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[Hiphop d[-_-]b]

In light of recent events and the majority of the cB community generally wanting to bring together a closer community, I took the liberty of re-starting a thread that BrandonSaunders started a while ago. I thought a new one should be made, to start fresh and new and this way we could all get closer. I think this is one of the few topics where we SHOULD have a version 2/3/4 and so on, because it's a topic where I am asking, as Brandon asked that we all share stories and opinions and feelings and interact.

Reference to his topic, and ideas of questions and such to ask can be found here : http://www.createblog.com/forums/index.php...=115046&hl=


As Brandon said :

For the most part, most of us are nothing more than screennames and links to networking and blogging mediums.

Lets take the opportunity to get to know each other. Feel free to ask someone (in here) a few questions about them; something that has always interested you about the person. Try to maintain proper decorum, but make an effort to reach out to someone instead of wondering what someone is really like.

I'm an open book. So I guess yous can all start by asking me something.

This should be fun...

This time, you could start by asking me something, or asking someone else something that you've always itched to ask about.



Im Isabella. Im 14 going on 15, but people usually mistake me for somebody 16-19. Not really because I have an 'old' looking face but because of my general appearance and demeanor. I know online i seem childish and immature to many of you, but that's becase this is the internet and I dont give a f**k. But to people I know in person, they see me as very mature and grown. Maybe it's because of events in my life that have made it hard for me to have a normal childhood. For instance, I used to find solace in gang life and activity because I thought it was somewhere I could fit in and find respect and power but then my long term boyfriend and whom i believe to be my first love was shto and murdered and I realized this wasn't the life I wanted to lead, living each day worrying whether or not it would be my last or if I'd wake up tomorrow. I was molested, physically and sexually abused by 2 different boyfreinds and a friend of a friend. I look for love and reassurance in all the wrong places because my parents are ... the epitome of a failed marriage. All i have known from my parents is hatred. All they do is fight and yell and take it out on the children. Im also not exactly poor but yet, my family barely manages to live paycheck to paycheck. Any questions ? Does anyone want me to go into depth about the gangs, the abuse experiences, the family ? Feel free to ask questions.

[AnnahhbeL]

You had a tough life didn't you?

[*mipadi*]

Here's my thought on this: It's a good idea, but why do we need to have one single thread where everyone post something interesting that happens to them, or has happened to them? I say, if something comes to mind, post a new thread! It might not get tons of replies but at least it will get some discussion, and maybe help people get to know each other better! There's no reason that individual threads have to be general—they can be specific and personal. Give threads personality.

[Hiphop d[-_-]b]

You had a tough life didn't you?

I guess you could say so. In comparison to many others I guess I have. But I am learning to appreciate that I have had a tough life because it makes me stronger in the long run. At the time of the events, I felt alone and weak and worthless, stupid and naive. But now, years, months, weeks later I look back on the experience and take as much wisdom from those experiences as I can. Many, many of my friends come to me for advice and say that they think i have all the answers, and many refer to me as their therapist because I always help them with advice one way or the other because I have been through a lot. I think people who have had easy lifes, lives that they just sail through from one great thing to another are cheated of a better living. As the saying goes, you can never be truly happy until you've been truly sad. Without something to make you appreciate what you have, how appreciative can you truly be ?

Here's my thought on this: It's a good idea, but why do we need to have one single thread where everyone post something interesting that happens to them, or has happened to them? I say, if something comes to mind, post a new thread! It might not get tons of replies but at least it will get some discussion, and maybe help people get to know each other better! There's no reason that individual threads have to be general—they can be specific and personal. Give threads personality.

Well, then lets do that as well. If someone gets an idea for a new topic in here, then feel more than free to do so. I didn't mean to imply that this should be the thread where everyone talks and interacts. By all means, make as many threads as you feel might bring the community closer.

[*AngelicEyz00*]

b' date='Jun 20 2006, 9:36 PM' post='2103523']
Im Isabella. Im 14, but people usually mistake me for somebody 16-19. Not really because I have an 'old' looking face but because of my general appearance and demeanor. I know online i seem childish and immature to many of you, but to people I know in person, they see me as very mature and grown. Maybe it's because of events in my life that have made it hard for me to have a normal childhood. For instance, I used to find solace in gang life and activity because I thought it was somewhere I could fit in and find respect and power but then my long term boyfriend and whom i believe to be my first love was shto and murdered and I realized this wasn't the life I wanted to lead, living each day worrying whether or not it would be my last or if I'd wake up tomorrow. I was molested, physically and sexually abused by 2 different boyfreinds and a friend of a friend. I look for love and reassurance in all the wrong places because my parents are ... the epitome of a failed marriage. All i have known from my parents is hatred. All they do is fight and yell and take it out on the children. Im also not exactly poor but yet, my family barely manages to live paycheck to paycheck. Any questions ? Does anyone want me to go into depth about the gangs, the abuse experiences, the family ? Feel free to ask questions.

Wow, I can't believe all that I'm sorry to hear about all that you've gone through. How long ago was he killed?

[Hiphop d[-_-]b]

Wow, I can't believe all that I'm sorry to hear about all that you've gone through. How long ago was he killed?

August 23, 2003. ( I know I was young, but young love is pure and where I grew up and the atmosphere of my schools and neighborhood and such it was truly not out of the ordinary to have a steady boyfriend at a young age. ) We were walking to the park with his little sister Linda and it was a drive-by. It's a miracle me and Linda weren't shot as well. They got him to the hospital but there was nothing they could do. His family moved away and I lost touch with Linda. This year would have been his 16th birthday.

[yummy_delight]

Bella: You are one of the strongest people I know. To have gone through so much and take something positive away from it is awesome. You are a truly amazing person.

[pshaa.shauna]

Alrighty, let's give this a shot.

I'm Shauna. I am half-way adopted. I am the product of a rape, my "biological father" was never found. Due to the fact that my grandparents are extremely religious, my mother wasn't allowed to have an abortion, which is why I am here. This has caused tension between my mother and I, which is why we aren't close, and why I can't be around her side of the family. My dad's side of the family doesn't like me because I'm not really a part of their family. I've gotten over this fact, and it makes reunions more interesting when the old people throw mashed potatoes. I'm not liked at school much for my blunt attitude, but I'm anti-social. Basically, all of this has taught me to not care what other people think. I have two younger brothers, the youngest of the two is Autistic. My mom is at work, and my dad is at school, leaving me to clean up and watch over my brothers. We don't have a lot of money, and they argue a lot, but I've taught my brothers the phrase "Hakuna matata", and they blow it off now, because their fights are stupid, like when someone spills the coke on the kitchen floor. I live in Indiana, surrounded by corn and soy beans, and there is a beaver in the cornfield next to my house.

