This is my situation., help/adviced is appreciated. Options

[shigger_sweetie]

Here's my situation.
I really need some assurance or something.
Male or Female opinions it doesn't matter.
This is a tad long so please don't fret.

Ill start of by giving some detailed information.
>Im going to be a Junior this fall. Highschool.
<I'm a pretty tall lad. 6 footer.
>I have about 2 long term close/best friends.
Not to mention i do have alot of friends.
But those 2 are the ones i knew since kindergarten.

My two close friends are all going to be juniors like me, and we go to different schools. Not too long ago before we entered high school, we all have changed dramatically. My best friend "K" has changed alot. She has numerous of guys numbers and talks to many of them. She cares about how she looks and dresses twenty-four seven. Which I'm not knockin' because I do too. [Just not 24/7]. She has had boyfriends, interacted sexually with them. Right now at this moment she is single slash taken. Its confusing so Ill leave it at that. But she hasnt had actual sex yet. Which I hope she waits. She doesnt smoke or drink, which Im glad. She's goes to school, but doesnt really go up to her needs. She lets petty stuff distract her. Her grades could be better. But she's became a little too... FAST. I don't really like that term but I can't think of anything else.

My close friend "C" has changed alot too. She smokes [weed], but she said she stopped which I really don't think is true. She has had sex more then once. She has many of guys numbers too. And talks to them. She has a boyfriend, her 5th one. She has had sex with each of them. And haven't stayed in the relationship for no more then 2 or 3 months. Her guy choice really isn't all that great either. She's kind of off and on about school. To tell you the truth I don't know if she will go to school this fall. She in a tough situation herself. Which I understand. She's a foster child. But my motto is that's not an excuse for her behavior because she stays with her Aunt and Uncle and 2 cousins. She became.. well highly experienced now.

[size=3]What is this leading too you ask?

Im the complete opposite from them.
I'm at times ashame to admit it to people, but Im [well according to my two friends] the "goody goody" one in the group. I mean yeah I know you try things in your highschool years. But I think what there doing is a little too overboard. Like they do those things for the Pride of it. To be proud of what they got.
I have not had my first kiss yet Im 16.
I'm still a virgin and damn proud.
I have had one boyfriend but it really wasn't a relationship. More just good friends.
I never smoked anything. . .nor have I drinked.
I get above average grades..and plan on going to a university.
I play sports, something I love.
I have never been to an actual party like drinking dancing and all that.

Now don't get me wrong Im not the type of person that thinks its oh so horrible. Some of it is, but not all of it. Nor do I think that Im too good for that. It's just I choose not to do that stuff. Yeah Im still a cool 16 year old girl. And I'm tall, Im taller then majority of guys and my friends say this to me alot, "oh we can't find guys for you, your so gigantic". I mean I would really love to have a boyfriend[usually someone my height or taller], or my first kiss, not right now, but this junior year maybe.

There's just questions about all this I ask myself alot:
Am I behind or not up to speed since majority of teens have done the basic things I have not even done yet?
Is it normal?
Do highschool guys even like tall slim girls?
Should I feel like the "goody goody" one in my group because I havent done the things my close friends have done?


Help is really needed here. Guys and Gals with some pointers/advice/thoughts or whatever is encouraged right now.
-Zoey

[*T0rmented_Soul*]

Two words Peer Pressure, don't fall into peer pressure, and don't fall into things that might lead you to regret someday.. Im a senior now and I f***** up my whole Junior year..started out fresh, 3.5 gpa first semester untill I was pressured into cuttin class, not doing my work..and behavior changes in me..for a good 4-5 months I wasn't even myself..I cutted school cuz i wanted too..If I didnt feel like going I stayed home or went somewhere else..to make a long story short..Don't listen to what they have to say..even if its your long term close friends..I mean they might wanna do that to their own selves and body..that doesn;t mean you have to degrade your self in doing it oo..Thats good your still a virgin..and it doesn;t make you look like a dork if your 16 and haven't done all that shit yet..most of it isn;t any fun anyways. the party's may be koo but then drinking and being wasted and smokin weed isn't koo.. I use to that stuff..but changed my life around..I didn;t wanna be in school and have no future.. Being a good goody ain't no shame, yeah maybe some guys like slim girls..but what stands out the most is how you present your self..your friends may be pressuring you but then theres alot of people who feel like you too, and may even look up to you, that you wait and don;t do any of those things that make you look bad...soo yeah hope this helps.

[sakaitone]

What is this leading too you ask?

There's just questions about all this I ask myself alot:
Am I behind or not up to speed since majority of teens have done the basic things I have not even done yet?
Is it normal?
Do highschool guys even like tall slim girls?
Should I feel like the "goody goody" one in my group because I havent done the things my close friends have done?


