*poem* forgive me fatehr, feed back on writing plz Options

[AddenLee]

Forgive me father, for I have sinned.
I was born with the greatest of stars at my heels,
And a well of red roses at my chest.

For my sin I confess to you,
I have taken the devil’s deal.
He challenged me to a race, you see;
And him on a great steed and me on foot,
We raced the to the ash doors of Hell.

But when I laid my hand on the burnt door before he,
His tongue hissed out at me and his fire flew up at me.
But the Devil is good to his word
And has given me his steed and my soul immunity to the fires of Hell.

So father, you will now sit hear and listen to the many sins of people,
But remember this and warn them of his trickery.
For as it stands now,
When they die and life on earth ends,
They will travel to Heaven or Hell,
But when I take my last breath,
And when my heart take sits last beat,
Heaven will not except me,
Hell will not allow me,
And I will forever be trapped in this world.

So I beg you, oh Father, forgive me my sins and allow me to pass.
Heaven of Hell I will take,
But do not leave me here,
For I found Hell even to be more welcoming.

[concreteangel]

I love this poem. Its really intense.

[Dreamers]

A spelling mistake or 2, but this was a really great poem. So deep....

[Ekay]

damn that was mad deep. props man