It's a very irritating beaver.

[Hiphop d[-_-]b]

Aaaw Lauren. That warms my heart Lol. Thank you. That really do mean a lot. And, not sure if you got the message on Myspace but i'm glad you found Jenny.

But to get the topic going.


What would any of you say was a life-altering experience ?

[Looow]

Bellllla. I know you've told me about your past before but I'm still very sorry.

I admire that you are so open to everybody. Forreal though. I coudn't do that. I don't even open up to my cloesest friend about what I've gone thru in my life. As much as I would like to share like you asked.. I can't.

[Hiphop d[-_-]b]

Alrighty, let's give this a shot.

I'm Shauna. I am half-way adopted. I am the product of a rape, my "biological father" was never found. Due to the fact that my grandparents are extremely religious, my mother wasn't allowed to have an abortion, which is why I am here. This has caused tension between my mother and I, which is why we aren't close, and why I can't be around her side of the family. My dad's side of the family doesn't like me because I'm not really a part of their family. I've gotten over this fact, and it makes reunions more interesting when the old people throw mashed potatoes. I'm not liked at school much for my blunt attitude, but I'm anti-social. Basically, all of this has taught me to not care what other people think. I have two younger brothers, the youngest of the two is Autistic. My mom is at work, and my dad is at school, leaving me to clean up and watch over my brothers. We don't have a lot of money, and they argue a lot, but I've taught my brothers the phrase "Hakuna matata", and they blow it off now, because their fights are stupid, like when someone spills the coke on the kitchen floor. I live in Indiana, surrounded by corn and soy beans, and there is a beaver in the cornfield next to my house.

It's a very irritating beaver.

Sounds like an interesting family reunion. What is autistic ?


Lorenaa. It's all good. I'd NEEEEEEVER speak openly about all this in person though, so it's good to talk so freely of it to you guys. Nobody I know in real life really knows anything I have ever shared on cB about me.

[Looow]

I know forreal. I don't share a lot about my life on cB but it's definetely more than I ever tell my friends.

This stupid cB controversy has me thinking that I'm spamming .

[Hiphop d[-_-]b]

It's not spam. It's a reply to a reply. It has something to do with the topic and has general relevance to the whole thing.


I just dont like sharing my life with people I know, because I feel they are judging me and I then feel vulnerable. I hate, hate HATE that feeling of vulnerability.

[pshaa.shauna]

b' date='Jun 21 2006, 1:17 AM' post='2103646']
I just dont like sharing my life with people I know, because I feel they are judging me and I then feel vulnerable. I hate, hate HATE that feeling of vulnerability.

I hate it too, I once told one of my friends what I typed up on here, and she told everyone, and they all started treationg me differently.

Autism is a mental handicap, if you will.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Autism

[SarahxJoy]

What would any of you say was a life-altering experience ?

Hrm, I'd have to say that being diagnosed with diabetes type one has been the most life-altering experience for me.

[pshaa.shauna]

b' date='Jun 21 2006, 1:12 AM' post='2103619']
What would any of you say was a life-altering experience ?

I'd have to say being mugged at knifepoint. I know that sounds bad, but it was the best thing that ever happened to me. Before i was always mopig and whining about how my life sucked, and afterwords...not so much.


What would you say if the best skill/ability you have?

[iDecay]

SAMFDFDLFM. Post edited.

[SarahxJoy]

What would you say if the best skill/ability you have?

Keeping secrets..I guess. Either that's my best or one of 'em.

[Looow]

^ Yeah, same here. I think I'm really good at keeping secrets. It's funn because most people think I'm the kind of girl who loves to gossip & talk shit about people. Once they get to know me, they're opinion changes completely. I mean I don't mention it right when I meet somebody but yeah.

[AnnahhbeL]

b' date='Jun 21 2006, 12:48 AM' post='2103560']
August 23, 2003. ( I know I was young, but young love is pure and where I grew up and the atmosphere of my schools and neighborhood and such it was truly not out of the ordinary to have a steady boyfriend at a young age. ) We were walking to the park with his little sister Linda and it was a drive-by. It's a miracle me and Linda weren't shot as well. They got him to the hospital but there was nothing they could do. His family moved away and I lost touch with Linda. This year would have been his 16th birthday.

I'm so sorry to hear that.
He died on my 11th birthday too.

[*Weird addiction*]

Ok, here we go.

I'm Sandra and I'm 18 years and 21 days old. I was born into a very abnormal family. My dad abandonned me before I was born. I was raised by my mom and grandmother.

I'm not going to say my life history but meeting my dad was a very terrible thing BUT I learned a lot from everything. I've been through depression. I actually think I'm stronger in life.
Things got so bad that I actually took refuge in sex. Some old members might actually remember me constantly talking about sex. I still do, but way less.

Anyways, that's all. I'm tough, weird, annoying and a bitch. Stay away from me.

[Gypsy Eyes]

Wow bella I just gained so much more respect for you

Hi, I'm Jackie. I just turned sixteen. My family is a bit messed up, but nowhere near as bad as some other people who posted. Basically my mom isn't fond of me (i don't like her either). She is always on my about appearence and weight even though I'm over 100 pounds less than her. She's very critisizing, condesending and basically not there. My father is amazing, I love him to pieces but he is always working. My grandmother makes up for all that. SHe is my best friend and I love her to death. I have severe ocd, bdd and I've struggled with anorexia/bulimia for years. I'm always here if someone ever needs to talk about their experience with that, or needs help.

life-altering experience: I don't know, probably this past school year. The people I considered my best friends just stopped talking to me completely. It was my first year of highschool, and I didn't know anyone. My grandma was in and out of the hospital and my anorexia kind of sprung back up again. I became almost silent throughout all of my classes, which is a big difference from non-stop talking and constantly being told to be quiet.


skill/ability- Physical wise dance. I live and breathe it. But personality wise either listening/comforting or arguing/proving a point

What is your biggest childhood dream?

