i have this friend, and she is making me and my bff mad... Options

[shinysparkle3]

okay, so, me and ashley have this freind and she has a REALLY low self esteem and she always has. she is always talking bad about herself and its really annoying. she always talks bad about guys that me and ashley talk to saying "oh hes a football player dont hang out with him" or "oh yeah, thaaaat guy, there is something about him i dont like" or "eww dont talk to him he skateboards" or "oh yeah i bet he doesnt even remember me." and she thinks that EVERY GIRL in the WHOLE school give her the evil eye and that they hate her. its REALLY annoying. she always says how ungly and fat she is. yeah, i mean, she isnt that skinny and she isnt that pretty but like its annoying.
she is really sensitive..

how should we tell her that its getting old?

[goodcharlotte]

Try sitting her down and telling her that she is bringing you two down too. Not only her. Tell her that she needs to stop feeling bad for herself and should be more confident.

Hello Kriti

[loveneko]

Do what I would do in this situation, wait till she says it to you on a pissy day. Where you could care less, then tell it to her exactly like this.
Shut up. Stop bicthing about it, do you seriously think that youre sooo important that everyone has you on the mind all the time? I love you, youre my friend and all. But it has got to stop. Next time I hear you say the same old tired stuff. I'm just gonna walk away.

Cuz the same thing happened to me, and thats exactly what I told her, but I cursed alot more. The next day she came back with that same sob sh*t, and I walked away from her no questions asked. I saw her at the end of day and i told her, if you don't have somethin' productive to say then keep that sh*t to yourself. And we've been friends ever since. No problems.

Oh and for the fat thing, tell her if she wants to lose weight you'll help her cuz youre a good friend, and she should take the stairs instead of the elevator. MATTER OF FACT. Allow her to make fun of you, and you make fun of her. You might not think that it'll help, but it'll raise her self confidence. That's how I did it, me and my friends make fun of each other all the time. We know what subjects not to touch, and if they are touched then it's got to be a really good joke, and it always is. we make fun of weight, height, skin colour, smartness, the amount of boys we attract, hair, nails, feet, nationality. Everything. It'll help. Tell her to keep an open mind. If she uses that old, if you were my friend you wouldn't say that line just tell her I am your friend, thats why im taking out all your faults and putting them out there. The sooner you begin to love your faults, the sooner you stop whining and complaining.

I hope this helps, it helped with me.

[doork]

I have a friend like that.. she doesn`t have low self-esteem. She just wants attention. Tell her to STFU. lols. Sorry I don`t have much patience to deal with people like that, but thats what I would do.. So yeah..

[loveneko]

I have a friend like that.. she doesn`t have low self-esteem. She just wants attention. Tell her to STFU. lols. Sorry I don`t have much patience to deal with people like that, but thats what I would do.. So yeah..

You know it. i'm with her!!!!!!!! I just can't deal with it.

[blacknailpolish]

I'm with you guys, I can't stand people like that they are the bane of my existence, which is why I always tell them, in an extremely caring way, to stfu and stop bctihing about everything, because if she really had a low self esteem, she wouldn't do that all the time and you know it's just for attention. You just need to be up front and honest, and harshness will also go a long way.

[demolished]

give her a book about girls w/ low esteem.

[*This Confession*]

Tell her how you both feel and think. Don't be harsh about it or anything. Accept what she thinks and in return she should except what you both think.

Just go somewehre have a sleepover or something what ever you guys do and just talk about it. Ask her why she thinks that and such. I mean if every girl in the whole school gave her the evil eye then why aren't you guys doing it? She needs to lossen up and get some self esteem and if she doesnt' clear it up on her own then tell her to go to a cousular or something.


Maybe you both could help her gain some self esteem

http://www.utexas.edu/student/cmhc/booklet...em/selfest.html

Maybe go to a book store and go to the self help section and find a book full of quizzes to help you gain self esteem, I know there are some out there. Because I always like going over to that section and looking at books. All three of you can take the quizzes and maybe make some fun out of it, it will probably give you results and how you guys can improve your answers and all change the way you think of things.


Could be just an excuse that she uses, to get attention.

http://www.jobjournal.com/article_full_text.asp?artid=1169

http://www.womensweb.ca/self/


Random links pretty much. They should have something useful in them perhaps.

