relationship with self. |
  |
 Jun 10 2006, 12:35 AM
Post
#1
|
|
|
Newbie  Group: Member Posts: 6 Joined: Jun 2006 Member No: 421,185  |
i have problems with grief, cutting (and not just stupid attention shit, my arms are f**ked up all around from shoulders to wrists, and there are a small amount on my thighs and lower legs), drugs, borderline disorder, dysthymia (mild long term depression->i think this diagnosis would change if i could get back to a psychologist and psychiatrist, but my appts. not until the end of the month), huffing, eating (either binging or not eating at all...not bad enough for it to be an eating disorder, but i think i might head that way if i'm that unlucky), burning, and an inability to be in a relationship. everytime i get into a relationship and really like the guy, i think to myself, yeah i should count this as my first real relationship, because i really like him and it's going to go well. then a few good weeks pass, and slowly it gets worse, then i get really really depressed and start to avoid them for no real reason and i decide they're just annoying or something, and these guys are like my best friends before hand. then the relationship falls apart and ends. it's horrible. really really horrible. and i feel so trapped in my body, in my house, and everything is just falling apart. i'm only sixteen and my mom is getting so frustrated and scared that any day she'll come home i'll be dead, that she's acting like i just snuck out of the house and should be grounded or something. like i'm on punishment for feeling this way. i've went through programs and whatnot for cutting, but how can i get better when part of me, a very strong part, is fighting for my destruction. i just don't know what to do anymore and when my mom fills me with all her empty threats, i just get angry and don't care, which of course leads to me saying things i don't mean, horrible things, just to hurt her. i have a real problem holding it all back. oh my gosh, i just realized how long this is this is the first time i wrote it all down in words. well anyways, i'm scared and alone, and i feel all my support has either been torn away from me, pushed away from me, or ran away from me.
|
|
|
|
| *This Confession* |
Jun 10 2006, 01:39 AM
Post
#2
|
|
Guest |
Okay i had this whole thing written out. But it was as long as your post. I added you on myspace. My thing on there is myspace.com/thisconfession
I'll talk to you on all of this on there or if you even have aim.. then you can talk to me on aim and i'll send you what i was going to say on here.. my AIM name is - Go Unspoken or You look so lost blah well i'll try typing what i had since someone just made me copy over the other thing. -__- |
|
|
|
| *Uronacid* |
Jun 10 2006, 01:41 AM
Post
#3
|
|
Guest |
I couldn't possibly know how you feel, bud I will tell you this. I don't know everything about every situation that you go through. So I can't help you with any one spicific thing, but I can listen. You obviously don't feel cared about... I get the impression that you don't feel like anyone has ever cared about you. I also get the impression that you don't feel like anyon ever could (you shy away from your boyfriends at the sight of a problem). hmmm....
-what started all of this? -when is the first time you remember feeling insignificant? didn't something severe happen in your childhood or recently? AIM: thlivingimpaired |
|
|
|
|
Jun 10 2006, 09:14 AM
Post
#4
|
|
 Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 183 Joined: May 2006 Member No: 408,617 |
Well, Brittany. You have my support. 150%.
I've been through alot myself, and I'm also 16. If you ever feel like talking, just message me. Heather xxx |
|
|
|
|
Jun 10 2006, 09:47 AM
Post
#5
|
|
 CB's Forum Troll Group: Member Posts: 926 Joined: Mar 2005 Member No: 115,142 |
well, #1 is a noob
|
|
|
|
|
Jun 10 2006, 09:56 AM
Post
#6
|
|
 Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 1,476 Joined: May 2005 Member No: 135,305 |
have you read chicken soup for girls soul?it may help you a little bit.=] i know what you feel and i will support you!feel free to IM me if you want to talk more.
|
|
|
|
|
Jun 10 2006, 10:00 AM
Post
#7
|
|
 daughter of sin Group: Member Posts: 1,653 Joined: Mar 2006 Member No: 386,134 |
Umm.. seek professional help. We can't really help you here. So get into therapy.