[*stephinika*]

Wow...reading all these has made me think...
What is your biggest childhood dream?
There's a question I was actually able to think of an answer to. My biggest dream I guess would be to become a proffessional dancer, but I'm somewhat given up on that...when I was young, I switched between types of dance and took a 6 year break from traditional forms of dance (ballet, jazz, etc.) and took Polynesian. I regret that, and wished I had stayed in it all because I took up ballet again this year and I love it and I'm not at the level I could be because of that break...and I'm not saying I'm a bad dancer, but I know I could be so much better, but at this age and time, its so hard to improve and because of university next year & lack of time/money I have to drop most of the classes I take now.

[Hiphop d[-_-]b]

Wow bella I just gained so much more respect for you

Hi, I'm Jackie. I just turned sixteen. My family is a bit messed up, but nowhere near as bad as some other people who posted. Basically my mom isn't fond of me (i don't like her either). She is always on my about appearence and weight even though I'm over 100 pounds less than her. She's very critisizing, condesending and basically not there. My father is amazing, I love him to pieces but he is always working. My grandmother makes up for all that. SHe is my best friend and I love her to death. I have severe ocd, bdd and I've struggled with anorexia/bulimia for years. I'm always here if someone ever needs to talk about their experience with that, or needs help.

life-altering experience: I don't know, probably this past school year. The people I considered my best friends just stopped talking to me completely. It was my first year of highschool, and I didn't know anyone. My grandma was in and out of the hospital and my anorexia kind of sprung back up again. I became almost silent throughout all of my classes, which is a big difference from non-stop talking and constantly being told to be quiet.
skill/ability- Physical wise dance. I live and breathe it. But personality wise either listening/comforting or arguing/proving a point

What is your biggest childhood dream?

Thank you. (:

And I know what you mean by your mom botehring you about your weight and struggling with bulimia and anorexia. When i was a kid, my mom worked nights and my dad was usually drunk and didn't bother with me or my brother so I'd go eat something and sit in my room, which led to me being overweight, and my mom would come home and fight with my dad for letting me eat, and after the fighting was over she'd come into my room call me a fat pig, threaten me with diets and forcing me to excersize and then repeat the cycle. I always feel inadequate and unworthy when im with her, like no matter how much i do to try and get her to notice all the good things i have done all she focuses on is the bad.


When i was a kid, my dream was to just have a normal functioning family. I used to think that all families were the way mine were. Then i started making close friends and started telling them, and they thought it was crazy that my parents fought and that my mom yelled at me and my dad was always drunk or just didn't care. Other than that, I've aaalways wanted to get into forensic science and crime scene investigation. For the longest time i've been really into death and murder and rape and how and why anyone would do that.

[*stephinika*]

My mother is somewhat opposite of yours...and not quite as extreme though. She always complains and bitches at me for being too skinny, and I'm not. I'm at a healthy weight and everything, but I can tell by the way she bothers me about it is she's jealous. She's constantly complaining about her own weight, and she's not even that overweight. Slightly, but she's a lot better off than some of her friends but it drives me nuts.

[Gypsy Eyes]

Hey steph that happened to me too! I took a break from traditional ballet and focused on more lyrical and modern and now I'm not at the level that I could be.

My dream is still to be a part of the Dance Theater of Harlem, or a singer

[The Nocturnal Ph...]

Uhh... This is quite an interesting topic. I don't share many things that have happened to me much with anyone. Well... I just found out I have yet another brother, like last week. & he lives in florida. God.. How I miss being a kid. If I could wish for something, That would most likely be my wish. To be a kid again & forever. I know what you mean about having the normal functioning family thing... I always wished for that. As a kid, I really did think that wishes would come true. I hated when my mom & dad argued. They did it like every ten minutes over the littlest things. Then it just fell apart. I mean, it wasn't a big deal, the divorce, but the bad thing was that I had to choose who to live with...

Choosing between your parents is not a good thing. Especially when you love both of them the same way. But I suppose that could've been a good thing.. you learn to appreciate your parents more because you spend less time with them.

Oh yeah & about the mugging, I was once mugged at gun point by some drunken guy.. Luckily a tow truck passed by and he was so drunk he thought it was the police so he ran away... I was scared shitless... Almost got my game boy stolen, but I didn't care about my game boy at the time..

[Rachel]

Jackie and Bella, you two are both amazing human beings and if you ever do need anyone to talk to, I am here.

Meh, I am Rachel and I don't know what to say. I guess I will just talk about Tom. I lived in Arizona basically my whole life and moved to Mass. last year in October. By December, I basically he was my boyfriend. I fell into complete and total love with him. I couldn't imagine not being with him and I let my love for him blind me from all of his faults. I didn't even know how hard I could fall until him. We were happy until summer of 05 when he cheated on me and after that, it was never the same. I lost faith in our love for eachother and in how much I meant to him. We started to fight more but I didn't want to leave hin. We broke up two times for a day at a time and then in March, we stayed broken up. He told me he didn't love me anymore and my heart smashed on the floor into a million pieces. I couldn't believe, I don't think my heart could handle the truth. I would tell people, oh he will realize what he has lost and will come back, but now I want him as far away as possible. He became a completely different person to me and now I don't even know why I stayed with him for almost a year and a 1/2. For the past 3 months (wow it feels like a hell of a lot longer) he has caused me so much pain that even if I did still love him, I could never allow myself to go back. I forced my feelings for him to the back of my mind and eventually out of my system. I realized I couldn't let my dream of him running back to me even be a dream. He was my first for many things, especially a broken heart. I used to think that the reason that I moved to Mass was to meet him, the so called love of my life, but now I realize it was just to make me a stronger person. Heartbreak really f**kin sucks, but now I am a better person and I know that I can survive it. I thought my world was ending but now I see it is just beginning. I know now that Tom wasn't the love of my life, he was just a love in my life. I can't wait to find the person who I know loves me for who I am and who I am meant to be with...lI wish I could have more to say or be more inspiring but I guess I can't. I guess I will end with part of a conversation I had with the lovely MissssCrissssy<3.

rachelis4lovers: us girls, we put our whole entire hearts into relationships
rachelis4lovers: just to get them crushed
M1SSxCHR1SSY: I know!
M1SSxCHR1SSY: And we do it over and over again.
rachelis4lovers: Yup, some days I just want to give up
rachelis4lovers: but I can't, because I know that love is real.
rachelis4lovers: and I will find the person who loves me the way I love them.
M1SSxCHR1SSY: yes exactly


