He asked me not to come to the party. Options

[misfit]

My boyfriend and I are invited to his friends party, but my boyfriend basicly uninvited me. He basicly doesn't want me to wreck my night. Ok I have bad anxiety and might end up needing to go home early. A while back at his friends parties, I was like a hermit crab, alway in my shell coz i was so self concious and he wanted me to come so i'd open up more and make the effort and I did.Now he's basicly asking me to go back into my shell just to make him happy.
I am so upset,he's such an a-hole. It's not as if I was going to leave at 10pm at night. I said we can leave at like 3am or whatever, I just didn't really wanna stay the night and if he was me, I wouldn't ask him not to come, i'd try make him feel more comfortable so he didn't want to leave. I can't win. What do you think?

[*yrrnotelekktric*]

Your boyfriend doesn`t want you to go a party after he told you to open up?
That`s interesting Maybe he thinks it`s best for you? I don`t know. What kind of party is it? If it`s a "wild" party, I could understand, but if it`s a pretty chill one, I don`t get his reasoning. Scratch that. He has no reasoning. Ask him. That`s the best I can say.

[Listelle]

Wow, I don't want to judge your bf so quickly.. but that's kinda wrong. Maybe he's worried you're going to be clingly all night and he's really looking forward to having some fun, but he should consider your feelings a little more. You said you were going to make an effort to come out of your shell more, so he should be encouraging you, not telling you to stay home. Have you tried talking to him about it? I know everyone is going to tell you to do that, but that's just because it actually does work.

And the following is bad advice, so don't listen to me, but if I was you, I'd go to that party looking as good as anything, have a ton of fun, be incredibly social, and dis the bf all night just to teach him a lesson. It'll be great to see him brooding in a corner while you're laughing about something with a bunch of cool people. But yeah. Don't do that.

[Hiphop d[-_-]b]

f**k that. Go if you want and leave when you want, he doesn't control you. If he doesn't want you there, then simply dance and do other party things with your friends and have fun.

[*x1227x*]

^ agree. dont listen to what he says. you do whatever you want and he doesn't have the power to tell you what you can't do and what you can do. just go to the party and have fun with your friends and screw your bf and just have fun for the night and forget him.

[Mizz1Exquisite]

ok well um just chill out go to the partyand tuffen up and get your f**king self out there and dont listen to you bf mabye he thinks its best cuz you get all weird at party's but you have to decied if your ready to go meet people or you just need some more time.Anyways dont f**k up your bf he just wants to have a good time unless your willing to have a god time to and open up i suggest you dont go.

[iROCKYOURSOCKS]

b\' date=\'Sep 14 2006, 9:54 PM\' post=\'2282755\']
f**k that. Go if you want and leave when you want, he doesn\'t control you. If he doesn\'t want you there, then simply dance and do other party things with your friends and have fun.

i could not have said it better myself.

i mean wat the hell why are you letting yourself be controlled by your boyfriend i mean dont you have like a will of your own? the hell with him you leave when you wanna leave and do wat you wanna do why? because hes not your dad or your husband HES YOUR BOYFRIEND and if he doesnt like it than the hell with him if he wants to leave early and you dont he can leave whenever the hell he wants to and he doesnt need to drag you with him. jeez dont be so nice to him if hes a little bitch then tell him hes a little bitch dont be so nice and try to find a way to make him happy.

if he doesnt want to bring you to the party thats jus jacked up and i would go anyway just in case he flirts with some broad and if he catches you there and gets all pissed just say you came with your bestfriend ( preferly a guy best friend) and have fun!

[misfit]

I see where you are coming from, but he doesn't want me to come because it's not as if it's around the corner.He said that if it was around the corner, then he wouldn't care,coz then i'd easily be able to go home. But he said he doesn't want to go home at like 11 at night he wants to be able to stay the night, so he said if I get anxiety then I can go home by myself and then he said if I go home at like 3 in the morning then he will come with me coz he doesnt want me on my own on a bus that late. So it's like if I have anxiety he won't be there for me, but if it's late at night then he will be there for me. I understand he wants to stay long, but to not ask me to come?That's f**ked up.

