Boyfriend and Best friend..., Are having some probs... Options

[ZukoJin]

My boyfriend and best friend sometimes get in these fights sometime. They start off sorta play fighting but sometimes they get more serious and someone gets hurt. Like this last (and worst) time she kept saying he owed her some money (even though he didn't) and then stole his wallet and took the money out then threw it at him but while they were fighting over the wallet this glass orb thing fell off the top of her wardrobe thing and hit him on the head and all and she felt real bad and all but that day they seemed to get over it and be okay again. But then the next day I was on the phone with him and he mentioned that his head still hurt so I told her on IM only I made it sound a bit worse so she'd feel guilty and start being nicer to him. But instead she goes and gets all depressed and now I don't know what to do. I feel like it's my fault because I said something to her and all. I've told her I'm sorry and that my only intention was to get them to get along all the time and all but it didn't seem to help. He's pretty much over it now but she's still beating herself up about it and I feel responsible. Other things she's done is use him as her personal stress ball (he still has scars from where she dug her finger nails into his arm), kicked him in the balls several times (mostly accidents I think...or so she said) and hits him on the head all the time. Now him and my sister fight a lot too but it's all plainly play fighting and my little sister is 12 and a lot smaller (she's a skinny little toothpick) than my best friend who is 15. Don't get me wrong my boyfriend and best friend get a long great it's just sometimes they're "play fighting" gets out of hand and I really wish it'd stop. How can I get them to stop without making anyone feel horrible about themselves?

[blacknailpolish]

First of all, trying to make your best friend feel guilty about all this was a terrible idea...anyway, moving on.

Just tell them to stop. There's no secret hidden way to do it other than just say "If you guys can't even handle play fighting without getting hurt, then just dont 'fight' at all"

[shiftieeyedpnoi]

Lol. Why doesn't your boyfriend just hit her?

[ZukoJin]

First of all, trying to make your best friend feel guilty about all this was a terrible idea...anyway, moving on.

Just tell them to stop. There's no secret hidden way to do it other than just say "If you guys can't even handle play fighting without getting hurt, then just dont 'fight' at all"

Yeah, I realize this now. The only reason I ever did in the first place was because she seemed to not even notice how it hurt him (both emotionally and physically) and I was tired of seeing him look the way he did after one of their fights got out of hand.

And I think I'll try that next time. Since this time's incident seems to be over now and all. But next time anything like it comes up I'm gonna tell them how I really feel about it...If I have the courage...I'm really no good at telling my friends to stop doing something even if it bothers me...

Lol. Why doesn't your boyfriend just hit her?

Lol, it would seem the easy thing to do, no? But if he ever does hit her she usually overreacts hugely and hits back a thousand fold so yeah...

[LittleMissSunshi...]

Well I really don't think it's right that your best friend is always "play fighting" with your boyfriend. I mean hitting him in unwanted areas several times isn't right. I mean like 3 times would be enough, those would be accidental. I don't know, seems kind of wrong on my opinion, but anyways. Maybe when it gets out of hand, like when you know something serious is gonna happen, take control of it. I mean is sounds like it's mostly your best friend is starting the conflicts than rather avoiding. Try to talk to with them, in the same room, and say how you feel. I don't know if it will help, but it helped me in this kinda same situation.

[Keriana]

I think that this is all a bit immature. Sounds like two five year olds. And how in any way was that thing falling on his head her fault? Unless she threw it him she shouldn't feel bad at all. It sounds like she is immature and maybe jealous that you have a boyfriend. Are you still spending "friend" time alone with her without your boyfriend? She may just be annoyed that he's coming between you. Obviously I don't know any of you so this may be the farthest thing from the truth but it's just what it sounds like to me! Hope you figure it all out!

[ZukoJin]

I think that this is all a bit immature. Sounds like two five year olds. And how in any way was that thing falling on his head her fault? Unless she threw it him she shouldn't feel bad at all. It sounds like she is immature and maybe jealous that you have a boyfriend. Are you still spending "friend" time alone with her without your boyfriend? She may just be annoyed that he's coming between you. Obviously I don't know any of you so this may be the farthest thing from the truth but it's just what it sounds like to me! Hope you figure it all out!

Well the reason she was all beating herself up about it was because he said that she pulled the cord, which in turn made the globe fall on his head. I don't really know myself. But she has said that she was getting jealous of him at one point. But I explained that I was just spending as much time with him as I could because I knew that as soon as school started back I wouldn't get to see him NEARLY as much. And I also know that at one time she did admit to liking him. And I also know that she does go through these phases where she's really depressed about not having a boyfriend so yeah....