Unwanted sex appears common in some teen relationships Options

[*mipadi*]

From Medical News Today:

Many adolescent girls report being threatened or pressured by their partners into having sex, potentially increasing their risk for sexually transmitted infections and pregnancies, according to an article in the June issue of Archives of Pediatrics & Adolescent Medicine, one of the JAMA/Archives journals.

Unwanted sex in the form of coercion and rape can harm mental and physical health and has been linked to depression, anxiety disorders, unplanned pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections (STIs), according to background information in the article. This type of sexual pressure or force can occur in a wide range of relationships, from those in which partners have just met to long-term partnerships.

Read more…

[BryMonster]

As messed up as it may seem, I believe it 100%. I hang out with a lot of girls and they usually tell me how they hate guys because they're assholes. They just use girls for sex and sometimes to take their virginity which is very a-hole like. These guys feed these girls lies to make them "give it up" to them. I hate guys like that.

[Ajmalhuuss]

I can believe that. I know so many women who have reported being raped by their own boyfriends. Its really sad because now they don't really wanna tell anyone and its a huge mental burden just being around the person who you thought would care deeply for you.

[SarahxJoy]

Yeah, isn't physical and sexual abuse more common amongst coming from husbands, boyfriends, and other males that the woman already knows, rather than actual random strangers?

[Ajmalhuuss]

Yup, thats what the stats say.

[xFaith]

So true. I can see it all around me...

[*Programmer*]

true....so true. i think about 5 girl i know have been raped in the past 2 years...from unwanted sex with there boyfriends...3 are locked up...and the other two our out on bail....the world is messed up..

[technicolour]

Yeahhh..uh..Duh. Some guys can be very convincing, what with all the lies they tell these girls. Quite sad.

[*Zatanna*]

Jinkies.

It's not that I don't have sympathy for those who fall for and succumb to that type of pressure. It's just not something I can relate to. I don't know... I've never had a difficult time saying "no" - even at the risk of being alienated.

*sighs*

I so don't miss the teenage years though. I really don't.

[*This Confession*]

WOO Just my kind of topic.

I can believe that. I know so many women who have reported being raped by their own boyfriends. Its really sad because now they don't really wanna tell anyone and its a huge mental burden just being around the person who you thought would care deeply for you.

People can get over the whole rape thing, a lot of people out there no someone out there has it a lot worse and learn to move on with their life and not live with the mental/ emotional problems.

Yeah, isn't physical and sexual abuse more common amongst coming from husbands, boyfriends, and other males that the woman already knows, rather than actual random strangers?

yea its been proven that people get raped or sexual abused more by people they actually know then completely strangers. I've said that somewhere else I believe.

true....so true. i think about 5 girl i know have been raped in the past 2 years...from unwanted sex with there boyfriends...3 are locked up...and the other two our out on bail....the world is messed up..

the world isn't messed up, Just some people are. People read up on these things I mean if you search on the internet you can find stuff where it tells you exactly how to rape someone. People can go to school to be a criminal psychologist and completely know how to rape someone and emotionally lead them on the whole way and get away with it. Its how people learn things and how people take life. You can't say the world is messed up because then your saying everything and everyone is messed up.

[*Uronacid*]

WOO Just my kind of topic.
People can get over the whole rape thing, a lot of people out there no someone out there has it a lot worse and learn to move on with their life and not live with the mental/ emotional problems.
yea its been proven that people get raped or sexual abused more by people they actually know then completely strangers. I've said that somewhere else I believe.
the world isn't messed up, Just some people are. People read up on these things I mean if you search on the internet you can find stuff where it tells you exactly how to rape someone. People can go to school to be a criminal psychologist and completely know how to rape someone and emotionally lead them on the whole way and get away with it. Its how people learn things and how people take life. You can't say the world is messed up because then your saying everything and everyone is messed up.

*hugs and kisses*

she's right.

many people are messed up, becuase they are all looking out for themselves.... become as selfless as you possibly can. It takes practice, but its totally worth it. :D

Give to Receive... *husg and kisses*

[*mipadi*]

People can get over the whole rape thing, a lot of people out there no someone out there has it a lot worse and learn to move on with their life and not live with the mental/ emotional problems.

