Girlfriends Family Problems, :[ Options

[cookieskater2]

Yeah, it's long, and sad.

It started on Saturday when my girlfriend Holly called me in the morning. I know she had been having some family problems with her mom and dad fighting but I wasn't sure what it was about. When I answered she was crying and said "How soon could you get over here?" I asked what was wrong and she told me she'd tell me when I got there. I talked to her for a little bit longer and she just mentioned something about her dad.

When I got to her house she jumped into my arms crying. She told me that her dad was leaving them. We came inside and her Dad was packing up all sorts of things. She was still crying on my shoulder and her dad came up to me and said "I'm sorry I hurt your girlfriend, I know you love her and I'm glad she has someone like you as her boyfriend, I'm sorry, I love you Holly" And then he left. I stayed with Holly for an hour while she cried, this is something that I couldn't fix. All I want to do is make her happy and I can't fix this. I carried her outside and we walked to the dock in her park and sat there. I talked to her for a long time about everything and then we walked back to her house.(I just realised I made myself sound like an statue, I didn't just stand there while this happened, I was holding her the whole time and I wiped and kissed her tears.) Her mom was home now, she talked about some things and asked about dinner. She sometimes would get tears in her eyes when she talked. Holly would tell her that it's going to be ok. Her mom came up to me and gave me a hug while Holly went to her room. She said she was glad I came to be with Holly.

We went out for a movie that night and walked home. She called me that night and she was crying on the phone about it.

Her dad's really gone. It's so weird how he's just gone.

Tonight she called me and later during the conversation she started crying again. I stayed on the phone with her until 1:30.

"I don't understand it" How can someone who was married for 26 years suddenly not love someone anymore" "I hate telling my mom it's ok when I know its not. "I dont want to grow up this fast."

She told me to prmose her that she wouldn't get hurt again and I did. I'd do anything for her. I know for a fact I won't break up with her. Don't bring this into the advice though. I don't want to hear "BUTWHATIFYOUBREAKUPWITHHER?"

I felt so helpless, All I could do was say I was so sorry, and that I love her more than anything. Life is hard, and you can't always fix the things that go wrong.

What can I do?

I love her so much, but I'm helpless. All I want to do is make her happy, but I can't fix this.

She keeps crying and it hurts so much to watch her sad.

[NoSex]

Sounds like you are doing a pro job already, bro. She is hurting, and all you can really do is be there for her. It's unfortunate that we can't just snap our fingers and make this all better, but that we understand the weight and reality of such situations is best. It helps us grow, and live strong. Just help her along, and mend those wounds along side time. You have been doing a wonderful job already, insofar as I can tell.

Also, this will definately make your bond with your girlfriend stronger. She might learn something about life, and so might you. Her Dad sounds cool. Also, she sounds crushed, I would be happy if my dad left.

I don't know if that makes her lucky or me unlucky.

Opps, now I'm ruining this post. Oh, if only I was in a more cynical mood.

[cookieskater2]

Her Dad was really nice.

That's why she's so sad, I wouldn't think he'd ever do something like this.

Thanks, but my pro job doesn't seem to be all that good.

[NoSex]

Her Dad was really nice.

That's why she's so sad, I wouldn't think he'd ever do something like this.

Thanks, but my pro job doesn't seem to be all that good.

Well, he clearly isn't doing it for nothing. He's doing it for himself. If anything, I'm guessing his wife f**ked up hard and he's getting as far away from her as possible. Either that, or he's a closet douche bag. Who knows? But, it seems like he really needs to get away. Needs some time to himself. Although, I am probably awful wrong.

And, she is going to be sad. Isn't really much, you, me, or anyone else could do about that. She has been hurt deeply by her father's absence and exit. Seems natural. Don't expect for her to cheer up real fast. Just, like I said before, be there for her. Listen, attentively, to her concerns. Inject reasonable and practicle advice, when called for. Treat her "extra special" so she knows she's loved. Just make that she knows you are there for her for anything. Lots of that love bullshit.