(Wow, I wrote a f**k-load)

[*Zamunda*]

Hi

[*ECD & C0*]

It's a very irritating beaver.

at least you have a sence of humor

[*This Confession*]

Im Isabella. Im 14 going on 15, but people usually mistake me for somebody 16-19. Not really because I have an 'old' looking face but because of my general appearance and demeanor. I know online i seem childish and immature to many of you, but to people I know in person, they see me as very mature and grown. Maybe it's because of events in my life that have made it hard for me to have a normal childhood. For instance, I used to find solace in gang life and activity because I thought it was somewhere I could fit in and find respect and power but then my long term boyfriend and whom i believe to be my first love was shto and murdered and I realized this wasn't the life I wanted to lead, living each day worrying whether or not it would be my last or if I'd wake up tomorrow. I was molested, physically and sexually abused by 2 different boyfreinds and a friend of a friend. I look for love and reassurance in all the wrong places because my parents are ... the epitome of a failed marriage. All i have known from my parents is hatred. All they do is fight and yell and take it out on the children. Im also not exactly poor but yet, my family barely manages to live paycheck to paycheck. Any questions ? Does anyone want me to go into depth about the gangs, the abuse experiences, the family ? Feel free to ask questions.

well atleast part of that does make me think of myself and the young love thing and you were pretty young when he died.
So on so on.

I'm not going to tell you had a hard life though, because its life. No one ever said it was going to be simple. =/

Well I'm Holly. Most people on this site hate me. Because people take things differently then how you really meant them if you were infront of them talking about it. Anyway if anyone ever wanted to know anything about me then well go read my introduction in the moderator introductions. or Just IM me 0_o


I don't think anyone will take this topic seriously. Atleast some have =/

[Rachel]

I don't think anyone will take this topic seriously. Atleast some have =/

What are you talking about? Every post in this thread so far, minus KC (Zamuda=KC right?) has been either wicked intense and serious or people actually talking about themselves. Stop being negative.

[AngelinaTaylor]

I guess I can take a shot at this.

My real name isn't Angelina Taylor, but many people know me with that name. I'm Bulgarian, but I've lived in Canada since I was 13. I'm 17 now. I'm studying for a concert pianist, and my life seems to never stop - but I like it that way. I don't like saying that I've had a hard life, because it's been wonderful compared to many. When I was 12, a friend of mine (a 15-year-old) shot herself because of.. I guess love gone wrong. And I think that's when things started going downhill. I was abused in many ways, which I prefer not to mention, I had really low self-esteem, depression and all that bullshit. Then I moved to Canada, and since I didn't speak English, I hated it. But it wasn't that bad when I think about it now - I made a few friends, went to the conservatory (my absolutely favourite place on earth), etc. And since we didn't have money, a sponsor bought me a piano - it was the first time I was truly happy here. I was still dealing with depression and suicide attempts (feeble and stupid - I know). But I met a few people after that and my whole outlook on life completely altered. And things were good, until my dad had a car accident, and a few months later my uncle passed away from cancer, after which my grandfather passed away just ten days later. My friends didn't even care - my "online" buddies cared more for me at that time than them.. but that's another story. My boyfriend helped me a lot.. we've been together for over a year and a half. And even though it's long distance, we make it work. I don't want to make this too long - I'm an optimistic person, I like challanges and I look forward to the future, because I think every day is a chance to make things better.

Taylor``

[mylittleMiracle]

oh i dropped studying concert pianist year ago.:(
anyway,a question:in that hard period,who was your most important person to support you?

[push kicks]

akss me a question

[Gypsy Eyes]

anyway,a question:in that hard period,who was your most important person to support you?

Oh, hands down, my grandmother. She's always there, not matter what time it is if I need to talk and she knows exactly how to cheer me up.

What values are most important to you?

[Hiphop d[-_-]b]

well atleast part of that does make me think of myself and the young love thing and you were pretty young when he died.
So on so on.

I don't think anyone will take this topic seriously. Atleast some have =/

What exactly is the point you were making ? You have confused me. And .. who in here hasnt taken this topic seriously except for maybe Zamunda.

I'm not going to tell you had a hard life though, because its life. No one ever said it was going to be simple. =/

... I wasnt asking you to tell me I had a hard life. Did you happen to ignore this post of mine ?

b' date='Jun 20 2006, 9:43 PM' post='2103544']
I guess you could say so. In comparison to many others I guess I have. But I am learning to appreciate that I have had a tough life because it makes me stronger in the long run. At the time of the events, I felt alone and weak and worthless, stupid and naive. But now, years, months, weeks later I look back on the experience and take as much wisdom from those experiences as I can. Many, many of my friends come to me for advice and say that they think i have all the answers, and many refer to me as their therapist because I always help them with advice one way or the other because I have been through a lot. I think people who have had easy lifes, lives that they just sail through from one great thing to another are cheated of a better living. As the saying goes, you can never be truly happy until you've been truly sad. Without something to make you appreciate what you have, how appreciative can you truly be ?

^ That one right there. Sorry if this comes off a bit rude but what are you trying to accomplish in telling me "it's life." In the quote of mine I just showed you I think i pretty much state Im grateful for the hardships.

akss me a question

Where'd you learn about aaall the music and producers and new bands and all the music in general that you know about ? I remember you and Brandon knew A LOT and i used to wonder how you'd figure it all out.

[*Blow_Don't_SUCK*]

Okay I'll try to...

I'm Yen, born July 6, 1991. I was born and raised in Manila, Philippines where my whole family lived a plain, Christian-based life. Because of my grandfather's wishes, I was sent to a Chinese Christian Academy. For 11 years I studied there, and didn't really succeed. After visiting my sister in Minnesotta during summer break when I was 10, my father thought the United States was a pretty decent country and decided to move there 1 and a half years later.

Due to the currency of the Philippines being (way) weaker than the US dollar, we moved from upper middle class to...poverty. We didn't suffer much though (fortunately). My mom's nursing job took us to upper middle class in a year.

I never lived the hard life. The only hard part about my life was this on-going battle between me and my sister... and school. I really hate school. It's not my thing to sit around desks writing on a piece of paper that other kids in countries could and would want to use. They're wasting paper on me...

When in your life did you ever feel so bored and lonely that you took almost everything for granted and you felt being "suffocated"?

