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 May 5 2006, 12:26 PM
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#1
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 I'm sooooo horny  Group: Member Posts: 38 Joined: Dec 2005 Member No: 325,901  |
I think my writing is sh*t and wondered if anyone would give me some feedback on how to make it better This is called dreams and I wrote after a really a shitty day
Our dreams were in the sky and then they fell And we tried to catch them but we couldn't So they fell to the ground and broke to pieces There was nothing to do but try and make the pieces fit together but they didn't fit Our dreams were no longer here and we could even stop it There seems as if there is nothing to live for |
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May 5 2006, 12:48 PM
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#2
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 I love Havasupai Group: Member Posts: 1,040 Joined: Jul 2005 Member No: 163,878 |
At times, the purpose of writing is to reflect on the events of the day and let them go. Rather than dwelling on the memory of a bad day, try writing about something that stirs your emotions. How about writing about new dreams? Try building something from the ashes of the past and capture elements of hope and renewal while doing so.
Rather than mourning a sense of loss that has you rutted, try freewriting about what you can do to inspire the building of new dreams. If your mired in sh*t, don't sit there and say it sucks, get out of it! Good luck! |
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May 5 2006, 04:20 PM
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#3
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Newbie Group: Member Posts: 2 Joined: Apr 2006 Member No: 398,594 |
you shouldn't use the same word as in "fell" so many times. Use a thesaurus.
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| *My Cinderella.* |
May 5 2006, 04:23 PM
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#4
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Guest |
Try using a different word than "fell". Maybe you need something that'll help you, for example. Write about something...that makes you happy. Have fun with it.
 Keep us updated!
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