What causes paranoia? Options

[dorkk-ie]

What mainly causes someone to be really paranoid in a relationship...
and HOW DO U HELP YOURSELF/YOUR PARTNER become less paranoid...

[*This Confession*]

Just little things and your mind starts to wonder, I think Josh would be best at answering this question.

But you talk to your partner and get reasurred that there isn't a problem in which caused the paranoia in the first place.


well that was lamest terms

[*Uronacid*]

Hmmm.... I'm Josh by the way, well...

WHAT IS THE CAUSE
I'll tell you, alot of things cuase paranoia... paranoia is caused by fear. These fears could be derived from anything... in a relationship, it's generally the fear of loosing your partner, but what specifically triggers it...

TRIGGERS
Hmmm, well for me paranioa is triggered by things that remind me of my past. My first relationship really messed me up. It was extremely unhealthy towards the end of the relationship. I was hurt really bad. Now, if holly does anything the even remotly reminds me of the relationship I once had... I completely freak out... I am deathly afriad of expeirencing that again. I look at everything she does with such detail because I'm always on the look-out for signs of my previous relationship.

WHAT CAN YOU DO
DO NOT CHANGE THE THINGS YOU DO IN YOUR NORMAL LIFE!!! ! DON'T LET OUR PARANOIA CONTROL WHO YOU ARE!!! Stay who you are, do not change who you are becuase they are paranoid. Don't treat us paranoid poeple differently becuase you are afriad of makeing us freak out. Instead, let us freak out, and tell us how much you care, and show us that there is nothing to be afriad of. Explain to them the truth about we are freaking out about, and don't leave out any detail. Paranoid people think about EVERY POSSIBLITY, eliminate every possiblity!!!! Don't get offended about what we think... we don't think bad things on purpose, it's almost subconcious. Make us feel loved. There are sometimes that I feel so worthless. I feel like such a job... I don't want to be, but I don't know how not to be... anything anyone says or does doesn't help... You really just need to help us get over our fears...

CONCLUSION
I know that it sounds like a job. It is, but it's your choice. We know that... It accually only makes us feel crappy, and feel like we wish we were someone else. erf... just be loving, and be very understanding... even tho we can be horribly stupid at times...

[xforgottenlove]

to me, if you care a lot about that person, you get paranoid. and i guess the only way to not become so paranoid is to just talk to your partner about it and just have strong trust between you two [:

*blehh i use too many smileys in my posts x__x

[pedophile]

I think that it's caused by a lack of trust between your partner. The only way you can actually fix it is by learning to trust your partner.

[_sarcastic_]

i think it's pretty much what Josh said. (i can call you that right?)
i get paranoid easily in a relationship, i tend to over think things and then i start getting paranoid that it might actually happen. in other words i worry too much.

[*Uronacid*]

I think that it's caused by a lack of trust between your partner. The only way you can actually fix it is by learning to trust your partner.

this is so not true! its caused by fear... I trust holly, I don't mind if she talks to or hangs out with other guys, but if she does things that remind me of my ex... I FREAK OUT

[pedophile]

this is so not true! its caused by fear... I trust holly, I don't mind if she talks to or hangs out with other guys, but if she does things that remind me of my ex... I FREAK OUT

Yeah, exactly. That fear is preventing you from fully trusting them.

[Zachy-Poo]

all about the trust. you don't trust if you fear. (IMO).

[pedophile]

^ Thank you.

[Zachy-Poo]

^ Thank you.

ha, sorry. realized i wrote the same thing
you did. it's true though. i doubted a lot in the
relationship. kicked me in the a$$ hard.

[*Uronacid*]

you guys obviously arn't paranoid... for someone like me it's not trust. It's fear of the past re-occuring... It's not that you dn't trust the person. It's more that your afriad it wil all happen again. It's totaly sub-conscious

[pedophile]

you guys obviously arn't paranoid

Actually, yes I am. Explaining how I'd know this.

[*Uronacid*]

Alright, maybe you don't trust in people to believe that that couldn't possibly happen again... but it doesn't mean you don't trust them. I think it's much much more deap than just trust. That is not the cause of paranoia... paranoia is cuase from the fear, not the lack of trust. I belive you have to get over the fear before it's possible for you to trust them. therefore trust is not the issue.

If it wasn't for the fear of what had happened happening again. You would completey trust them.

[pedophile]

Alright, maybe you don't trust in people to believe that that couldn't possibly happen again... but it doesn't mean you don't trust them. I think it's much much more deap than just trust. That is not the cause of paranoia... paranoia is cuase from the fear, not the lack of trust. I belive you have to get over the fear before it's possible for you to trust them. therefore trust is not the issue.

If it wasn't for the fear of what had happened happening again. You would completey trust them.

Sir, I believe you fully contradicted yourself.
Yes, you DO have to get over your fear before you trust someone. &that's what mostly causes paranoia, lack of trust. &yes, you can trust someone, but only to an extent. The lack of trust could come from many things, including fear. You FEAR that they could do something, therefore not letting you trust them as much, therefore making you paranoid.

[*Uronacid*]

Sir, I believe you fully contradicted yourself.
Yes, you DO have to get over your fear before you trust someone. &that's what mostly causes paranoia, lack of trust. &yes, you can trust someone, but only to an extent. The lack of trust could come from many things, including fear. You FEAR that they could do something, therefore not letting you trust them as much, therefore making you paranoid.

this is true, but I think that fear is the main thing

Paranoia is a an excessive anxiety or fear concerning one's own well-being which is considered irrational and excessive, perhaps to the point of being a psychosis.

It may seem like a lack of trust, but really it's fear...

(from wikipedia)

*goes to bed*

[*This Confession*]

paranoia is a delusion that someone will harm you in some way, whether physically, mentally or emotionally.


Eh i hate to say this

learning to trust means realising that someone can hurt you

The exact cause of paranoia is unknown. I think everyone can have a different case of paranoia then. Everyones different.

[dorkk-ie]

are there some ways i can make a paranoid person whose lost trust in me, feel loved.....?

my bf doesn't believe me when i tell him i do not hav feelings for this other guy. we talk a lot, yes. apparently enough that someone would say that we're going out... (the other guy+me)=/ WE'RE NOT THOUGH. i really really like my boyfriend, i dont' want something like this to destroy everything we have... i've tried telling him, but he's really hurt right now.
what can i do to make him listen to me and believe that the only guy i like is him?
or according to josh's advice....make him feel loved at the state he is at now..

[*mipadi*]

Generally, it's a result of insecurity. The "cure" is simply stated but difficult to achieve. To stop being paranoid, you have to be content and happy with yourself. You have to embrace the idea that you're fine how you are, that people want to be your friends or significant other, and that, while you are open to change and personal improvement, overall you're a pretty good person.

[*Uronacid*]

Generally, it's a result of insecurity. The "cure" is simply stated but difficult to achieve. To stop being paranoid, you have to be content and happy with yourself. You have to embrace the idea that you're fine how you are, that people want to be your friends or significant other, and that, while you are open to change and personal improvement, overall you're a pretty good person.

this is true too

are there some ways i can make a paranoid person whose lost trust in me, feel loved.....?

my bf doesn't believe me when i tell him i do not hav feelings for this other guy. we talk a lot, yes. apparently enough that someone would say that we're going out... (the other guy+me)=/ WE'RE NOT THOUGH. i really really like my boyfriend, i dont' want something like this to destroy everything we have... i've tried telling him, but he's really hurt right now.
what can i do to make him listen to me and believe that the only guy i like is him?
or according to josh's advice....make him feel loved at the state he is at now..

well, what specifically is it about the relationship that he is scared of? If it's something specific you can talk about it. Try to understand him, and then help him understand you. Whatever you do, don't change who you are or stop hanging out with your freinds. If you aren't doing anything wrong with your friends don't stop. It will only make him trust you less or be more paranoid when you hang out with any guy. Subconciously. he may feel as though you might have stoped just because you were doing something wrong. it won't help him get over it. You are loving him by continueing your life style and being yourself.

[dorkk-ie]

Generally, it's a result of insecurity. The "cure" is simply stated but difficult to achieve. To stop being paranoid, you have to be content and happy with yourself. You have to embrace the idea that you're fine how you are, that people want to be your friends or significant other, and that, while you are open to change and personal improvement, overall you're a pretty good person.

how can i help him achieve that..?
he's scared of losing me.. i want him to understand there is no other guy out there for me right now. he's a really good boyfriend when it all comes down to it.. i wanna tell him that there is no body esle , and that i <3 him and only him... but what can i do when he dont believe me.... i dunno, i feel so hopeless =/

[*This Confession*]

You always reasure him, don't ever quit. As long as you really mean what your saying then just tell him that. He may not believe it at first but I'm sure if you keep tellinghim about it he'll get the point

[*Uronacid*]

deffinitly, just be consistant....

[pinacoolada]

I think insecurities in the relationship cause paranoia...trust issues

[*mipadi*]

how can i help him achieve that..?
he's scared of losing me.. i want him to understand there is no other guy out there for me right now. he's a really good boyfriend when it all comes down to it.. i wanna tell him that there is no body esle , and that i <3 him and only him... but what can i do when he dont believe me.... i dunno, i feel so hopeless =/

Hm, good question. You know, I used to be a pretty paranoid person, too. My friends tried to be nice about it. They coddled me. They never came out and told me I was being a jerk, so I never got over it. I never learned to accept myself.

And then one night my friend, this girl that I also liked, just came out and told me I was being a "bastard" most of the time. And sure, at first I was upset—but then I realized she was right, and thanks to her honesty, I was able to take a good, hard look at myself, and realize what I had been doing wrong.

Moral of the story: Sometimes you have to tell your loved ones that they're being little bitches.

Now, don't get me wrong, it's cool to try to be nice to people and help them. But maybe your boyfriend just needs someone close to him to come out and tell him the truth: that he's being ridiculous and he needs to get over it.

[happinessx]

Well, I'm paranoid about my my MSN and MySpace being hacked, because it's happened once before, and I'm still withdrawing from the..things that were said about me pretending to be me, by the hacker.

I'm also slightly paranoid about things that people say about me; I HATE backstabbing with a passion even though I am hypocritical because I do it without knowing.

Help? =/ It's not a severe case.

[*Uronacid*]

Hm, good question. You know, I used to be a pretty paranoid person, too. My friends tried to be nice about it. They coddled me. They never came out and told me I was being a jerk, so I never got over it. I never learned to accept myself.

And then one night my friend, this girl that I also liked, just came out and told me I was being a "bastard" most of the time. And sure, at first I was upset—but then I realized she was right, and thanks to her honesty, I was able to take a good, hard look at myself, and realize what I had been doing wrong.

Moral of the story: Sometimes you have to tell your loved ones that they're being little bitches.

Now, don't get me wrong, it's cool to try to be nice to people and help them. But maybe your boyfriend just needs someone close to him to come out and tell him the truth: that he's being ridiculous and he needs to get over it.

yes, this is true... juat becuase I said to chow that you love him doesn't mean that you have to act like it's not a big deal. Sometimes loving someone involves telling them off when they are wrong. I mean, it doesn't mean you cuss them out, but It does mean you have to tell them how it is. You can tell him he's being unreasonabe without flippng out, btu at the same time let him know your serious. You have to tell your loved ones when they are doing you wrong. It's the only way they will ever know enough to stop.

[*This Confession*]

Lotte. Those are kind of just normal paranoia issues. Of course onces its happened before your going to have the fear of it happening again. You just got to get over it. And believe thats its not going to happen again and once you've gone through expierences then you learn something and what to look for in people so it doesn't happen again.