Help is really needed here. Guys and Gals with some pointers/advice/thoughts or whatever is encouraged right now.
-Zoey

1. You don't have to do everything that ' the majority of other teens' do. Do you honestly want to try drugs or sex just because most teens your age have? Don't you care about the risks?
2. It's perfectly normal not to have sex yet or smoke weed or to want to go to college and if it isn't who cares? What you do is your decision.
3. There are high school guys that like tall slim girls but it all come down to thier "taste" in girls.
4. I can't tell you what you should feel because what you feel is just what you feel. And if you do feel like the "goody goody" in your group, what's wrong with that? Being good isn't the end of the world. If you wanna break out from your "goody goody" shell and have sex or smoke weed, well I can't stop, now can I?

[shigger_sweetie]

Thanks Mike that really did help out alot.. Especially because it came from a Male perspective. It did give me alot of insight seriously. I hope all works out with you this year considering its your last year. But I know you are going to be exceptionally fine.

And thanks also to you sakaitone .
Im not going to change because of them. Never will I start doing drugs or become a drinker like them. I know the risk about sex and all that other stuff. That's why I choose not to do those things. To me it just felt like I was being too too safe.

[*T0rmented_Soul*]

Glad I can be of help oooh you from the bay?? I use to live in the sco..bad years there though.

[Chii]

What do you mean "Never will I start doing drugs or become a drinker like them"? From what I read only one of them does drugs and that's it. Neither of them drink.

How do you know if they do those things just to be proud? Just because you're not into that kind of stuff doesn't mean that they're just doing it for show. Maybe they truly enjoy being sexual. I enjoy being sexual and I don't tell the world about it to show off...or at least I don't mean to. I don't find my sexual history degrading and I started being sexually active when I was about 14/15. I was sexually active because that was what I wanted, not because I wanted recognition or whatnot. Hell, I was the one who made the first move when I was 14.

If you're proud to be a virgin and proud of all that other goody goody stuff then why are you so concerned about whether or not it's normal? Live your life the way you want to. If you want to be a prude, then be a prude. So what if your friends are sexually active? Let them live their life and "don't knock it unless you've tried it."

[iROCKYOURSOCKS]

most girls today only say they do hecka shit just to fit in and look oh so cool in high school. if it really bothers you what your friends do then why do you think you have to catch up to them? just be yourself i knew this girl from like 6th grade and she was hella smart and a goody goody and she changed once she got to high skool because everyone said it was cool to have sex and do drugs and she has the worst reputation ever and she regrets doing the things that she has done because people wont piss off and leave her alone. girl you dont have to do all those things just to be "cool" the thing that people will notice more about you is your individuality not following everyone .

i agree with Chii just let your friends live there life and if you wanna do wat they do do it but on your own account not because of the peer pressure. do it because you WANT TO.

if your friends make fun of you then tell them who do they think they are to be judging you.

[shigger_sweetie]

What do you mean "Never will I start doing drugs or become a drinker like them"? From what I read only one of them does drugs and that's it. Neither of them drink.

How do you know if they do those things just to be proud? Just because you're not into that kind of stuff doesn't mean that they're just doing it for show. Maybe they truly enjoy being sexual. I enjoy being sexual and I don't tell the world about it to show off...or at least I don't mean to. I don't find my sexual history degrading and I started being sexually active when I was about 14/15. I was sexually active because that was what I wanted, not because I wanted recognition or whatnot. Hell, I was the one who made the first move when I was 14.

If you're proud to be a virgin and proud of all that other goody goody stuff then why are you so concerned about whether or not it's normal? Live your life the way you want to. If you want to be a prude, then be a prude. So what if your friends are sexually active? Let them live their life and "don't knock it unless you've tried it."

What I mean by never is that Im not going to do it.
I have seen what has happened to my other friend. And I know its just not the life for me.
I know they are proud of it because they tell me. Its not like im sitting there just guessing about them. I have known them since we were 4 years old. They rant and rave about it to me. Im their live walking diary. Im not going to tell them stop talking to me about their lives because they are my friends and I'm always there to help them whenever something happens. Thats nice and all that your sexually active. But how we grew up and how we were raised and what we were taught, doing all those bad things [such as sex at such a young age, smoking, drinking, and all this other shit, at a young age] are sad and ridiculous. And I don't consider myself GOODY GOODY, that's what they say about me. I just considered myself on the right path.
And it's not a so what if my friends are sexually active because I care about their health. Im not gonna let it slip passed my mind when I know they are having uprotected oral sex/sex. I care about them. And I want them to find the better joys of life rather then doing some of the things they do.

[clarity]

Two words Peer Pressure

Yes, agreed. And just remember, be yourself. Whats not normal is if you arn't yourself.

