Whats the worst sexual experience you have ever had?, :] Options

[*Uronacid*]

Well go for it!

Mine is probably when I was eating my ex girlfriend out, and she spazzed out and kicked me in the face. It hurt really bad... she was relentless, and she kicked me as hard and she could... I don't know if I did something good or bad, but it was all bad for me...

[kalhan]

woah... kicked you? your girlfriend must be very flexible

[*Uronacid*]

woah... kicked you? your girlfriend must be very flexible

Must have been.... past tense, she's not my girlfriend anymore.

but yeah, she kicked me.

[*a painefull euphoria*]

advice to guys-trim your god damn nails before you even think about fingering your female.

that way the experience is more peacefull and pleasurable for the both of yous.

[mono_logue]

still a virgin

[EddieV]

She wasn't that uh.....tight, but a few months past and we did it again, it was good!

[AngryBaby]

Well go for it!

Mine is probably when I was eating my ex girlfriend out, and she spazzed out and kicked me in the face. It hurt really bad... she was relentless, and she kicked me as hard and she could... I don't know if I did something good or bad, but it was all bad for me...

that wasn't your girlfriend. that was me. i kicked you in the face.

[datass]

^

[*sofakinglazy*]

So shes hella riding me right, then I try to donkey punch her but she moved and I hit the wall.

[*a painefull euphoria*]

^hahah wtf.

guys have the weirdest experiences ever

[voguelove]

So shes hella riding me right, then I try to donkey punch her but she moved and I hit the wall.

HAHAHAHAHA. that made me lol.

[MrStrife]

It was early morning and I just wanted a quickie but damm was I wrong!! So I was getting it on with this girl that slept over and it was ok at first, trying out new positions and what not. But after a while, I was thinking, "Shit I'm gonna be late for school." Then a lot of time passed and I started hearing "funny" noises so I freaked out plus it wasn't even on my own bed. I peeked at the clock and I couldn't believe it. It was going to be an hour and 20 min. into the first round and that killed me. I said, "Damn, why this taking so long?" and she said, "You're complaining?" I didn't want to be late for school so... I faked it! I hopped in the shower, got dressed and jogged to the bus station. Hmmm I think she knew what I did too.... *shrugs*

^I thought that thread was for everyone. *shrugs*

Also, my first time ever was on my comfortable couch. Me and my ex (shes three years older) spent the whole day together and damn was she a freak. We was fooling around for a while but then I'm like aight, went to my stash of condoms under the table and she said she gotta get ready too. I'm like huh? but later I found she was on her . Yeah anyways my first time getting it on and first time I heard a vagina fart. I looked at her for what felt like an hour and I'm in my head thinking did she just lay a fart and expecting to smell some stank gas. She looked at me like keep going fool so I did. But then she just took a pillow and covered her face with it so I couldn't even hear her. I got mad but I'm like F it I want to finish. Damn lets just say this ended with another kind of stank gas lol

[*slammin shelby*]

^I thought that thread was for everyone. *shrugs*

Also, my first time ever was on my comfortable couch. Me and my ex (shes three years older) spent the whole day together and damn was she a freak. We was fooling around for a while but then I'm like aight, went to my stash of condoms under the table and she said she gotta get ready too. I'm like huh? but later I found she was on her . Yeah anyways my first time getting it on and first time I heard a vagina fart. I looked at her for what felt like an hour and I'm in my head thinking did she just lay a fart and expecting to smell some stank gas. She looked at me like keep going fool so I did. But then she just took a pillow and covered her face with it so I couldn't even hear her. I got mad but I'm like F it I want to finish. Damn lets just say this ended with another kind of stank gas lol

i have NO idea what you just said.

[thanhmai]

i have NO idea what you just said.

I was JUST thinking that too.

[Mr. Slowjamz]

before you go out with any girl who has braces . you should shave .

[Comptine]

^ew?

that... was just so weird...reading it...haha.

[fameONE]

I believe that if you are going to do something, be into it. No matter what is, you should be into what you're doing.