[OhMyAnniee]

if everyone else realizes this too, someone needs to confront her. you could lash it out on her but don't overdue it to make her feel bad. one of my friends would always cry & fight with her boyfriend so that people would comfort her. it got really annoying so me and my friends sort of stopped talking to her & i think she got the idea but she still does it.

i forgot to add that if you and your bff notice these things about her.. just defend yourself. like if you say.. " omg that guy is so hot. " and your friend says " EW! he's ugly! just look at his hair! " or something like that, just have your bff say something like " i think he's great. he's really nice! " so then your other friend will calm down.

[iROCKYOURSOCKS]

UGH I HATE IT WHEN PEOPLE DO THAT!!! shit it jus pisses me off. first you need to calmly tell her why she is always putting herself down ask her if its for attention or just to make your life a living hell. tell her that her same \"boohoo im so ugly boohoo\" sob story is really ANNOYING. tell her that the WHOLE skool has better things to do than judge her all day long and tell her that not everyone in the whole world is going to like her their will be eventually someone who doesnt like her and she needs to grow out of her little fantasy world. she prolly hates that you and your friend ashley go and talk to guys because maybe she has had bad experiences with guys during her life so she might even be experiencing jealousy that you and your friend have dudes attention and she doesnt so she SELFISHLY tries to get you and your friend to not talk to anybody just for HER sake thats really inmature in her part.


if she is so concerned over her looks you and your friend could help her out to make her go on a diet and start taking care of herself like makeup and clothes wise. make it an all girls shopping spreee for her so your friend could get her self esteem up again.

im sorry if i was rude about your friend but it really is impatient for me that people seriously think that by bitching about themselves day and night it will make them feel better or have people feel sorry for them. its just ANNOYING.

[shinysparkle3]

me and ashley TRY to hang out with her, but shes allways like "NO! I CANT! MY DAD.. blah blah blah.." its like "WTF! YOU DIDNT EVEN ASK!" so we stopped even inviting her bc its just a waste of breath and then she gets soo mad at that!

[*yrrnotelekktric*]

I have a friend like that.. she doesn`t have low self-esteem. She just wants attention. Tell her to STFU. lols. Sorry I don`t have much patience to deal with people like that, but thats what I would do.. So yeah..

word.

[*This Confession*]

me and ashley TRY to hang out with her, but shes allways like "NO! I CANT! MY DAD.. blah blah blah.." its like "WTF! YOU DIDNT EVEN ASK!" so we stopped even inviting her bc its just a waste of breath and then she gets soo mad at that!

I suppose in a way not giving up could show a way that you guys care. I mean if you feel that its just a waste of time completely then you could just give up on her completely.

Its up to you both.

[*x1227x*]

confront her, and tell her your feelings. if she gets mad when you hang out with other people that she doesn't like, than dont be her friend, cause if she's not going to accept that fact that you're going to hang out with other people, than she's not really a "friend," because a friend accepts you for you.

[xforgottenlove]

i would just tell her the truth. i mean the truth may be hard to handle but you gotta hear it sometime..

[OkamaPower]

heres a play i wrote for you lol

ACT 1 of 1
You: Look!!! Stop it okay!
---stare at her eyes---
Freind:Uhhh stop what?
You: Why are you always like this?
Your always talking bad about people and about yourself!
could you please... stop that... everyone doesnt hate you.
your beautiful and stop talking about yourself
how would you know about people if you havent met them yet?
your a great person and no one hates you...
If you have all these comments could you not say them unless its something good?
Ashely: in her mind--( omfg this is sweeetuh!!!1111111one one one)
you:--- hand on her shoullder ---

since i know how most girls are they would probably fight and not become freinds anymore


you: ---big ass smile with teeth showing---
we still freinds ok ok ok?! ok we buddies! this talk didnt happen....
you hear that ashley?!
ashley: in her mind ---(.....$#@%@$#%!!!!!!!!111one one one)


give it a try.... seriously.... i did something like this to my brother except with touchy stuff... i said why do you treat me like this? my whole life.... what did i do to you. and he was actually silent and walked out the room. the first time something like that happen in this lifetime!

[shinysparkle3]

awh, you guys/girls are great.
such good advice


where's ashley?! she needs to read this!!!
lol