Taylor`` |
|
|
|
| *Uronacid* |
Jun 10 2006, 10:22 AM
Post
#8
|
|
Guest |
QUOTE(Angelina Taylor @ Jun 10 2006, 11:00 AM)  Umm.. seek professional help. We can't really help you here. So get into therapy. Taylor`` look, tellling someone togo to therapy doesn't make them want to go... |
|
|
|
|
Jun 10 2006, 10:48 AM
Post
#9
|
|
|
Newbie Group: Member Posts: 6 Joined: Jun 2006 Member No: 421,185 |
i've been in therapy, it hasn't really helped. and when i have a problem i run away and get really depressed way before there is even a problem. the only things that happened recently and childhood, was i lost my dad when i was in 6th grade, thus losing my mom who was my best friend, because she had to take over the problem of being an authoritarian. i don't know what else i can say.
|
|
|
|
|
Jun 10 2006, 12:07 PM
Post
#10
|
|
|
Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 183 Joined: May 2006 Member No: 408,617 |
I lost my dad too, so I know how that feels.
Therapy's never helped me either, yet I'm still seeing a therapist, years later. Sometimes you just need to speak to someone who's been there and done that. And I know for a fact that therapists don't have issues, else they wouldn't get the job of handling someone elses. I have Borderline Anorexia; Borderline Personality and full blown Anorexia Nervosa, but I'm trying to 'recover' what I can of myself. I can relate to what you're saying, and so if you ever feel like you want to talk about anything - anything - don't be afraid. I'll help you through this. |
|
|
|
|
Jun 10 2006, 05:47 PM
Post
#11
|
|
 My name's Katt. Nice to meet you! Group: Member Posts: 3,826 Joined: Jan 2005 Member No: 93,674 |
Looks like a self-esteem problem. I've suffered from major and manic depression for 4 years, so I can totally relate to you. You sound very sincere, and recognizing a problem is 50% of finding a solution! Anyway .. feel free to IM me
AIM: Aka Ryu UX 
|
|
|
|
| *Uronacid* |
Jun 10 2006, 10:23 PM
Post
#12
|
|
Guest |
tell about the reasons you are sad... what makes you said...
|
|
|
|
| *This Confession* |
Jun 10 2006, 10:29 PM
Post
#13
|
|
Guest |
what makes you sad*
|
|
|
|
|
Jun 10 2006, 11:21 PM
Post
#14
|
|
 The Bone Collector Group: Member Posts: 2,860 Joined: Aug 2004 Member No: 44,162 |
I'm sorry to say, but you NEED HELP.
PROFESSIONAL HELP. I'm not talking about therapy either. We cannot help you here, no matter what people say. We don't even know what we're talking about, and you're only hurting yourself by talking to strang people on the net. You need to go to a physciatric ward. This reminds me a lot of Girl, Interrupted. You both have Borderline Personality disorder, but she healed after the help. |
|
|
|
|
Jun 10 2006, 11:39 PM
Post
#15
|
|
 none of it seems real Group: Member Posts: 2,469 Joined: Dec 2004 Member No: 73,889 |
Therapy. If you really want to get better that is what specialists are for.
|
|
|
|
| *This Confession* |
Jun 11 2006, 12:07 AM
Post
#16
|
|
Guest |
i loved that book
it made me think of other stuff... And talking to random poeple on the net can help Its talking to people and letting things out. And if you find the right person it can help greatly because they care. And if they didn't care then they shouldn't be listening. hmm idk. I care for people to quickly. I guess thats why i give advice. |
|
|
|
| *Uronacid* |
Jun 11 2006, 12:23 AM
Post
#17
|
|
Guest |
^not a bad thing tho
|
|
|
|
|
1 User(s) are reading this topic (1 Guests and 0 Anonymous Users)
0 Members: