i'm no poet |
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| *tahco_monster* |
 Apr 20 2006, 08:40 PM
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#1
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the sun shines,
the girl smiles, how long can we keep living this pretend lifestyle? the party's over the candles are out and the boy is gone without a doubt. the bleeding heart ruptures again we always knew they'd be just friends. her heart is glass it breaks you see, but all you hear is me, me, me. the photograph left on the wall tells the story of it all. where there once was a smile, is now a frown and now i begin to drown. a river of tears begins to flow as a shaky hand begins to let go. an empty house is not a home, you can't go on living alone. her tempting body, her luscious lips are both begging for your kiss. all your fears and all your lies, now emerge from the tears falling from her eyes. perfection, perfection it never lasts, and you and i ended too fast. fingertips to fingertips, i always knew our love ceased to exist. a broken girl doesn't repair too well, there's too much left to say, and too little to tell. No one could see the flares we fired, our cry for help constantly backfired. try to get out, escape the hurt; the only protection, the only comfort. but she'll come back, she always does you were her one and only; the only love. uhh, i tried to put it into stanzas  c&c are appreciated |
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Apr 20 2006, 09:21 PM
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#2
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 daughter of sin  Group: Member Posts: 1,653 Joined: Mar 2006 Member No: 386,134 |
I loved it.. and I rarely like something that much :P The rhyming didn't seem forced at all (I can never do that so well.. it's a pure gift), and the imagery was beautiful.. It also seems freestyle, which I liked. My favourite lines were these:
"a broken girl doesn't repair too well, there's too much left to say, and too little to tell." You should join www.poems-and-quotes.com.. :) Taylor`` |
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Apr 21 2006, 04:29 PM
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#3
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 Pocketful of Sunshine Group: Staff Alumni Posts: 8,690 Joined: Nov 2005 Member No: 289,004 |
Moni, that was not psychotic of you! OMG! Haha.
 You're so good. Keep it up! Maybe you'll become a famous writer someday and forget about your AHH. D: |
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Apr 21 2006, 07:48 PM
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#4
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 Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 3,055 Joined: Jul 2005 Member No: 174,796 |
That, was really good moni, it would probably make a good song too =)
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| *tahco_monster* |
Apr 22 2006, 11:18 PM
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#5
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thanks guys!
 and AHH, i will never forget you and i'll never be famous! :D |
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Apr 29 2006, 10:50 AM
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#6
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 for you,i will<3 Group: Member Posts: 37 Joined: Apr 2006 Member No: 398,267 |
love it.
ryhmes very well 
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