The Wrong Blues, criticism? |
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 Jul 6 2006, 08:24 PM
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#1
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 daughter of sin  Group: Member Posts: 1,653 Joined: Mar 2006 Member No: 386,134  |
Breathe in and out.
I see you at the piano, playing the blues, though the wrong blues.. for dreams cannot be easily altered, even after consideration. Now all this contention continues to destroy the air. You press the right chords, the right amount of sound, yet it's still the wrong blues. Fidelity and perception have gone in the wrong direction, informally. And my green make-up still abides on me. |
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Jul 7 2006, 05:36 AM
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#2
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 I'd rather make mistakes than break. Group: Member Posts: 121 Joined: Mar 2005 Member No: 117,869 |
It's interesting, but forms a very vague picture that fails to leave a real impression.
Uh, but great word choice! |
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Jul 7 2006, 11:24 AM
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#3
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daughter of sin Group: Member Posts: 1,653 Joined: Mar 2006 Member No: 386,134 |
QUOTE(agirlnamed_aly @ Jul 7 2006, 6:36 AM)  It's interesting, but forms a very vague picture that fails to leave a real impression. Uh, but great word choice! Yeah, I get that a lot actually :P I like writing vague works though.. I think it allows the reader to interpret it in any way he/she wants. |
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Jul 7 2006, 02:48 PM
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#4
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 ...who created this mess...? Group: Member Posts: 451 Joined: Feb 2005 Member No: 97,244 |
Yeah, it is vague, but I think that's what makes it deep.
QUOTE Fidelity and perception have gone in the wrong direction, informally. ^ That part is the best; it made me pause to think about it for a moment. |
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