ah. paranoia.., how to deal = [ |
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 Jun 4 2006, 05:47 PM
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#1
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 roosternamedingo.  Group: Member Posts: 1,211 Joined: Dec 2005 Member No: 333,926  |
so..my relationship is perfect. Well, of course not perfect but pretty close to it. I'm happy, he's happy, and we love each other. The main glitch:
I overanalyze everything...I worry that he might like someone else, fall-inlove with someone else etc...Then, I question my feelings. "What if I stop liking him" and all that, which is stupid because that just proves that I do like him..so I'm contradicting myself. But still, I'm always scared about something. I'm always afraid that something may go wrong.  The weird part: When I'm with him, I'm not scared at all. No worries. Nothing. How do I stop being scared? Because it seems to me like it's just something that just comes. I can't control it. I think about it then boom, I'm afraid. Help?
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Jun 4 2006, 06:29 PM
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#2
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 show me a garden thats bursting to life Group: Staff Alumni Posts: 12,303 Joined: Mar 2005 Member No: 115,987 |
Everytime you have these thoughts, pinch yourself. And hopefully by then you're skin will hurt so much from the pinching that you won't think these thoughts anymore.
You have to teach yourself not to analyze/think about it so much. It is hard, yes, but, you have to teach yourself. It's not something you read on the internet. |
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Jun 4 2006, 06:53 PM
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#3
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Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 2,343 Joined: May 2004 Member No: 17,767 |
How long have you guys been dating for?
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Jun 4 2006, 06:54 PM
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#4
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 dakishimetainoni... Group: Staff Alumni Posts: 4,322 Joined: Dec 2004 Member No: 75,318 |
I don't understand why people always start with "we are so perfect" or "everything is so perfect" or "_____ perfect" then talk about problems. If the relationship is so perfect, why are there problems?
Just let things flow naturally. You're only 14, why worry about things like this? If you two break up, big deal. You'll find someone else, life will go on. So what if you stop liking him? There are other people out in the world. Don't make your relationship your life. |
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Jun 4 2006, 07:20 PM
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#5
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 Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 95 Joined: Apr 2006 Member No: 398,023 |
Aw, I'm the same with my boyfriend. I think it would help to talk to him about this, who knows, he may be feeling the same.
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Jun 4 2006, 07:46 PM
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#6
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 Being happy...is all that matters Group: Member Posts: 765 Joined: Feb 2005 Member No: 102,284 |
Are you sure you're not feeling insecure in your relationship with your boyfriend?
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Jun 4 2006, 08:17 PM
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#7
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 sarcasm hides what you really feel Group: Member Posts: 550 Joined: Aug 2004 Member No: 37,105 |
your always going to have those feelings reguardless of who it is...thats how i know its love for me because i feel like my world would come apart should he leave. if i didnt care, i wouldnt be worried about the other girls hes with. but once you over analyze it on psychotic levels, then its time to rethink things. trust him, and should he mess up (God forbid) meat check him....kidding of course....
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Jun 4 2006, 09:26 PM
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#8
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roosternamedingo. Group: Member Posts: 1,211 Joined: Dec 2005 Member No: 333,926 |
QUOTE(Chii @ Jun 4 2006, 7:54 PM)  I don't understand why people always start with "we are so perfect" or "everything is so perfect" or "_____ perfect" then talk about problems. If the relationship is so perfect, why are there problems? Just let things flow naturally. You're only 14, why worry about things like this? If you two break up, big deal. You'll find someone else, life will go on. So what if you stop liking him? There are other people out in the world. Don't make your relationship your life. Ah I guess it is cliche, however there is no other way to describe it. I'm not saying it's perfect, I'm saying it's pretty close to it. I know perfection can't be achieved but still. Because I really enjoy this relationship and I'm really happy..except worrying is getting in the way of it. I know I'm only 14...so what? "Many fish in the sea" ..but I want this one. *Sigh*..I just realized that this topic sounds really stupid. Why I did it in the first place, I have yet to question. I guess being paranoid about this is like saying "I'm afraid I may paint the wall green" I talk to him about it..and he tells me not to worry about anything, because nothing will go wrong. That comforts me. Been together for almost 9 months now..he's my first, I guess that's another reason I'm so scared. I don't know what to expect, I don't have any experience..but oh well. This too shall pass..I hope. It should..I'll make it! haha... Thanks for the advice guys. |
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| *mipadi* |
Jun 4 2006, 09:50 PM
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#9
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Guest |
Back when I was in high school, I was pretty paranoid, too. I was always afraid that my friends didn't really like me, or they liked everyone better. I was always afraid I was going to lose them. Eventually, my paranoia consumed me to such a degree that I lost almost all of my friends. I remember one night in particular, I was out with a friend of mine—this girl I kind of liked, but who I was only friends with. Anyway, I vented to her, to say the least, about how no one liked me, everyone was against me, blah blah blah. It was a terrible night. She and I didn't hang out again for about a year.