Telling someone that others have it worse doesn't really help people get over the trauma of rape—or any traumatic situation, for that matter. Things that are personal are naturally harder to get over, even if someone else is worse off.

[*This Confession*]

People can still get over them, everything takes time. And if you think of things in different perspectives it helps. But if someone sits there and holds it against the world because they got sexually abused/raped. They need to move on. Not everyone is the same and such and it does take different things like going to a shrink and such. But its better then crying to the world about it.

[*Zatanna*]

I'm with you to an extent, Holly.

I can tell you from first-hand experience that some things, particularly when dealing sexual violence can't just be *overcome*.

If anything, I don't think that people (women specifically) cry *enough* about it. It's really scary, knowing that there are so many acts of sexual violence that *aren't* reported either out of fear, or out of not wanting people to hear them, well, bitch about things.

[*This Confession*]

There also people out there that get told if they ever want to live again or if they want to be raped again then not to tell a soul. And people live with that guilt. All they can do is move on and forget it. Its not like you can clear it from your memory completely but you leave it to the back of your mind to a extent that it doesn't bring you down everyday.

Theres so many stories about people being raped that you can't explain every emotion or story as a example for people to understand. People learn how to move on though. Its all you can do in the end. Its better then living everyday depressed about it.

[*mipadi*]

I never said people should stay depressed about it and "blame it on the world"; rather, I said that people need help and support to get over it, and it's not supportive to merely tell them, "Well, others have had worse happen, so you should just deal." People need to feel free to seek support for rape—and any traumatic experience.

In fact, Zatanna pretty much just echoed exactly what I said.

[*This Confession*]

And i'm saying that all don't need that.
Which i said above it differes from person to person
Atleast i think i did. I don't know i'm to lazy to scroll up and look.

[*mipadi*]

And i'm saying that all don't need that.
Which i said above it differes from person to person
Atleast i think i did. I don't know i'm to lazy to scroll up and look.

They don't need help and support to get over things like rape?

[*This Confession*]

some don't
Some just live with it.

[*mipadi*]

some don't
Some just live with it.

So, just to be clear, you're saying that in traumatic events, there are two ways to deal with it:

1. Deal with it on your own and get over it yourself (without any help and support from friends, family, or professionals);
2. Don't get over it at all.

[*This Confession*]

I hate how some people don't ever think more into things

1. Deal with it on your own. No help from others, people are very independent sometimes and don't want others sympathy over things and don't want others in their business about it all, asking questions about it and such.

2. Go get help, talk to as many people as possible go to psychologist and talk to them their always going to be there, they won't exactly be the top on the list of the caring matter but there always there to listen. Of course its their job to listen to your problems. and talk to you about them.


I never said for someone to never get over it.

[*mipadi*]

You do know that's pretty much what I just said; the fact that you were arguing so adamantly is why I asked for clarification a number of times.

[*This Confession*]

which explains so much of why i don't deal with this tyoe of subject with some people.


type*

[*mipadi*]

which explains so much of why i don't deal with this stuff with some people.

What exactly is that supposed to mean?

[*This Confession*]

what it says.

[*mipadi*]

See, no offense, but this is part of the problem: You post something that's unclear. A person aks for clarification. You give another vague answer. Then a person has to make an assumption about what you meant. And then you bite his head off because he made the wrong assumption.

I don't mean to be pissy, but on the Internet, one doesn't have the benefit of vocal tone or body language, so it helps to be clear; and if someone asks for clarification, they might not be trying to be an a-hole—they might honestly not be clear about your statement, and wants to be sure of what you meant.

[*This Confession*]

well by most of the things ive read of yours. It means exactly what it says. And I think in the other posts they were explained enough. I'm not going to argue with you.

[*mipadi*]

You act as though I'm some kind of ass who's out to get people. Just because I post my thoughts and opinions, doesn't mean I have anything personal against people with whom I disagree (or who disagree with me).

[*Zatanna*]

at both of you.

You guys are so saying the same thing (well, sort of at least).

And once again I marvel at the inability to have context when cooresponding via the internet.

