When lost love returns... Options

[Winter]

I think the oldies may remember me and the issues I always have with my boyfriend. I haven't been here in a very long time so I'll just catch you guys up.

While my boyfriend was in Iraq, we had a fight about some racist things he said about Muslims so I stopped talking to him. Thinking back, he probably wasn't at a good time or in a good place but I still feel it was wrong for him to say the stuff he said. So it takes me a whole year to get over him and suddenly one day I receive a call from him. We had a long, long talk about everything and I forgive him for what he said.

I'm happy that he's back but also so pissed at him. It took me a whole year to put him in the back of my head. Does he think he can waltz right back in like nothing ever went wrong? I screamed at him and cried and screamed again and... You guys get the picture. So we had a talk about us and decided to give it another go.

But after spending some time with him, I just get this feeling that we're not on the same page anymore. I just graduated high school and I'm starting college next month. He's in the Marines and he's leaving for Iraq again next month. We're thinking about different things now. And now I feel like the age difference is really starting to show. Yeah sure I'm 17 and he's 20 and in retrospective that's only 3 years. When we met, we were both in high school so we were dealing with the same issues and everything. But now he's thinking of war and I'm thinking of shopping for new clothes for college...

I know many of you are going to say "Just break up with him!" but it's not that easy. This is a guy I loved for 3 years who consumed my life. I can't just give it up like that. We've been on and off for so many times but it's never entered my mind that one day we'll be off. We are so comfortable with each other and he is the reason that I am who I am today. Without him I'd probably be lying in a gutter somewhere.

So I don't know what to do. Do I just hang in there for another month? Since he's leaving next month and won't be back until August, that'll give me some time to think about everything. Or should I just break it off now? But I know if I break it off, Fast forward 8 months he'll be back and we'll go through the same thing again. I just don't know what to do...

[fall3n_s0ul]

I know exactly how you feel - even though I'm a guy. I had a fight with my girlfriend two years ago and we broke up. One day, we went out together , just the two of us and told each other both our love and feelings never faded. We're together again and stronger than we were before even though I'm sure we won't get into the same highschool. My point is, don't do it because you think, want to or planning to spend the rest of your lives together. Maybe you two won't last but stay together anyway but you hold on. To make each other smile and turn those smiles into memories. You two are still so young.

[demolished]

Oh really? You still love him?

Try find another guy. Let see if you can move on.

[kimmytree]

If it was me, I would try to hold on to him a little longer. If you guys have cared about each other for so long, there's gotta be something there.

Maybe try holding on at least till he has to go back, and then go from there. How long is he going to be over there? Maybe once he gets back, you guys will be back on the same level.

[OhMyAnniee]

Maybe a break? Not officially breaking up. Maybe you could 'start over' with him the next time he comes back from Iraq? I mean, that way, you both could live a little in between & have time to catch up with each others' lives. You can't wait for him forever and he can't just quit his uh, duty. You do give him something to look forward to as he comes back from Iraq.

[dpl313]

I think it's best for you to move on. Like you said you feel like you're on different pages. I mean he's in the Marines, and you're a civilian. I have some friends and relatives in the Marines, and I think if you're not in the military or traveling with them? Then dating a guy/girl in the military wouldn't work out.

[jennyjenny]

Talk to him about starting over fresh once he's back for a longer period of time.

[*xcaitlinx*]

i also think that you should go on a break. it seems like you do still love him, but your differences in life goals and such are much different. while he's gone in iraq, go out with your friends and date other guys. if you find yourself constantly comparing your boyfriend to these other guys and wishing that they were him then you know that you need to stay with him and nurture your relationship to how it used to be and try to make things work.

[Winter]

It doesn't matter now, we broke up. 3 days before our 3 year anniversary. I feel like uber crap. Now I have to make a decision. To remain friends or not. And it's not like I have much time left. He's already started packing to leave for Iraq. I just hate all this.

[Miayako]

17 + 20 = No.

I mean, honestly.