Second Chances...., Second Opinons... Options

[princess*missy]

hey everyone... .... my ex that cheated on me wants to go back out with me. My friend let me read the note that him and her were passin and he sounds really sad. I really want a second opinion before I make my final decision.....

Here's what the note between Nikki (my friend) and Adam (my ex) said..

Adam: I still care alot about Missy but I don't think I should tell her.
Nikki: Omg. man tell her she would like to know. I'm not sayin she'd want you back cause you cheated but she'd prob want to know about it.
Adam: The thing is I'm the one that broke up with her and I've regreted it ever since!!
Nikki: Why did you break up her then?
Adam: I wasn't sure how I felt about her.
Nikki: I still say tell her.
Adam: But now I know I really do love her but I feel stupid telling her that NOW!!!

That was the basics of they're conversation. I still love him alot. Do you guys think I should take him back?

[*Uronacid*]

I wouldn't give him a second chance if you can't trust him. Trust is very important in a relationship. Without trust relationships do not work... well, they work, but they're very unhealthy and bad.

If you decide not to go out with him (which I deffinitly recommend). I suggest you telling him why you made that choice. This way he thinks twice before her cheats on one of his future partners. If you feel like this maybe say, "Look, I really like you, but trust is an important factor in the well being of a relationship. I don't trust you after what you did. No matter how sorry you are, it won't work. I'm sorry; I forgive you for what hapened, but I can't go back out with you."

Quote from the movie Identity, "Whores don't get a second chance!"

lol, forgivness isn't a bad thing either. So if you think you can handle another relationship, and forget about what happened then you may be able to have another realtionship with him.

[***Lucy**]

That's a difficult one... Trust is the most important thing in a relationship.
The important thing isn't if you'll get him back but why you'll finally decide to take him back.

It seems ok if :
-he is truly honest
-He's pretty serious about it and u are sure that he won't do it again
-He's shown in the past that he's trustworthy and he respects you

Good luck and tell us what you finally decided.

[xlitoxb]

Well, he does seem sincere about it since he knows he was the one at fault. I, personally, wouldn't trust the guy ever again, but I don't know him like you do. Just take precautions before going out with him again if you want to. Why don't you just try dating again first, to see if you're comfortable with him again and stuff. =]

[_sarcastic_]

like what everyone else said. you have gotta really trust him to take him back. i mean he might cheat again right?
just talk to him about it

[OhMyAnniee]

If you take him back I would first tell him that you want to start all over. Pretend like you guys just met & really like each other.

If you don't take him back, tell him that you just can't handle it if he cheated on you again.

I have a feeling that you will end up giving him a second chance, though. I would really stress the importance of what happened last time & how tough it was and then like I said, start all over.

[*Infinite.*]

Well are you willing to let him have the chance to do the same thing to you once again? Or do you trust him enough that he won't ever do it again?

[kimmytree]

I'd give him a second chance...

[Anna-x-chan]

Well, if he cheated on you and you take him back, you should be prepared for it to happen again. People don't change just like that, y'know? It takes awhile. If I was you I wouldn't take him back after what he did to me.

[*My Cinderella.*]

This one is always hard. There is the one that goes: Once a cheater, always a cheater. or you can listening to the one that says: Everyone deserves a second chance. I guess it really depends on how much you trust him, and if you're willing to risk the chance of getting hurt.

[princess*missy]

Thanks everyone for your replys.... .... The majority of you said "No" to taking him back... As of right now, I don't trust him at all.... I really do want to be with him though, so here's what I'm gonna do, I'm gonna tell him this in a note.

Adam,
Look, I know you still have feelings for me and the truth is I still have feelings for you. If you want us to get back together there is some things that you need to know. Trust is what makes a relationship, and ever since you cheated, you lost my trust. I do forgive you for what happened, although I can't forget it.. Well, I have nothing else to say so I'll talk to you later...

What do you guys think of that? Should I add anything or delete anything?

-Reply Soon-

[Trinie]

he cheated on you hun. thats kinda messed up. but if you give if him a second chance, just be careful. "once a cheater, always a cheater." but who knows you know, maybe he will change.

and thats a good reply to his note. :)

[princess*missy]

thanks everyone for your replys ... I think I'm gonna give him a second chance... But I promise you guys I will be careful ..

and thats a good reply to his note. :)

Thanks Girl!

[***Lucy**]

I think you should talk to him in person .
Notes are cute but this is quite important so just go and talk to him so u guys can work things out.

But if u prefer a note i think your note is ok

I'm really not very good at this kinda stuff w/ notes and all..

Tell us waht u eventually did!

Good luck

[xostolenkissezox]

i was put in the same position as you were...although he didn't cheat on me, he led me on when come to find out he didn't really want to be with me. it took us 4 years to get to a point of being friends again because we both needed time to grow up but we gave a relationship a real try and this time everything is great. i guess it just depends on if he's had time to grow up and realize what he did wrong.

[princess*missy]

Tell us waht u eventually did!

Good luck

Well, I broke up with the guy I was dating (Matt) because I still had feelings for Adam and also because he was too a little weird for me.

As far as things between me and Adam, We're still talking things out, we're not dating yet. I'm not even sure if I want him back. I do because I love him, but I don't because he hurt me badly, and if I take him back, I'm just giving him the chance to do it all over again.

LOVE SUCKS BIG TIME!!!

i was put in the same position as you were...although he didn't cheat on me, he led me on when come to find out he didn't really want to be with me. it took us 4 years to get to a point of being friends again because we both needed time to grow up but we gave a relationship a real try and this time everything is great. i guess it just depends on if he's had time to grow up and realize what he did wrong.

awww.. that's horrible.. but at least in the end it all worked out.....
I think that's exactly what most guys need, (to grow up) and some girls too....