[*This Confession*]

^ gee thanks

[*My Cinderella.*]

I think that's true. There's been a lot of peer pressure at my school lately. I heard some guy in my grade got a 6th grader pregnant.

[*Weird addiction*]

I'm with Michael on this one. I got a little pissed reading This Confession's posts.

[Gypsy Eyes]

I agree^

A lot of people never fully get over it. A girl at my dance studio was raped, and even though she has been in treatment for years, she still freaks out small dark places. She won't even let her boyfriend kiss her. It really does screw you up for life, even if you move on there is always that thing in the back of your mind. This Confession, I think you need to have a little more sensitivity to this. It's not just about saying to to sex or losing your virginity. It deals with losing your sense of self and safety.

[*Programmer*]

^ i thinks she's trying to say Girls have a hard time getting over the feeling of violation and sense of security......
----------------------------------------------
on another note....sorry for generalizing...what i said... your right.... not everyone does it but you'd be suprised by how many do...

[Skyline Drive]

I'd like to think those guys are just acting out because they were violated as children or

something of that sort but it's probably not the case in most of those relationships. What the

hell triggers anyone to violate their spouse/mate/girlfriend like that.


Those assholes need to go get their man power elsewhere

[*disco infiltrator*]

I agree^

A lot of people never fully get over it. A girl at my dance studio was raped, and even though she has been in treatment for years, she still freaks out small dark places. She won't even let her boyfriend kiss her. It really does screw you up for life, even if you move on there is always that thing in the back of your mind. This Confession, I think you need to have a little more sensitivity to this. It's not just about saying to to sex or losing your virginity. It deals with losing your sense of self and safety.

This is completely true. When I was a child, I had some encounters with sexual molestation (I won't go into detail...) and I still have trouble in intimate settings. Like, I can "do stuff" to a guy, but when anyone tries to do anything sexual to me, I get really, really uncomfortable.

[Kounouri]

All these people that are saying people shouldn't whine so much, and that victims should get over it and hold nothing against the world- all I have to say is, no, no, no.
Obviously you are some of the lucky ones who have never experienced psychological challenges. I have been living with a mood disorder for as long as I can remember, that has been diagnosed only for 5 years. It's not that easy just to deal with these things.
Even a completely healthy, strong person can have psychological backlash from a traumatic event.
Have you ever been raped?
Have you ever dealt with real depression?
Probably not. It's not so easy for everyone. Like you said- other people have it a lot worse. Some people have worse consequences, with the strength of heart to deal with it. And others have a decent life, and difficulties inside themselves.

And EACH is EQUALLY hard.

Being the victim of a rape isn't something you just "get over"- not for everyone, that is. If people don't listen to their cries for help, things will only get worse.

[*This Confession*]

^Have you ever been raped?

I mean you said you have a mood disorder, but you never said you have been sexually abused or raped.

All these people that are saying people shouldn't whine so much, and that victims should get over it and hold nothing against the world- all I have to say is, no, no, no.

I'm not telling them to go lock them selves in a closet and stay away from the world they have to get over it their own way.

I'm with Michael on this one. I got a little pissed reading This Confession's posts.

why exactly?

A lot of people never fully get over it

I never said people get fully over it, you always have it with you but you don't go around everyday thinking about it. That just makes it worse. And then you'll get extrememly paranoid. Not a good thing.

[AngelinaTaylor]

I never said people get fully over it, you always have it with you but you don't go around everyday thinking about it. That just makes it worse. And then you'll get extrememly paranoid. Not a good thing.

You can't NOT think about it, kind of, you know? And you can't help NOT get paranoid. It's kind of what the whole experience brings you.

Taylor``

[*This Confession*]

^for some.

Like I listed before, people are different. People get over things in different ways then others. No one is exactly the same. I mean you can have the people that have been attention seekers and need attention when something bad happens and need all the support they possibly need to build up their self-confidence.
And then you have others that stay to themselves. And get over it all on their own. No matter how hard the truama.

[AngelinaTaylor]

^for some.