[Hiphop d[-_-]b]

oh i dropped studying concert pianist year ago.:(
anyway,a question:in that hard period,who was your most important person to support you?

Myself, actually. I've never actually had a friend i could trust, because I have trust issues. I dont confide in friends, it makes me feel vulnerable and I hate that. And people always tell me I can't keep it locked away but I write about it, and it somewhat releases a little of whats inside me, and music helps to. The songs that you find yourself totally relating to brings comfort to me, because I know someone out there who wrote it feels the same way, if not the other thousands of teens who can relate as well.

Which brings up another question.

For me, music is and has always been a HUUUGE thing in my life.
Whats something in your life you really value and love ?

[Gypsy Eyes]

Whats something in your life you really value and love ?

Music, Art and Dance. It's a way to express anything you can't find the words to say. It keeps me sane, and it's my way of communicating.

[Hiphop d[-_-]b]

Whats something in your life you really value and love ?

Music, Art and Dance. It's a way to express anything you can't find the words to say. It keeps me sane, and it's my way of communicating.

I know exaaactly what you mean. Whenever im feeling anything, like mad or sad or anything I find a song that can express it and it calms me down. You took the words right out of my mouth Lol. I always find music and dance and art to have greater depth and express things with the colors and movements and beats and sounds. I sound crazy but music is so ... I cant explain it. It's something I know i could never live happily without.

[*stephinika*]

^^
I agree with that also. I may not be the best in dance, but it is something I love and have been doing for years and I love it, whether it be dance class, or dancing with my friends. Its a way of releasing all my stress and emotion. That and singing.

[AngelinaTaylor]

oh i dropped studying concert pianist year ago.:(
anyway,a question:in that hard period,who was your most important person to support you?

Why did you drop?

To answer the question: probably my boyfriend. He never really left me, even when we broke up for a while.

Taylor``

[Gypsy Eyes]

^ I know what you mean. This is going to sound tacky but my music theory teacher said this, and I love it

"Music is an advanced way to describe our most primitave feelings in the complex way we are feeling it. It doesn't come from the head like books. It comes straight from the heart, soul and emotion."

[Hiphop d[-_-]b]

I guess I can take a shot at this.

My real name isn't Angelina Taylor, but many people know me with that name. I'm Bulgarian, but I've lived in Canada since I was 13. I'm 17 now. I'm studying for a concert pianist, and my life seems to never stop - but I like it that way. I don't like saying that I've had a hard life, because it's been wonderful compared to many. When I was 12, a friend of mine (a 15-year-old) shot herself because of.. I guess love gone wrong. And I think that's when things started going downhill. I was abused in many ways, which I prefer not to mention, I had really low self-esteem, depression and all that bullshit. Then I moved to Canada, and since I didn't speak English, I hated it. But it wasn't that bad when I think about it now - I made a few friends, went to the conservatory (my absolutely favourite place on earth), etc. And since we didn't have money, a sponsor bought me a piano - it was the first time I was truly happy here. I was still dealing with depression and suicide attempts (feeble and stupid - I know). But I met a few people after that and my whole outlook on life completely altered. And things were good, until my dad had a car accident, and a few months later my uncle passed away from cancer, after which my grandfather passed away just ten days later. My friends didn't even care - my "online" buddies cared more for me at that time than them.. but that's another story. My boyfriend helped me a lot.. we've been together for over a year and a half. And even though it's long distance, we make it work. I don't want to make this too long - I'm an optimistic person, I like challanges and I look forward to the future, because I think every day is a chance to make things better.

Taylor``

I like your outlook. You seem really positive and upbeat. How long did it take you to learn english ?

[*This Confession*]

... I wasnt asking you to tell me I had a hard life. Did you happen to ignore this post of mine ?

No sorry I didn't. I was reading what everyone else had said to your post about you've had a hard life and so on. Sorry though I didn't read your other posts. I haven't gotten much sleep and reading long posts give me headaches because the words are all together and lines and lines of words -_-' and I don't look at the computer when I type so It doesn't give me a headache when I type stuff I guess.

What exactly is the point you were making ? You have confused me. And .. who in here hasnt taken this topic seriously except for maybe Zamunda.

Well I had a boyfriend die, he got in a car accident supposedly. I stayed out of it for the most part. Long story. And had some pretty bad things happen to me in my past that were close to yours. I mostly stayed to myself and I'm always the one over in the corner of the room by themselves. Eventually I had really bad emotional problems. And then I trust or care about people to quickly and it turns out to the worse usually. Eventually later in life, I lost one of my really good friends in a car accident after he moved. And then I never told anyone anything. So on.

I have a headache now. I'll finish this later, perhaps. Don't know yet.

[AngelinaTaylor]

b' date='Jun 21 2006, 10:09 PM' post='2105482']
I like your outlook. You seem really positive and upbeat. How long did it take you to learn english ?

About three years.. Two and a half. I read a lot..

Taylor``

[Hiphop d[-_-]b]

^ I know what you mean. This is going to sound tacky but my music theory teacher said this, and I love it

"Music is an advanced way to describe our most primitave feelings in the complex way we are feeling it. It doesn't come from the head like books. It comes straight from the heart, soul and emotion."

Thats so true. My choir conductor tells us to sing with our heart and not our voice and when you do, you really can connect with the music fully. Im so proud of my choir, I get a little cocky when i talk about it. My choir is currently the best in northern california, we won the all state competition in March. I just .. I love my choir. And i love dancing as well, the two put together is one of the highest forms of expression, if they werent already alone.

[AngelinaTaylor]

^ I know what you mean. This is going to sound tacky but my music theory teacher said this, and I love it

"Music is an advanced way to describe our most primitave feelings in the complex way we are feeling it. It doesn't come from the head like books. It comes straight from the heart, soul and emotion."

This is so right. It also comes with hard work, though :P

[Gypsy Eyes]

Bella (may I call you that?) This topic was a great idea. Finally something serious in the lounge.

Who/what has been your inspiration?

[*stephinika*]

I guess I'll write a little something...though it may not be as interesting or insightful as some of yours.

I had a typical life as a child and whatnot I guess...during my preteen/early teen years I became depressed though. I didn't have any real friends at one point and I was so self-critical and had extremely low self-esteem as I hated my body and I could always find something wrong with myself. It got so bad to the point I almost committed suicide. But then I got scared. I realized I didn't actually want to die so I started looking up and I became more optimistic in life. My self-esteem went up and I gained more confidence as I found some real friends in high school.
My first real relationship was amazing and it lasted for a year and 8 months...but I ended it. I ended up losing feelings for him, while at the same time gaining feelings for someone else. I felt so guilty and people starting making rumours up and calling me a slut. I had feelings for the guy but we didn't actually do anything, but we were best friends & because we spent so much time together, gossip ensued. Eventually we got together after my breakup with my now ex boyfriend and I'm still with that guy now and it's almost been a year, and I don't think I'll ever meet someone like him again. He's amazing and he's taught me a lot. Family life is okay. I'm an only child with a very up & down relationship with my parents. Nothing too dramatic though. I'm still rather self-critical of myself but I've gotten much better. I already talked about the dance part of my life...so yeah. I don't know what else to say.
I'll answer any questions if anyone has any.

[Hiphop d[-_-]b]

No sorry I didn't. I was reading what everyone else had said to your post about you've had a hard life and so on. Sorry though I didn't read your other posts. I haven't gotten much sleep and reading long posts give me headaches because the words are all together and lines and lines of words -_-' and I don't look at the computer when I type so It doesn't give me a headache when I type stuff I guess.
Well I had a boyfriend die, he got in a car accident supposedly. I stayed out of it for the most part. Long story. And had some pretty bad things happen to me in my past that were close to yours. I mostly stayed to myself and I'm always the one over in the corner of the room by themselves. Eventually I had really bad emotional problems. And then I trust or care about people to quickly and it turns out to the worse usually. Eventually later in life, I lost one of my really good friends in a car accident after he moved. And then I never told anyone anything. So on.

I have a headache now. I'll finish this later, perhaps. Don't know yet.

Ooh i know how you feel about losing friends and everything. For me, in sixth grade, everyone just started .. for lack of a better word dying left and right. Kelsie and then a month alter terrence and then 4 days later ashley and then 10 days later jesse and then more and more and more. And i know what you mean by never telling anyone anything either cos I hate talking to people about problems and feelings. But is is true what people say .. eventually it will all build up until you can't hold it down anymore and it will burst out and you most of the time wont know hwo to handle it. Eventually you have to find someway to express what you have inside instead of stowing it away.

Bella (may I call you that?) This topic was a great idea. Finally something serious in the lounge.

Who/what has been your inspiration?

Of course (:
I'd say my inspiration actually comes from different artists and music and people who have had hardships that they overcome, not just one person in general. I love music that speaks of hard things and then go into how about things get better and change, cos it teaches listeners that their is hope and if we aspire for it, things can always get better. And in people. And for people, anybody who has ever had times where they though things could get no worse and then pulled themselves from out of the dark will always have my respect and admiration. How about for you ?

[*This Confession*]

yea
well ive had plenty of people kill themselves and die in car accidents, so on so on.

Actually I can hold things in, and never actually let them out. But yea I've heard that though.

Sorry would have more to say.

[AngelinaTaylor]

Who/what has been your inspiration?

Bob Shank. This is the wisest person I know.. I can't even begin to describe how much he's influenced me.. It's incredible. I'm the person I am today mostly because of him.

[Gypsy Eyes]

As far as a person I know, it would again be my grandmother or my father. Recently I have gained so much more respect for him, he just got in touch with his first daughter that he fathered in college. They had to give her up for adoption because they couldn't afford it. I couldn't imagine having to do that.

[pshaa.shauna]

b' date='Jun 21 2006, 9:57 PM' post='2105445']
Whats something in your life you really value and love ?

Art, Writing, and Music. I can express myself through art, and I love the way most drawings look(Digital Art is another story, I'm not so good at that). Writing, I love the way your emotions can just flow onto the paper,and afterwords, it's like it's out of your system, and the piece of paper you hold is your baby. And music, I'd die without music, there's no way to explain it. I cannot understand those people when you ask them what kind of music they listen to and they respond that they don't.

Who/what has been your inspiration?

My friends who actually appreciate me, the people I love, my brothers, my ambition to make sure my children have a, I wouldn't say better, because in all honesty other people have had worse childhoods then mine, but a less stressful childhood. I grew up too quickly, I want to make sure my kids don't.

When in your life did you ever feel so bored and lonely that you took almost everything for granted and you felt being "suffocated"?

Basically, my entire life, up until...oh end of November. I woke up. I had grown so used to the fact of everyone hating me, and then I met two people, who completely changed my outlook on myself. They say that you have to like yourself before anyone can like you, and that's not true at all. Sometimes you need someone to show you its okay to like yourself before you can. And at home, I learned to laugh and live when I got mugged. After it happened, I realized all I wa sthinking about was all of the things I haven't done yet, and all of the things I could have done.

at least you have a sence of humor

I've learned to laugh at things, its much more fun that way.

[Gypsy Eyes]

Sometimes you need someone to show you its okay to like yourself before you can.

Oh wow I love that

[doork]

Bella, way to go! After everything that had happened to you, you still manage to smile and move on in life. That is true strength.


Well, my name is Annie. I am 14 going on 15 on Sunday. I`m the opposite of Bella. People mistake me for 12-14 because of my height [4`11] and my babyface. People gave me the nickname, Sunshine because I am a happy person. I dont like dramas or violence. I`ll do whatever just to avoid it. Not much obstacles happened in my life so theres really nothing to tell. The only interesting thing that had probally happened in my life was the relationship between me and my ex. We were together for a little over a year. During last year`s summer everything changed between me and him. We both had to go to different schools, so I guess that was when he start having the urge to cheat. Just normal stuffs. He cheated, I cried, we broke up, and somehow we got back together then he cheated again and so on.. But then on Jan. 2 I got tired of putting up with all his games so I ended. I wanted to start this year off fresh. To this day we still talk, and he moved on. There`s a lot more to it, but I feel like stopping here. If you want to know more about me then feel free to IM me up or PM me.


life-altering experience: Nothing yet..

skill/ability: Manage to think about the positive even when I feel like .

what is your biggest childhood dream: Have a real family Thanksgiving dinner...

in that hard period, who was your most important person to support you? myself.



Everyones` stories is very interesting, and touching. I feel safe talking about my personal life on cB. I don`t know why..



Question:
What quote[s] motivates you?

Mine is " Cry your river, build a bridge, and get the f**k over it! "

[Gypsy Eyes]

^I honestly have no idea.

What is your biggest fear?

