys like mine.
I started going out with my current boyfriend when I was in 9th and he was in 12th. I am now going into 12th and he is in his 2nd year in college. We didn't even have sex until last September (2006). We started going out in February 2005.

So please, spare us your lecture.

Its not about being naive.
Its about generalizing and sterotyping
Both of these concepts have groundconcrete reasons for being around.

Its nice to know that your relationships worked out. Really it is.
I must say, your bf has maturity and respect toward you.

Most dont. And I say most, not all, since not all boys are pigs.
Yet she's right when saying that when a boy turns his attention to a girl whos in middle school, or a freshman (when hes a senior), he normally is interested in something more than the girl.
Girls are easily prone to a love feeling when their in a relationship or having sex, guys are differnt.
They have a rush, not love when havng sex or starting a relationship.

Of course I mean this when the dude doesnt know the girl. As in, he just met her, and has no past history.
When your below the age of 18, large age gaps are not good in a relationship for varous reasons. People throw love around as if its candy anymore