Is he using me?, I asked him a question but he 'Doesn't Know' Options

[me_and_the_moon]

Hello everyone, I'm still extremely new to the board but I was hoping to get some advice/help from you guys! I know that this is really long and I'm sorry but please someone read and reply.

I've been 'talking' to this guy for about six months now. When it all first started, I wasn't looking for anything serious but since then my feelings have changed. When I first met him he was playing in a band and I was just attracted to him in a way where I guess you could say I just wanted to have sex with him. I'm sure he felt the same because between playing in his band and work he didn't seem to have time for much of anything else.
Well one thing led to another. I would go watch him at his shows and we would hang out afterwards. Then I started going to his apartment. For the first couple of months I wouldn't spend the night.. cause like I said I don't believe either of us were looking for more than just a hook up. But the strange thing about it all was we would call eachother on a daily basis.
Before you know it, it was Thanksgiving. He got vacation time from his job and we basically spent all of it together, the same with Christmas and New Years. He even made sure I was with him on New Years Eve for the infamous New Years kiss. He brought me gifts for Christmas and everything.

The part that I'm confused about is.. the other day I asked him what he thought we were and his reply was "I don't know." He said that since I told him I didn't really do relationships that he hadn't thought much about it. (I never told him the reason why I didn't do relationships was because I had my heart crushed by the first guy I ever let in.) Anyways.. he called me the next day for our usual weekend hang out. (Since that's the only days he has off from work.) We ended up getting drunk. He then told me that he was crazy about me and I just didn't know how crazy about me he was.

Well I asked him again when we were sober what he thought we were and it was the same reply... "I don't know."

I just don't understand how he couldn't know if he has any type of feelings for me or not. I've met basically everyone in his family and he spends all his free time with me. How can he not know the answer to this simple question?

I really need some kind of advice and maybe a way to show him that he's changed how I feel about relationships and I'd like to have something more with him.

[*kryogenix*]

[Kontroll]

Well, first.... stop asking him what you think you guys are. Haha. Not trying to be mean, but don't ask him questions like that...or like, where were you? Why didn't you answer your phone. Haha. But that's a little off topic.

He likes you. Just a little bashful...Aww. If he wants to ask you out, he will. If you want to make the move, whatever. But that might make him feel a little less confident. Or just more turned on. Some guys like dominance. Right Bunny Bandit? Haha.

[multifaceted]

To find anything you want from a guy, buy him a couple of drinks, get him drunk and you can do virtually everything you want with him.

He likes you, obviously. He's probably not wanting to push it because you said that you weren't ready for a relationship.

[Broken Wonderwal...]

Imo, he likes u but he's confused.
Actually, how do U feel about him? you said your feelings have changed.

Maybe he doesn't want to admit that he's in love with you because u had said u don't do realtionships.

[*Uronacid*]

Seems like you want him to like you first, and sounds like he likes you a lot. You just want to hear the words right out of his mouth. It may not be obvious to you anymore because you were crushed by your first relationship. It's almost as if you don't believe that it's possible for someone to like you that way anymore, either that... or you don't want to believe that it's possible in efforts to protect yourself. You want someone else to take the first step because you were hurt.

Also, your sending all these mixed messages about not wanting to be in a relationship. When the truth is you want to be in a relationship, but you don't want to get hurt again. You are a liar. Don't feel bad we all lie once in a while, but at the same time your probably scaring him from being honest about his feelings. I know you don't want to get hurt, but he doesn't want to get hurt either. I wouldn't want to admit my feelings too or jump into a relationship with a girl that clearly told me she wasn't the type for relationships.

You can't control anyone but yourself. You need to get over that fear, be honest about how you feel, and stop sending mixed messages. It looks like there's gasoline all over that relationship and you just need a spark to light that fire. Throw that match B!TCH (sarcastic humor, don't take that offensively)!!! If you like him tell him you like him, and if you don't like him don't lead him on (men have feelings too you know).

[dangerROSE]

if he's the kind of guy most guys are, he's probably confused. He don't want to tell you, the truth because if he told you that he wanted to be something more, he's afraid you will get scared because you told him you weren't into relationships. So most likely, let things take its course. STOP ASKING HIM, he'll get ALOT MORE CONFUSED.

[me_and_the_moon]

Ive only asked him those two times and I honestly didn't plan to ask him anymore. I figured if he were going to give me an answer he would have when I asked him the first time.
My feelings for him have changed a lot in a good way. He's made me realize that good things can come out of a relationship. I trust him a lot more now than I did when we first started talking. He's done a lot to make me trust him.
There's still this doubt in the back of my head though because the guy that broke my heart did everything in his power to tear down my walls and once he did it was over. I know that he's afraid of getting hurt.. I've heard stories from his family... I just wish he knew I wasn't the type of person to hurt him.
I'm terrible with words. I can never seem to find the right things to say, especially when it comes to how I feel towards another person. I really really like this guy... it's just too hard for me to tell him that because of all the things I said in the very begining.

[Broken Wonderwal...]

I think u should e-mail him and tell him about your feelings,
You guys sound like you really like each other.
I

[*Uronacid*]

Ive only asked him those two times and I honestly didn't plan to ask him anymore. I figured if he were going to give me an answer he would have when I asked him the first time.
My feelings for him have changed a lot in a good way. He's made me realize that good things can come out of a relationship. I trust him a lot more now than I did when we first started talking. He's done a lot to make me trust him.
There's still this doubt in the back of my head though because the guy that broke my heart did everything in his power to tear down my walls and once he did it was over. I know that he's afraid of getting hurt.. I've heard stories from his family... I just wish he knew I wasn't the type of person to hurt him.
I'm terrible with words. I can never seem to find the right things to say, especially when it comes to how I feel towards another person. I really really like this guy... it's just too hard for me to tell him that because of all the things I said in the very begining.

Try writing it down on a piece of paper and reading it to him.

I think u should e-mail him and tell him about your feelings,
You guys sound like you really like each other.
I

If you can't read it to him, I would suggest this. ;]