When I was California, I hung out at this little bar in Huntington Beach. After a few Tom Collins, I was gone (I'm a Marine, you think they'd card me?). I tried to drink a few Red Bulls to sober up, and eventually I moved to the Sobe Green Tea. Somehow, someway, I ended up in a quaint, nicely decorated, beachside townhome with a woman I don't remember introducing myself to. I look at the clock and it was 2 am and I remember being at the bar at 10.

I got up to use the bathroom and throw some water on my face and I was shocked (and a little firghtened) at what I found. My body was completely scratched up. Nothing deep enough to leave a scar, but there were knicks and scratches all over my torso and on my back. As I'm using the bathroom, I notice that I have bite marks all over my dick. None of which broke the skin, but still, she bit me.

I get myself together, put some peroxide on my battle wonds and head back to the bedroom. I was astonished when I saw all this s&m gear laying around the room. I got back in bed and couldn't sleep. I just kept thinking, "What the hell happened?" She was sound asleep. Whatever we did, it gave her a hell of a workout.

Around 5am, I finally dozed off. At 8, she wakes me up with Starbucks and was fixing me breakfast. I think her name was Jen, Jenna, Janine, whatever; J was very, very sweet. Too sweet, almost. talking to her that morning gave me the impression that she was a very modest, conservative, uptight woman. Yea, right. I didn't ask her what happened, nor did I really want to know.

She gave me a ride back to Camp Pendleton and dropped me off in front of my barracks. We stayed in touch until she deleted her MySpace and I never heard from her again. Even if she did try to call me, I have a Japanese number now and she has no way of tracking me down unless she searched for me on MySpace again.

It was the worst for two reasons; I'm not into the whole boncage thing and I like to remember what I do if I get to doing the dirty.

[AngelinaTaylor]

Well.. mine haven't been so bad, but.. a few words to guys: nipples aren't chew toys. Once (after fooling around) they hurt for days

[*a painefull euphoria*]

^yes boys. nipple chewers are frowned upon .

[MrStrife]

Eating a girl out and her squirting all over your face. cough cough just throwing that out there I overheard that somewhere.

[ClaudelGFX]

Eating a girl out and her squirting all over your face. cough cough just throwing that out there I overheard that somewhere.

And... saying something like "Ewww" after that, will get your wuss kicked also :)))
Uhm let's see ..worse? well uhmm trying 5 times in a row to make love with my GF and all 5 times got cough by her and my parents or other members of our familys :))) eventually we endup in an full cinema... it been a little noisy but heh it happen anywayz, i still remember the name of the movie that was rolling that night, it was FearDotCom :/

[*a painefull euphoria*]

Eating a girl out and her squirting all over your face. cough cough just throwing that out there I overheard that somewhere.

^ oh ...my....thats...eww. wow.

[*WHIMSICAL 0NE*]

I believe that if you are going to do something, be into it. No matter what is, you should be into what you're doing.

When I was California, I hung out at this little bar in Huntington Beach. After a few Tom Collins, I was gone (I'm a Marine, you think they'd card me?). I tried to drink a few Red Bulls to sober up, and eventually I moved to the Sobe Green Tea. Somehow, someway, I ended up in a quaint, nicely decorated, beachside townhome with a woman I don't remember introducing myself to. I look at the clock and it was 2 am and I remember being at the bar at 10.

I got up to use the bathroom and throw some water on my face and I was shocked (and a little firghtened) at what I found. My body was completely scratched up. Nothing deep enough to leave a scar, but there were knicks and scratches all over my torso and on my back. As I'm using the bathroom, I notice that I have bite marks all over my dick. None of which broke the skin, but still, she bit me.

I get myself together, put some peroxide on my battle wonds and head back to the bedroom. I was astonished when I saw all this s&m gear laying around the room. I got back in bed and couldn't sleep. I just kept thinking, "What the hell happened?" She was sound asleep. Whatever we did, it gave her a hell of a workout.

Around 5am, I finally dozed off. At 8, she wakes me up with Starbucks and was fixing me breakfast. I think her name was Jen, Jenna, Janine, whatever; J was very, very sweet. Too sweet, almost. talking to her that morning gave me the impression that she was a very modest, conservative, uptight woman. Yea, right. I didn't ask her what happened, nor did I really want to know.