[Mizz1Exquisite]

Yeah ok that is kinda f**ked up but its your fault to i mean i really dont know what you fear all that much honestly i think you have issues that you have to get over by yourself.He wants to party and have fun but you are holding him back and thats not ok .I think you and i both know that its you who is going to create problems bettween you and your bf because you cant try or make a sacrifice for him that would mean the world to him.My opinion just dont go if you know you can handle it.

[misfit]

Turns out I took it all the wrong way. When he said is it alright you don't come?He meant, you sure you don't want to come...I really should learn to not over react and he ignored me and that coz I wouldn't listen...It's coz of my negative thoughts i get ,i'm an idiot. But he partly was worried baout me coming coz of my anxiety and it's far away from home.

[AngelinaTaylor]

^ Don't try to justify his actions. Your boyfriend is a jackass.

[_sarcastic_]

it doesn't matter if he's worried about your anxiety, i mean yeah it's good that he does but he shouldn't control you and such.
go to the party have fun, and leave whenever you want to, not like he HAS to leave with you right?

[blacknailpolish]

Don't try to justify his actions. Your boyfriend is a jackass.

^Exactly. Just go to the party and try to relax, no one is going to care about what you're wearing or how you're dancing or any of that sh*t, they're going to be too busy having fun on their own. Just loosen up and stop worrying about what other ppl think, including your bf, who shouldn't be telling you when to go to parties or not, even if you can't be yourself at them. Just go and do whatever you want.

[Mizz1Exquisite]

Oh you people are stubborn you refuse to look at it from his piont of view he is worried about her but he is worried that she is going to give problems concerning that is very shy.She isn't finding reasons to forgive him its just thats what it is you cant just jump to conclusionds saying that he said this and that before you actually ask him.Besides i dont her boyfriend could have been that horrible for not asking her out to one party.

[misfit]

Well for starters, I got it wrong. He didn't ask me not to come.
He just used different words, because I said I don't know if I will come. And then he said, is it alright that you don't come?As in, are you sure you don't want to come. He knows what it's like for me because he understands. I can be shy around new people yes, but I start to get anxious, sometimes even over nothing, but mainly it will come on if i'm far away from home or something,it'll sometimes just come on suddenly & then I will start to panic. He just didn't want me to be in that situation, because if I got really anxious, i'd want to go home and it'd still take a fair bit of time to get home on the night bus.And plus if I wanted to go home early, then it'd suck coz we'd come all that way and not have been there for that long.

I spose if I had lasted for a fair amount of time, without getting anxious, then he'd be alright to leave with me, I know I could of just stayed the night but I have trouble getting to sleep at other peoples houses,its so shit. and doesn't help if I have anxiety at the time..

He wanted me to come he just didn't want to have to leave early because it's like 2 hours away.

[princess*missy]

mine's going good fer now. We just celebrated our 1 month anniversary Saturday. We went out to eat at this seafood resturant and then walked in the woods on the path behind it. We sat on the bench and looked at the water, and then we have our own star so we looked at that for a while. I love him soo much... I hope we stay together fer a long time!

[sillakilla220]

y'kno this kind of situation is always tricky. u should really talk him into lettin u go to this party with him. when u get there, show him u are going to break out of your shell by doin a lil strip tease for him and his friends. if he likes it, take him and a few of his friends into a separate room and give them all blowjobs and sexy as u can... i think this will ease his tensions about bringin u out to parties.

[misfit]

y'kno this kind of situation is always tricky. u should really talk him into lettin u go to this party with him. when u get there, show him u are going to break out of your shell by doin a lil strip tease for him and his friends. if he likes it, take him and a few of his friends into a separate room and give them all blowjobs and sexy as u can... i think this will ease his tensions about bringin u out to parties.

Wtf you sicko??? and the girl above, um maybe read the thread before you post?

[KissMe2408]

y'kno this kind of situation is always tricky. u should really talk him into lettin u go to this party with him. when u get there, show him u are going to break out of your shell by doin a lil strip tease for him and his friends. if he likes it, take him and a few of his friends into a separate room and give them all blowjobs and sexy as u can... i think this will ease his tensions about bringin u out to parties.

That was really innappropriate and uncalled for.
Consider this your verbal warning.

[misfit]

=/ what a weirdo. Well i've been thinking and I think I am the one who needs to change in this relationship, i'm always negative about myself, & half the time I take how im feeling out on him & look at everythng negatively.