Afraid of me?!, My boyfriend is.. it's weird. Options

[pikimoo]

So.. I have a boyfriend.. we've been dating for a month or two. We're both 17 years old. We're in two of the same classes.. a couple of the same clubs.. and have a lot of the same friends. So it's not like we never see each other. Now, I'm not in any hurry or anything, but.. he doesn't hold my hand and his hugs seem pretty forced. (and are rare) He usually does this brush with his hand sort of thing.. it's a little weird. He rarely makes eye contact with me- much less starts conversations.

I understand his unusual ways to be simple timidity. He has never had a girlfriend before.. and I've... uhh... gone all the way. I don't want to go past kissing anymore, but he's not even anywhere near the holding hands ballpark!

He's a sweet kid (got me a big box of my favorite (somewhat expensive ^^;) chocolates for Valentine's day). I really do like him. And according to our friends (and his mom, and the fact that he asked me out), he likes me too. I just don't know how to go from just titles to actually dating.

I kinda suck at explaining things.. help?




(btw, I'm a returning CB member.. I joined about 3 years ago and was active for a while.. I've been lurking a bit in hopes of familiar faces.. but not a whole lot of luck there)

[cori-catastrophe]

It sounds to me like he is just a very shy person. As you said, he hasn't had a girlfriend before so he doesn't have any experience in this sort of thing. I would just take things slow so that he feels comfotable. I mean, you don't want to creep him out of anything. How long have you guys been dating? I would just kind of explain your poistion to him & ask him if he's comfortable with you. Otherwise, I don't think you guys have very much of a relation ship that goes any farther than brother-sister wise. But most likely, he's just shy. He'll get used to you.

[megggnasty]

^ I agree with Cori. I'm actually like that as well. I get very timid around people I have feelings for, and then I seclude myself from them because I don't want to do something that'll make me look like an idiot. If I was in your situation, I'd talk to him alone and tell him that you really care about him and you want this to work, but it can't until he opens up a bit. If the both of you want a relationship, you have to be able to talk to eachother and feel comfortable with eachother. It doesn't seem like he's expressing his emotions, which is important in a relationship.

Hope that helps!

[*Uronacid*]

Exactly, he just sounds shy and unexperienced. I was like that in highschool. I guess I just didn't know how to date because I havd never done it before. I ended up treating my girlfriend more like a best friend than a girl friend, and secretly had all these crazy feelings for her. Maybe he doesn't know if it's ok to kiss you, or maybe he doesn't know if you want to hold his hand. The best thing you can do is talk to him.

Ha ha, talk to him and tell him how you feel. :]

[pikimoo]

Thanks =)

We've been dating about 2 months now.. definitely taking it slow

[radhikaeatsraman]

^Also, you could try making the first move, but take it slow. Like, you could smile at him and hold his hand. Just an example.

[*Uronacid*]

^Also, you could try making the first move, but take it slow. Like, you could smile at him and hold his hand. Just an example.

Yeah, that might make him feel comfortable. If you want to progress faster you might want to try that, but you did say you wanted to to move slow... it's really up to you.

[Kontroll]

Whip it out and ride it, bitch.

Confidence galore.

Trust me, I have the same problem as him. Timidity sucks. Seriously. You have to tell him that he needs to stop being so shy. That's the only thing that works with me. Well, besides getting to know the person. But even then it's hard.

You can take it drastically, but that's slow. If you do tell him to stop being so shy, hopefully you'll get a reaction that's not normal to anything that he'll do.

Sometimes, when some one tells me I'm doing something, I'll just completely do the opposite. Like if they are telling me I'm quiet...I'll be like, 'WHAT!?!?! DID YOU SAY SOMETHING?!'

So, that's really what you want. Shock. Shock his system. Trust me. This is coming from a fellow timid pimp.

[*Monochrome.*]

So, that's really what you want. Shock. Shock his system. Trust me. This is coming from a fellow timid pimp.

A Timid Pimp?Now i have seen everything.