She gave me a ride back to Camp Pendleton and dropped me off in front of my barracks. We stayed in touch until she deleted her MySpace and I never heard from her again. Even if she did try to call me, I have a Japanese number now and she has no way of tracking me down unless she searched for me on MySpace again.

It was the worst for two reasons; I'm not into the whole boncage thing and I like to remember what I do if I get to doing the dirty.

I hope that's not what a lot of Marines at Camp Pendelton do. Otherwise I'll kick my brother's butt. Haha. That could be dangerous though, getting drunk and then not remembering a sexual experience.

I have friends who will get drunk and "accidentally" have sex with someone. That's a great way to catch something or end up pregnant. Ha

[Mr. Slowjamz]

I hope that's not what a lot of Marines at Camp Pendelton do. Otherwise I'll kick my brother's butt. Haha. That could be dangerous though, getting drunk and then not remembering a sexual experience.

I have friends who will get drunk and "accidentally" have sex with someone. That's a great way to catch something or end up pregnant. Ha

yea seriously lol ....thanks for that ill warning . brendan you should put those condoms when you get tipsy man .

[*kryogenix*]

9th grade: My first sexual experience that actually involved nudity. While we're fondling each other, she asks me if I like Diet Coke.

Me: It's allright. Girl: Well, I LOVE it. How 'bout you go get me a bottle of it?

I go downstairs and grab a 20 ounce bottle from the fridge. When I return, she says it's too cold.

Girl: How 'bout warming it up...by rubbing it on my tits?

So I began to rub her vigorously with the bottle. Soon enough, she asks me to shove it inside of her. She really enjoys it, and so do I because I KNOW that, with this girl, I'm definantly going to get off. That's when it gets crazy.

She rips out the bottle, opens it, and begins filling her vagina with Diet Coke. I swear, she nearly empties the volume into her vagina. I had seriously underestimated this vagina's liquid retention volume.

Girl: YOU LIKE DIET COKE?!?!?!? OH YEAH OH YEAH DRINK IT FROM ME!

I was noticebly freaked me, but I did want to get off, and I didn't want my first load-blow to be into 18.7 fluid ounces of a 0-calorie beverage. I began to go down on her, until she said the exact wrong thing.

Girl: OH YEAH, DRINK IT FROM ME! I'M THE KOOL-AID MAN! OH YEAH! OH YEAH!

I don't know how she did it with 16-year-old voice, but she sounded exactly like the Kool-Aid man from the commercials. I glanced at the wall, half-expecting him to burst through and over me a fruity beverage. I was extremely turned-off. She could tell, too. As she sat up to see what was wrong, she twisted her body in such a way that Diet Coke shot out of her vagina and all over my face, chest, and groin. And it was at that sticky, low-calorie moment that my parents chose to pull into the driveway.

[*Uronacid*]

9th grade: My first sexual experience that actually involved nudity. While we're fondling each other, she asks me if I like Diet Coke.

Me: It's allright. Girl: Well, I LOVE it. How 'bout you go get me a bottle of it?

I go downstairs and grab a 20 ounce bottle from the fridge. When I return, she says it's too cold.

Girl: How 'bout warming it up...by rubbing it on my tits?

So I began to rub her vigorously with the bottle. Soon enough, she asks me to shove it inside of her. She really enjoys it, and so do I because I KNOW that, with this girl, I'm definantly going to get off. That's when it gets crazy.

She rips out the bottle, opens it, and begins filling her vagina with Diet Coke. I swear, she nearly empties the volume into her vagina. I had seriously underestimated this vagina's liquid retention volume.

Girl: YOU LIKE DIET COKE?!?!?!? OH YEAH OH YEAH DRINK IT FROM ME!

I was noticebly freaked me, but I did want to get off, and I didn't want my first load-blow to be into 18.7 fluid ounces of a 0-calorie beverage. I began to go down on her, until she said the exact wrong thing.

Girl: OH YEAH, DRINK IT FROM ME! I'M THE KOOL-AID MAN! OH YEAH! OH YEAH!