[*stephinika*]

My biggest fear: Being comletely and utterly alone with no one to turn to. Being abandoned by the ones I care about most.

[The Nocturnal Ph...]

Losing sight of what I want.

[pshaa.shauna]

What is your biggest fear?

To be forgotten. I don't care if everyone hates me and I only I like myself, I just don't wnat them to forget me. It gives an erie sort of feeling, like you never existed. You aren't even worth being hated.


To the quote thing- "I don't think of the future, it comes soon enough."

[doork]

What is your biggest fear?

Losing my family, the bestfriend, and clowns.

[*StanleyThePanda*]

Hi everyone, Im Kara.
I'm sixteen (will be seventeen on sunday), I was born on June 25th, 1989 at 7:24am.
I attend Cosmetology school, and am also a senior. I like reading, and writing (sometimes). I absolutely love movies and music, but I have television, unless there is something interesting going on, on the news.
I dont know what else to put. I suck at this introduction thing hahaha

Who/what has been your inspiration?

Best friends, and family.

What is your biggest fear?

Losing the ones closest to me.

[doork]

Hi everyone, Im Kara.
I'm sixteen (will be seventeen on sunday), I was born on June 25th, 1989

Hi Kara! I`m Annie and we have the same birthday but different years.

[*StanleyThePanda*]

^ oh, yay! You are... younger?

[push kicks]

b' date='Jun 21 2006, 6:55 PM' post='2105438']
Where'd you learn about aaall the music and producers and new bands and all the music in general that you know about ? I remember you and Brandon knew A LOT and i used to wonder how you'd figure it all out.

when i was in middle school i sold bootleg cds and i had over 60 GB of music. there was this one site i always went to (itsbx.com) and they had every single album you could ever dream of available to download for free. i downloaded everything i could and i eventually started listening to them. there was no friend who introduced me to good artists so it is kind of amazing that i have such a different music taste lol

[doork]

^ oh, yay! You are... younger?

haha yes mam` 1991

[Gypsy Eyes]

Here's a good one:

what is your proudest moment?

[AngelinaTaylor]

What quote[s] motivates you?

Mine is " Cry your river, build a bridge, and get the f**k over it! "

"What doesn't kill you makes you stronger."

Here's a good one:

what is your proudest moment?

When I went to provincial finals when I didn't expect it (piano performance), and then even better - to national finals (this Sunday).. I'm scared for my life though

[doork]

Here's a good one:

what is your proudest moment?

When I made my parents happy.

[The Nocturnal Ph...]

Losing sight of what I want.

Forgot to explain my fear... I meant, If i lose sight of what I want, I'd probably kill myself because there is nothing to look forward to in the next day or the one after that.

I sound so emo, but it's truthful.

[*This Confession*]

What quote[s] motivates you?

Take pride in your pain, for you are stronger than those who have none.

[AngelinaTaylor]

What is your biggest fear?

Deep waters. Also.. not being able to play.

--
What's the scariest/most dangerous thing you've ever done?

[marzipan]

what's your favorite sport?

mine's soccer.

[*This Confession*]

what's your favorite sport?

golf or soccer i suppose.
I like hockey though, they get to hit each other. But i would never play it.

[*StanleyThePanda*]

what's your favorite sport?

I love (watching) Football

[*Zatanna*]

what's your favorite sport?

Ping-pong! (I'm serious!)

[doork]

what's your favorite sport?

mine's soccer.

Basketball and soccer.

[pshaa.shauna]

Ping-pong! (I'm serious!)

My grandpa and I play Ping-Pong so competitivly, it's unreal.


My favorite sport would be running, like cross-country.

[oXMuhNirvanaXo]

Ok here we go..

Hello, Im Shelby. I was born in Lititz, Pa on December 20th 1990. This makes me 15. I have 2 brothers. One is my half brother and the other one is hole. The sad part about this is my younger brother is the one that is half which is 10 years old. He dosen't know that my father is not his real full blood father. So everytime I talk to him it feels like im lieing to his face. My older brother is 23.. he has a drinking problem and tryes to stay away from my house as much as he can because of my mother that has problems with drugs. My father is the one that works all the time then he has to come home and help me clean the house because my mother is to lazy or high to do anything at all. Me my self.. I got out of the drugs because of what they did to my mother. I told my self that I would not turn in to her. I live in fear of that. I am deeply in love with some one I never see. His name is Travis and he has to work all the time. My father dosen't like me dating him because he is not of our religion. Thats my life .. all happy joy.. joy.

[yummy_delight]

Who/what has been your inspiration?

My inspiration in life will always be God. His presence in my life inspires me to be strong and keep on living, even when I'm tempted to just give up. I can't tell you how many times He has helped me through some pretty awful situations. He is my life support.

Whats something in your life you really value and love ?

Besides my faith, I really value and love people. The love I possess for my family and friends is unparalleled, but I also care a lot for the ones I don't know. I'm one of those silly girls who believes that people need other people to lead happy lives. Not for self serving purposes, mind you. I think that in order to be truly happy we must be positive forces in the lives of our fellow human beings. My life has always been about taking care of people and making a difference in their lives.

I also value laughter. Too often, we take things a little more seriously than we should. I think that we need to be able to laugh at ourselves and the world around us sometimes to really enjoy life.

---

Now for a little about me.

I'm Lauren. I don't do nicknames. Right now, I'm 16 years old. Although, I'm still young, I know exactly who I am. I'm a girl who is madly in love with God, a writer, a musician, and utterly obsessed with justice and the truth. I realized a long time ago that my grades do not define me, so I'm not at all concerned with them, even if I'm an AP kid. I'm the one who smiles all the time, even when it seems like there's nothing to smile about. I love people, laughter, and possibilities.

Mind you, I wasn't always this optimistic. There was a point in my life where I wasn't happy with myself - a point I refer to as "the Dark Ages." My family has always been terrific, but I was unsure about myself, so I started to hang with the wrong crowd. They weren't into drugs or crime, but they were definitely into being selfish and mean spirited. They made me feel worthless, and not having a strong sense of self at that point, I believed them. I had a 6 month struggle with bulimia because I thought that somehow being skinny would make me love myself... which it didn't. The physical damage was not nearly as extensive as the emotional damage I suffered from hurting myself the way I did. I came out of it with the love and support of my mother. To this day, my dad and my brother have no idea.