The fact is, sometimes you can't never know how people really feel—but if people don't like you or things are amiss, they'll let you know. Maybe it'll be subtle, but you'll find out. And until you know there's a problem, you might as well not worry, because you can't do anything about a problem that you don't know about. In retrospect, my paranoia was a sympton, or manifestation, of my insecurity. I think the solution to not being paranoid is to become more comfortable with who you are. You have to realize that you're a great person and people are glad you are their friend. |
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Jun 5 2006, 10:46 PM
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 the name is ada. Group: Official Member Posts: 4,688 Joined: Dec 2005 Member No: 334,608 |
You should just let everything go along and let what happenes..happen.
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| *Uronacid* |
Jun 6 2006, 12:20 AM
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#11
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did you have soemthing occur in you rlife that caused you not to trust people, and or over analyze things... are your parents divorced? did you have a terrible first relationship? did soemone hurt you when you were young... paranoia brings about distrust, to get to the root of the probelms, talk about what caused it... find out what cuased it, and talk to your boyfriend about it
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Jun 6 2006, 01:48 PM
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#12
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roosternamedingo. Group: Member Posts: 1,211 Joined: Dec 2005 Member No: 333,926 |
QUOTE(Uronacid @ Jun 6 2006, 1:20 AM) did you have soemthing occur in you rlife that caused you not to trust people, and or over analyze things... are your parents divorced? did you have a terrible first relationship? did soemone hurt you when you were young... paranoia brings about distrust, to get to the root of the probelms, talk about what caused it... find out what cuased it, and talk to your boyfriend about it abusive father...but that was way back when I was little..3-5 maybe? I'm talking physical abuse though, nothing sexual. I doubt that affects me because I'm way over that. |
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Jun 6 2006, 01:54 PM
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 <(- -)><(- - <)(>- -)><(- - )> Group: Member Posts: 646 Joined: May 2006 Member No: 400,609 |
because your father might have been abusive makes you want to go search out for someone to care for you like your father didnt do. maybe you just feel that he is the one that can care for you and make you feel safe. i ono but you might want to tone it down because it seems that you are on the road to becoming an obsessive girlfriend and guys dont want that. dont even think about what might happend in the future enjoy your moments now with him because if one day everything is over you will only have memories of yourself thinkin that everything would be over. your 14 your true love has not come yet...
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| *This Confession* |
Jun 6 2006, 01:59 PM
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#14
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well maybe you only think your over the whole dad thing.. i think someone probably has said it but maybe you just overanalyze things to make sure nothing like that is going to happen again. Really sometimes I don't find it to be that bad of a thing. Sometimes its a good thing. Of course you can pull it to far. You just got to be content wiht your surrondings and stuff to be funny safe.
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| *Uronacid* |
Jun 6 2006, 04:32 PM
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QUOTE(This Confession @ Jun 6 2006, 2:59 PM) well maybe you only think your over the whole dad thing.. i think someone probably has said it but maybe you just overanalyze things to make sure nothing like that is going to happen again. Really sometimes I don't find it to be that bad of a thing. Sometimes its a good thing. Of course you can pull it to far. You just got to be content wiht your surrondings and stuff to be funny safe. exactly the things you do can become subconcous |
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Jun 6 2006, 05:49 PM
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 CB's Forum Troll Group: Member Posts: 926 Joined: Mar 2005 Member No: 115,142 |
Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they're NOT trying to kill you.
