Just Adding Lemon to the Wound, Help? Options

[teishya]

A continuation of my last thread. Huzzah. not. Anyway, to recap, my best friend, Jim, has confessed to me a second time last week after we hung out. I don't like him back, but I consider him my best friend and we're close, but I just don't feel like things would work out. I told him this, and he says that he hates creating this 'gap' between us again.Anyway, he was having some trouble with other friends, but he said that he'd handle it.

Well, he went off to Mexico for the week, and when he comes back, he declares that he's going on an AIM Fast (not going on AIM) starting tomorrow. He says that he needs time away from everyone, thinking that this is the best way to get away and that he feels like an 'outcast' and so 'distant' from everyone, but who doesn't? I think that it's completely stupid for him to think this way, but I didn't say anything since he seemed so depressed already. And he ends the AIM conversation saying:

Jim: i guess this realization really hit me
: when it came to the person i used to trust so much more than anyone i've ever trusted before in my life
: and now i don't even wanna talk to her
: yet here i am pondering as to what she thinks of me

I'd post our past conversations, but it'd take too long to edit the convos. I'm just so confused on what to do. I don't want to lose him as a friend, and I'm just not sure what to say. I just checked his away message and he seems happy and my friends said that he seemed okay today too. I've avoided him all day online but I'm not sure if I should take any action too soon...help?

Heh...long post and lame title, lol. my badd

[*Steven*]

Give em time, see where that goes

[Hiphop d[-_-]b]

I use to put lemon on my cuts when I was emo and stupid and slit my wrists. Yaaay.

Just bcus you dont want to be with him doesn't mean that you two can't be friends. I have a best friend who's a boy who is supposedley in love with me, but I just ignore that aspect of our friendship. Otherwise, we're great ! (= Shit'll clear up.

[LadyXTor]

This happened to me too...without the whole AIM fasting thing though. He'll get over it.

[KayleighKins]

My best friend is a boy too (Name is matt). He pretty much pressured me to "try him out". It was awful, down right disgusting. I felt like he was my brother, and kissing him made me cringe.

I told him it wouldn't work out and he pulled a hissy. He told me I was leading him on, that he could never trust me again. I had to explain to him that I wasn't leading him on because we weren't dating, and he new it was a trial period anyway. I scoffed at him not trusting me, I knew he said that just to try to get under my skin.

He also tried to distance himself from me, and he did a good job of it. He stopped telling me things. He started lying to me. He called me his best friend, but he ditched our plans and kept secrets from me.

It hurt us both. We've been best friends for 5 years now, and I don't know what I would have done all that time without my MattypantsStupidass. Eventually we had to sit down and have a huge talk. It's not hard, he's your best friend, talks are easy. As long as your honest about your feelings, about how he's your best friend, not your boyfriend, about how he's pulling away, not you, about how much his friendship means to you--then everything should be fine.

You guys will probably cry, but thats ok.

Pretty much, you have to wait until he finds another girl he likes, but be warned, it means he won't treat you the same way. She's going to be first in his life at all times. All those perks you thought you got from friendship are actually because he liked you. It's a hard reality.

He'll move on.

[EmoEyelinerx]

He just needs time.

[teishya]

Thanks everyone.

Well, his AIM fast just started, and I guess that I won't be contacting him anytime soon...most likely after school registration though. But it just feels awkward to avoid him, is it really the right thing?

yobaka3: Thanks a lot for that advice and for sharing that experience...it's funny though. Because he dated my other friend after Homecoming, after his first confession. It was really awkward for me to third-wheel, but it was hard not to since all three of us always hung out, but they'd always be all over each other. It hurt. a lot. Me and Jim grew apart, and so did my and the girl he dated, but it was inevitable anyway.Thanks.

[KayleighKins]

Thanks everyone.

Well, his AIM fast just started, and I guess that I won't be contacting him anytime soon...most likely after school registration though. But it just feels awkward to avoid him, is it really the right thing?

Yeah I didn't get that. Why is aim so important? See, there is this invention called the phone that people sometimes use.

You can talk into it.

And his voice comes out.

It's handy.

Also, for the love of God, don't avoid him like you care what he thinks when what he thinks is stupid. Show him that your really his friend by refusing to buy in to his soppy tactics.