Like I listed before, people are different. People get over things in different ways then others. No one is exactly the same. I mean you can have the people that have been attention seekers and need attention when something bad happens and need all the support they possibly need to build up their self-confidence.
And then you have others that stay to themselves. And get over it all on their own. No matter how hard the truama.

Have you ever had a scarring sexual experience?

Taylor``

[*This Confession*]

what do you think?

[AngelinaTaylor]

if you didn't read this
then your too slow.
I'm not keeping this posted.

Hmm. I read it. And -

I think you're lying.

Taylor``

[*This Confession*]

and why do you think that?

why do you keep quoting me
why won't you just make your post shorter and just put a arrow up
and say what you want.

[AngelinaTaylor]

Because you don't seem to really know what it's like.

Taylor``

[*This Confession*]

well do you know what its like?

If you don't then you have no right to tell me anything about not knowing what its life.

[AngelinaTaylor]

well do you know what its like?

That's too personal. I don't have to answer that. And you didn't have to answer mine :)

Taylor``

[*This Confession*]

which is exactly why i erased it.

and if your not going to answer the question
then don't ask the question at all.

[AngelinaTaylor]

which is exactly why i erased it.

Good :)

And just because I ask it, doesn't mean I have to answer it. You don't have to answer it, you know.

Taylor``

[Looow]

I believe this. I kno I have been in this situation kind of recently with my boyfriend. I know how to say no though .

[AngelinaTaylor]

I believe this. I kno I have been in this situation kind of recently with my boyfriend. I know how to say no though .

You're still with him?

Taylor``

[*This Confession*]

Aparently she is. Atleast nothing did happen, but I think from the article and such it means being sexual abused meaning you don't exactly have the say in saying no.

[Looow]

Yeah I am .. I mean we talked about it after n stuff. I just didn't want to yet.

[AngelinaTaylor]

^ But did he force you to do it? And did he threat to leave you or something like that?

Taylor``

[Looow]

lol you're so curious. uhm. no he didn't. if he would have done that.. that fool would have been gone instantly.

[Kounouri]

No I've never been abused or raped.
But the fact is none of us can say anything about what it's like, until we have. Because we DON'T know what it's like.
So I think that we both should just stop talking about it like we know enough about it to make judgement.

[*This Confession*]

^then you don't really fall under the category of this topic..

This is talking about like boyfriends just raping their girlfriends and stuff like that. I mean if he didn't even come close to that and you just said no and that was it.. then well i don't see it.

So I think that we both should just stop talking about it like we know enough about it to make judgement.

who are you referring to?

[AngelinaTaylor]

Haha yeah.. But I'm relieved.

I thought you were one of those people who keep being with a guy despite his abusive behaviour..

Taylor``

[PrincessAda]

Wow.Thats true.Their is a lot of pressured sex.I hear soo many rumors of girls being pregnant because the guys got them drunk and stuff.

[*This Confession*]

^yea.
we have like a 8 yr old in the neighborhood my grandma lives..
but she got pregnant a little while ago.

[xCrys]

Dang, why'd everyone jump Holly? She just stated facts that were actually true. My mother was malested by her step-father (hes not her step pa anymore) She occassionally talks about it sometimes, but you can see the hurt in her eyes... And the fact that her mother didn't do anything about, I think thats what hurts her most. & yeah, she lives with that day to day, but she doesn't CONSTANTLY think about it, she lets it set in the back of her head unless someone mentions something about it. I'm sure she still hurts from it, but she doesn't let it control her. Like Holly said, it differs with people on how they get over things.... Ya'll didn't have to jump her..

But back to being on the topic, it's true, rarely nowadays do you hear about rape from some guy off the street... It's usually someone they know, and to tell you the truth, it pisses me off. I had a friend who was raped by her boyfriend, she got pregnant, and has a little baby now. Truth is, shes still with him, she still lives with her parents, who don't even care about her. She lives with that day-to-day, and she will for the rest of her life... That baby will be her constant reminder... It ticks me off, I better get off here before I rant more v.v

[ecargnmyst]

yup..this guy ive known since freshman year..but weve only said hi in the hallways so we werent that close..we hooked up 2 wks ago when we were drunk and then he tried to have sex w/ me after prom a few days ago.. the thing is he kept making up some bs about how much he likes me..blablahblah..psssssshhhhhhhhhh

yeah right ..i didnt fall for it

[*This Confession*]