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Jun 7 2006, 05:33 AM
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#17
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roosternamedingo. Group: Member Posts: 1,211 Joined: Dec 2005 Member No: 333,926 |
I guess I am overanalayzing..it's annoying though cause I can't really control it. Then it prevents me from enjoying what's there.
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| *This Confession* |
Jun 7 2006, 11:49 AM
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#18
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Guest |
well don't worry about it
If you sit there and wonder and worry about then your never going to get over it, right? Just let life take its course. And don't be worried about thinking into things. Its a good thing at your age probably. Who knows. |
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Jun 7 2006, 12:11 PM
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#19
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 Member Group: Member Posts: 16 Joined: May 2006 Member No: 412,129 |
Well we can post all we like and you can ask for as many answers as you want but you won't find any here. Or anywhere for that matter. A perfect relationship is a relationship that HAS problems. A perfect relationship is one where the two of you can talk about your problems and work them out together. It's what helps relationships grow stronger. It's what makes relationships real and meaningful.
If you want an answer, I'm sorry but I don't have one that you would understand. :( But if you want advice, then talk about it. :) |
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| *This Confession* |
Jun 7 2006, 12:50 PM
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#20
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Guest |
haha
i like Steves advice the most. It makes me think of happy things. |
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Jun 7 2006, 02:57 PM
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#21
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roosternamedingo. Group: Member Posts: 1,211 Joined: Dec 2005 Member No: 333,926 |
alright..thanks guys..
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Jun 7 2006, 08:55 PM
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#22
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 Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 4,357 Joined: Jul 2004 Member No: 28,115 |
hey you live close to me!
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Jun 9 2006, 05:31 PM
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#23
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roosternamedingo. Group: Member Posts: 1,211 Joined: Dec 2005 Member No: 333,926 |
^ lol..which part of MA are you in?
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Jun 9 2006, 08:09 PM
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#24
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 banana ham! Group: Member Posts: 661 Joined: Sep 2005 Member No: 227,050 |
QUOTE(Chii @ Jun 4 2006, 7:54 PM) I don't understand why people always start with "we are so perfect" or "everything is so perfect" or "_____ perfect" then talk about problems. If the relationship is so perfect, why are there problems? Just let things flow naturally. You're only 14, why worry about things like this? If you two break up, big deal. You'll find someone else, life will go on. So what if you stop liking him? There are other people out in the world. Don't make your relationship your life. I agree with her. I am 14 myself, and I was in a "puppy love" relationship a few months ago. I was together with my guy for about what 13 months? and.. like the usual stuff everything was going great then later on into the relationship the guy cheats, got my heart broken blah blah... Anywhoos, my point is just chill.. and whatever happens, happens. Like you say if yall love each other then it doesn`t matter what goes wrong ya`ll can work it out TOGETHER. right? 
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Jun 9 2006, 08:58 PM
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#25
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Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 4,357 Joined: Jul 2004 Member No: 28,115 |
QUOTE(x0xIlmBx0x @ Jun 9 2006, 6:31 PM) ^ lol..which part of MA are you in? braintree... near quincy fine it's still a long drive but it's only 15 minutes to boston by car. |
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Jun 10 2006, 09:24 PM
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#26
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roosternamedingo. Group: Member Posts: 1,211 Joined: Dec 2005 Member No: 333,926 |
QUOTE(doork @ Jun 9 2006, 9:09 PM) I agree with her. I am 14 myself, and I was in a "puppy love" relationship a few months ago. I was together with my guy for about what 13 months? and.. like the usual stuff everything was going great then later on into the relationship the guy cheats, got my heart broken blah blah... Anywhoos, my point is just chill.. and whatever happens, happens. Like you say if yall love each other then it doesn`t matter what goes wrong ya`ll can work it out TOGETHER. right? yeah.. Anyway..I've been improving..I recently learned how to wave away my worries and instead concentrate on the good aspects of the relationship..I still worry a bit at times but it's ok. So..uh..problem solved? 
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| *Uronacid* |
Jun 10 2006, 10:16 PM
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#27
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eveentually thAts what you will train yourself to do... :)
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