I don't know how she did it with 16-year-old voice, but she sounded exactly like the Kool-Aid man from the commercials. I glanced at the wall, half-expecting him to burst through and over me a fruity beverage. I was extremely turned-off. She could tell, too. As she sat up to see what was wrong, she twisted her body in such a way that Diet Coke shot out of her vagina and all over my face, chest, and groin. And it was at that sticky, low-calorie moment that my parents chose to pull into the driveway.

OMG, that has to be the best story ever... XD I'm laughing so hard right now.. xD

[Kontroll]

OH YEAH! OH YEAHHHHH!

Well, my worst sexual experience took place when I was about fifteen or sixteen. The night before the experience I was talking to a friend of the sexual beast who I'd end up with the next day. The girls name was Chong and she was Asian. I have to tell you she was smokin' hot. She was sending me naked pictures and and she even sent me a video where she flashed the camera. I was like 'Yesss!' My friend Sean was asleep and I didn't plan on showing him these pictures to further better my chances of landing this fine ass girl.

The Next Day...
We head over to his friend Caitlyns house and there they are. The sexy ass asian girl Chong, and the 'Sexual Beast.' We go into her basement and start taking shots of vodka. It was the first time I had really drank before and I got drunk. It was awsome. I vouche for any person who says that girls look so much better when you're drunk.

We go on her porch and jump in the pool. We're all drunk at this point. My friend Sean says to me 'Dude, I can see her bush!' Not only did she not have a bush, but she has her underwear on, so I was pretty much just going along with him just to keep everything going smooth. When we get out of the pool Chong turns to me and asks me if I want to make out. I was like, 'YES!' So, we're making out and she stops and starts making out with Sean. The 'Sexual Beast' yells out, 'What about me?' I'm the kind of guy that will help out some one in her situation so as the nice guy that I am I started making out with her. I see in the corner of my eye Chong has her pants off and is running around in a white thong. I was like, 'DAMNIT! DAMN YOU SEAN!'

Now, we're in the basement and Sean and Chong are getting pretty nasty. She's got her clothes off and here I am with Caitlyn. So, about ten minutes later, she asks me, 'Can I give you head?' I was thinking to myself, 'I really wish you weren't even touching me.' Then I said, 'Yes.' I don't know what I was thinking.

So, this whole ordeal ended about a half hour later, and I got to leave. My mom came to pick me up and was like, 'What's that smell?' My eyes immediately opened as wide as they could. 'I'm like I don't know.' She's like, 'It smells like calogne.' I was like, 'Oh, yeah I put on some of Sean's calogne.' And my heart was racing the whole way home.

The people at her school dubbed her Quasimoto. For good reason. She's got a feckin' beak if I ever saw one.
Caitlyn. HAHA.

I know it was bad story telling, but I want you guys to experience my pain. And to let you know....My brothers found out and they got me a shirt that says...'I <3 FAT CHICKS' Now, you know where my icon came from. haha.

[ixamxyou]

Post edited.

This post has been edited by mona lisa: Feb 22 2007, 05:39 PM

[oXMuhNirvanaXo]

Post edited.

^--- wtf.. I don't think that could be that bad.. HAHA

This post has been edited by mona lisa: Feb 22 2007, 05:40 PM

[mocassinsx29]

9th grade: My first sexual experience that actually involved nudity. While we're fondling each other, she asks me if I like Diet Coke.

Me: It's allright. Girl: Well, I LOVE it. How 'bout you go get me a bottle of it?

I go downstairs and grab a 20 ounce bottle from the fridge. When I return, she says it's too cold.

Girl: How 'bout warming it up...by rubbing it on my tits?

So I began to rub her vigorously with the bottle. Soon enough, she asks me to shove it inside of her. She really enjoys it, and so do I because I KNOW that, with this girl, I'm definantly going to get off. That's when it gets crazy.

She rips out the bottle, opens it, and begins filling her vagina with Diet Coke. I swear, she nearly empties the volume into her vagina. I had seriously underestimated this vagina's liquid retention volume.

Girl: YOU LIKE DIET COKE?!?!?!? OH YEAH OH YEAH DRINK IT FROM ME!

I was noticebly freaked me, but I did want to get off, and I didn't want my first load-blow to be into 18.7 fluid ounces of a 0-calorie beverage. I began to go down on her, until she said the exact wrong thing.

Girl: OH YEAH, DRINK IT FROM ME! I'M THE KOOL-AID MAN! OH YEAH! OH YEAH!

I don't know how she did it with 16-year-old voice, but she sounded exactly like the Kool-Aid man from the commercials. I glanced at the wall, half-expecting him to burst through and over me a fruity beverage. I was extremely turned-off. She could tell, too. As she sat up to see what was wrong, she twisted her body in such a way that Diet Coke shot out of her vagina and all over my face, chest, and groin. And it was at that sticky, low-calorie moment that my parents chose to pull into the driveway.

http://www.talkchat.org/archives/000095.htm

Do you get ANYTHING that isn't ripped off?

[MrStrife]

^ooohhhh burn.

[HongKongDong]

Not too long after I lost it some years ago... this one girl. She was... she was... she was the one in charge... she was THE MAN!

[*Duchess of Dork*]

http://www.talkchat.org/archives/000095.htm

Do you get ANYTHING that isn't ripped off?

LOL

And I've got "OH YEAH I'M THE KOOL-AID MAN" stuck in my head. LOL

Not too long after I lost it some years ago... this one girl. She was... she was... she was the one in charge... she was THE MAN!

Oh my. Was it a she-male?

[HongKongDong]

Thankfully no. She was just.... she was THA BOSS

[*Monochrome.*]

9th grade: My first sexual experience that actually involved nudity. While we're fondling each other, she asks me if I like Diet Coke.

Me: It's allright. Girl: Well, I LOVE it. How 'bout you go get me a bottle of it?

I go downstairs and grab a 20 ounce bottle from the fridge. When I return, she says it's too cold.

Girl: How 'bout warming it up...by rubbing it on my tits?

So I began to rub her vigorously with the bottle. Soon enough, she asks me to shove it inside of her. She really enjoys it, and so do I because I KNOW that, with this girl, I'm definantly going to get off. That's when it gets crazy.

She rips out the bottle, opens it, and begins filling her vagina with Diet Coke. I swear, she nearly empties the volume into her vagina. I had seriously underestimated this vagina's liquid retention volume.

Girl: YOU LIKE DIET COKE?!?!?!? OH YEAH OH YEAH DRINK IT FROM ME!

I was noticebly freaked me, but I did want to get off, and I didn't want my first load-blow to be into 18.7 fluid ounces of a 0-calorie beverage. I began to go down on her, until she said the exact wrong thing.

Girl: OH YEAH, DRINK IT FROM ME! I'M THE KOOL-AID MAN! OH YEAH! OH YEAH!

I don't know how she did it with 16-year-old voice, but she sounded exactly like the Kool-Aid man from the commercials. I glanced at the wall, half-expecting him to burst through and over me a fruity beverage. I was extremely turned-off. She could tell, too. As she sat up to see what was wrong, she twisted her body in such a way that Diet Coke shot out of her vagina and all over my face, chest, and groin. And it was at that sticky, low-calorie moment that my parents chose to pull into the driveway.

HAHAHAHA THATS THE WINNER RIGHT THERE.
im choking

[American Eyeline...]

9th grade: My first sexual experience that actually involved nudity. While we're fondling each other, she asks me if I like Diet Coke.

Me: It's allright. Girl: Well, I LOVE it. How 'bout you go get me a bottle of it?

I go downstairs and grab a 20 ounce bottle from the fridge. When I return, she says it's too cold.

Girl: How 'bout warming it up...by rubbing it on my tits?

So I began to rub her vigorously with the bottle. Soon enough, she asks me to shove it inside of her. She really enjoys it, and so do I because I KNOW that, with this girl, I'm definantly going to get off. That's when it gets crazy.

She rips out the bottle, opens it, and begins filling her vagina with Diet Coke. I swear, she nearly empties the volume into her vagina. I had seriously underestimated this vagina's liquid retention volume.