I wouldn't have been able to do get where I am today without my mom or God. Both love me unconditionally, and with their love I finally understand that I'm perfect the way I am. Nobody can take away my identity or my sense of self. It has become my life's purpose to help people see the beauty within themselves and see that true friends love them for who they really are.

[marzipan]

Ping-pong! (I'm serious!)

i suck at ping-pong most asians are extremely good at it.

[*This Confession*]

^haha
Well thats good because I'm pretty good at it. I hit my sister in the face once It accidently hit off the roof of the room and smacked her in the face. Extremely funny though.

[*mona lisa*]

I decided to throw an Oprah/Dr. Phil question.

What is one thing you find special about yourself? Or something you're proud of?

[Hiphop d[-_-]b]

I decided to throw an Oprah/Dr. Phil question.

What is one thing you find special about yourself? Or something you're proud of?

Physically - My butt. Or my hair. Or my eyes.
Emotionally/Mentally - My ability to listen and give advice.

Otherwise, I like singing and dancing ! (:

[Looow]

^ I agree, I like going to you & talking to you about my problems cus I know you won't judge me & shit & you give good advice.

[*StanleyThePanda*]

I decided to throw an Oprah/Dr. Phil question.

What is one thing you find special about yourself? Or something you're proud of?

Hmm... Well, my personality is something that I like about myself.
And also, Im proud that Im doing well in school
Im also a good listener and friend.

[marzipan]

another question:

to you, what's the best thing about createblog?

[n00b]

this topic is great.
we don't all get the chance to learn about eachother.
I'm always sad. and I can't contain it. I cry alot and I can't help it.
Im NOT emo, so don't even ask.
I think I'm fat when I'm not
and I'm not very confident.
and I hate my name to death. "lydia"
I also feel stupid on createblog, because I have no friends on createblog.
It makes me feel left out and just... forgotten.

[pshaa.shauna]

The best thing about createblog, I'd have to say was the things I learned how to do here, and the friends I made. Even though this place can be hella annoying sometimes.

[Gypsy Eyes]

What is one thing you find special about yourself? Or something you're proud of?
Physically- my eyes. They tend to change color according to my mood so i think it's pretty cool. I've never met anyone else like that.

Emotionally/Mentally- I guess my ability to be strong for other people, and to comfort and listen to them. As well as cheering them up.

Other than that I'm pretty damn proud of my 2nd place solo in nationals for dance.

Best thing about CB

The people or the things I have learned.

[Hiphop d[-_-]b]

^ I agree, I like going to you & talking to you about my problems cus I know you won't judge me & shit & you give good advice.

Thaaank you :D

I tihnk the best thing about cB is things like this thread. We can all expose the raw details of our lives with less vulnerable feelings. If i ever said anything like this to my friends, I'd never feel the same around them again. At cB, i feel as if i can tell anyone anything and I wont be judged (Except for those few assholes ) . Just related to, or helped.

[*islandgirl4eva*]

What is one thing you find special about yourself? Or something you're proud of?
I'm particularly proud of my capacity to feel. I'm an extremely emotional person, and I tend to have a lot of sympathy and love for others.

[Hiphop d[-_-]b]

ALIIIIIIVE.


Thought I'd bump this back up.
Hmm ... questions .. questions.

Question:
What quote[s] motivates you?

"Nobody has your back like you do"
Although kind of negative, it is true in some sort. There are lucky people out there who find someone who truly would risk everything for them, but I've never had that and until then I always think of this quote when it comes down to serious things that may involve me getting hurt or into trouble.

"Once you've taken a couple punches and realize you're not made of glass, you don't feel alive until you're pushing yourself as far as you can go"
It's just very true. You can't be strong until you've been weak.


I sometimes think im unusual, or odd because I find myself thinking about, well, unusual things. At this moment, I can't even explain what I think about, but all I know is after a few minutes of turning these thoughts over in my mind, i begin to wonder if anyone else thinks about this as well, what if its only me that thinks like this, do i spend too much time thinking about things and then thinking about what others think about what im thinking about.

Hmm ..
Hello.


EDIT-
Oh and also, my biggest fear
Is the unknown. What I dont know scares me. For instance, death. Not death itself but what it brings and if there really is life after death and is it happy ? Do i fullfill all my dreams in heaven ? Is there a hell. It's unknown, and that makes me uneasy and scared. No one is really scared of the dark, but the paranoia of what is within in the dark.
I guess also, being alone. Im not sure if it goes under the unknown, because I know what it's like to be alone, and im frightened i might be alone forever.

[pshaa.shauna]

Bella, I have to say, after this thread, I've begun to like you as a person.

What's a "little thing" that puts you in an awesome mood?

[doork]

What's a "little thing" that puts you in an awesome mood?

When random people that smiles and said hello.

[KMFDM_MDFMK]

when my fiance give me chocolate

[MrElsewhere]

resurrected thread!

um.

i remember we had one of these a whle back...

My name's Phuc and I'm 14, but I turn 15 in August. I'm silly sometimes and i can be pretty serious, too. I was born in Long Xieng, Vietnam and at about 3, I moved from their to the states. I lived in sacramento from then until last year, when i moved south to the suburbia of Elk Grove. I grew up in poor apartment complexes, but I was a good boy. :D My parents were strict and I don't remember having to many friends. I think it was because I was the fat kid. ...the whores...

I went to a slightly bad school. It wasn't THAT bad though. At about 3rd grade, the school told me I was smart, but I was too young to really grasp the gravity of it. I was more widely known from their on, and got a lot more friends, contrary to the stereotype of everybody hating the smart kid. I helped all the kids with the school work, so I guess that was why. But my social side was also growing.

In 5th grade, I was crazy about this girl who did not like me. I thought we might have something, but sadly, no. She moved away without giving me her number or any contact info. And it wasn't until 2 years later I got back into contact with her. That was the major drama of my elementary days.

Fast forward, and now I like to listen to music and read. I'm on the computer way too much. But this summer, I've been exercising daily, so that makes me feel better about myself. uhhh. i'm bad at describing myself. >.>

[KMFDM_MDFMK]

where shall i start

Well my name is Chantul .I am 16 years old. I am black/korean and a few other things. I have lived in the states all my life. I have never really met my father because he went to prison before i was born. I have been to many different school...9 or 10... At one point in my life I was homeless. I was been raped by my mom's girlfriend brother 1 year ago. Currently i am engaged to the greatest guy int the world