Don't make me get cynical on this jive.

[mylittleMiracle]

her dad's leaving becomes a fact.....

just said"ur dad and mun lived together unhappily.do u want them to be unhappy everyday?"such kind of things..

anyway,just dunno wts the situation is....well....

[doom_diver]

Why the hell are u asking what to do? You know it already!

[EddieV]

Is it just me, or are posts in relationships usually the longest?

[doom_diver]

xnofearx: they are cuz they have to explain all the problems and details, but the truth is they dont need help.

The answer is deep inside them, it is just other thoughts blocking out or make them question their solution.

THe truth is that they just need to reach a little deeper, and the solution will be there.

I can assure u on this section of forum 95% of the problems arent even problems.

[EddieV]

Yeah they don't IMO, some people just make up stories. But it's cool, gives us more topics to post in.

Some of these "problems" are easily solved.

[*Blow_Don't_SUCK*]

Aw you're such a sweet boyfriend. You don't need to ask us what you need to do to make her happy again. You already are. If you kee being supportive and loving to her she'll heal in time. Oh and if there ever is a time (I am sure this will somehow come up) when she starts trying too hard to move on (like she's sad but she's pretening to be happy) tell her it's ok to cry sometimes and she needs all the venting she can get.

[alphanumeric]

oh, that's sweet. & even though you want to help, you can't always be there, you know? some things are better left for that person to deal with themself. i know you really care, you're a sweet boyfriend i wanna say aw, but someone already did (:

[cookieskater2]

Yeah they don't IMO, some people just make up stories. But it's cool, gives us more topics to post in.

Some of these "problems" are easily solved.

Jackass.

Why would I make up a story? I don't think I would post this just for some creative writing exercise. You didn't really contribute anything to the conversation at all.

Yeah, I guess I'm already doing what I can.

I know she's gonna be sad. I just wish I could so something.

Today was our anniversary and I surprised her after school. I usually don't see her until Friday. I think I cheered her up a bit.

[Comptine]

aw. i agree with most people here. you already are doing what you can. right now, your girl needs some stability in her life. just let her know you're there for her and she can count on you. and once in awhile, let her know that her father (i'm assuming...considering he did say 'i love you') still loves her but he was having problems with her mom. if it angers her, don't mention it too much.

[Chii]

umm...though you seem very nice and want to make her happy again you shouldn't have promised her that she won't get hurt again because she will get hurt again. maybe not by you or her family but she most likely will be hurt again. the only promise that can be kept is death.

i understand that she doesn't want to grow up so fast but it could have been way worse. many people would have loved to be scarred this way than by the ways they have been. i honestly don't see what the fuss is about...it's not her fault and her parents aren't blaming her. plus, her dad loves her, he'll visit her or let her visit him. in time, things will get better.

but just keep talking to her and help her get through this, there's always light at the end of the tunnel.

[xxxSiERRAxxx]

You, my friend, are doing the best possible job that anybody in this situation can do. You're being wonderful about it, really. I understand that it does hurt to see someone you love, someone you love so much be so hurt, so what you need to do is gather up some money and take her on a sailboat. There's a dock? Hmm...may there be a sailboat of any kind in that dock? If there is, contact the owner and offer like $30 or something like that if he would cruise you two around together, but not talking at all, just letting you two talk. Hint: Do it at sunset. Its the most happiest time of the day, and most romantic. Nothing makes a girl more happy than romance.
I'll leave it at that.
--->Sierra

[*iNyCxShoRT*]

These kind of things take time to heal. It seems like you're already doing a great job. You're being there for her when she needs you most. Try to take her outside more; letting her stay inside would probably make her feel worse. Try doing some new things with her; get her out and about. I hear that if someone shops outrageously, they leave behind what's actually troubling them.

[bad_girl]

Aww.. youre really sweet. anyway, youre doing really well already, i think that is the best you can do for her right now. all you can give her right now is a shoulder to lean on... and you've already given her that. now the rest depends on herself, she has to move on. just be there for her whenever, im sure it would help..