Will he commit?, Looking for advice/thoughts... Options

[flowergirl]

Just popped in to see if any of you had any suggestions or experience. I'll try to help any of you when I come back.

I have had a long term boyfried going back along way. We have broken up before and had other girl/boyfriends, but we always got back together in the end. He has always been the one I love. He is the one I want to be with. I may as well get to the main point.

We had some relationship problems a few months ago and I had sex with someone else. Someone I did not really even like. Not only did I become pregnant, but it became known that we had had sex and that my baby is his. I am back with the love of my life again, we are seeing each other very much the way we used to, doing things like snuggle together while watching a dvd, but now I really have to think about the future of me and my child and where this would go. I am not really sure what my love wants. Perhaps he is confused himself. Can I get him to commit to me? I need to consider that I am not just 'me' any more but me and my child. If he had a baby I would be willing to adopt it if we could get together. How can I put the question to him directly?? How do guys in general feel about a baby they know isn't their's?

I don't think the biological father would be interested in seeing our baby, but I feel he could be a nasty complication I know I don't want to be with him, he is mean, irresponsible and really promiscuous.

[krnxswat]

PERSONAL ATTACKS
Flaming, trolling, member bashing-you name it-will not be tolerated here. If you're making an argument, it's always better to retort with reason and composure. Personal attacks are childish and have no place in these forums.

Content deleted. Seon Ho, please restrain from member bashing and try to be nice. This is your verbal warning. - My Cinderella.

[*incoherent*]

um, why don't you ask him? people rely on this place to much. we don't know his feelings or his emotions, therefore we have no clue what he'll do. if the person i was with got pregnant with another man and had a baby, i know i wouldn't be there especially since i'm only 18. i'm not going to be tied down to something i didn't cause.

[flowergirl]

Sorry incoherent sweety, I was just venting really, writing things down to help me sort them out in my mind. I have asked him, but he is so equivocal. I'm going to have to ask for a definite answer. Thank you for replying politely xx

incidentally I have reported the first respondant's post, but this site doesn't seem to work too well at all, so we'll just have to see what the outcome will be! :D

[*mipadi*]

Hey, good luck getting this question answered by a site full of members who are mostly 18 and under.

[flowergirl]

Oops sorry I didn't check the board's demographics. :o Oh well there was nothing to lose by making a single thread ;)

[krnxswat]

Oops sorry I didn't check the board's demographics. :o Oh well there was nothing to lose by making a single thread ;)

Your dignity.


But you probably never had them to begin with anyways.

[alysaphobia]

^ that was nice

wow... sounds like you've gone through a lot. i think firstly, you have to decide what you're going to do with your child; regardless of whether you and your boyfriend are getting back together. do YOU want to keep your child, even without her/his father? are you ready to support your own child right now, or do you want to abort or put it up for adoption? then put your boyfriend into the situation. if you want to keep your child, ask him if he'd be okay with that. it's probably a sore point for him because your child is the result of you having sex with somebody else- but if he really values your relationship, maybe he'll get over that.

[flowergirl]

Just checked in again

Thank you for thinking of me degradanca, I hope you never ever find yourself in this kind of awkward situation

I definitely want to keep my baby, and definitely want the biological father out of our lives and to stay with my other half, but this requires total commitment from him, and that's the problem, he's fence sitting

Oh and remember that member who had a post deleted? Looks like someone hasn't learned their lesson, I'm going to have to monitor their behaviour from now on

[krnxswat]

Haha, you're saying I didn't learn my lesson? Look at you dumbshi t, you're the one with the f**king baby in your stomach. I'm sure that was very intentional, am I correct? You f ucking retarded slut. Your mother should have been monitoring your behaviour since you were f**king born.