Girl: YOU LIKE DIET COKE?!?!?!? OH YEAH OH YEAH DRINK IT FROM ME!

I was noticebly freaked me, but I did want to get off, and I didn't want my first load-blow to be into 18.7 fluid ounces of a 0-calorie beverage. I began to go down on her, until she said the exact wrong thing.

Girl: OH YEAH, DRINK IT FROM ME! I'M THE KOOL-AID MAN! OH YEAH! OH YEAH!

I don't know how she did it with 16-year-old voice, but she sounded exactly like the Kool-Aid man from the commercials. I glanced at the wall, half-expecting him to burst through and over me a fruity beverage. I was extremely turned-off. She could tell, too. As she sat up to see what was wrong, she twisted her body in such a way that Diet Coke shot out of her vagina and all over my face, chest, and groin. And it was at that sticky, low-calorie moment that my parents chose to pull into the driveway.

Ahahahhaaha. That made me laugh so hard, I cried.

[Grizelda1227]

lol

[*Monochrome.*]

^^^OOOOO WARN HER SHES SPAMING OOOOOOO

[niciDOOM]

we tried anal >___<
talk about ouch..

[*Monochrome.*]

^ow...that must have been a mess.

[phoenixpyre]

IM A VIRGIN!! YAY ME!!!

I got no AIDS on me :)



[Also, this is NOT a "PG-13" topic y'all]

[breakingdawn]

^What are you, twelve?

[*StanleyThePanda*]

^ He is actually 17, I believe.

[ItsFonetikkFYI]

this has got to be the best/most entertaining topic on cB.

xD

[*Monochrome.*]

IM A VIRGIN!! YAY ME!!!

I got no AIDS on me :)
[Also, this is NOT a "PG-13" topic y'all]

Moron de mierda.

[swishersweet]

came in sexual encounter with a partially deaf girl once.. it was weird.. we didnt do anything we just kissed and stuff maybe rounded a little second base? she was really hott too.. she wasn't like retarded or anything though.. good memories lol

[Amaranthus]

I was JUST thinking that too.

yay!1 im not thoe only one confuzzled around here

[Amaranthus]

9th grade: My first sexual experience that actually involved nudity. While we're fondling each other, she asks me if I like Diet Coke.

Me: It's allright. Girl: Well, I LOVE it. How 'bout you go get me a bottle of it?

I go downstairs and grab a 20 ounce bottle from the fridge. When I return, she says it's too cold.

Girl: How 'bout warming it up...by rubbing it on my tits?

So I began to rub her vigorously with the bottle. Soon enough, she asks me to shove it inside of her. She really enjoys it, and so do I because I KNOW that, with this girl, I'm definantly going to get off. That's when it gets crazy.

She rips out the bottle, opens it, and begins filling her vagina with Diet Coke. I swear, she nearly empties the volume into her vagina. I had seriously underestimated this vagina's liquid retention volume.

Girl: YOU LIKE DIET COKE?!?!?!? OH YEAH OH YEAH DRINK IT FROM ME!

I was noticebly freaked me, but I did want to get off, and I didn't want my first load-blow to be into 18.7 fluid ounces of a 0-calorie beverage. I began to go down on her, until she said the exact wrong thing.

Girl: OH YEAH, DRINK IT FROM ME! I'M THE KOOL-AID MAN! OH YEAH! OH YEAH!

I don't know how she did it with 16-year-old voice, but she sounded exactly like the Kool-Aid man from the commercials. I glanced at the wall, half-expecting him to burst through and over me a fruity beverage. I was extremely turned-off. She could tell, too. As she sat up to see what was wrong, she twisted her body in such a way that Diet Coke shot out of her vagina and all over my face, chest, and groin. And it was at that sticky, low-calorie moment that my parents chose to pull into the driveway.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHHA YOU NASTY ASS BITCH!!!!
OMG I FEEL SO BAD 4 U :(

[*Monochrome.*]

came in sexual encounter with a partially deaf girl once.. it was weird.. we didnt do anything we just kissed and stuff maybe rounded a little second base? she was really hott too.. she wasn't like retarded or anything though.. good memories lol

[datass]

What the hell James, that's scary.