crush on manager, advice needed, plz Options

[emma001young]

Hi,

I hv this kinda crush on ma boss, he's in his 40's and i'm on my 20's. Recently, he asked if I wanted to spent the night with him, and I refused and he said that he was just teasing me, and he said that he was just missing me that's why he was texting, since I wasnt working for sometime. He's married and he has 4 children all of them older than me.
I was working the other day and I was so nervous, and I didnt know what to say, I was pretending as if nothing had happened, and so was he.
I cant stop thinking about him, and I dont know if he has noticed that I like him and that's why he was texting me.

Sometimes when he's near I'm all turned on,and I have had several dreams about him (I really enjoyed it in my dreams) however sometimes the thought of me spending the night with him makes me sick.


Any adivice is welcomed.
Thanks, Emma

[Comptine]

obviously you have moral problems with him hitting on you. and obviously, you return the "feelings" and don't know what to do.

i suggest you find a different job or tell him straight out to stop it - you aren't going to be a homewrecker.

[Jinny]

i suggest you find a different job or tell him straight out to stop it

i agree with endless_symphony. you should definitely quit your job/get a new one.
you shouldn't like him. well that's what i think. i mean, he's in his 40s and your in your 20s, he has four children, and they're all older than you. doesn't the picture seem a little..awkward?

[*WHIMSICAL 0NE*]

Yeah, there's something wrong with this picture. It's not just a slight feeling that you have for him. In my opinion, his behavior isn't acceptable either. He's saying perverted-ish things to you and then saying he's just joking... what's up with that? There's nothing wrong with you for having feelings for someone, but in this case there's something wrong with the person you have feelings for.

I would deff. think you should get a new job, esspecially before things escalate.

[angelrevelation]

I would find it scary if my boss texted me Or anything of the sort.

You should tell him to stop (it's... mostly his responsibility) and if he doesn't, find a new job. You don't want to start an affair.

[chasingvictory]

well you said that he is married. and that changes everything. i believe that it isn't right to mess with a man who is already married. so in my opinion, I don't think its wise to bring the relationship more than an employee-employer relationship.

[*mishyerr*]

I think you're letting your emotions and feelings overcome the consequences of any sort of sexual relationship with him (sometimes). I mean, if you think about how his children and his wife will be affected versus how you will be 'pleasured' by him, then that will probably help you safely leave the thought of any relationship with him. I'm sure you don't mean to do anything with your manager, since that would be sad and, imo, wrong to his family and yourself. I think if the temptation to further a relationship becomes too big, you should quit your job and work elsewhere- somewhere you will most likely never see him again.

[cupcakex]

You should start looking for a job elsewhere.
Imagine what you could do to his family, if they found out he was screwing around.
Tell him to back off, and shrug him off your shoulders until you get a better job.

[alysaphobia]

^agreed.
i don't think it's even allowed, aren't there lots of things in contracts that state you have to keep your relationship with your co-workers/boss strictly professional?
get out of the situation before you act on any feelings...

[cupcakex]

aren't there lots of things in contracts that state you have to keep your relationship with your co-workers/boss strictly professional?

yeah, it's called fraternizing.

[emma001young]

Thanks to all of you that have replied.

[Evanescere]

I personally don't think the age difference is the problem but his marital status and the professional relationship is. Most companies have code of ethics that strictly forbids manager-subordinate relationships because it creates a conflict of interest and possible favortism

[trooper178]

Stay out of a married persons life! You will mess up your life and the lives of others.

[*Duchess of Dork*]

I can only say, from personal experience, getting involved with a married man (regardless of age, regardless of this person being someone you work with) is really not a good idea. Someone is bound to get very hurt in the process, especially if there are children involved.

The age gap is pretty steep, but I'm really more concerned that the boss is making moves on you, particularly (bah, I'm tired and not sure if I spelled that correctly) since you are someone he supervises and because he's married. I'd be worried that he is trying to take advantage of a younger, impressionable girl.

It may hurt for a little while, but I think that you shouldn't give this relationship (if that's what you'd call it) any merit at all.

[me1issaaaa]

My manager's husband of 14 years cheated on her with one of the manager's employees, who was barely 18. Their marriage has been getting worse and worse with everyday, and I get to watch their family crumble to nothing. Don't be any part of this situation - nothing good will come from it, I guarentee you. NOTHING good.