Dang, why'd everyone jump Holly? She just stated facts that were actually true. My mother was malested by her step-father (hes not her step pa anymore) She occassionally talks about it sometimes, but you can see the hurt in her eyes... And the fact that her mother didn't do anything about, I think thats what hurts her most. & yeah, she lives with that day to day, but she doesn't CONSTANTLY think about it, she lets it set in the back of her head unless someone mentions something about it. I'm sure she still hurts from it, but she doesn't let it control her. Like Holly said, it differs with people on how they get over things.... Ya'll didn't have to jump her..

But back to being on the topic, it's true, rarely nowadays do you hear about rape from some guy off the street... It's usually someone they know, and to tell you the truth, it pisses me off. I had a friend who was raped by her boyfriend, she got pregnant, and has a little baby now. Truth is, shes still with him, she still lives with her parents, who don't even care about her. She lives with that day-to-day, and she will for the rest of her life... That baby will be her constant reminder... It ticks me off, I better get off here before I rant more v.v

i adore you.
I know plenty that have been raped and such.
So its not like i was completely clueless.

[oXMuhNirvanaXo]

This has happend to me once or twice.. wioth my boy friend.. I tell him hes cute and he comes back and says .. " They why dont you f**k me?" This shocked me because he ment it... I dont need that shit. But I still love him :-) Its fuked up.

[*This Confession*]

^
That doesn't exactly fall under this thing either, i mean if he just said it then woop-te-doo. But i mean if he forced himself on you and invaded you then that would fall under this...

[Looow]

Fool, chill out.

Let them say whatever. Stop quoting everybody.

[*Programmer*]

Reviewing this...Holly...i notice you disagree with certain people's aspects on this matter...and that's respectable to show your point of view....But different people take meanings different ways...you don't have to call them out for not meeting the details that you see fit....although i do respect your opinions...i think you should tone it down a bit. and let people interperate this the way they feel fit.

[*This Confession*]

^ehm okay.

and to who ever you are. I didn't bother to look at your screen name
Don't call me a fool
kthx.

and don't tell me to stop quoting everybody.

[Looow]

hahah my name is lorena.

and i already told you.

[Hiphop d[-_-]b]

SMAAAASH.

[*This Confession*]

0_O

[*Programmer*]

Now now.....ladies play nice....

[Looow]

Hahah. Bella .. you're hella stupid.

[xXKissMyOpenWris...]

Although I know that this happens a lot, this is a totally different thing then people thinking girls feel pressured or 'just let them' have sex.

Girls like sex, too. Provided it's good sex, and it's not always about the guys, you know?

[Spec_R]

sorry if i know nothing but why would their boyfriends rape them? I mean, like ex bf or still in the relationship? if they love their boyfriends then why don't they just have sex then instead?

[*This Confession*]

well somewhere it was listed that girls can rape guys..

its not in this topic i don't think.

[xCrys]

Spec_R -- Yeah, they COULD just have sex with them, but maybe they don't want to? Guys think that sex is everything, gah, that annoys me :(


&& Ily Holls :)

[xmy_sweet_reveng...]

Theres always one spoon with the stupid name in capitals who talks ballocks.

Anyway nice speach crys! and i think ill edit this when i read more about whats going on, i just heard rape rape everywere, and yeah it pisses me off too. Its all you hear on the news now adays '30 year old man has been charged with raping a teenager' really what? people needa get a life ^_^. anyway imma goto school n shizzle, toodles!

[*AngelicEyz00*]

Haha, Lorena!

Is there a reason why 88.5% of the 279 girls were African American?

Anyway, yeah, I think it's very common. There have been a few times where I didn't want to have sex with my boyfriend, but I did anyway, just so he wouldn't get upset. He's never forced me or anything, but he has, unintentionally, been coercive. The unwanted sex really only occurs when I'm not in the mood. If I really really didn't want to have sex, then I wouldn't.

[*AngelicEyz00*]

Bump.

Sorry for the double post, but I think this topic is worth some discussion.