[iROCKYOURSOCKS]

sorry Delightfully Colored but you cannot control your friends behavior not everyone is going to be like you that you get taught well and actually take what you learned and apply it the real world because it does not work that way nobody thinks the same. i know that you care about your friends but they are not elementary skool kids they are teenagers who are growing into adulthood and you cant always be there to hold there hands. the most that you can do is talk to them and give them advice about the dangers of sex/oral sex, drugs and alcohol but you cant force them not to do something if they want to do it.

oh yea and its not fair for them etheir to treat you like some kind of diary that is ridiculous you are their friend and not somekind of living diary that they say all their sexual experiences to no matter how close friends you guys are.

[shigger_sweetie]

Yeak I know. It's like Im there go to person when they have done something wrong. But oh well. I'm doing what I can and thats all I'm going to be able to do.

[felicity*aka*fe]

No, your not. Our society has this big stereotype of american teenagers....and sue a lot do...but a lot aren't like that. You will do it when you feel comfortable and only then and u won't even have to think about it.

p.s. about the kiss thing...i got my first one that i actually count when i was 16...don't worry about it

[blacknailpolish]

These people are right, you can't convince your friends to stop doing the things they do... but in the end, they'll be the ones regretting the things they did in junior year, and you'll be the one who made the right choice for u.

[*Uronacid*]

There's just questions about all this I ask myself alot:
Am I behind or not up to speed since majority of teens have done the basic things I have not even done yet?

No you are not behind at all, in fact... you're ahead of the game. Being in a relationship, gettting your first kiss, drinking, and smoking only lead to compications in your highschool life. Your friends are going to regret what they did in the long term.

Is it normal?

No, people like you are not normal at all, but is it really a bad thing if you aren't? Alot of kids smoke weed, have sex, and drink by the time they are 18, but that doesn't meam that it's right to do those things. I was the goody good kid until I turned about 16 years old. The imortant thing is not to judge people. People who are "goody goodies" often judge people who aren't. I know I did. That's wrong, and it turns people away fromdoing the right thing. Accept people for who they are and what they do. You don't have to participate in what they do, and you certainly don't have to praise them for things that you know are wrong either.

Do highschool guys even like tall slim girls?

Some do, and some don't. Everyone has their opinions, and I'm sure there is someone out there who is just right fo you.

Should I feel like the "goody goody" one in my group because I havent done the things my close friends have done?

No, like I said before. The goody goodeis re the people who judge other for what they do. It's not your job to judge people. They can take resposibility for their own actions when they
are forced to accept the consequences.

[shigger_sweetie]

Hey thanks to you guys.
Uronacid
candy_coated_kisses
felicity*aka*fe

Yeah..I'm more clear of things now. I feel alot more better then before.
They are going to have to take their own mistakes,
and accept the consequences.

[*suddenly she*]

yeah, so you've replied back and all. but i want to post anyway.
you're not behind on anything. honestly, your two friends sound a bit trashy, so the fact that you haven't done what they've done isn't a bad thing.

you sound like a cool person.

[shigger_sweetie]

Hey thanks a bunch suddenly she !
You seem like a really cool person too.
And thanks for reassuring about that, yeah it just makes me feel more and more relaxed and okay now.

[HopeLessRomantic...]

I agree with most of the things ppl are sayin on here.. don't give into peer pressure just because everyone else is... I think it is great that you have lasted this long without all that nonsence. I'm about the same age as you and I have did some stuff... not all of it.. but some... and I'm not sayin I really regret it.. but I do just wish i could have waited a little longer. Judging by all the stuff you put about you, you really got a lot goin for ya... with college and everything... don't mess that up with stupid high school stuff. =]

[lyin_in_wait]

There's just questions about all this I ask myself alot:
Am I behind or not up to speed since majority of teens have done the basic things I have not even done yet? no no no, you stay the way you are. its better to be pure than a whore

Is it normal?there are plenty of people who are like you, and theres nothing wrong with that

Do highschool guys even like tall slim girls?some do some dont. im 5'4 and when i started dating my bf i was 155. that is definitely not a stick

Should I feel like the "goody goody" one in my group because I havent done the things my close friends have done?you can. but you give it a bad connotation. try looking it as, you know what you want in life. your not about to follow the crowd and bring yourself down...


when i became sexually active at 16 its because i wanted it. i do not use it to boost my rep, hell ive only done it with one person. but i dont smoke, i dont drink, my grades are ok. and thats good enough for me. i have friends who do smoke, drink, scew multiple people and that life isnt for me. its ok to be who you are, many people wait until after they are married, lots of people dont smoke or drink. unfortunately we have the ones who use sex as a social scale booster but in the long run they will regret it. and youll be the one laughing because you stayed true to yourself...